Chapter Fifty-Eight: A Home in My Heart

Author's note: My friend Ange (anarchist278) is writing a really awesome naley story, A Time Best Forgotten. You should check it out, it's really good and angsty.

Haley awoke, as she was beginning to become accustomed to, with her head on Nathan's broad chest, using it as a pillow. His arms were wrapped loosely around her and all her naked flesh was up against his.

After a moment, she realized she'd been awoken by an incessant knocking on the door. She groaned and kicked Nathan's shin to awaken him.

"There's someone at the door," she grumbled.

"Come in!" called out Nathan.

"Nathan!" hissed Haley, hurriedly disentangling herself from his arms and sitting up in the bed to wrap herself in the bed sheet.

Jake entered and raised his eyebrows at the scene he encountered, but said nothing.

"Morning. Just thought you should know that you guys are out," he said. Nathan immediately stood, revealing himself to be clad only in his boxers. Haley wrapped the sheet tighter around her body and forced herself not to look at Jake.

"What is it?" she asked, as Nathan frowned at the tabloid.

"Oh, somehow they found out about us. Theories. About how you're pregnant. About how we got married in LA when we went to see Hayden. Nothing special," he said.

Haley turned pale almost instantly. Taylor had taken the money and informed their parents, but there were many others who knew nothing.

"Seamus will come today," she said. Nathan looked at her and frowned.

"You still haven't told him?" asked Nathan in annoyance.

"Still trying to come up with a plausible reason for it," she said in disgust. Jake subtly left and shut the door behind him as Haley rose, the sheet still around her.

"What are you hiding from? He's gone," said Nathan suggestively.

"God, get your mind out of the gutter. I have to go call-," Haley was cut off by Nathan's urgent, passionate kiss.

"You're not calling anyone," said Nathan, gently removing the sheet from her and falling onto the bed with her underneath him.

After some not so gentle persuasion, Haley managed to convince Nathan to go in to the office for the day instead of waiting around to gloat to Seamus. Haley decided it would be hard enough to explain without her husband taunting him about his "victory".

Husband. After almost a week, it still sounded weird.

Nathan went reluctantly to the office, not daring to trust that Seamus would be entirely gentlemanly in his absence. He wanted to trust Haley, but he couldn't.

Once he was at the office, he shut himself up in his office and didn't answer even his secretary's calls. His memories were attacking him, more viciously than ever before.

FLASHBACK

NAthan glanced sideways at Haley in the limo, attempting to appear neutral. Attempting to appear as if he hadn't been eagerly anticipating this day for two years.

He put on sunglasses before helping her out of the car, hoping no one would notice Nathan Scott, the city's most eligible bachelor,entering a downtown church to get married.

Nathan stared at Haley as they waited outside the chapel. She was wearing a white skirt and a camisole with a light jacket over top. She looked beautiful. Innocent. Virginal. Nathan couldn't help but smile the smirk that crept onto his lips.

"We're ready for you now," said the reverend, coming out of the chapel. Nathan abruptly stood and tugged Haley toward it. For a moment she frowned in resentment, but her face quickly cleared.

The three of them gathered at the head of the church. Jake and Ryan had arrived to witness, but they sat far back and didn't witness the scene.

"Have you prepared your own vows?" asked the reverend.

"No," said Nathan softly, looking sideways at Haley. How could he have possibly written down his feelings for her, when he couldn't even begin to understand them? Even if he had been able, how could he possibly do it, and risk scaring her away?

"Then please repeat after me. I, Nathan, take you Haley, as a sign of my love and affection."

Nathan didn't hesitate to repeat the vow. It had always been how he'd felt. Always.

"For richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness, and in health."

They'd have their worse, they'd have their better. They'd have their sickness, they'd have their health. They'd probably never be poorer.

"To love, honour and cherish, as long as we both shall live."

This line he spoke from the heart. He'd always loved her. He'd made the mistake of not cherishing her only once. He never would again.

Nathan stared, enraptured, as Haley spoke the same vows. Deep down, he knew that she didn't truly mean them.

"Will you, Nathan Scott, take Haley James to be your lawfully wedded wife?" he asked.

"I will," said Nathan. Of course he would. He would have, that first day in the country club.Taking her cold hand in his, he slid the ring on her ring finger.

"Will you, Haley Elise James, take Nathan Scott to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Nathan held his breath. She'd signed the prenup, but he couldn't force her. This step was hers alone.

"I will." She looked up and met Nathan's eyes.

"Then, with the giving and receiving of rings, in the name of the Father, the son and the Holy Spirit, I pronounce you husband and wife. Nathan, you may now kiss your bride." The reverend waited expectantly. Guiltily, Nathan thought of how poorly he'd handled their kiss in the dining room. He would have taken her right there on his table.

Slowly, he reached out to take her hands. Gently he pulled her toward him and lowered her lips to his.

After a lengthy conversation with Brooke, most of which consisted of admiring the dozen pictures of her son that Haley had been sent over the last few days, Haley heard a knocking on the door. Almost relieved to have it over with, she ran out to answer it.

"What the hell, Haley?" said a voice immediately. Haley frowned guiltily when she caught sight of Seamus on the other end of the door.

"Are you going to give me a chance to explain?" she asked.

"Are you pregnant?" he asked, stepping in. Pulling her hand back, she slapped him.

"Sorry. Not really the time for that. And by the way, do you want to come in?" she asked sarcastically, after he'd stepped through the door into the marble hallway.

"I'm sorry, I don't think you get to be sarcastic right now. You're married?" he said in amazement. She shrugged uncomfortably.

"It just happened. I didn't know how to tell you. I'm sorry," she said empathetically.

"You're sorry. God, I always knew you never got over him. I guess it's my fault, for getting involved with a girl who dated a Scott. Beauty, charm and money. What else can compare?" he asked, wildly gesturing around the elaborate hall. Once again, she frowned.

"It's not like that. Nathan and I have gone through a lot together. We just… have a thing," she said lamely.

"Then what was the point of those two years?" he demanded. Behind him, the door opened. Nathan entered, looking immediately to Seamus before his eyes landed on his wife.

"Hey," he said, his eyes following Seamus until he reached Haley and tilted her chin upward to brush a kiss on to her lips. Seamus looked away in disgust.

"Nathan, can you give us a minute?" she asked wearily.

"Why?" asked Nathan in surprise.

"For God's sake Nathan, you got me. I'm married to you. Now would you please go somewhere else for thirty seconds?" she snapped. Over her head, Seamus smirked at Nathan. As Nathan walked off, Haley looked up and caught his smirk.

"Oh, shut up," she said in disgust, planting a hand on her denim clad hip and giving him a glare.

Seamus waited until Nathan had left the room to speak again.

"Can I punch him?" he asked. Haley laughed wearily.

"What on Earth could that possible solve?" she asked.

"How about I try it and let you know?" suggested Seamus.

"I'd strongly suggest you don't," laughed Haley.

"Why'd you do it, Haley? Are you in love with him?" asked Seamus.

"Of course," said Haley, looking down at the floor. Seamus interpreted this gesture as a desperate attempt to hurt him less, and not as a way to tell a plausible lie.

"There's nothing I can do to change your mind, is there?" he asked. Haley looked up into his eyes, the eyes of the man that had been her rock, her everything, for two years.

"I'm sorry, Seamus. I'm so sorry I hurt you," she said. He almost smiled as he leaned forward to kiss the top of her head.

"Are you really? You're happy. It's what counts," he said. Slowly he backed out the door.

"You can come out now," said Haley. Nathan emerged from one of the doors.

"That's my competition?" he asked. Haley smiled.

"Not so much anymore," admitted Haley.

"He looks kind of like Jake," he said. Haley turned and walked toward him. Fitting herself into his arms, she put her own around his neck.

"Apparently, not my type," she said, leaning up to kiss him.

As Nathan lifted her into his arms and walked in the direction of the staircase, he reflected that it was a start. But it was far, far from all he desired.

When Haley's breathing began to slow down, and she relaxed in his arms, Nathan reasoned that she was finally asleep. He kissed her hair and tightened his hold on her, daring only to show the true lengths of his affection under the cover of night.

His first viewing of her ex had scared him to the core. Seeing Seamus somehow made him more real, made the fact that there was someone else who'd been with her longer more painful. Gave him the undeniable knowledge that he wasn't the only man that loved the woman in his arms.

He forced himself to remember that she was in his arms, his bed. Not Seamus'. After two years Seamus hadn't had Haley in the way Nathan had, and it had only taken Nathan a night.

It wasn't everything, but it was a start.

"Are you awake?" she whispered, startling him out of his reverie.

"Yeah."

"We forgot to use protection," she murmured.

"I'm not diseased, Hales," said Nathan.

At this point, Haley seemed to fall back asleep. Nathan smiled in the darkness. He knew what she'd been talking about. He'd thought of the same thing, every time they'd done it without taking measures. Which was every time.

Looking down at her, he wondered afresh over the impact she'd had on his life. Before her, there had been Davis. After her, there had been April. And Sabrina, and Leanna, and Danielle. So many girls in a city that still managed to perceive him as homosexual. And then there was Haley. Innocent, beautiful, childlike Haley.

Haley, who was no longer a child, and no longer innocent.