Souls Disappear in the Snow

by Masamune Reforged

They crashland in the Artic. An unforgiving winter traps them relationships strain, tempers flare, old bonds are broken and new emotions boil to the surface. All too soon they become aware of something dark and sinister around, and perhaps inside, them.

6. 5 Overwhelm

Souls Disappear in the Snow- GW fanfic
Masamune Reforged '06

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of the characters therein.
Warnings: yaoi (established 3x4, developing 1x2 and...), angst, violence, supernatural, cursing, death?
Archive: Anyone that wishes to archive this fic is welcome to.
Comments: to After crashlanding in the Arctic, the pilots take shelter in an old, empty mansion. Tensions and tempers begin to rise. In an effort to establish contact with the outside world, Duo leads them on an expedition into the tundra. A blizzard picks up; forcing them to head back to their shelter and Wufei is mysteriously blinded in his left eye.

Part 5- Overwhelm

Vision in my left eye did not return. Both Heero, Trowa and Quatre examined it on the night of the failed expedition. Nothing could explain it. Despite the event that I could swear had happened out in the tundra, no direct damage had been done to my eye at all. It even moved and blinked in tandem to my good one. Nonetheless, I was still distraught and disturbed by the event, and hid what I had heard from the others. There was no way they'd believe me. I certainly would never accept such a preposterous claim. The best I could do, I resolved, was to go about as if everything were fine and well.

Duo made us all swear that we would make another attempt to reach civilization, if there was any in this forsaken waste, as soon as the weather cleared. He predicted we'd be back on the front line, where we belonged, in no more than a week's time. Jack Frost had other ideas.

The storm did not let up. For almost four days the demonic cold spell rattled the timbers and rapped at the windows of the mansion as a monstrous wind pelted ever-growing flakes at the ancient foundation. On the fifth day, just before sunset, there was finally a lull in the storm. Duo was crestfallen, however, as the accumulation now reached the second story, so that by exiting through the windows on that floor, could enter and exit as though onto an eternally raised ivory balcony. Unfortunately, the still fluffy powder would not support any of our weights, as Duo himself found out first hand. On his first step he sunk chest-deep into the white dunes. The more he fought, ostensibly hellbent on departing from the mansion forever, the deeper he sunk into the cold heap. After pulling him out, we collectively reasoned that floundering about in the elements was a sure way to get ourselves killed.

We needed a plan of escape. But where would we find it? Out in the unknown, with no knowledge of the region or even an initial sense of direction we had to find a saving grace somewhere in the abandoned mansion to guide us away from it. Such was the Gordian knot presented before us, this time, wearing ring mail that no Macedonian sword could simply cut.

- - - - -

Time's passing is a strange thing. One cannot properly comprehend how much has been lost without giving up more of it. One morning I woke up and realized it had been one solid month since we crashlanded in the desolate Arctic. I marveled at the speed with which time had whirled by. I was able to walk around on my bad leg with only a slight limp. I groaned and looked around my room with my good eye.

The scenery had ceased to hold my attention as it originally had when we'd found the old mansion. Although I still found myself aimlessly roaming the halls from time to time, I had grown used to the drafty castle. Everything became commonplace, normal. My bare, dreary room became comfortable and the dull, repetitive routine I went through every day no longer made me angry or frustrated. I thought that if it hadn't been so far removed from the rest of the world, the mansion would be a fairly nice place to live.

The others didn't seem to share my opinion.

Heero was unable to sleep in the house. My guess was as good as anyone else's as to what was the exact reason why he was unable to catch more than two hours of sleep at a time. We had all grown used to the generator's humming. We had blocked out the howling snowstorms outside our windows. We had adapted to the bitter cold in the rooms and the creaky, drawn out groans the wood would make. Why Heero couldn't do this was beyond me. He had abandoned his room early on, choosing to sleep on a gigantic rug in the main hall. I certainly found this a bizarre thing for the normally collected and stoic Yuy to do, but nobody ever commented on the ridiculously deep circles under his eyes or the way he would drift into half-sleep in mid-conversation.

Just as Heero was locked into wakefulness and vigilance, Quatre and Trowa were entrenched in a private little tiff. I understood that every couple has rough times, and I dismissed this as such. But even still, their black feelings towards the other grew. While I was not around to witness much of it, things got so bad that for a few nights Trowa slept in a separate room. As far as I could tell they never fought over one particular subject. Scattered and random, I concluded that their inherent differences were the battle's cause. As the days went on, the two adjusted to the other, so as to avoid conflict and bite back stinging remarks. Quatre talked less, not wanting to anger Trowa with his "whining". Trowa became more vocal, always using a stiff, forced form of kindness towards his blonde counterpart, when not showing open disdain. The fights decreased, but the situation was not improving. If anything, it was slowly getting worse and worse.

Duo… I really didn't know what the hell was going on with Duo. I don't mean to say that he had turned into a giant insect or anything like that. In fact, the only real differences I noticed in Duo was that he had become very edgy, emotional. But the American stuffed down his troubles, keeping the motor mouth turned down to the lowest level I had ever seen. Heero was grateful for Duo's faded enthusiasm, and the two were getting along better than ever. The endless flirtation between the two also seemed to disappear. It seemed like they would manage to be just friends. I should have known that true character and strong emotion, no matter how buried or subdued under masks, always find a crack to break out through.

- - - - -

It was another day, identical to every other that we had gone through since first arriving. Still pushing sleep from my eyes, I was limping down one of the poorly lit corridors when I heard laughter emanating from one of the doors, bouncing off the wooden walls and echoing ominously. I straightened up, feeling both alert and uneasy. I had woken in the darkness of the day and the weird pain in my chest that I had woken up with seemed to be a premonition of some sorts. I must have slept the wrong way.

My worries were stayed strong in my mind as I moved from door to door in search of the source. A similar but even more sinister chuckle broke out from behind one of the doors. I walked over towards it, remembering that it had always been locked on my sojourns through the castle. My hand closed around the cold yellow knob, and it turned easily in my hand, door clicking open.

"What are you doing Wufei?"

I spun around, slamming the door with all my might as my heart leaped up in my throat. The cracking clamor the door made, being roughly thrown into the frame, shook my ears, mounted fear set off by the sudden startle. My cheeks flushed crimson red and my mouth opened to hurl curses and threats, but something stopped me. I froze, immobile, stuck, as I could only suppress a scream of anger and frustration and evilly eye Duo.

"Sorry Fei-man," He chuckled, half heartedly concealing his smile behind the black trim of the sweater he was wearing. I felt like an absolute fool. I was jumping ten feet in the air like a timid, little, mousy woman all over some stupid nothing. Duo began to laugh more freely as I stood up and glared at him. "Guess I gave you a little bit of a fright." Duo laughed as he spoke, and for some reason, I burst into laughter with him.

Duo began to laugh uncontrollably, his long brown hair swirling around as his body convulsed in the throes of amusement. He brought his hand away from his mouth, and the clear sound of his chuckles became louder, echoing off the mansion walls. I began to laugh louder, and earned a curious glance from Shinigami's violet eyes. Still, Duo went on laughing, a strange sense washing over me as time trickled by and Duo seemed no closer to the end of his fit. Uncomfortably, I continued to laugh along with him, although my chuckles soon sounded hollow and fake.

Finally, we both stopped, everything around us falling silent. I suddenly felt drained of life. I straightened myself up, gathering my composure. Duo turned back to the library door he had emerged from, and the feeling that something was seriously wrong ate further into my mind. Duo was standing too upright, rigid. His back might have felt like that of a wooden mannequin, throwing off a fake image of elegance. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I didn't have the chance as he softly spoke first:

"Do me a favor Fei-man?" His question was sincere, but his voice still a cover. "I'll be in here for a little while longer, don't wait up for me at breakfast. Tell Quatre to throw mine in the fridge or whatever."

With that, he began to walk away, his steps falling heavily on the creaky wood floor. I almost turned to leave. I almost decided that I didn't care what was bugging Duo. I almost didn't feel the rise of desire to be by his side so that I might comfort him. But the memories of his always helping me came back, strongly replaying in my mind. When he gave me his hand and pulled me up from the pit, when he took me seriously about my blind eye, neither calling me crazy nor leaving me to fend for myself, the two things I would have probably done to him…

And suddenly I did have a small desire to have him by my side, to return all that he had given me.

But, that desire grew. By the time Duo reached the large, extremely comfortable looking chair opposite the library door where I was lingering, it had risen like a crescendo, shaking everything inside of me with its roar. Surprised that I had not left yet, Duo's gazed at me questioningly. He did have an answer, one that I didn't expect. I walked over to the red, satin chair just as he sat down in it, his dazzling purple eyes never leaving my face.

"What's wrong Duo?" I began, my lips suddenly very dry, even after having a drink of water upon waking. He looked away, trying to end the conversation. "You've been acting strange for some time now." He still didn't look at me, or give any response. I wanted to kick myself for my words immediately. Calling him strange? That would never do…

"What do you care?" He tried to brush me off. The facade was slipping.

I reached out, my hand almost trembling as I gently put it on his shoulder. "I do care Duo, even if I don't always act that way. You've been there for me a lot. I want to help you too, however I can."

I paused, surprised at my own words, but not as surprised as when I suddenly reached out, my fingers brushing against the nape of his neck, a chill raking my spine as I felt the smooth, soft, white flesh. He turned to me, the beauty radiating from every feature in his face. I whispered, "You are very important to me."

"Wufei." The word slid out of Duo's mouth, landing on my ears like a graceful, elegant bird.

I couldn't tell you what I was feeling. I had never felt these feelings for another male in my life; and suddenly behaving like this would normally have caused me to pinch myself to wake up from what had to be some strange dream. Had I ever dreamt this before? Was it just something about Duo? He certainly was beautiful, that much, anyone with eyes to see could tell. No. I had met many good looking men in my time, never afflicted by this kind of firecracker result. I was straight…right?

I tossed all concerns and questions away in an instant. Only two thoughts remained in my head. I wanted to help Duo whatever way I could, and another, more personal thought. This being considered, my next few words seemed ridiculous and horrified me, even as I spoke them:

"It's because Heero doesn't return your feelings, isn't it?"

Duo's eyes opened wide. I felt the muscles in his shoulders and neck gather in tense energy as he stood up, out of the satin chair. As he came to within a few inches of my face, he shouted, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What kind of question is that? I ought to rip your smirking head off your shoulders and ram it up your ass, right next to that fucking stick that's always lodged in there!"

"Shh, calm down," I remained calm, his reaction earning nothing from me but a slight smile. He had just snapped on me, his mood thrown out of whack by the surprise question. "We both know certain things to be true …so…."

"How do you know what I feel!" Duo shouted, flinging his arms around in wild gestures that came close to clobbering me. "What the HELL do you think you know about Heero, or me? Shit. To hell with you!"

"Duo, please," I tried to calm him down. I wouldn't want anyone hearing us.

"Fuck you!" He spat the words at me, breaking his gaze from mine at the very same moment. His cheeks were flushed. His fingers balled in tight fists. His eyes burned with love, love for a person that did not love him back. And that's why his whole body shook, why his sorrow poured out of all his movements, why he shouldn't be upset with me, but with Heero. "You're the worst kind of bastard, saying dumb shit like that!" But, I guess he had to be angry with someone... and I had sort of asked for it… "You always act like you know what's right and what others should do but-"

The braided beauty in front of me kept rambling on, but I cut him off, gently placing my hands on both of his shoulders. I tried to make him look me in the eyes. He wouldn't. Speaking slowly and hoping I would convey to him how serious I was, I said:

"Duo, I know that you're going through something unpleasant. Maybe I don't know what it is. But I do want to help you anyway I might be able to. I'm here for you. Don't forget that. Don't run away from me." I gave his shoulders a soft squeeze. The emotional youth made eye contact with me; sad, lonely eyes. "All I want is for you to be happy. I'll always be looking out for you."

Duo licked his lips as his eyes stayed locked with mine. Black and violet; a nice combination. I thought back to a few days ago, when I had looked into his eyes just after losing vision in my left. There had been something in those eyes, a part of Duo I had never noticed before. After finally touching it though, I began to find little signs of it in everything he did. How he walked, laughed, cursed, smiled… As hard as he tried to hide it, I had caught a small glimpse of his real self. It wasn't the person who always made jokes, it wasn't the person who raved about being Shinigami, it wasn't the happy-go-lucky idiot; it was the person pretending to be those things. After seeing it I knew where the origin of my attraction had swelled up from, and I wanted to find that part of Duo again.

So I kept looking into his stunning amethyst depths, as if to absorb everything inside him. He looked back at me, heads gravitating slightly towards each other's. Duo's orchid orbs were more open, more beautiful than even before. I peered, as if tumbling head over heels, down down into them. He was lonely too, just like I was. He too was tired of fighting without seeing any real fruit from our struggles. He put on a brave face and kept a fresh clip of jokes in a pocket on his paper-thin bulletproof vest. He-

In a flash, I thought I saw something alien, something I'd never had any indication of before. I kept myself from shivering, but not from taking a small step backwards. What was it that I saw through those eyes? My mistake already involuntarily made, I tried to pull him to me, but his arms locked up, and he began to move away.

My arms slipped back to my sides. We remained silent in each other's faces, Duo looking at me with a scrutinizing glare that made me avert my eyes from his. He had not wanted me to see that much… I felt incredibly uncomfortable, yet all I wanted was to move closer to him and wrap my arms around him. I felt lightheaded.

Then he whirled away, picking up his book and fleeing the room rapidly, leaving me with my thoughts.

- - - - -

It took me a very long time to figure out was really going on with Duo. I simply assumed he was upset over some stupid fight he and Heero had had. After lunch, I gave into my curiosity and sought out Heero to ask him what was going on, and if he had anything to do with the Deathscythe pilot's awkward behavior. I received a death glare and then found myself trapped into a day of backbreaking labor in the stuffy basement, helping Heero and Trowa sort through loads of junk. Heero hoped to find some way out of the old mansion. Trowa had recommended that one of the endless storage rooms might hold something of use.

I failed to give any real thought about my interaction with Duo until later that evening. Quatre forced us to stop our futile scavenger hunt just before dinner. Trowa growled angrily at the poor blonde, whose chipper attitude was instantly shattered when he saw his tall lover's negative reaction. Both Heero and the Heavyarms pilot obviously felt that eating was no real priority compared with finding a way to escape the Arctic prison.

- - - - -

I was grateful to leave the overwhelming heat of the basement, but Trowa seemed to take the generator's stifling smolder with him. And he let off all the steam on Quatre. Tired and frustrated from an unavailing, draining effort, the Heavyarms pilot was a blot of heated darkness towards his formerly 'lovey-dovey' partner. They had been fighting frequently, true. But that night, Trowa treated his counterpart with such disdain that I had trouble eating dinner, unable to tear my eyes away from the shattered Arab as he struggled to keep himself composed.

The most interesting part of all this was that Trowa did it without saying more than five words. In fact, I sensed that Trowa's quiet was a weapon for him, a way to really dig into Quatre. Quatre always tried to be the hopeful one in the group, insisting on making conversation just for the sake of us all interacting together. But, every time Quatre began to tell a story or even ask a polite question about passing the salt, Trowa would flash him the most disapproving stare I had ever seen the Latin youth muster. Expressing disapproval and irritation with only a slight narrowing of his eyes and a pained grimace, Trowa effectively silenced Quatre for the entire evening.

With both Duo and Quatre quiet during dinner, the only sounds where those of chewing and utensils clanking. The hum of the generator sounded louder and louder to my ears as every second of the dead mute hung over the five of us.

"So," Heero's voice surprisingly ended the silence, "What were you up to all day Duo? We could have used your help downstairs you know."

Duo's cheeks flushed bright red. He took a deep breath as if preparing to reply, but I was faster, "Hmph! Come on Heero, leave him alone. It's not like we got anything out of it. Whatever he did was probably more worthwhile."

The Prussian blue eyes shot me another threatening glare and Heero opened his mouth to let out a retort, but my comment had caught him off guard. Right then I had no fear of the Wing pilot and easily met his gaze, knowing he wouldn't say anything in reply. I was finding it effortless to meet people's glances, even with my one blind eye. Actually, I believe my handicap was a slight advantage for me, unnerving Heero's potential response.

Heero said nothing, promptly cleared his plate. He exited the kitchen, tromping down the creaky steps back into the basement. A second later, a clank announced Duo's completion of dinner. He put his dishes in the sink. He still did not utter a sound as he left, but his eyes caught mine for a moment. The violet shimmered as if grateful, but still confused.

I lost my appetite as my thoughts turned inward. Duo had looked at me in somewhat of a glazed stupor, like one unsure of what reasons lay beneath his own reaction. It catalyzed me into deeply questioning myself and my recent actions. Why was I sticking my neck out into the middle of Duo and Heero's matters? Why did I care so much about their bitter relationship? Was I falling into the middle of their battle, that I had watched from the side for so long? Had I been finally sucked into it? Why? By my feelings for Duo? The lame answer was: because Duo was a fellow Gundam pilot. I was just being a friend…yeah…right… I knew there was more to it, I just had to sort through my jumbled feelings to find it.

- - - - -

I was still turning those questions over in my mind later that night. The five of us had fallen into a pattern that we followed almost everyday; gathering in one of the gargantuan common chambers on the mansion's first floor. Out of all the elaborate and gaudy rooms in the house, we had taken a liking to one in particular, which Quatre had dubbed the Hunt Room.

Not unlike the other large rooms in the house, the floor, walls and ceiling were entirely paneled woodwork, with ceiling supports made of trees as thick around as cars. The fireplace in the Hunt Room was the largest in the house, reaching up to half the height of the chamber. This grand, masterful brickwork not only made the Hunt Room the warmest. It also jutted out from the wall so as to hold the main decoration of the room atop it, a 14 foot high, stuffed polar bear. The species had gone extinct long ago, but this one last mammoth beast stood up on its two back legs, looming over the room like a crystal king. It was alone on the far wall of the Hunt Room, but was accompanied by antlers, skins, and other stuffed animals mounted high on the others, accenting the rusticity of the room. I noticed that all the musket racks had been ransacked, and some mantles were stripped of their showpiece. The wood floor was barely visible beneath the many fur rugs that lay across it; most with their mouths wide open. Unfortunately, the wear of time had stained and tore many of the rugs, their magnificence marred by brown splotches, by holes and tears. I had never been a fan of hunting. It had become like dishonorable child's play hundreds of years ago. But this room was quickly becoming my favorite in the mansion.

And that's where we were gathered. Trowa and Heero sat on a black bear skin rug, feverishly tinkering with a radio-like device they had found in the basement after dinner. Duo was sprawled out on a huge, cushy green couch, reading a huge book on religion. The wind outside was howling, as we had never heard it before. Quatre was still looking miserable, but was besting me for the third straight time that night in chess.

I lost the first chess match because my mind was a jumble. I was unable to concentrate on anything outside of my own mind. Quatre defeated me in such a short time that I almost lost my temper. I forced myself to focus on the second match, sweeping across the board and delighting in the revenge. Halfway through, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Duo put down his book, yawn and look around the room. He picked up the book again. I barely paid any attention to it the first time, but by the ninth and tenth time he repeated this I was wondering what his problem was.

Duo never stayed quiet this long! God only knew what he normally did when he became bored. But he didn't zip around or pester anyone. He just sat still and tried to read. Quatre had his back turned to Duo, but I could see perfectly how agitated the braided Shinigami was. Soon he was writhing around in his seat. I could see him trying to keep still, trying to read his book, trying not to look over at Heero. It scared me. Whatever was causing him so much torment must have been a force beyond reckoning.

Thus I was distracted and again lost the match to Quatre. I started a third just to stay there longer, to examine Duo further. I began to try to piece together what his problem might be, why he would be acting so strangely. Why hadn't I given it more thought? He had been acting nothing like himself since we had crash landed. Was it cabin fever? What role did Heero play in all of it? My brain felt like it would short circuit over pondering what the cause of Duo's pain was. I had to know what hunger was consuming him and had decided to ask him in the morning when Quatre looked up at me and said:

"Checkmate."

My eyes flashed from Duo, to the grinning blonde, to the chess board. Impossible! Not already!

"That's not checkmate," I said, clearing my throat. Quatre screwed up his face, looking at the board. "See?" I continued, "If I do this," I picked up my King, "then-"

BANG!

The great thud resounded off the walls. My chess piece fell to the floor with a clank that was almost impossible to hear. Quatre nearly jumped out of his skin, craning his neck around to see what Heero, Trowa and I were already looking at.

"I fucking can't take this anymore!" Duo screamed in agony as he looked around the room with insane eyes. "It's too much goddamnit and I can't take anymore!"

His alabaster cheeks were fully flushed a deep wine color. His hands were buried in his thick hair, knuckles white as he gripped his brown length in demented savagery. In his eyes throbbed an intense reflection of helplessness, suffering and anger. I was stunned, but nothing compared to Heero, who was still crouched over the radio. Heero looked like he had just been told he'd have to marry Relena Peacecraft: scared out of his mind. Duo shut his eyes, deep pain visible on his face. He hunched over slightly; strands of hair fell over his face, accenting his unsettling appearance.

Quatre was already on his feet, approaching Duo. In the brief silence he asked, voice shaky "Duo? Wha-"

"AHHH!" A howl of unintelligible, sheer fury burst out of Duo as he picked up his book and threw it to the floor. Quatre backed away immediately to Trowa's side. Outside the wind picked up even more, threatening to drown out the shout. "Fucking going to die!" Duo dropped his hands to his side, his eyes snapping wide open. "Die in this house! I can't take anymore trapped in this HELL!"

"Duo cut it out!" Heero finally stood up, screaming at Duo. A desperate, afraid waver sucked the power from his command. Duo didn't even glance in his direction, but kept on, his yells turning into rambling.

"I hate this place! I hate it!" Duo's voice screeched even louder, and he stomped on the floor, crushing his fallen book underfoot. "I hate the snow! Fucker god! I can't take being trapped like this anymore!" The stomping kept up, Duo's boot shaking the floor on every other syllable. The book on Catholicism was ripping into a million pieces.

Definitely cabin fever, I thought to myself. Heero began moving towards Duo, despite the violent rage burning in his comrade. "Duo. Stop!" Heero raised his voice, but it still did nothing. It was barely audible over the furor of the storm outside. It was nothing to Duo's rabid energy.

"The war," Duo's voice suddenly dropped. As I looked at him, he seemed to realize how inappropriately he was acting, like one sensing some order in the chaos ripping him apart. But the monstrous calamity inside of him quickly buried this semblance of tranquility. He clenched his jaw even more, and was soon shouting again, with more fervor and energy than before, "What about the war? We're supposed to be killing OZ but instead we're fucked up here! I can't stand it! Who will fight in my place? Who's going to bring swift oblivion to all those godless bastards? Not me! Not Duo Maxwell, not Shinigami!" He began to chuckle, an even more unnerving sound filling the room. "Shingami can't be Shinigami without death!"

I was clueless. Was this just insane rambling? What was Duo trying to get at? Surely he didn't take that Shinigami nonsense seriously? Still, he was very upset about our absence from the war for the Colonies. Duo was shaking now, body swinging back and forth on his feet. Most of the color had drained from his face, leaving him white like the snow covering the windows. Trowa was holding Quatre's hand, the shorter boy cringing while witnessing his friend in such horrible pain. Heero was still yelling for Duo to get a grip, but the storm outside drowned him out.

"We need to get out of here!" Duo turned to me suddenly. "Right Wufei? We have to get away. Away... I have to get back to the war. Nothing but fucking snow here."

Heero walked right up to the raving Deathscythe pilot. Duo turned away, as I gave no reply. He looked even more disheveled, posture bent, violet eyes awash in torture, breath ragged. He looked at Heero, who stopped a mere foot from Duo.

Heero's arm shot out, connecting with a crack like thunder. Heero didn't just slap the braided boy upside the head; he punched him with all his might. Duo fell down with a crash, one of the rugs breaking his fall as he flew back from Heero. I blinked. Everything was silent. Sudden anger overran me as I saw that Duo was bleeding. I made to scold Heero for striking so hard, but the Japanese killer began to yell:

"So we're stuck here. SO WHAT!" Heero was as loud as Duo had been, but was more calm and collected. "We can't just bitch about it! That sure as hell won't work." The sturdy Yuy stood over Duo, dark navy blue eyes flickering with passion. "Yes, there's still a war. No, you can't fight it from here. But you can't ever be a part of it if you go crazy out here."

The wind was gone. It had just settled down for a short while. It would be back. The popping and cracking noise from the fireplace was now the loudest sounds as Heero stopped, turning his back on the fallen American. Trowa shook his head, expression undecipherable. Quatre ran from his side, cradling Duo's head in his arms when he reached the bleeding boy, still too stunned and dazed to move.

Heero went on, "We shouldn't be just sitting around here doing nothing, or we'll all go crazy. If you want out of here so badly, I suggest you start helping us look for a way instead of sight seeing around the haunted fucking house." Heero ended in disgust, obviously addressing me as well as Duo.

I started laughing, catching everyone off guard. Heero glared at me darkly.

"Words only carry progress if they lead to successful action," I stated coolly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Heero spat back, meeting my gaze with fiery anger.

"It means that we need to start looking for pertinent information as to how to get out of here, not just rummaging desperately like scavengers," I said, assuredly. "Picking through all this useless junk is as helpful as watching the snow pile up. We can't leave through a locked exit door."

Heero hated it when I spoke in metaphor. He was absolutely furious with me now. I wasn't about to give up any ground. Luckily, Quatre stepped in between us, "We are trying. We all want to get back to fighting for the Colonies. It's easy to say all that Wufei, but how are you so sure we won't find anything helpful?"

"Why would that radio be buried under tons of crap if it was the only possible link to the outside world?" I asked in response, pointing to the heap of metal that had been uncovered from the storage rooms. "Because it obviously was a piece of trash to those before us. How is it supposed to help us? It won't. That goes for just about everything down in that mess."

"You're just assuming," Heero snapped. "I might be able to fix it. Your pessimism isn't helping, and it's pissing me off! We may find something..."

"If there was something to find, the people before us would have found it and gone away with it. That, or they would have left it in a place where it could help others. And if you didn't figure it out, we're not the first people to be trapped here. Lots of them died."

It was the first time anyone here had said it aloud, but we all felt it to be true. True, there were no corpses, no sign of death aside from the snow covered gravestones, but we all knew it was the case. I had felt it in my heart since early on, that we were in a situation many before us had been overwhelmed by.

Quatre, still holding Duo, asked, "What do you suggest?"

I smiled, amused and shrugged; "The exit isn't inside the mansion."

Trowa finished my thought for me, "Get out. We should seek outside help."

I nodded, "But even that's not so easy. We all nearly died out there. Don't forget that. The weather is brutal and unpredicatable. We have no clue where we are. We don't know how far away or in what direction we need to head."

"Sounds like you've already given up," Heero spat at me, venom dripping off his words. He was trying to bait me into a fight. …I wasn't going to give him what he wanted.

"I'm not," I bit back my anger and my pride. "I'm not the fool blindly denying how bad our situation actually is. We've all been carrying on like this is some kind of vacation. This could be our coffin."

Duo had finally stood up, holding a tissue that Quatre had fetched to his bloody face. The Arab was kneeling down over the remains of Duo's tattered book, carefully picking up the loose pages. Duo spoke calmly, although his voice was weak and muffled, "We have to risk it out in the wild again. Even if it's a shot in the dark I don't care. I'll keep blasting away until I run out of bullets!"

There was no reasoning with illogical sentiments like that... I sat down, shaking my head. "And who says we'll be any luckier than before? Perhaps it'll be even worse. You saw how impossible it was to move with all that snow built up. Even if we knew which direction to head in, which we don't, we're not properly equipped."

All was silent, everyone grim. Heero shook his fist at me and said with adamant determination, "I don't like how you've been acting. I'm not the one waiting for a miracle to fall from the sky, you are! I'll go fiddle with useless crap, which has more hope in it than some wimp who just wants to give up. If-"

Quatre's sudden gasp cut Heero off. The blonde stood up from where he had been piecing together Duo's book and began to speak, his words blurring with Heero's. I heard neither but I did see the tattered parchment in Quatre's hands. It was a map.

-end "Overwhelm" Part 5 in

Souls Disappear in the Snow

Masamune Reforged '06