Disclaimer: I do not own CSI
AN: Thousand thanks to Rhee for beta reading and suggesting the title. You're the best, thank you so much!
WARNING #1: THIS FIC IS BUILT UP ON SPOILERS FOR THE CSI SEASON 6 FINALE. IF YOU WANT TO REMAIN SPOILER-FREE PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER.
Warning #2: fluff
Summary: Sara comforts Grissom after Brass was hurt. (only the fact that Brass gets hurt is a spoiler, none of the described scenes are actual spoilers)
Emotions
He takes a deep breath and inhales the scent of her hair. Her face is leaning against his neck; her lips are pressed against his bearded skin while her nose is nestled against the side of his chin. Her left arm is around his body; her hand is resting on the small of his back. Her other arm is stretched out; her head is slightly leaning on to her shoulder.
His head is lying on her upper arm and while his left arm is somehow lying under her right one; his right arm holds her close to him. He had slipped it through the space between her torso and upper arm and now his upper arm is gently pressing against her shoulders, making it almost impossible for her to pull away - if she even would want to. His hand is buried into her hair and holds her head close to his; from time to time he runs his fingers through it. It's so soft, it feels like silk, perfect chocolate brown silk and its scent reminds him of vanilla.
It had been the right decision to stop by at her place, he knows that now. He had been hesitating whether to go and see her or not; he had feared that she would feel exploited when he would show up because he felt bad and would expect her to comfort him. He knew that she would have had all the right in the world to send him away. He had never really been there for her so he shouldn't expect her to be there for him now. But without even hesitating for half a second she had pulled him into her arms when he had been breaking down in-front of her. She had held him in for half an hour or even longer, he couldn't remember how long it had really been.
Ever since his father's death he hadn't cried in-front of anyone. At first it had really felt weird, but Sara had given him the feeling that it was okay. The certitude that she wouldn't judge him for this had made it so much easier. The way that she'd been holding on to him all the time, the way that she had caressed his back with her hands, the way that her breath had caressed the skin of his neck, everything had been such a huge comfort to him.
At some point he had pulled away from her, not completely, only a bit and he had been able to see the look in her eyes. Love, he had never seen this emotion so clearly before. And never before the need to let her know that he shared her feelings had been as strong as it had been right then. He hadn't been able to speak, even though he had really wanted to tell her those three words that he had suppressed for so long. So he framed her face with his hands, he tried to reflect his feelings in his eyes but he couldn't tell if she had been able to understand it. With shaking hands he slowly dragged her lips to his. He had felt her breath upon his lips and it had sent showers of sensations though his body. He had denied his longings for too long, he needed her, wanted her, adored her, desired her.
And then he had closed the gap between them. Her lips had felt so soft on his, so soft that he couldn't help but run his tongue over them. After a moment she had parted them and he had slipped his tongue into her mouth. After reaching this point he had suddenly gotten nervous, he hadn't kissed for a while. Carefully he had begun to massage her tongue with his.
She had leaned herself into the embrace of his body and had returned his kiss. With her arms she had been clinging on closer to him and had buried her hands into his hair. He had felt her fingertips running over his scalp and for some weird reason it had felt even more intimate than kissing her. He had dreamed of this, he had dreamed of feeling her so close to him and now it had finally happened.
After a while, they pulled away from each other. For a long moment they had just looked into each others eyes before she had leaned her forehead on his shoulder, then he started to let his hands explore her body a little bit. He had only allowed himself to touch her hips and to maybe even slip his fingers under her shirt a little bit; he hadn't expected that she would encourage him to go further.
But when it happened it had felt so incredibly right. He had damned himself for not letting this happen before.
She slowly moves her hand over his back and he opens his eyes. "Good morning," he whispers softly.
"Good morning," she snuggles closer against his chest. "I thought you'd probably would not be here when I wake up." She tells him after a moment of comfortable silence.
This takes him aback, he loosens his grip around her shoulders and turns her on her back, and then he leans over her and lets his eyes meet hers. "Why did you think I would want to leave?"
She shrugs. "I thought that you might..."
"…regret what happened?" He offers as answer and brushes a strand of hair out of her face.
"Maybe," she confesses.
He might have felt hurt by this if he wouldn't know so well that 'leaving' would actually be his usual behavior. "It felt right… I mean, staying here with you… actually everything felt right." Softly he kisses her forehead while he speaks. "Everything."
A soft smile builds up on her lips and she runs her hand over his chest. He snuggles closer against her, not yet willing to leave the bed to get ready for work. Her skin feels like the finest silk, he just can't stop touching her, feeling her, the way it feels when she's breathing - the way her chest moves against his – is another story, it gives him the certainty that all this is real, that she is alive and in his arms and that she is not just a reflection in his dreams. And even though he doesn't know if he is allowed to feel so happy after what had happened to Jim, he is happier than he has ever been before. This new closeness to her, the warmth of her body, the softness of her touch, the loveliness of her kisses – he doesn't want it to end, ever.
"So, what are we going to do now?" She asks after a moment.
"Well, I'd like to brush my teeth… and then I could make breakfast, afterwards…"
She sighs. "That's not what I meant."
He smiles softly and places a quick kiss on her lips. "I know, but that's what's going to happen next," he smirks softly. "I don't know what the protocol says about what we are supposed to do now… I just… maybe we should have dinner together and you know official dates and that stuff…" He sighs. "I better tell you this before you start wondering about my behavior, I have never been in a serious relationship before. I've never been together with the same woman for longer than a week." Waiting for her reaction to this confession he tries to analyze the expression in her eyes.
"That's okay," she answers half whispering and gives him an encouraging smile.
He tries to smile back but it does not really work. He sits up and leans back against the wall. He just remembered that he needs to get back to the hospital, still he can't believe what had happened to Jim. He had never had really good friends, science had been his best friend, his wife and his life. But from the first moment on Jim and himself had been close, almost like brothers. Jim is probably the only person who really knows him.
Now he has to smile when he remembers the fact that Jim somehow always must have known about his feelings for Sara. At the same time it rips him apart that things will never be the same again. Even if Jim will make it through this, no-one can yet say for sure that he will ever completely recover.
Sara also sits up; she's sitting in-front of him and tries to find out what he is thinking. He can easily tell, because she slightly raises her left eyebrow and tilts her head to the right. Then she reaches out for him and gently runs her hand over his chest. "He's a fighter."
He wonders how she could know that he was thinking about Jim, probably she knows him better than he thought she would. But after all, he tells himself, she is the best CSI he ever worked with, she knows how to notice what's going on in other people's minds.
He takes her hand into his and squeezes it softly. "I'm not used to be optimistic."
She skids closer to him and leans her head on his shoulder. "I'll teach you." Then she places several kisses on his neck and lets her lips travel to his.
He twines his arms around her waist and holds her close to him. "You're amazing."
A bright smile builds up on her lips. He loves her smiles; he wants her to smile forever. He buries his hand into her hair and kisses her tenderly. "I love you Sara."
She snuggles against his chest and leans her head on his shoulder again, he feels her lips brushing over his neck and it sends soft shivers down his spine. "I love you, too." She whispers and then slips her arm around his torso.
His heart is literally jumping. How long had he waited for this to happen? How long had he wanted to tell her what he feels for her? How often had he dreamed of her telling him that she loves him? Jim would have been proud of him. No, he had to be optimistic now; Jim will be proud of him when he will learn that he had finally jumped over his shadow and confessed his feelings to Sara. He can't help but smile now.
"Always," Sara speaks while kissing his neck, more mumbling than speaking actually. "…think… positive…"
THE END
Always think positive ;) one day we will hopefully see things like these happen
I hope you liked this fic at least a bit, feel free to tell me what you think of it :) Happy Easter, greets from Cologne, Kristy
