Teehee. Yes, random lady who reviewed (at least I'm assuming you're female...the whole 'fairy' thing and whatnot), this is a thing made between me and aguy who have way too much time on our hands and access to IM'ing systems. Why post it publicly? Because is the perfect place to post this crap. And it was either retarded stuff like this, or Inuyasha yaoi twincest shota. :( Buttsex messed poor Inu-chan up for life, don'tcha know. The internet is for porn and silly fanfics!

STILL IN A GALAXY KINDA REALLY FARISH FROM THIS AREA OF SPACE, BUT CLOSE ENOUGH FOR A QUICK STOP AT THE 7-ELEVEN FOR SLURPEES AND NACHOS

Why isn't the narrator here yet! I can't be left alone with these people! I don't know what the hell I'm dooooing…!

What sidled into view could hardly be called an attractive prospect for a Jedi knight; barely four feet in height, it had lime green fur and black 'panda' markings visible over what parts of the body not concealed by the overly large robes. It sorta looked like the result of a three-way between an ewok, a troll doll, and a can of mountain dew. The fact that it was carrying a six-pack of said soft-drink really didn't help, but then again neither did the stupid grin on its stupid face that made it look even more stupid.

And yes, because I'm the narrator I'm going to throw stupid in here a few more times. STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID!… Yeah, I'm done now… Back to the point!

It turns out Yoda did like the Rodian version of Jack Daniels, and had been all too willing to share, for it was this alcohol that our hero splorched all over the front of his cliché black robes. (Heheh… splorched is a fun word; both to say and to type!).

"What is that… that thing!" To be quite honest, his first instinct was to beat the fuzzy bugger with a rolled up newspaper.

"Your Padawan, it is." Yoda hiccupped, pouring himself another glass from what appeared to be a bottomless supply of booze. By now the prunes face was flushed from the large quantity of liquor he'd consumed while waiting for the critter to show up, and as any good art student knows, red plus green equals the sickest shade of brown you will EVER see. Seriously, it's like cat turd color.

"You've got to be kidding me…"

"This one or a rock shaped like a heart, it was."

"Does it even speak?" Rei suddenly found himself developing an urge to see how far he could kick the wrinkly green bastage of a Jedi Master. His current estimation was 30 yards, more with a tail wind.

"Coffee, it does make." Yoda responded with a shrug, then promptly fell off his chair and began to snore. FYI, tiny people tend to have low tolerances for booze. Especially the Rodian kind.

"…Good enough." The rock probably didn't know how to work a bean-grinder anyways. And you needed opposable digits to fry Bantha bacon. He assumed the green-thing had thumbs.

And so we exit this scene with our anti-hero dragging off his new apprentice, who still has yet to utter a sound and seems quite happy to stuff its face with what appear to be Ruffles All-Dressed potato chips. Mmm, Ruffles…