Chapter Seventy-Five: It Came To Me Then
Haley was surprised the next morning when she woke up cold, only covered by the thin sheet on her bed. Despite their gradually decaying relationship, she'd become used to waking up next to her husband. Often because of their tender love from the night before.
Remembering the night previously, she suddenly realized why they weren't spooning.
She'd been furious with him, she remembered. Somehow, her fury had turned in the most passionate sex they'd ever had.
"Nathan?" she said experimentally.
"You're awake."
"Uh, I guess we should talk?" she said.
"I kind of feel like I had an extra marital affair," he admitted. She smiled.
"No, that was just fully church sanctioned sex," she said. His eyes lingered on the hickey on her neck as hers fell on the nail marks in his chest.
"Sure…"
"Obviously, we can't do that again," she said. They met eyes.
In an instant, Nathan had seized her shoulders and pulled her roughly toward him. For a moment he watched her breath deeply in desire before pushing her back onto the bed and kissing her.
"God, we have a kid. We can't just lose ourselves to… passion like that, whenever we want," said Haley in exasperation.
"Yeah. Because obviously we shouldn't have lives anymore," he said. He relaxed and watched as she hurriedly dressed herself, oddly embarrassed to be seen naked before him.
"Can you occupy Brooke and Lucas? I need to be alone for a while," she said.
"Or I could occupy you. Again." Haley scowled at him.
"Put some ice on it, Nathan," she said, leaving before he could see the flush on her face.
Haley walked rapidly until she reached Nathan's study, the first empty room she could find. Lucas and his family took up all the spare bedrooms she'd come across. She dropped into the leather chair in front of his desk and hugged her knees to her chest.
Every inch of her body ached, from the previous night. Her lips were swollen, her breasts tender. All of her burned for his touch again.
Part of her wanted to run and tell Brooke what had happened, but she knew that she could never make Brooke understand. Despite all Haley had told her, Brooke still believed that Haley and Nathan merely misunderstood each other, and were always moment away from bliss. Haley smiled cynically. Brooke was so idealistic, even as her own "fairy-tale" marriage fell to pieces.
Haley had lost all he optimism, all her faith, three years previously.
As she sat in the study of her silent house, she drifted into a state that was between awake and dreaming…
FLASHBACKHaley stared down at her hands in the limo. Dimly she noticed passers by glance their way with interest. She'd never ridden in a company car before. She wondered how many times she would again.
As Nathan stood on the sidewalk and offered his hand to help her out, she noticed afresh how tall he was, how old he looked. Much to old to be the Nathan she'd once known.
It seemed to be only moments from the time they arrived to the church to the time they were at the alter, about to be married.
"Have you written vows?" asked the reverend. Haley shook her head, but noticed Nathan looking intently at her. She'd wondered what he'd been thinking.
"Repeat after me. I, Nathan take you, Haley…"
Haley listened as Nathan recited his vows. He was a good actor, she had to admit. He seemed to pour feeling into every word he spoke. She suspected that the officiator would be less than appreciative of a couple marrying for their terms.
"I, Haley, take you Nathan as a sign of my love and affection," said Haley automatically. Love. When have they ever been about love? Their relationship had revolved around passion, control, but never around love.
"For richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness, and in health."
Haley repeated his lines dully. She could not remember a time that she'd felt so few emotions besides the mind numbing fear.
"Do you Nathan Scott take Haley James to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I will," said Nathan fervently. For a moment, he almost betrayed himself. He looked apprehensive.
"And do you, Haley Elise James, take Nathan Scott to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
Haley looked up at Nathan. It was her turn. She had to close her end of the deal. She'd already signed her life away, she might as well finish it off.
"I will," she said.
"Then, with the giving and receiving of rings, I pronounce you husband and wife. Nathan, you may kiss your bride."
His bride. His.
Nathan took her hands in his and gently kissed her lips. It was not one of their kissed destined to go too far: it was gentle, loving and unlike any she'd experienced.
It was later in the evening that Nathan discovered her lie. That they consummated their marriage and called out each other's names in desire.
But it wasn't for another few months that she'd come to regret it.
"I haven't seen Haley all day," said Brooke nervously, as she laid down Eve in her crib for a nap.
"I'm sure she's fine. Maybe they had a fight," suggested Lucas.
"Maybe. God, why can't they just be happy?" she said in annoyance.
"To satisfy your quota?" Brooke glared at her husband as he stalked out. Really, he knew her far too well.
Nathan was very concerned the next night when he arrived home to find Lucas, Brooke, all three of their collective children, but no Haley. Apparently, neither of them had seen her all day.
He wandered to his study to call Ryan to ask if she'd seen her, but stopped when he found Haley curled up on the couch. He gently lifted her up and began to carry her upstairs.
Haley didn't awaken even after he took off her clothes and laid her in the bed. Sighing, he leaned down to kiss her forehead and tuck the sheets around her.
Trying to block out what she'd said the previous night about Seamus, he walked out to leave her to sleep.