Disclaimer: Shadow Hearts and all related characters belong to Sacnoth/Nautilius, Aruze.
Dedicated to MikoNoNyte. No reason required. >:)
Shattered Dreams.
London, 1914.
He was sticky with sweat and he longed for nothing more but a warm shower and bed. After buttoning his pants, Yuri reached to pick up his shirt from the chair. Cigarette smoke wafted to his nostrils and he looked back at the woman on the bed while he tugged his shirt on.
Cigarette and gunpowder. He thought amusedly, that's how he'll remember Margarete.
Margarete lay back against the pile of pillows, modestly covering herself with the thin quilt, her golden hair billowed around her softly in a tumbled mass. She blew another puff of smoke then looked at him with those clear, blue eyes that have seen the world. Yuri didn't notice, he was looking around to make sure he left no trace in the hotel room, and he wanted nothing more but his shower and warm bed. God what time is it? Must be 2 in the morning. He thought sleepily.
"Will you ever kiss me sonny boy?" She asked suddenly, halting his steps as he made a move for the door.
He looked back at her, wearing that one arched eyebrow expression that asked if she's high on something. Margarete closed her eyes before they betrayed her emotions and simply gave him one of her cynical smiles. "Go on sonny boy, you heard nothing."
If he knew the truth, it would scare him away. Margarete told herself, but still, it doesn't make it easy to accept. Accept that while he only found her a willing bed partner, that's all she'll ever be to him. Not once, not even the first time had Yuri kissed her. Sure, he somehow made up with his skillful hands, he was wickedly knowledgeable with a woman's body, and he sure knows how to use them to his advantage, she had never had such a skillful lover, and yet at the same time, he was the…most detached.
He was so in control of himself, that not even in passion could she make him lose it. She wanted to linger, to savor the times she have with him while she still could, but he knew how to stoke a woman's passion to fevered heights at such a short time. He didn't want to stay for a moment longer than what was necessary and that hurt the most. She was just a warm female body to him, a body to take care of his sexual needs. Oh, she's using him too, Margarete admitted silently, and he always made sure he leaves her satisfied…at least in the carnal sense. But now she found herself wanting more…
It was folly, she knew. Their liaison had been purely physical from the start, she knew who he really wanted, hadn't he called out her name once? But only once, Yuri never repeated it, in his own way, the ruffian knows some bed etiquette. But, this kind of relationship will take her nowhere, he had made that clear from the start. Margarete felt an odd resentment as she remembered that first time. He wanted to be sure that she understood what she's getting into: No promises, no strings attached. He wanted to make sure she understood that after this journey, and it was time to part ways, their secret meetings would also end.
And then they'd part like intimate strangers, sharing nothing more but a few heated nights.
He didn't love her, and he probably never will. Margarete thought sadly. Though she knew this from the beginning, she was helpless to stop herself from hoping, futile as it is. She loves the scoundrel, but he's too dense to even notice it.
And look at him now, now that he had let off some steam, he was eager to leave her, not even lingering for small talk.
Yuri noticed her pensive mood as he perfunctorily greeted her goodnight, shook his head wondering what that was all about, and then without another word he stepped out of Margarete's room.
Margarete sighed as she turned on her side, tears she had been holding back rolled down her face. Angrily she wiped them away. She was not used in letting herself show such weakness…How long would she treat herself like this? How long would she let herself be used? This got to stop. She's destroying herself by pining away for a man who would only see a warm female body rather than the woman she is. But heaven help her, she wanted to be with him, even for a few stolen moments. She had been the first one to invite him, it took quite a deal of coaxing to get him to her bed, but after that first time—
Suddenly there was distinct sound of glass breaking, the sound was muffled by the room's walls, but there was no mistaking it. But the weight of her unhappiness seemed to lodge permanently in her chest, stealing her strength, her very desire to even move, and with rather empty eyes that saw nothing, Margarete gazed up at the ceiling.
Yuri didn't know why he felt more relieved to be out of her room, but he was. As always, his body felt relaxed, no longer tense with sexual hunger, but an unnamed part of him, a vital and yet not fully known part of him felt…empty. And that gnawing emptiness grew with each time he spent in the bed of another. There was a nagging voice at the back of his head, a small accusing voice. And somehow he felt…unclean.
He shook his head mentally, instead planning the day ahead. They would soon be teleported to that Float…and he needed a clear head.
Yuri had already turned towards his room when he heard glass breaking somewhere near him. Margarete's room was the one nearest to the stair, and the sound came from the ground floor. Curious to know who would be about at this ungodly hour, Yuri looked down the stairs.
In the dim light, he easily made out the faint glisten of silvery white hair. They were unbound and flowing freely down her shoulders as she squatted down at the bottom of the stairs, picking up the slivers of broken glass.
"Alice?" He called softly, but she didn't look up at him as though she didn't hear him descend. Thinking that she was concentrating too much on the mess on the carpeted floor to notice him, Yuri squatted before her and began to pick up the broken pieces.
The sweet, subtle scent of the shampoo she used reached him, and desire stirred uncontrollably despite his sated body. God, woman! He thought fiercely as he closed his eyes for a moment, as though by closing them he could stop the sensual images that flooded his mind. Only Alice was able to bring out the lust in him this devastatingly strong, and all she had to do was breathe!
He longed to pull her into the softest bed he could find and…debauch her in several countless ways so there would be nothing left for another man to lay claim to her. The hell? What was he thinking? There's never going to be another man! He'd kill the first man who'd dare try to even rearrange a strand of her hair. Yuri felt his blood surge at the thought, she is his, and his alone she will remain!
The soft rustle of her nightclothes as she stood up jarred him from his erotic musings. She still has to talk to him, she has not even called his name.
"Alice, you ok?" Yuri asked, becoming more and more confused by her continued silence. Then he saw the stains that marred her snowy white nightgown. Blood.
With a start, Yuri sprang to his feet. The sight of blood is as familiar to him as his right hand, but to see his precious Alice bleeding…it's enough for him to go ballistic!
"You've cut yourself!" He gasped, reaching out to clasp her hand, but she snatched it away before he could touch her.
"I said I'm fine." Alice said in that strange, hollow voice he barely recognized. But she was already turning away, heading back to the kitchen. Yuri followed her, mystified at her strange behavior. What got into her? He thought in bewilderment, she never acts this way…must be her monthlies or something, he thought to himself, trying to make sense of it.
Suddenly the answer dawned on him, and he felt blood rush from his head, making him dizzy. Oh God, did she see him step out of Margarete's room? Alice may be innocent, but she's not that innocent not to know what he did inside that room.
And now what would he tell her? How would he explain himself?
Feeling himself close to panic, he watched her as she silently dumped the broken slivers down the trash bin. He did the same, though later he won't recall doing so. The silence was slicing him into bits, what was she thinking? Lord, he'd rather that she threw herself at him and club him with her book, call him names…or at least cry. Alice seemed coldly detached, and he doesn't know her this way…the thought frightened him even more.
And she ignored his presence completely, as if he no longer existed. Maybe for her, he no longer did, why if he could shed himself like a detested skin he would have done so already…
"Alice." He said again, and he hated the pleading in his voice, he never begs. Yuri Hyuga never begs for anything, but in that moment, he no longer cared.
A/N: Um, yeah I'm trying to write something different. Maggie and Yuri together is one of my phobias! Mwahahaha! Ahem! Anyway... I'm not sure if I'll continue this...I have so much to finish! So yeah, one-shot...for now! >:)