A/n Finally finished for winter break! I have a few PT one-shots which will be posted over the next couple of days, here is one to start you off.

Any prompts are welcome :)

/

Abandonment Issues

Sharing a bed with someone can cause problems in a relationship. Whether it is because of snoring or having little understanding of personal space, but Jane and Lisbon were lucky that they both tend to sleep soundlessly. So on nights that this isn't the case, the other is easily roused.

Jane peels open his eyes and stares up at the ceiling in the dark, noting how there is no sign of daylight peeping above the curtains meaning it must truly be the dead of night. For a second, he ponders what has awaken him, but that question is quickly answered by his wife who continues to mutter in her sleep. He quietly shifts under the covers to face her and even in the dimness of their bedroom he can see the outline of her small baby bump and the anguish etched into her features which immediately has him concerned. He frowns and manoeuvres himself into a sitting position against the pillows just as she releases worried cry.

Since the beginning of their relationship, there have been a few occasions where she has had to help him through a nightmare, perhaps unsurprisingly because of his difficult past, but he has never had the inkling that she also suffers. "Please." She mumbles. "Don't go." It is almost incoherent, but he manages to just understand, and he feels like his heart is about to break. This brilliant woman doesn't deserve any turmoil, she has had enough of that to last a lifetime yet still she is plagued when she should be blissfully floating in the land of nod.

Jane reaches for her upper arm in preparation to carefully coax her back to consciousness, not wanting to startle her but also not wanting her to remain in such a problematic state. "Teresa." He softly says whilst giving her a slight shake. His gentleness doesn't help however, she still ends up awake with a start, gasping for breath with her chest heaving. "Shh, it's okay." He attempts to comfort her and pushes himself closer so he can take hold of her hand whilst planting a delicate kiss at the corner of her mouth. His lips do provide some reassurance and he senses the tension dissipate from her muscles.

He watches while she starts to regain awareness as her usual thought patterns return and although she starts to look both relieved and calmer, her distress is still clear to him. Lisbon goes to rest her free hand on her swollen belly, an image which would usually bring a smile to his face, but he can't bring himself to. He is too concerned.

Their eyes then meet in the darkness, a lonely tear escaping her, and she manages a wry smile whilst mumbling. "Please don't leave me again." And just five words are enough for the familiar feeling of guilt to start to eat away at him once more.

"I'm not going to." He tells her, his voice cracking with emotion and he cannot help but feel shame that his pregnant wife is genuinely worried that he is going to abandon her again. It is awful, she shouldn't have to stress about that. It isn't fair.

He then moves to invite her into his form, and she does nestle into his side, her head resting on his bare chest with one of his arms soothingly pulling her closer. She feels his soft kiss on the top of her head, it is enough to get her to fully calm down and eventually she does drift off again.

It is not so easy for him. Jane starts to remember all the times he has left her, even the instances where it wasn't a big deal and he had only left her for a matter of hours. Now even those hours seem like months, maybe even years, and he feels nothing but disgrace for the behaviour of his past. Things aren't like that now though, he is completely committed to her, to them and to their growing family.

He lays awake for almost another hour until her relaxed breathing starts to entice him back to sleep, but now it is his turn for his dreams to turn bad.

xxx

When Lisbon stirs awake the next morning, she finds herself still over the central line of the bed and onto his side but now her head rests more against his thigh as he is sat up and affectionately running a hand over her arm. She doesn't immediately remember the events of the previous night; it is only when she lifts herself up and notes his preoccupied expression that it all comes rushing back. "What time is it?" She tentatively asks and although he shifts his focus to her and attempts a smile, she can tell that his thoughts have been overwhelmed with what she said after awaking from her nightmare.

"After nine."

The details of her nightmare are difficult to grasp currently, which isn't unusual she supposes, but greatly frustrating. She does remember her anxiety about him leaving her again however, and even though she believes he won't do that again, she does have this deep-rooted fear that he may. It seems silly. "You're still in bed after nine? That's unlike you." He does sleep better than he used to, much better, but he remains an early bird and is usually out of bed and making breakfast for when she rises.

They both sit in bed, leaning against their plush pillows, her body slightly tilted towards him so she can try to gage his thoughts and feelings, but it isn't easy, he is much better at it than she. Briefly, she doesn't think he is going to say anything else, and she is about to suggest that they get up to eat, maybe even head to a diner, but then he releases a drawn-out sigh which completely silences her. "You asked me not to leave you again." He sadly reveals, in case she doesn't remember, but she does.

"Jane-"

"I'm so sorry for giving you abandonment issues, Teresa." He solemnly declares as if it is the biggest regret he has ever had, and he has had a lot in his life to regret. "Some of the things I did to you… I can't quite believe we get to be in this position now." She finds his hand beneath the sheets and entwines their fingers, hoping to get across that everything is okay – although she does appreciate his apology. "I love you and I promise that I am not going anywhere." She knows this, deep down she does, but it is still good to hear. Really good.

Lisbon wants to tell him that everything is fine and that she believes him and that he shouldn't worry but there is something about the dullness of his blue eyes and how his lips are frozen downwards which makes her realise that this wouldn't be enough. So instead, she leans closer to him and uses her free hand to cup his cheek before bringing him in for a sensual kiss. At first it is slow and tender but then a neediness kicks in from them both, a need to be close, a need to feel every inch of each other.

Being intimate may not solve her abandonment issues in the long term, but right now it is something she needs. A temporary cure to the worries niggling at the back of her mind. Those worries fully fade when she feels his fingers dip into the waistband of her pyjama pants.