Chapter Eighty-Nine: I Wish Your Love Away

Haley shifted Nina's weight awkwardly as she opened the over door to check on the cake. Eve ran in as she did so, demanding attention for herself. Ryan followed at a run, desperately trying to keep her out of her mother's way.

"Evie, let's go see if Auntie Brooke is here yet," she said eagerly. Eve reluctantly followed her other Aunt, abandoning her little sister and her mother.

Haley carefully placed Nina in her high chair. She put her elbows on the marble island and rested her face on her hands, breathing deeply, trying to keep back tears. Inevitably, everything that had gotten so good with Nathan had gone down the drain. God, she was tired of it.

"Haley?" came a voice. Almost immediately, Brooke ran in to the kitchen. Haley stared at her for a second. She suddenly realized how much more mature Brooke was than she had been. Her hair was cut shorter, to just above her shoulders, and was now hastily tied back. She was wearing jeans and a zip up sweater over a simple black shirt.

"Tigger," she said wearily. She collapsed into her best friend's arms.

"Shit, what's wrong?" asked Brooke in surprise.

"He's pushing me away," she said.

"He loves you. Like nothing I've ever seen," said Brooke softly.

"He just can't show me."

"He's just a boy," said Brooke, tenderly kissing Haley's blonde hair.

From the opposite end of the table, Haley glanced up at Nathan, chatting to Devon as if nothing was wrong. Between them, Jake and Ryan noticed her glare and looked nervously at each other.

"I can't believe he's already four," said Ryan. Brooke looked up in surprise.

"It happens," she said, smiling falsely.

"He's tall. Maybe he'll be a ball player?" suggested Jake jokingly, glancing at Lucas.

Lucas stared down at his food, seemingly not hearing him.

"God, cant't you just pretend to care about your son's birthday?" asked Brooke in annoyance. Lucas registered this, and looked at her in surprise.

"I do care. But there is something to be said for showing true emotion," said Lucas.

"Are we on this again?" snapped Brooke. Haley looked up at Nathan in panic.

"If you didn't keep taking us here..."

"Bullshit. You're the one that's brooding all the time. Did I ever really think that was attractive?" she said in disbelief.

Ryan silently slipped Nina out of her high chair and motioned Eve to follow her. Jake took the boys, and together they walked out of the room.

"Are we really just going to throw cheap shots around? The bottom line is that I'm jealous, and you can't take it," he said.

"That's the bottom line?" she asked.

"No, that's a lie. The real bottom line is there's a part of you that wishes Devon wasn't mine," he said.

Brooke's green eyes widened, but she didn't make a denial. For a moment, for what seemed like the first time in years, complete silence descended over the four of them.

"He was my first love. Not..."

Brooke Scott, who had begun to look so much older, suddenly looked like nothing more than a child. Lucas glanced up and saw the pain he'd caused her. Suddenly his eyes softened.

"But the only reason this matters is because I love you so damn much. Always have. That's why it hurts so much," he said softly.

Brooke's lips quivered for a moment. No one knew if she was about to cry or about to smile.

"My girl," he said sadly, curving a hand around her cheek.

"I know. Always. I need us to be a family again," she said, leaning toward him.

Nathan glanced up at Haley, watching the scene with his rapture. Brooke's steadfast promise echoed in his ears. Would he ever have that? Would they? Would their family ever be more than by accident? Could he ever make her cry with joy?

Haley smiled sadly at him, reading his thoughts. They'd spent so much time hurting each other, it seemed impossible to believe they could ever be so happy.

"Do you think they're done?" asked Ryan. Jake glanced to the four kids lined up in front of the television.

"I don't hear anything breaking. We're probably safe," he said.

"I need them to be okay, Jakey. All of them. They're my safety net. They're my family," she said.

"You're my family," he said.

"You're my everything," she whispered.

Slipping a hand around her waist, he pulled her in to him, staring into her deep blue eyes, willing conscious thought away. She slid her eyes closed as he lowered her lips to hers.

"Mommy!" came a joyful call. They sprang apart as Haley entered.

"Haley," said Jake weakly.

"No more war zone, and it's time for cake," she said. She smirked to herself as she walked back, followed by her entourage of miniature Scotts.

Five minutes later, Eve and Devon were attempting to blow out the six candles on their joint birthday cake. Brooke was sitting on Lucas' lap, and Jake and Ryan stood on opposite ends of the room.

Ryan watched as Haley nervously attempted to neaten Eve's dark curls as she gorged herself on birthday cake. She watched as Lucas ran a hand through Devon's blonde hair. She sighed to herself. Despite their troubles, despite their angst, these people were happy. They were in love. They had what she would die for.

From across the room, Jake smiled gently at her. He didn't know how to act around her anymore.

But she took this as a good sign. Finally he was seeing her as a woman.