NOTE – This fic is not by me, I merely translated it from Russian. It is by the most talented Anatolia. But I enjoyed it so much, it's humour, freshness and quirkiness that I thought I'd let you all read it too. Enjoy!

The Malfoys were having breakfast.

The spouses were sitting opposite each other. Narcissa, gazing into a hand mirror, was applying moisturising cream onto her cheeks. She used oily cream in winter – her skin got so dry in the heated house... Dammit, it's almost finished. She'll have to ask that stingy monster for money again. Why doesn't he understand that at forty a woman has to look after herself! After all, she has a discount in Helen Rubinstein's London boutique. A whole five percent. Muggle methods are much more effective, no matter what that Parkinson says.

Lucius, chewing his sandwich methodically, was looking somewhere above her head. In his head he was repeating the mantra which Severus taught him. Except he replaced the words "students" and "dimwitted idiots" with, correspondingly, "my wife" and "brainless chicken". The correspondence of "chicken" and the duck meat, which he was eating, gave him some sort of sadistic pleasure.

Draco was sitting at the end of the table. Nervously chewing the nails of his aristocratic fingers, he watched his parents grimly. How many times has Father told her to do this at her dressing table!

But something else was bothering the young man. Today he had to take a very important step – more precisely, to inform his parents about his orientation. A couple of days ago, Potter had thrown his against the wall and practically forced him to promise that he'll tell Mr and Mrs Malfoy about their relationship. The hero of the wizarding world was sick and tired of hiding around. He and Draco had been lovers for almost a year – from the beginning of seventh year, and, it seemed that this was developing into something bigger than a simple fling.

But Potter was as stubborn as an ass. He needed the parents' blessing! Honestly, it was as thought they were going to the altar... Imagining himself with a veil and white shoes (what else does a self-respecting bride need?), Draco suppressed a laugh. Harry would like that...

Potter loved dressing him in womens' clothes. At first, Draco thought he was some dirty Gryffindor pervert (hmm... sounds strange), but soon he cam to like it. Now, when Harry extracted yet another bundle, Draco licked his lips in anticipation. Potter would say, in this hoarse voice, which would drive anyone insane" 'Put this on, love...' and then Draco would come out from the bathroom in some semi-see-through negligee. Potter would get to his knees and begin to kiss his abdomen, and then go lower...

'Ha-ry-yy...' Draco would sigh, his head falling back...

And then Potter would take him to that state in which he'd be ready and willing to give up his title, his inheritance – God, everything!

cling"

Lucius lowered the cup of coffee and looked at his watch. He was expected at the Ministry in one hour... Hopefully, the...had ironed his shirt. Or would he (again) have to use ironing spells? How many shirts he'd ruined that way...

Catching his attention, Draco thought – now or never. He had to tell them.

'Mother, Father, I have to tell you something.'

Lucius grimaced, as if he had a toothache. Of course, he used up all his pocket money. I wasn't such a money waster at his age.

'What is it?' they asked, in unison.

'Ummm...' Draco had no idea where to begin. Should he tell them that he is gay? That he has a lover? And that his lover is Potter? It sounded awful. His father would annihilate him. Of course, many rumors circulated about Lucius himself, but what is the guarantee that they are not just gossip?

'Draco, get one with it. I have to leave soon,' Lucius said impatiently.

'Come on, son, tell us, what is it? Problems?'

'The thing is, I am -'

thud

The fat house elf fell right under Narcissa's feet. She screamed, sending her make-up bottles and boxes flying everywhere.

'Master, Mr Potter is asking for permission to come inside,' the frightened creature muttered, saucer-like eyes huge.

'Bring him here,' Lucius said darkly. He hated unexpected guests.

Two minutes later, a breathless Potter burst into the room.

Leaning against the doorway, he looked at Draco. Green eyes shone on his tanned face.

Draco got up from the table, and slowly walked towards Harry. Placed his hands on his shoulders. And the he did it! Yess... Potter kissed him, right in front of Draco's parents.

Breaking the kiss, the Gryffindor (did it matter now?) announced -

'Mr and Mrs Malfoy, we love each other and want to be together. Unfortunately, Draco did not have the guts to tell you himself, but I am no longer inclined to play hide and seek.'

Narcissa fell onto her chair and giggled nervously. Lucius was silent for a few moments, then burst out laughing.

'Dammit, Narci! What did I tell you? He found someone!'

'Lucius... Merlin, he was right! He was right!'

Quite suddenly they leapt up and, holding hands, spun around the room.

Harry and Draco watched with a growing terror. Draco thought they'd gone insane from their grief. Harry was simply in shock – he always thought aristocrats were so controlled.

'Mum...' Draco's voice shook, 'maybe you'll explain what's going on? Who was right?'

'Yes, Lucius, let's tell the boys,' Narcissa said, almost bursting from happiness.

'Let's sit down,' the head of the family suggested.

Having seated themselves on the sofa (perverted Potter had to make Draco sit on his knees), they were all ears.

'You see, Draco. When me and your mother... um... conceived you, the magic scanner showed that you were a... girl.'

Draco's jaw dropped.

'We... Alright, I, was not happy with this. We both wanted an heir. So we decided to change your gender.'

'What!' shock was evident in the young man's pale eyes.

Harry pulled Draco closer, and soothingly patted his head.

'It was not easy, and demanded great bravery from your mother. But we succeeded. You were born a boy. Although the doctor did tell us that when you hit puberty, your real gender will reveal itself. He said such things... Me and your mother were upset at first, but then decided it was better than having a girl.'

Narcissa looked rather guilty. Of course, what could she do, living with such a tyrant?

'Mr Malfoy,' Harry began carefully, 'what exactly did the doctor say?'

'He said that Draco might be attracted to boys, men. That he might want to wear womens' clothing and wear make up. And that we should not be angry at him...'

Blushing, the blond buried his face in Potter's jacket. Me-erlin... And he thought Potter was the pervert...

'Draco, don't. Nothing to be ashamed of. You are who you are and we love you. And if you want to be with Potter...'

'Yes, by the way,' Harry cut across, 'I was just going to ask you for your blessing. I love your son and want to spend -'

'Don't go too far yet, dear,' Narcissa winked at him, 'you have no idea how horrible he can be...'

'Mum!'

'Narci!'

Two pairs of identical grey eyes stared at the mistress of the house with a very real indignation.

'Not saying anything, not saying anything,' she gave in.

'Mrs Malfoy, what did you want to call her?' that horrible Potter asked.

'Well... We were thinking about -'

'MOTHER! BE QUIET!' Draco screamed, 'DON'T YOU DARE TELL HIM!'

'But why -'

'Let me guess...' Potter said dreamily, 'your mother's name would have suited you... You also spend half the day in front of the mirror...'

Narcissa jumped and looked at her husband.

'Alright,' Lucius rose, 'now you all know. Potter, we approve of you. You may visit us during the holidays.'

'Darling, we're leaving,' Potter said, 'get your things, you're moving in with me.'

'But Harry -

'Come on Draco, be a good girl,' the jerk sneered, suppressing a peal of laughter.

'Idiot!' Draco punched him in the chest.

Harry lost his balance and fell onto the sofa, bringing Draco with him.

'Alright, I see you are enjoying yourselves and I am late for work,' Lucius looked away.

'I'll see you out,' Narcissa chased her husband out of the door.

They were left alone.

'Kitten,' Harry whispered, kissing Draco's ear, 'come with me, eh?'

'Potter... Yes, I will... God, what are you doing? Are we going to live together – you, me and Lupin?'

'Come on, Remus barely lives there,' Harry purred, nuzzling Draco's chest.

'Where does he live?'

'Come on Draco,' Harry drawled, 'don't tell me you've no idea who your godfather is sleeping with.'

'Godfather?' Draco grinned, 'oh, whom he doesn't sleepwith...'

Harry grabbed his chin.

'Are you telling me your slimy Snape is unfaithful to my Remus? If you were unfaithful to me...'

'Yes, like I can cheat on you. But I don't want to hear what you'd do to me. I won't fall asleep at night. So, please, keep your fantasies to yourself.'

'My fantasies? Draco, don't bring out the beast in me!'

'Oh Merlin, not again!'