I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and sat up from the bed before letting out a yawn. Despite how early I had gone to bed, I still felt tired. Nothing out of the ordinary, and certainly nothing that a little coffee wouldn't fix. Viper seemed to have already left as she was no longer on the side of the bed. Maybe she decided to let me sleep in. Wouldn't be the first time. Still, I ignored it and slithered off of the bed and into the kitchen. Again, it was empty. I could hear snoring from one of the rooms so it seemed that someone else was just as tired as I was. Ah well, I'll wake them up later. For now, I poured myself a cup of coffee, mixing hot water with a teaspoon of jasmine. Once poured, I sat down and gave a small smile. I really needed something to perk me up right now. I leaned in to take a sip until...

Knock knock

Right before the cup could touch my scaly lips too. I gave an irritated moan and put the coffee down on the table. Must have been one of the villagers. For a moment, I wanted to just pretend that I hadn't heard it, but then again, what if it was something important? I slowly got up from the chair and slowly slithered towards the door. The closer I got to it, the more I could hear the voices outside. A lot of them too. Oh God, please don't tell me it's one of those fan club groups again... Who did they want to see this time? Po? Tigress? Crane? As long as it isn't me, I'll be able to clear them off and get back to getting some peace and quiet, even if it does last for half an hour. My tail grasped the handle to the door and quickly pulled it open. I immediately regretted my decision.

"LOOK! THERE HE IS"!

"EEEEEEEE"!

"DO YOU THINK HE LIKES DAFFODILS"?

"MARRY ME"!

Before me were half the females in the Valley of Peace! All of them smiling eagerly, carrying either chocolates, flowers and all sorts of romantic gifts! And the second the saw me, all hell broke loose as they didn't hesitate to evade my personal space, demanding requests for me to go out with them as the forced their "gifts" unto me! All of them shouting and yelling at the same time, making it impossible to understand what any of them were saying! I was almost being threatened to get run over by the mad happy mob! Before it got out of hand, I gave the only sane response I could! Slithering back before I could get trampled to death and slamming the door on them! Multiple arms of hooves, wings and paws scrambled frantically between the door and the lock as they tried to force themselves in! I kept pushing as hard as I could, barely reducing the distance! After an exhausting battle, I managed to get the door shut and wasted to time locking it! The yelling and screeching of the crazed lovers slightly muted as they pounded on the other side. I stared wild eyed at the event that had just occurred and one thought came to mind.

"That is one sturdy door"...

I slowly backed away from the door, never taking my eyes off of it. At least now I knew why I had been getting those funny looks yesterday. Just one night, and already the barracks are under siege from a legion of love crazed maniacs wanting nothing more than to get into my metaphorical pants! Seriously, is having one normal day too much to ask for?!

I heard a groan from the opposite end of the barracks. I spun round to find, oddly enough, Mantis walking through the door to his own room. Had he just woken up? Was he even aware of what was happening?

"Oh, hey Mike. What's up"? He casually greeted.

"Uh... not much. Listen, I"-

"Yeah, I figured. I'd be pretty bummed in your position too".

"... Uh... you would"? I'd have thought a siege being held by well over a hundred woman would have been this guys dream come true. He continued.

"Yeah, I mean after last night, you must be a little sore on the whole nightmare thing".

Oh... right.

"Yeah, I suppose, but right now we have a"-

"Big deal if we got attacked. I mean, I had plenty to enjoy kicking monster booty and what not".

"Yeah that's great and all, but if could just"-

"Suppose we better head on over to the training hall. Maybe if we rush there, Shifu won't be TOO angry". The bug chuckled, hopping on over my head before I could stop him! By the time I had turned round, the door had been unlocked!

"Mantis! Do not! Open that door"! I snapped fearfully. Mantis turned to me with a look of confusion.

"The heck you so wound up for anyway? You really need to calm down". He opened the door... He actually opened the door, revealing many smiling girls...

"Oh, son of a bi"-

"GRAB HIM"!

...

VIPER POV

"Thank you doctor. I appreciate your help". I smiled, leaving the hospital. Considering everything, it was worth getting up early, just to be sure.

"Of course Master Viper. Please give my regards to Master Mike".

"I will".

The front door to the hospital closed, leaving me on my own once more. My smile turned into a half frown. I mean, I suppose I should be happy about it, but... I didn't feel it. Maybe it had to do with my concern on telling Mike the news. Whether he takes it as good or bad is up to him. I don't think I could find it in me to blame him for whatever decision he chooses...

Slithering through town, I couldn't help but notice something strange about the villagers. There only seemed to be half the amount there usually is. I couldn't see why, it was a beautiful sunny day. Well, I'm sure they have their reasons.

I made my way up to the top of the stairs and towards the barracks. I had to talk to Mike. The sooner I did, the better. I just hope he still isn't upset about yesterday. He really needs to see that not everything is his fault. I had to admit, a small bit of it was, but it wasn't intentional. Still, I doubt he'd listen. Why he must always be so stubborn I really do not know... Wait. Why are half the villagers surrounding the barracks?

...

MIKE POV

You know, it's amazing what opinions someone may carry about females. A lot of people in this world will say that being loved by multiple women is a good thing. That it makes a man feel like a God. Makes them feel invincible. Those people can go and fornicate themselves with an iron stick because I am feeling the exact opposite right now! Mantis was lost somewhere within the sea of females and I had fallen back into my room with the cupboard against the door as several dozen limbs banged against it. I was no different than a piece of meat being thrown into a den full of hungry lions at this moment. If I dared step out, I would have been torn to pieces. This must have had something to do with that potion, that much was clear. Since they're villagers, I can't use kung fu on them, so I had no choice but to use a sweeping broom in order to try and fend them off. Now, I'm trapped. Better consider my options as best I can. Not exactly easy to think when you have a large gang of obsessive lovers wailing on your door.

"Okay, so if I go out there, I die. If I stay in here, I'll eventually die. Maybe sneaking out the window is my best option"?

The window was open, yes. And all the girls seemed to be more or less focused on the doors. Each one of them were out for themselves so none of them were planning anything creative to get me, hopefully... Oh where's the rest of the five when you need them? I'm even willing to take Po at this point!

"Psssst"!

The Heck?

I turned to the opened window, thinking it was another crazed girl. I sighed in relief as I saw a familiar black and orange warrior. No doubt she already had a plan in motion. I smiled and waster no time in slithering out the window, coiling up next to Tigress and looking all around. Just in case.

"Boy am I glad to see you Tigress". I gleamed. For a moment I thought the sides of her lips curled upwards slightly at the comment. Probably nothing. "Please tell me you have a plan".

"Don't worry. I have everything already worked out". She nodded as her arms folded, bringing out my smile. "If we hurry, we'll be able to get there before the lunch rush".

"Excellent! I can't wait... until... we... what did you just say"? And... the fear has kicked back in.

"You know, for Mr. Pings buy one, get one tenth off deal. Heh. you're so cute when you're clueless".

WHAT?! HER TOO!? WHY!?

I could feel my left eye twitch.

"Ohmywouldyoulookatthetimegottogo". I blurted out before trying my best to flee! Oh Dear God in heaven, PLEASE SAVE ME!

I didn't exactly get very far in my panicked state. Two seconds was all it took for me to get pinned down before being wrapped up in two thick furry arms.

"Easy dear. I wouldn't want to hurt you".

DEAR?! Oh just kill me now...

"Come, let's go while we can. It won't take long before those fiends find us and try to destroy what we have". She growled.

Uh, exactly what do we have? Seriously, what DO we have?

Next thing I knew, I was being forcibly escorted down the side of the cliff as Lil miss lover here claimed for it to be the "Safest" route around the rest of the lovers, who had most likely broken into my room by now. I swear to God, if I die, I'll kill that warty gypsy pig!

...

Dang. Poor Mike. Hopefully he'll find a way out of this before things go too far. Also, what was Viper doing at the hospital? Cheerio!