Chapter 5: Defense Against Sheer Stupidity Class and People Put Their Names in the Cupy
"Now can anyone tell me what was here before Hogwarts was founded?" Ms. Bitters asked her class while sitting at her desk.
" Before Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was founded it was a magical reserves..." Hermione started.
"NO! Before their was Hogwarts their WAS NOTHING! Where Moaning Myrtle's bathroom is, nothing. Where that tower is... nothing. Where the Whomping Willow is nothing."
"But their was something, the magical..."
"I was a quick witch when I was your age too..."
Magical Re-Enactment
Ms. Bitters (far younger and less scary) dressed in black robes and a black hat. "Then everything went horribly wrong." She wiggles her ears and turns into her ususal self.
"Now what do you do when someone is trying to turn you into a donkey."
"You use the expell..." Neville said quaking in fear.
"NO! You tell them they are worth less than the figgle wart you put into your dingle berry potion."
"Ms. Bitters does the magical world acknowledge the existence of extraterrestrial life?" Dib asked... Duh!
"We acknowledge a lot of things Dib... unfortunately students have to be one of them."
"Does the magical world acknowledge the existence of Turkey Neck?"
"I went to school with him... I gave him his lucky neck meats."
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"Lucky neck meats?" Harry asked Hermione as they entered the great hall.
"I thought I was used to the life of muggles but Turkey Neck, people think our life is strange."
"Now what is it Dib says he does?"
"He gobbles and then says those kids are always after me lucky neck meats." Hermione said doing an all too eerie representation of Turkey Neck.
"Mental."
"I know."
"GIR! We must put our names into the cupy thing." Zim said pushing aside Harry and Hermione.
"Look it's the Moofy girl!" Gir said smiling at Hermione who returned with a darty look.
"What are you up to Zim?" Dib said coming up to Zim and Gir.
"I am up to nothing, Dib Stink! We are merely putting our names into this goblet and so we may compete in the Tri-Wizard tournament held here at Pollymolly Princess Park of Pajamas and Slippers."
"Owww, you were doing so good." Gir said putting his head down.
" I know you are older than I am Zim but Gir... how old is he?"
"HE IS! He is... How old are you Gir."
"I am 42!"
"He's 42 Dib!"
"Well I guess there is nothing wrong with that. But I'll be watching you closely Zim." Dib said as Gaz appears behind him.
"How'd you do that?" Dib asked.
"It's called apperating." Gaz said annoyed. "You guys aren't talking about that stupid tournament are you?"
"It's a once in a life time event Gaz aren't you even the least excited?"
"No." Gaz said as Cedric came in soaking wet gathered by a couple of his friends she then held her breath as he took a piece of paper and placed it into the goblet illuminated in it's blue flames. She did not breath until he walked away taking his posse with him. "He looks like Gaven from level 22 of Legend of Gaibon the Guitar of Gancky, when he faced the Mossy Monster in the Swamps of Echoes. Maybe I shall watch this one in a lifetime event."
"What's up with your sister?" Zim asked.
"I am afraid too." Dib said as he touched her sister on the shoulder.
"What did I tell you about touching me!" Gaz said as Dib and Zim gave a sigh of relief.
"That boy has curly hair!" Gir said obnoxiously.
"Curly hair like Gaven." Gaz said a little drool passing her lips.
"GIR!" Zim screeched.
"You're a bad influence!" Dib said as then Viktor Krum came with his mentor Igor Karkaroff came to put his name in the cup.
"Look Gir, your Moofy girl has the same look as little Gaz, interesting." Zim said as he stroked his chin.
"I miss Moofy..." Gir said looking at the Moofy girl I-I mean Hermione.
"Crookshanks!" Hermione whispered angerilly while still enthralled by Krum.
"It's called a crush Zim." Dib said flately.
"IT'S ZIMA!... A crush, there going to crush something... can I watch?" Zim asked as everyone but Gir deserted him with a look of witnessing something truly stupid.
"Look it's the spinning turkey man!" Gir said as Mad Eye Moody was doing...something... with the goblet.
"Moody... soon we shall meet and yes it will be special indeed..."
"Did you say something?" Moody asked who was only standing a few feet away from Zim.
"Oh nothing... nothing at all." Zim said sinisterly walking off with a little chuckle.
"SPINNING TURKEYS!" Gir said whirling around making noises.
"GIR!"
"Coming, coming." Gir said as he fallowed Zim.