I found myself frozen on the spot, unable to look away at the blazing inferno that was Tigress. I didn't even dare slither back an inch. Just one wrong move, I'd be torn to pieces. There had to be something I could do to calm her down. Anything at all!

"Mike"?

Maybe if I apologized over and over again, then maybe she wouldn't be tempted to break EVERY bone in my body. I mean, I'd be in excruciating pain, but I'd be alive. Right?

"Mike".

Or I could try just telling her that I like her as a friend. Would that even work? I mean, would the potion allow it? Hey, now that I think about it, why isn't Viper going crazy over me? Is it because she already loves me? Eh, I'll ask later once I fix this whole mess.

"Mike"!

"Yes Viper"? I asked, turning back to Viper to see what she wanted. She pointed down the street. I looked to see what it was she wanted me to see.

"...Oh... right".

Remember those hundred girls from back up at the barracks? Well, they had found their way down and were now right there before me in the street, covering it from head to toe. It was as though a small army had mobilized against me! All of them eyeing me creepily. Just one wrong word, and I'd either be ripped apart from each girl trying to take me for themselves, or Tigress will do it in the sake of hurt vengeance. My options are far from good I'll say that.

Okay, think! Think Dammit!

Right now, I needed to come up with a plan quickly before heads go flying. My head specifically. So what I need to do is come up with something cunning, smart, foolproof, and utterly brilliant! ... Of course, this is me we're talking about here, so I decided to do the next best thing. I turned to the street full of girls, looked up above them, pointed and made the best scared face I could muster before yelling out...

"OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT THING"?!

Every single head turned to where it was I was pointing at. The villagers panicked, worried that it was some kind of monster while both Tigress and Viper got into their stances, ready to defend against the "Monster". I used the chance I had to belt it in the other direction, hoping that my cheap tactic would buy me time.

...

VIPER POV

"Oh that? It's just a box kite".

I looked at the red and orange object above and followed the rope down which was being held onto by a young goat villager who seemed oblivious to the situation at hand.

"I take it you don't have those where you're"...

As I turned round, I noticed that Mike was nowhere in sight.

"...From"?

Wait a minute... Oh my goodness! I can't believe we all just fell for that! The oldest trick in the book, and yet he fooled every single one of us! That's... a little humorous I must admit, but when the others realize it-

"HE'S GONE"! Tigress roared. Sensing her anger toward Mike, I snapped out of my giggling and tried my best to calm my sister in arms down, maybe buy poor Mike some time.

"Tigress, honey, calm down. I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation why Mike"-

"FIND HIM"! A random female villager called out among the crowd. "FIND HIM AND CAPTURE HIM! IF HE CHOOSES TO DENY OUR LOVE FOR HIM, THEN WE SHALL FORCE HIM TO LOVE US INSTEAD"!

Oh dear, that did not sound good.

The rest of the villagers, and even Tigress yelled in agreement and began to spread all over the village. It wouldn't take long until they covered every corner of the village with the numbers they had. Thankfully I had two advantages. One, I can taste the air, sense the heat and find out the direction Mike went. Tigress would most likely search the town first before tracking down his scent, giving me a few minutes. And two, Mike mentioned something about a market. I can only assume that he was talking about... the Moshu market! That must be the reason why everyone is acting this way! Oh he has a lot of explaining to do once he fixes things!

Wasting no more time, I began to follow Mike to the best of my abilities.

...

MIKE POV

Okay, now, was it a left turn here? Wait, no that doesn't seem right. Or did I just... no, that's not right either! Should I have taken the right path instead of the left one back there? Have I seriously just gone and gotten lost? God Damn It!

I had been wandering the bamboo forest for a couple of minutes now! I had completely forgotten the direction I had taken from last night! Then again last time, I just simply followed the noises. Since I couldn't hear any, it must have meant that the market wasn't as busy, or it was closed. Oh please for all that is good and holy don't let it be closed...

Okay, thinking... thinking... right... Okay then! I'm effed...

I had absolutley no recollection of the steps I took in order to reach the market. None of the surrounding area seemed at all familiar! Was I even anywhere near civilization anymore? Suppose I could try heading back, maybe I'll be able to see it on the way back? No, wait! I remember now! It was somewhere over a hill! Okay, new objective. Find a hill and see if the thingimabob market is behind it. Seems simple enough right?

Finally, I gave a smile before checking every direction. No crazy lovers. Good. And as for the hills... ...?

...There was a hill in every... single... direction. Some small, some high. Some just a stones throw away while others were all the way over in the distance, spread out through the thick bamboo stalks. At least twelve of the grassy giants within my view. I felt my eye twitch! My anger rose up inside me, my cheeks puffing up holding in my words before eventually screaming out!

"MOTHER FU"-

...

VIPER POV

It seemed that Mike had headed straight into the bamboo forest. Although, it seemed that the direction he chose to took led away from the Moshu market. Perhaps it was a trick to lead all the other girls in a different direction? I never knew Mike to be much of a strategist, what with his past plans. But even so, what if he hadn't planned this out? What if he was actually lost? If that really is the case then, I need to find him, and fast.

Without a moment to spare, I followed the trail to the best of my abilities, following the pathways that Mike had taken. It began to seem more and more likely that my first assumption was correct. He was lost. If he really had been trying to lead someone in the wrong direction then he shouldn't have come this far.

Within the next few minutes I was able to follow his tracks through the grass. Everything seemed just fine until I stopped, looking at the trail. It had now split up into six different directions.

I don't understand. Is this meant to be some sort of clue? A trick maybe? A line splitting up in several short directions in order to confuse the villagers? Tigress would have seen past this tactic, and so could I. But it wasn't enough. Only one of these had to be the real direction. I bet Mike must be feeling really proud of himself right now for coming up with this.

...

MIKE POV

Damn it! Another barren area! That's the sixth one now!

I had searched the six closest hills in the hopes of seeing the market, but there seemed to still be no sign of the place! Yet at least. Now I found myself slithering back following my own tracks. This was getting ridiculous. If I don't hurry up I'll be found and... actually I don't really want to think about what would happen next. Something bad anyway.

Should I even risk checking the last six? I've wasted too much time already. Okay, you know what, I'm just going to head back and try going in the other direction. I just... AGHHH!

"Getting frustrated"?

"No! I'm just"...

I paused for a second. Was that Viper?

I looked to the source of the voice and indeed, it was Viper! She just sat there with an amused grin spread out across her face. I can only take that as a bad sign.

"Oh, uh... hey Vipes"? I casually greeted, feeling nervous from the glare I was receiving. I was in trouble with her and I knew it. The more she stared at me, the more I wanted to break the tension between us. A few words found their way out of my throat.

"...What's up"? Yeah, real smooth genius.

"Okay, spill it". Viper demanded at once.

I hung my head low. No point in trying to hide anything. She'd find out eventually. A sigh escaped from my mouth as I found myself backed into a corner.

"Okay, well... it goes something like this. When I went for a walk yesterday I stumbled across"...

ONE QUICK STORY LATER

"... And now I've been trying to find said hill for the past five minutes until you came along". I finished, explaining every detail I could. Viper seemed to be taking it in well. Maybe a little too well. So it's most likely she's going to give me hell later... which I guess I kind of deserve... A couple of seconds passed until she gave a sigh, followed by a few choice words.

"Mike, I have three things to say right now. One, that potion you bought? That was a love potion".

"I guess that explains a lot". I silently agreed within my head.

"Two, I can't understand why you have to think that everyone is going to hold a grudge towards you for your mistakes. You need to forget about past mistakes Mike. It doesn't make anyone love you any less. Especially not me".

To prove her point, Viper offered me a friendly smile before kissing me on the cheek.

"Like I said before, you would have done the same if I was in your position".

I managed to find it in me to smile back.

"Thanks Viper. I appreciate it. And... what was the third thing"?

*SLAP*

OW! Okay... been some time since the last hit across the face...

By the time I recovered from my recoil, I looked to see that Viper had gone back to being mad at me.

"That's for being an idiot"! She summed up. "And don't think we'll be dropping this conversation. You can explain the rest of it to me when we return to the Jade palace"!

I opened my mouth to say something back, only stopping to realise that... well, she did have a point. I suppose looking back I wasn't exactly in my right mind...

"Fair enough"... I sighed, hanging my head low in shame and embarrassment for a moment.

"So. Are we heading over to the Moshu market then"?

"Yeah... Lead the way"?

Viper rolled her eyes.

"Come on, let's go". She sighed with me following close behind, leaving the six point trail behind.

"By the way"... Viper asked out of the blue, turning to me with an eye raised. "Were you serious when you said you were going to check every single hill? You didn't think of turning back or anything"?

I smiled sheepishly.

"Funny how someones mind works in a crisis"? Was my reply, causing Viper to shake her head.

"You're lucky I love you".

...

MIKE! Watch your language!

This was a bit of a risk this chapter. I've been trying to see if I could make this one a little funnier by applying some comical and cartoon humor. Not too sure if it turned out the way I wanted it to. If you could, could you please give me some feedback on it? Good or bad I don't mind as long as you don't be a jerk about it. Other than that, Cheerio!