Chapter One Hundred Two: The Sound of Settling

Nathan paced nervously outside the closed bathroom door and checked his watch for what seemed like the thousandth time in three minutes.

He raised his eyebrows expectantly as Haley came slowly out of the door.

"Positive," she said happily, after a moment. He grinned and she launched herself in to his arms. He lifted her off the ground and she seuqaled in delight.

"I love you," she said happily.

"You too. I'll call Deb and tell her I'm taking the day off," said Nathan.

"Why, so we can have sex all day? Babe, as appealing as that sounds, we kind of have responsibilities. I was planning on giving Heli the day off and hanging out with Nina and Eve," she explained. He sighed dramatically.

"Fine. I'll ravish you later, if I have to. That being the case, I have to go. See you later," he said, swiftly kissing her lips before departing.

Haley was making pancakes with Eve and Nina in the kitchen, thinking of baby names, when the doorbell rang. She ran to answer it, disregarding the short apron she wore over her jeans, her messily tied back her.

"Seamus?" she said in amazement. He looked cautiously at her, as though half expecting to have the door slammed in his face.

"Hey," he said.

Haley launched herself in to his arms, mentally erasing the last time she'd seen him, remembering the good times.

"God, Seamus! What are you doing here? Come in, meet Nina, have pancakes!" she said. Seamus raised his eyebrows, surprised by her exuberance.

"Uh, great. I actually wanted to... talk," he said, watching after her as she ran down the hall, beckoning for him to follow.

Haley smiled as Seamus easily took Nina in to his arms. Nina, not much bothered by the stranger's arms, settled down with a small sigh of contentment.

"She's beautiful. She looks exactly like you," he said.

"Yeah, and Evie is Nathan all over again," she said, smiling.

"They're both gorgeous. You look great, too," he said.

"You too. Why'd you decide to come visit?" asked Haley.

"After last time I worried I wouldn't be so welcome. But uh, I ran in to your big sister," he said slowly.

Haley's face went immediately white.

"God, Taylor? She told you, didn't she," murmured Haley in disbelief.

"Yeah. 'Fraid so. You said you loved him, Haley."

"I do. So much, I swear to you. It broke my heart to leave you, but I had to," said Haley. Seamus smiled, knowing this to be a partial untruth.

"You didn't. You could have asked me, I'd help you, even without the interesting collateral," he said.

"What? You were a student, like me. You didn't have money."

"Yeah, but my parents did. And my grandmother set me up with a trust fund when she died. You knew that. You could have stayed," said Seamus.

Haley stared up at him, her face emotionless. Her hand dropped down onto Eve's head when she approached, and she ruffled through her curls.

"I'd have married you, Seamus. I'd have never spoken to Nathan again. You'd never have met..." Haley blushed as she searched for the name of his one time significant other. He smiled.

"Amanda. We're engaged now. And yeah, I know. It's kind of mind boggling," he said.

"Kind of," echoed Haley. She flipped a pancake as it began to burn, and watched her daughter sleep in her ex's arms.

Dream Sequence

"Haley!" came a voice. Haley slowly walked toward the front door.

"Hey Luke," she said tiredly. He wrapped an arm around her before tilting her chin upward to look into her brown eyes.

"You okay?"

She nodded quickly before kneeling down to converse with his eldest, four year old Devon.

Haley quickly hugged three year old Hayden before rising again to smile at Lucas. He was frowning.

"She's been gone six months now," he said bitterly. She touched a hand to his cheek, wondering how she'd become so involved in their complicated lives. Wondering, as she always wodnered, how Brooke could have possibly left her loving husband and two beautiful children.

"I know. Do you want me to watch them for the day?" she asked kindly.

"No, I just wanted to stop by and say hey. I'll call you later," he said, taking his sons one on each hand before departing.

Haley watched them go sadly. It was only nine and already she'd run out of things to do.

Glancing down guiltily at her ring finger, she grabbed her purse and walked quickly out of the house.

"Hales," said Nathan upon answering the door, sounding unsurprised yet glad to see her.

"Is Davis around?" asked Haley, glancing around nervously for his wife.

"No, she's in Malibu with a girlfriend. Come in," he said, beckoning.

Haley followed him inside. They ended up in his living room.

"So my sister's getting married next week..."

"I know, to Jake. I'm invited, do you want to ignore each other?" she asked. He sighed.

"Fine. Will Seamus be there?" he asked.

"Yes, actually. You know you don't have the right to be jealous," she said accusingly.

"Don't I?" asked Nathan, raising an eyebrow.

"No, you don't. You're my lover, not my husband. And..."

Haley's words stopped abruptly as Nathan cut her off with a kiss. She moaned into his mouth and wrapped her legs around him as he lifted her into the air.

They fell on to a sofa, kissing feverishly. Haley slid out of her shirt, responding to Nathan's touch as she never did to Seamus'.

"Fuck me, Nate," she murmured in to his ear. Ideally, Nathan wished he could resist her. Turn her away, stay faithful to his wife. He couldn't. It was impossible.

He admired her naked form for a moment before going down on her, making her come alive with his touch. He smiled in satisfaction as he plunged inside of her and heard her scream out his name. His, not anyone elses. Ever.

As soon as they were done, Haley redressed and left hurriedly.

"Haley, you're home," said Seamus once she'd stepped through the door, kissing her lightly. She smiled.

"Hey. How was your day?" she asked weakly.

"Great, yours? Did you see Lucas and the boys?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"I wonder if there is anything that could have made Brooke stay," said Seamus thoughtfully. Haley shrugged.

"I doubt it. She didn't really love him, I guess," said Haley, looking intently at her husband.

"Guess not. Uh, it's Jake's wedding next week..."

"I know, he's marrying Ryan. I'm happy for them,"

"Me too. Nathan's going to be there," he said carefully.

"I kind of figured. We have gotten pretty good at avoiding each other," she said.

"Are you sure you don't want..."

Haley cut him off.

"Yes. It's not the kind of thing I'd forgive."

Seamus sighed as he watched his wife walk away, imagining he knew better.

A week later, Haley stared at the back of Nathan's head as his sister was joined with Jake Jagielski in holy matrimony.

"And do you, Jake, take Ryan to be your lawfully wedded wife?" asked the aged officiator. Haley glanced sideways at Seamus, remembering their own wedding, when she'd felt too pressured by his support of Taylor to say no.

"Yes," she said happily, gazing happily into his eyes.

Haley's gaze shifted temporarily to the two of them as they were procclaimed man and wife, and kissed.

Nathan intercepted her as she moved toward the ladies room after the ceremony. He grabbed her upper arm and pulled her away from the crowd.

"That should have been us," he said, as she pulled off his jacket. She stopped abruptly and looked up at him, her sadness leakign through to her eyes.

"That never could have been us."

Running, she went to find her husband. Nathan watched as she disappeared, her white dress making her look like an angel with the light reflected off of it.

Seamus watched in admiration as his wife approached their bed, clad in pajama pants and a camisole. She lookd beautiful always to him.

"I didn't see you after the ceremony," he said lightly.

"Yeah. Sorry, I ran in to an old friend," she said.

"That's alright. I chatted to Davis for a while," he said. Haley rolled over, to face the opposite direction, wishing that this remark could still warrant a reaction from her.

But it didn't, of course. Nothing could. Nothing could get past her exterior anymore. The years had been too much for her, the years of longing and unfulfilled desire. Haley was beyond fear, or hate, or pain. Beyond even love. They didn't affect her any more.

Her body stiffened as Seamus rolled over and began to touch her. She braced her body for him, ready for whatever was to come.

Haley sat straight up in bed as she awoke, and let out a gasp of alarm, surprised to see her familiar, vast bedroom, surprised to feel Nathan's comforting body pressed up to hers.

"Haley?" he murmured.

"Nathan," she said in disbelief.

"What's wrong?"

"I had a dream. The most vivid I've ever had," she said in amazement. He smirked, his eyes staying closed.

"Oh yeah? Was I in it?" he asked knowingly.

"Yes. But not like that. I was married to Seamus," she said.

"Because he came over here today, probably. Who was I?"

"My lover," she said softly.

"I'm liking the sound of that."

"It was awful. I was so empty. Nothing was in my life worth living for," she said. He half rose, his eyes finally opening.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not. It woke me up to how very un-sorry I am, about how things turned out," she murmured, rolling closer to him.