Chapter One Hundred Six: Never Been Better Than This

"You know Brooke and Haley made a tabloid? Damn, I'm glad I stayed home that day," said Ryan, bouncing on to Jake's bed early one morning.

"What are you doing awake? And bouncing? Pregnant women aren't supposed to bounce," he said tiredly.

"I know, I know. Wake up, I have an appointment," she said eagerly.

"Of course you do. Go make me coffee, woman," he said. She giggled and slapped him before yanking his hand and pulling him out of the bed.

"Heaven forbid we have a boy..." she muttered, as he followed her out of the room.

"Nope. I've got a feeling it's a girl," he said confidentally.

"It's a girl," said the doctor, beaming at the image of their baby on the screen.

"Thank you," whispered Ryan, as the doctor quietly left the room. Jake went down on his knees by the head of her bed and gently took her hand in his.

"I think she's got your eyes," he joked. This was all it took Ryan to burst into tears, which she promptly did.

"We made that, Jake. You and me, we did that," she said, looking at the form on the screen which was barely beginning to appear human.

"Yeah we did," he replied, smiling. She looked sideways at him. He looked so happy, even if he had just signed his life away to her, and to them. He wasn't afraid, as she was.

He looked at her and met her gaze. Slowly he leaned in, hid hand moving in to cup her cheek as he did so. As he reached her their lips fused together. She let all of her priorites go and kissed longingly.

After another moment she pulled away, detaching his warm hand from her skin. Immediately she felt the loss, but did not show it.

"Lots of hormones," she murmured.

"It's not more than that?" he asked under his breath. She heard him and pretended that she had not.

Ryan stared at the sonogram on the cab ride home, attempting to distinguish the various limbs of her daughter. Her daughter. She was going to be someone's mother. And he, the most stable person she knew, the only constant in her life, was going to be someone's father.

That much at least was easy to comprehend.

After a dinner at Brooke and Lucas' in which she, Brooke and Haley compared sonograms, the boys swapped stories about the girl's pregnancies and the four children ran around, barely restrained for once, Jake and Ryan returned to their apartment.

"It's small. We might have to move, get an uber mansion like the rest of them," she said, sounding sad despite her words.

"Maybe. We'll figure something out," he said shortly, departing to his bedroom.

Ryan stared after him as his door slammed shut. She couldn't figure him out. They'd lived together for years, he'd been her lover, he knew her more than anyone, and she couldn't figure out the complexities of his heart.

Hours later she lay in her bed, staring up at the peeling white ceiling. This wasn't the life she'd been raised for. She'd been raised for palatial mansions, summer homes, a young marriage to a man of impeccable manners and good social standing. Not the two bedroom apartment and an illegitimate child on the way. Not hopelessly in love with a man who could never love her in the same way.

Jake stared at her as she arrived in his doorway, the sleeping shirt she wore that had once belonged to him loosely fitting over her curves and her slightly rounded figure.

"I couldn't sleep," she whispered, like a child seeking solace.

He smiled and beckoned to her. Immediately she ran to the bed and got in beside him.

"This is better," she murmured. She waited another moment. "The baby can take my room."

"Get up, I'm making us pancakes," said Jake abruptly, coming in to his bedroom to find her sitting on the edge of the bed, her hands on her stomach.

"Jakey, come here," she ordered.

"What's up?" he asked in concern, sitting down beside her.

"This," she murmured, grabbing his hand and placing it flat on her bare stomach. She was wearing boxers under her sleeping shirt but nothing else. He forced himself not to concentrate on this.

He jumped slightly as he felt a slight pressure under his hand. Her hand joined his.

"It's the baby. She's kicking," said Ryan. He grinned.

"A fighter. Or a soccer player. Definitely a Scott woman," he said, kissing her forehead and pulling her in closer to him.

"We're a rare breed."

Jake grinned as he felt another kick against the palm of his hand.

"Did you ever wish for this with Peyton?" Ryan was instantly surprised by the anger in his eyes.

"For God's sakes Ry. Stop bringing her in to this. I don't want her anymore," he said angrily. She was surprised by the measure of authority and disbelief in his voice.

"Do you want me?" she whispered.

He stood up and stared at her. She blushed under his scrutinizing gaze.

"Take off your shirt."

"What?"

"Take it off."

"But..." He raised an eyebrow at her and she compiled, feeling bloated and round and altogether unappealing.

"Now the shorts."

Ryan blushingly crossed her arms and legs once she was naked in front of him, though she had been many times before.

"Will it hurt the baby?" She silently shook her head, prompting him to push her down onto the bed and climb on top of her.

In the other times, she had been the driving force. Her intense desire of him had turned him on and sparked his own. She'd never really known the depth of his want for her. He showed her. Showed her in his kiss, his touch, showed her as he entered her. Finally she knew how desperately he wanted him, how a part of him couldn't live without her.

They spooned together after they finished. He cupped her breast in his hand and she didn't attempt to stop it.

"Definitely the last time," she murmured, knowing and hoping it was a lie.

He sighed, looking pained, though she didn't see it.

"Definitely."