(Warning: 4th wall breaking inbound)
Just outside the Hall of Heroes of the Jade palace stood two figures. A female Panther and a Male python facing an unseen audience.
Mike: "Hello there. I'm Mike from the fan fic Kung Fu Python".
Yinshen: "And I'm Yinshen from the same fan fic".
Mike: "You know Yinshen, we were actually planning on releasing this chapter a few days ago and publishing it on Valentines day"...
Yinshen: "Or for most of our audience out there, self awareness day".
Mike: ..."But since the authors laptop crashed and burned, taking all of the files down with it, we've decided to change it to another holiday based event, which seems to be so important apparently that it makes Po think he can take the next two weeks off from training".
Yinshen: "Indeed". (Yinshen smiles for a moment or two before turning to Mike with a confused expression) "What's a laptop"?
Mike: "I'll tell you later... Point is, instead of this being the Valentines day Chapter, We're going to change it to the Chinese New Year chapter".
Yinshen: "How fitting for this story"...
Mike: "So for those who do not know, Chinese new year will be taking place on the 19th of Febuary this year until the 5th of March, which is an amazing holiday which contains so many interesting decorations and celebrations"...
Yinshen: "And that this year is meant to be the Year of the Goat"...
Mike: "Even though the year of the snake is probably the best year"... (Recieves a slap round the head from Yinshen) "Ow"!
Yinshen: "Nobody asked for your opinion Mike".
Mike: (Rubs his head and mutters) " Just pointing it out...Thank goodness they don't have a year of the panther"...
Yinshen: "Moving on, Chinese new year is a holiday that many people out there should value as, like new year celebrations in any other countries, is about spending time with the ones you care about and cherish with all your heart".
Mike: "Yeah... So why the hell are you here"?
Yinshen: "Viper invited me over for the next few days".
Mike: "Oh joy... how wonderful"...
Yinshen: " Ha ha ha". "
Mike: But I won't be letting that ruin my good mood. This is the first time I've ever celebrated this holiday, so I'm looking forward to see how the next few days turn out. Plenty of delicious foods to be served, parades and parties being thrown within the street, red lanterns and so forth, all important traditions of the holiday".
Yinshen: But more importantly, is that Chinese new year is partly about the exchange of gifts". (Yinshen turns to Mike) "Speaking of which, where's my New year gift"?
Mike: "You've got to be kidding me... you couldn't wait until the end of the chapter to ask this"?!
Yinshen: "Hey, is it not better to give than recieve"?
Mike: "Yeah"...?
Yinshen: "Then start giving".
Mike: (Mike grudgingly hands over a book called the History of the four corners of the earth. Yinshens mood darkens and she hit Mike round the head with it, harder than last time). OW! What did I do now"?!
Yinshen: "I'm glad you asked Mike. (Yinshen turns to look forwards with a smile as she holds the book up to her chest) You see, not every gift given is considered to bring happiness and joy. For example, this book contains the word four. In China, the number four, when pronounced, sounds similar to the word for death. Therefore anything with the number four is considered a big no when it comes to gifts. Which means that this book is more an omen of bad than it is good".
Mike: "Oh come on! I paid fourty yuan for that book! You could at least say thank you"!
Yinshen: "Oh yeah Mike, thank you for wishing me death. You're such a thoughtful person". (Yinshen tosses the book up into the air behind her, crushing Mantis who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time)
Mike: "Yinshen, I think you crushed Mantis by accident there".
Yinshen: "Yeah... accident... Anyway, you need to get me another gift".
Mike: "How about shoes"?
Yinshen: "Shoes in China sound too similar to a word for bad luck".
Mike: "A mirror"?
Yinshen: "Believed to attract ghosts".
Mike: "A handkerchief"?
Yinshen: "People generally give handkerchiefs at the end of a funeral, and are a symbol of saying goodbye forever. So unless someone you know died, I'd avoid that gift too".
Mike: "Oh come on! That's B S! You have to be making this up"!
Yinshen: "Oh but I'm not. Ask anyone around the Jade palace and they'll agree with me in a heartbeat". (Yinshen faces forwards once more) "Many gifts can be considered to be bad luck, unfortunate, or even insulting, so if you know someone who celebrates Chinese New Year, be sure to do a little research so you know which gifts to get and which ones not to get".
Mike: "Kinda sound like the sort of thing a lot of girlfriends will remind their boyfriends so that they'll get them presents containing diamonds and gems if you ask me".
Yinshen: "Yeah, it's amazing how a simple gift can show a different meaning than originally intended, such as sharps objects, clocks or even umbrellas".
Mike: (Mike freezes up after hearing the word umbrella mentioned) "Uh... Yinshen... why are umbrellas considered unlucky gifts"...?
Yinshen: "Umbrellas in Chinese sound similar to the word Break Up, which would be an incredibly foolish to get if you're in a relationship".
(Mike shakes in fear, grabbing Yinshens attention. She sighs and crosses her arms)
Yinshen: "You got Viper an umbrella for Chinese new year didn't you"?
Mike: "I wrapped it up and left it on the bed to surprise her... Do you think the fact that it has a heart on the side of it will help the situation"...?
?: MIKE!
Yinshen: "If I were to guess... no".
Mike: (Mike starts slithering away to the right) "Well... if we're all done here, I think I hear Shifu calling for me. HappyChineseNewYeareveryonebyebye"! (Mike runs at an incredible speed. Not two seconds pass and a rather furious and upset Viper passes Yinshen, heading in the direction that Mike had just gone to)
Viper: "YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO MISTER"!
Yinshen: (Gives a small laugh) "How I became friends with such an idiot, I do not know. Happy Chinese New year to all our Chinese readers out there, and for everyone else... Happy 19th of Febuary I guess... Bye". (Yinshen waves goodbye as she calmy walks away in the opposite direction that Mike and Viper had headed).
...
Hi there guys. Foe those who don't know, it's Chinese New Year, and even though I'm not Chinese, I thought it would be interesting to do another special chapter, based on the holiday. Had to do a bit of research for it, but hopefully I managed to get the facts right. I was going to do Valentines day as mentioned earlier, only my laptop crashed and I had to end up getting a new one -_- Oh well, what can you do? Cheerio!