Training with Jounin
Chapter 6: Icha Icha vol 6
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Icha Icha vol 6, as it turned out, was the answer. Kurenai had said it, and the ninja closest to Kakashi had confirmed it.
"He reads that one most often. We're all sure it's his favorite." Kurenai had told him, whispering in the abandoned alley earlier that day. "He's usually in the middle of it, if that helps at all."
Stealing Kakashi's copy of the illustrious vol 6 had been surprisingly easy. He made a mental note to warn Kakashi that when he kissed, he completed dropped his defenses. Or maybe he wouldn't warn him…. Iruka certainly hoped that no other shinobi was going to be using that particular weakness against the copy-ninja, and it was very useful.
Yes, stealing the book had been easy. Now came the hard part: reading it. Iruka cringed just looking at the gaudy orange book. The picture in the front was nearly as disgusting- a muscular man in tight leather pants embracing (read: groping) the dainty heroine dressed in a low-cut eighteenth century dress.
Iruka made sure his apartment was secured and his windows were all covered (he often told the orphaned students he taught that they were welcome to swing by if they ever needed anything, and some of him took him up on his offer by invading his house whether or not he was home, unless it was locked down like a fortress; this literary endeavor was not one that he wanted his students to find out about) before he actually started examining the book. 'This is for Kakashi,' he reminded himself as he turned to the first page and began to read.
The plot, or what could loosely be considered 'plot' merited to the fact that it filled the space between the sex scenes, went as follows:
The good king of the fictitious kingdom of Windaria was betrayed and murdered by his right-hand general, Falstaff, who stole his throne and oppressed the people. The murdered king's son, the rightful heir Mercutio, returns from overseas to seize back the throne (Iruka thought it was quite strange that, while the entire back story and history of the kingdom earned less than a page in Icha Icha vol 6, two and a half pages were devoted to description of Mercutio's golden, wavy locks and his bulging muscles). For some reason Iruka failed to grasp, instead of rallying his people and overthrowing the imposter-king, the prince decides to dress as a servant, seduce various guards and maids to get into the castle (Iruka noted that, for this volume at least, Jiraiya was very gender-equal with the hero's trysts), and finally recruit Falstaff's lovely daughter to help him regain the crown.
It was at this point that Iruka learned that Icha Icha vol 6 was a yaoi novel. He had to admit, though Jiraiya's writing was awful and had no traces of reality, the author had at least shown surprising discretion with his (first and only, alas) work of man/man relationships; even in a village of shinobi, a pervert could walk around with the book and satisfy his (or her!) interests without broadcasting his preferences to the world. The picture of in the front and the fact that it was an Icha Icha book made it seem like a normal, hentai novel.
There was a reason Icha Icha vol 6 had a picture of a woman in front, of course. Falstaff's lovely daughter, as Mercutio discovers in a smutty bath scene, is a cross-dresser. Taking another nice deviation from reality to fill a plot-hole, the effeminate Phoenix explains that his father dressed him like a girl since childhood so that there wouldn't be any conflicts with him and his older brother over who would be his heir. Although Mercutio had planned on seducing a woman, he doesn't let gender become a barrier and sets to wooing Phoenix anyways (by this time, the writing style had become so unbearable that Iruka had started counting how many times Jiraiya used certain phrases. 'Throbbing loins' seemed to be a favorite, and was mentioned twelve times in a single chapter. 'Heaving breasts' had been popular at the beginning with the sex scenes with the castle maids, but fell into disuse in the latter part of the novel). In the final pages of the book, the 'princess' and the prince defeat Falstaff (which only took one paragraph), recrown Mercutio, and have a nice, grand-finale coronation orgy. Iruka finished the book feeling that an hour and a half of his life had been taken away from him for absolutely nothing. But he didn't have time to dwell on his loss; he had arrangements to make.
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At the exact second that 4:59 changed to five o'clock, Kakashi pounded on Iruka's door. The chuunin chuckled when he heard the eager knocking, and took his sweet time opening the door (although he knew he couldn't wait too long, or Kakashi might take the door off its hinges or break in somehow and ruin everything he'd just finished setting up). When he finally got around to deactivating the traps and unlocking the locks, Iruka found himself being dragged out of his apartment by his arm, which Kakashi had latched onto.
"Kakashi, slow down. We're not in any rush." He told him.
"Of course we are. The sooner we get to the ramen stand, the sooner we can finish dinner and move on to better things."
"For someone who is so adamant about teaching others patience, Kakashi, you seem to have very little for yourself. We'll have plenty of time later." It wasn't that Iruka wouldn't have minded hurrying through dinner to get to the dessert, but it was just so fun watching Kakashi pout. He even jutted his lip out underneath his mask and crossed his arms. His very bare arms. Shit. Kakashi was still wearing the sleeveless ANBU shirt.
"Kakashi! Can't you change into something else?" Damn it! Did he have to show that love bite off to the whole village?
"But I like this shirt. What's wrong with it?"
"You know what's wrong with it!" Iruka shouted in his best miffed teacher voice.
"I think I'll keep it on. It shows off some of my best battle scars. You know how good scars can be for conversation pieces." Kakashi said smugly.
"Kakashi, if I find out that that 'scar' has been a piece of any conversation, I'll mangle your body so much that even the Hyuuga won't be able to find your remains!"
"Oh Iruka-sensei, I love it when you're forceful like that." 'I'll show you forceful!' he thought. Iruka had to remind himself how handsome Kakashi's face was under that mask so he wouldn't take a kunai and shut him up.
"Kakashi, if you'll put on something over that shirt, I'll try to be a little faster with dinner, ok?" Iruka offered.
"Ah, no. I'm comfortable how I am. We shouldn't hurry down the path of life, you know. Patience is a virtue."
Why did Kakashi have to make every conversation such a trial? Oh well, at least Iruka would never get bored. Maybe their verbal sparring was a little bit fun… And he had gotten the jounin to stop dragging him along the streets of Konoha. Now the silver-haired man was walking leisurely, slouched over like usual. The only difference was that he was swinging the arm with the marked shoulder, drawing everyone's eye to where Iruka had bitten him. Iruka's face burned. But deep down, he felt a warmth from the jounin's pride about the love mark he had given him, and it had nothing to do embarrassment.
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Despite the fact that they'd stopped rushing, Iruka and Kakashi finished dinner only a few minutes after they arrived at the ramen stand. Neither one of them took very long to devour ramen, one because he had to be fast to avoid revealing his face, the other because he was used to eating ramen with Naruto, which was a battle for every noodle.
"Maybe we should stop somewhere for sake." Iruka suggested, once their meal was complete. Sake might make his plan for the night less mortifying.
Kakashi led his companion to another stand, filled with adults instead of ramen-hungry ninja children. He ordered a bottle as they sat down.
"So, what are our plans for tonight?" He asked casually, pouring sake for Iruka. Iruka quickly downed his little glass.
"Can't tell. It's a secret." Iruka motioned for Kakashi to pour him another cup, which he drank with the same speed.
"Are you nervous?" Kakashi asked, frowning as Iruka swigged down a third shot before he had even had his first. If he kept going at this rate, Iruka would be too drunk to do anything. The jounin reached over to take the bottle away from Iruka. Kakashi would have to take him home, helpless and inebriated. He pried his hands off of the sake bottle. The chuunin would be under his complete control, subject to his every whim. 'Maybe one more shot wouldn't hurt him,' Kakashi reasoned to himself as he surrendered the bottle.
"A little bit. But you'll like what I have planned." Iruka whispered in his ear. Kakashi watched with his one eye as Iruka's cheeks, which had been a little flushed from the quick intake of alcohol, burned brightly. He wrenched the sake away. His sexy chuunin had a plan for tonight that was making him blush deliciously, and he would be damned if he was going to let him get too drunk to go through with it!
"Then why don't we get back home and get started?" He asked. Without giving Iruka time to respond, he threw some money down on the table and transported them away.
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The night air outside of his apartment building and a cold glass of water did wonders for Iruka's slightly fuzzy head. Once he'd staved off the effects of the sake, he sat down with Kakashi, who was lying on his couch.
"Do you want to wait until nightfall, or would you rather get started now, Kakashi? I know how much you value patience." Kakashi reached up and grabbed Iruka's arm, pulling him until he was lying down on top of the older man.
"I think I've taught you enough about patience for one night. Let's go." He kissed Iruka through his mask. The sensei received the kiss and returned one on his clothed nose. The chuunin hopped up.
"All right then! Put this on." He threw something at Kakashi, and it hit him right in the face. The jounin untangled himself from the ball of cloth and found himself holding an apron. A pink, frilly apron. Did Iruka have some strange kink that Kakashi didn't know about? (He had stalked the chuunin for a solid four months, and he didn't think he'd miss something like this!)
Wait….
'"We're eating at five, and if you try to come by before then, I'll have you cleaning my house for the entire night!" ' Iruka had told him. Damn it! He didn't know Iruka had caught him. He'd only come by once, peeked into every (closed-up) window to make sure it was safe for Iruka in there…
Teachers really do have eyes in the back of their heads, huh?
"You can start with the kitchen, Kakashi. I'll be in the bathroom. Don't disturb me, ok?" Kakashi was dumbfounded. This was it? Iruka was some kind of sadist! He tied the frilly apron on and began scrubbing the kitchen. The things he did for lo…. Love? Was it? Kakashi had never been in love before, and he didn't think the love described in his Icha Icha novels was the same thing that everyone was always going on about. Was he in love with Iruka?
'You'd die for him.' His mind whispered to him. 'I'd die for any of my friends.' He shot back.
'You'd kill for him.' He was willing to do that for less people, but there were still a few friends that he had that he'd kill for if necessary.
'When you come back from missions, he's the first person you go see.' That was true, even if the chuunin wasn't aware of it. In his mind, Kakashi wasn't home unless he'd seen him. Was that love? He liked doing strange things, just to see the emotions play across Iruka's face when he saw them. He tried to make Naruto into the best ninja he could be, because Iruka wanted the kyuubi-boy to succeed. He'd shown Iruka his face, which no one had seen since Rin had transplanted Obito's sharingan eye into Kakashi's empty socket. Was that love? He wanted to go ask the chuunin, but knew he couldn't.
Kakashi realized that, while he'd been thinking, he had finished cleaning the kitchen on autopilot. He moved on to the sensei's living room, still thinking about Iruka and love.
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Iruka finished the final touches in the bathroom. He had everything set up, knew all his lines. He stripped out of his clothes and slid into the bubble bath he'd just finished filling. It was now or never.
"Kakashi! Could you come here for a moment?" He called. He heard the jounin approach the door (a courtesy by the jounin; he made noise by choice to let Iruka know where he was, a caring thing to do in a profession where breaking silence could result in death), but he didn't enter the room. "Come in!" he ordered.
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Kakashi opened the door to Iruka's bathroom and froze. As the steam cleared away, he saw what had to have been the single most arousing thing he'd seen in his life. Iruka lay in the bath tub, water dripping from his tanned skin. His chest was submerged in the water, but his legs were crossed and sticking out so far that only the barest amount of skin was covered by bubbles, preserving his modesty by mere centimeters. His dark hair was out of its usual pony-tail, and hung dripping around his face. Dark, smoldering eyes called beckoned him closer.
"So, you must be Mercutio." The tanned angel in the tub purred. Mercutio? Who was this Mercutio? He'd kill him, castrate him, make him pay for trying to steal his Iruka!
Wait a second…
"You are Mercutio, aren't you? The new servant?" Oh…oh. This couldn't be real. Kakashi pinched himself, but didn't wake up. Iruka was still in front of him, acting out the part of Phoenix. Did he know how often Kakashi had read and re-read that scene, envisioning Iruka and himself as the characters?
"Yes, your majesty. How may I serve you?" He quoted the next lines, which he had memorized long ago.
"My soap, if you please." Iruka said, waving in the direction of the bathroom cabinet. Kakashi quickly grabbed the soap and brought it back to the tub. He knew what happened next in the scene, but it involved Mercutio 'accidentally' dropping his signet ring into the tub. Kakashi didn't have a ring. Or did he? He felt a weight in his pocket. When he reached in, he felt a ring there. When had Iruka put it there? When had he dropped his guard enough for the chuunin to slip a ring into his pocket without his knowledge?
Iruka coughed politely, signaling his 'servant' to hurry up. Kakashi passed him the soap and let the ring fall into the bubble-covered water.
"I beg your forgiveness, highness!" he quoted.
"Pick it up." Iruka said haughtily. Kakashi slid his hand into the tub and began feeling around for the ring.
"I think it fell over here." Iruka whispered, taking Kakashi's hand and guiding it up his outer thigh, and stopping at the smooth, wet skin of his waist. Kakashi snagged the ring on the journey up Iruka's side, and grudgingly pulled his hand back out of the water.
Iruka reached for a bottle of shampoo and handed it to Kakashi.
"Here, take this away. I'm finished with it." As Kakashi took the bottle, he released the ring once more.
"A thousand pardons, majesty. It gets slippery when it gets wet." The jounin could barely deliver his lines without grinning. He was nearly shaking with anticipation.
"Aren't you going to get it?" Iruka asked, letting his amusement into his voice. Was that just how he interpreted Phoenix's line, or was he really enjoying this?
Kakashi reached into the tub once more, near where the ring had fallen. That place just happened to be beside Iruka's legs, which he uncrossed and spread to give Kakashi room to search. This time Kakashi, like Mercutio did in the novel, bypassed the ring and went for the real prize. Kakashi's hand closed around Iruka's erection, surprised to find him hard already, even though he knew how the scene went.
"Did you find what you're looking for?" Kakashi was leased to note that Iruka's breath hitched when he asked. Kakashi nodded.
"Then take it." Kakashi shivered. The blood was rushing out of one head and into another, but before all coherent thought abandoned him, he felt bewildered. How could he have ever doubted that he loved this man, who was making his fantasies come true? He climbed into the tub, still fully clothed and wearing the pink frilly apron. He settled in on top of Iruka and kissed him full on the lips. There wasn't much thinking after that; only feeling and splashing, moaning and touching.
He did notice when Iruka stopped moaning the cheesy porn lines and started gasping his name amidst cheesy Iruka lines, but he didn't mind that the chuunin had broken character. He loved Icha Icha, but he decided volume 6 was much better with the improvements Iruka made. So instead of whispering Mercutio's lines of love to Phoenix, Kakashi improvised a little as well. He told him he loved him much the same way, but his words were directed toward Iruka, and he meant every one of them.
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The next morning found Iruka's bathroom in a miserable state. The tub was still half-full, with the missing water pooling in the floor. A soaked tank top shirt, pair of standard issue ninja pants, a pair of shuriken boxers, and a pink apron lay balled up in the corner, soaking wet. Towels were missing from the rack (to be discovered later discarded in the hallway, still damp), and a ring sat forgotten in the chilled tub.
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The next morning found Iruka in a contented state. He lay curled up with Kakashi, hair sticking out in every direction, tickling the jounin. It was a Saturday, so he slept in long past his usual time, feeling warm and safe in the arms of the jounin.
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The next morning found Kakashi in a euphoric state. He had woken up to find out that the night of his dreams wasn't a dream at all, but reality, and that the chuunin he loved was still nestled in his arms. He let the other sleep, happy just to be able to watch the rise and fall of his chest and the slight, open-mouthed smile he wore while he dreamed.
He was going to have to tease him when he woke up, of course, for having read Icha Icha vol 6. But until then, he would relish this peaceful moment. Times like these were few and far between for a shinobi like him. He would make more memories like these, though, no matter what it took. Knowing Iruka, every day would be something worth treasuring. 'Especially tomorrow,' Kakashi thought, 'when he gets his second night.'
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Another shorter chapter. At least it has more action that last chapter. I love you, all my reviewers! If you have any suggestions, you're welcome to offer them. And if you have artistic talent and free time, or just free time, and want to draw me a picture of any of this , I would be your writing bitch for eternity.