Killer Emotions: Sorry for the long wait! But I hope the suspense is killing you,bwahahahahahahaha!
Disclaimer: She doesn't own Inuyasha now do something progressive in your lives like reading this story!
Chapter 18: Slowly the past reveals itself
If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater.
Only 2 days left before the festival and the 3 days he had was just excruciating! No it wasn't about Kouga, it wasn't about that bratty Shippou, it wasn't about Rin, not that over-bearing toad-man Jaken, not those pestering advisers and certainly not his mother.
It was about HIS fiancée Kagome and his older BROTHER Sesshomaru.
For three days for some strange and bizarre reason those two have been busy together and every time Inuyasha asks why they said it's some business deal or what other lame excuses they could come up. They can't fool him! He knows that there is something going on between the two of them.
After meals they would see each other privately but Inuyasha has been spying on them. He saw them talking in the library, they met in the gardens and he even found them in the training grounds, they think that they could fool anyone that they are training but he knows they are talking about something, no they could not fool him!
How did this happen? Inuyasha couldn't think of any possible reason unless…..they have…no! He couldn't think that way. Kagome couldn't be………and certainly Sesshomaru could not have……it's NOT a possibility….right?
Inuyasha needs to talk to Kagome alone and he'll do whatever means necessary for her to fess up, he just hopes that what he is thinking right now will be proven wrong. Kagome…he hopes she doesn't have something for Sesshomaru….
Inuyasha can feel his heart aching and burning. The pain he's having right now is worse than the 100 youkais that injured him when he was 15 yrs old for training. No this is much worse indeed.
Sigh
Inuyasha looks at the velvet box on his bedroom drawer.
"I hope it's really worth it……."
Kagome in her navy blue German gown inset which is worn over the classic chemise that extends to the floor. The inset provides a lift of her bosom and holds in her tummy.
Her feet covered with lace boots carried her down to the mounds with her hands holding on the bow and hanging on her back is a case of arrows.
"Archery again?"
Kagome gasped and turned around to see Inuyasha on his white buttoned shirt tucked in with his black breeches and black boots that went straight up to his knees.
"You never learn your lesson, do you?", she said. Inuyasha shrugged.
"That's what I always hear", he remarked as he walks to her side.
"Do you mind if I come along?", he asked.
"Not at all"
Then the two walked together side-by-side to the mounds.
Another direct hit on the bulls-eye
"Very impressive, you're actually accurate", he taunted. Kagome placed her hands on her hips.
"Excuse me but I have always hit the target", she confirmed. Inuyasha snorted as he aimlessly walked around the grass, staring at the cloudy sky with a blank stare. Kagome noticed his strange behavior so she approached in front of him.
"Anything wrong?", she asked. He slowly looked down at her considering that he's a foot taller than her.
"You"
Kagome has a perplex look on her face.
"I don't understand….what did I do?"
"What have you been doing with Sesshomaru?", he asked with a hint of anger in his tone. Kagome sighed exasperatingly.
"I told you, there's nothing going on between us. We're just doing something and we're almost finished with it", she answered but Inuyasha still doubts her.
"Oh? And what were you two finishing?", he responded with doubt and Kagome sensed it and that hurt her for he didn't trust her at all. She mustered up her strength and looked at him evenly.
"I don't need to say anything to you. I don't need to tell you about what I do and who I do it with.", she said firmly. Inuyasha glared at her but that didn't faze her. She won't back down.
"Fine then. See if I care about whatever you do", he retorted then quickly left.
Kagome's lips are trembling and not because of fear on what he said, it's because she's hurt. She bit her lip, trying to stop the trembling within her.
"Why couldn't he trust me…..", she sobbed as she wiped a tear from her eye.
"He's just misunderstood because he doesn't know anything. I just have to be patient with him. Everything will work out in the end", she reasoned herself.
"I hope it's worth it…….."
Then she continued with her training, staring aimlessly on the bulls-eye. Then all of a sudden all she could see is darkness. It seems that someone has covered her eyes with their hands.
"Guess who?"
Sesshomaru watched his younger brother calmly. The younger man in front of him had suddenly barged in his study room while Sesshomaru was doing paperwork, not too mention Inuyasha's as well.
"Would you mind hurrying it up, I'm busy here", he stated as he returned back to his work.
"Bastard!"
Sessoshomaru quirk a brow at him.
"Pardon me?"
"Don't act civil with me Sesshomaru. I demand an explanation!"
"I don't need to explain anything to you", Sesshomaru responded, ignoring Inuyasha as he read the papers.
"Oh yes you do! I want to know what the hell is going on between you and Kagome!"
"There's nothing going on between us", he answered in nonchalant.
"Then care to explain on why you two have been meeting each other privately?", he said with a sickening look on his face.
"You make me sick", Inuyasha added.
Sesshomaru has had enough. He stood up as he slammed his hands on the desk, making the papers fly from their place.
"You're the one who should be ashamed Inuyasha for you do not give her your trust at all. Why do you doubt her? Has she ever doubted you before? I don't know why you are questioning such nonsense! Right now I pity the woman for being engaged to someone who won't even trust her at all for she has done nothing wrong to you!", Sesshomaru roared, his gold-amber eyes displaying anger, irritation but most of all disgust.
Inuyasha is speechless, his eyes showing guilt so he placed his head down, his long white bangs covering the shameful look in his eyes.
Sesshomaru let out a sigh and slumped down to his chair, resting his head on his hand as he looked at his brother with a tiring look.
"Go to your room Inuyasha that way you won't frustrate or hurt anyone else", but yourself, he silently said to himself. Inuyasha just nodded then quietly left the room.
Sesshomaru rubbed his temples, his face showing weariness and fatigue.
"That woman owes me", he said amusingly then he continued finishing his paper work for the day.
"What the heck? What are you doing here? When did you get here?", Kagome rambled on to her companion who just giggled at her, dark brown eyes glittering with amusement..
"Oh is that a way to say hello to your best friend", she said as she placed her hands on her hips. Kagome laughed.
"Sorry Sango, HI!", she exclaimed as she gave Sango a hug.
"That's more like it", Sango grinned then they released each other.
"Now to answer your questions in respective order: I came here to visit you and I arrived here just a few minutes ago", she answered with a playful look on her face.
"Heh! But why?", Kagome asked. Sango quirk a brow
"Why not?", she countered.
"Point taken", Kagome answered. Sango smirked.
"Who else came with you?"
"Miroku and Souta are here, I think they got lost somewhere", Sango answered and Kagome giggled then she saw two figures coming their way.
"Speak of the devils, here they come", said Kagome as Miroku and Souta are running towards them, whey they got to them they stopped and panted, trying to catch their breaths.
"Hey squirt", said Kagome as she ruffled Souta's hair.
"Kagome! My fair maiden…pant… just looking at pant you takes my breath pant away….", Miroku wheezed out. Kagome laughed.
"Takes your breath away alright", Sango remarked then Miroku and Souta finally composed themselves. An idea popped in Kagome's head.
"Since you two are here why don't the two of you help me with hand-to-hand combat skills", she said. Sango and Miroku gave her a questioning look.
"What for?", asked Miroku
"Because I'm going to endure a hand-to-hand combat tournament in the festival which will be in two days", Kagome explained
"Why are you even joining that anyway?", Souta asked, not understanding what's going on.
"Well the advisers put me in it, it's a test", she briefed. The three still looks confuse, Kagome let out an exasperating sigh.
"I'll just explain it to you guys later okay? I need to train right now!", she exclaimed.
Her friends blinked then shrugged, agreeing to whatever she said.
"Since Miroku had his staff with him already why don't you two start while I get my Hiraikotsu", she said then she ran back inside to the castle.
"So she did bring her Hiraikotsu", Kagome comment and Miroku nodded.
"She never leaves without it", Miroku remarked. Souta looked around the place.
"Hey sis, where's Inuyasha?", the boy asked. Kagome shrugged.
"Why don't you go back inside the castle Souta, there are two kids you could hang around with", Kagome suggested. Souta nodded.
"Sure, got nothing to do anyway.", he said then left as he went back inside the castle. Kagome let out a sigh of relief.
"Now that no one else is here, the two of us can talk", said Kagome. Miroku looked skeptically at her.
"What is this about Kagome?", he questioned, he has an uneasy feeling about what she's about to say. Kagome gave him a sympathetic look.
"Miroku, you're father is here"
"He's dead", he said too quickly, showing the anxiety in his voice. Kagome shook her head.
"No Miroku, he is here, in this very castle. He's an advisor in this kingdom", she explained. Miroku looked at her in disbelief.
"How could this be………"
"Miroku if you want to know everything, the truth, just go to him and he will answer whatever questions you have", she said. Miroku looked away, trying to regain his thoughts from the shock of surprise.
"We'll just see…..", was all he said then Sango arrived with her huge tan boomerang and she changed into her warrior clothes.
"Ok lets start training you Kagome, prepare yourself cause I am not going easy on you", Sango remarked.
"No problem", Kagome replied. Sango turned back to Miroku.
"Ready Miroku?"
Miroku turned, plastering a happy face from his gloomy expression.
"Let's get this thing over with then", he replied
"You're the one who should be ashamed Inuyasha for you do not give her your trust at all. Why do you doubt her? Has she ever doubted you before? I don't know why you are questioning such nonsense! Right now I pity the woman for being engaged to someone who won't even trust her at all for she has done nothing wrong to you!"
Sighing on his bed, Inuyasha reflects on his encounter with Sesshomaru and Kagome awhile ago.
"I don't need to say anything to you. I don't need to tell you about what I do and who I do it with."
He groaned. He realized that he has been a jerk to them both. He judged them even though he has no idea what's really going on between the two of them. Why did he do that? Why did he become so angry to them both? Whenever he sees the two of them alone something just snapped in him.
You're jealous
Was that his conscience talking to him?
Stop acting like a dumbass you dumbass!
It sure acts like me, he mused.
Would you listen to me!
Fine, I'm listening. What do you want? It's kinda strange talking to myself let alone my conscience, he thought to himself
Well get used to it buddy cause I'm not leaving until you hear me out
Well what is it already?
I want you to trust Kagome
Not this crap again
Oh yes, this again and it's not crap. You're the one who's crap!
Say what!
Oh shut up you baka! Listen, I know that you are suspicious about Kagome and Sesshomaru but there's nothing to worry about.
What makes you so sure?
I'm your conscience, I know. Don't question me!
Why?
Ugh! You should really learn to trust people or else you're losing the people you love.
I don't love anyone
Not even Kagome?
I-I….I don't love her
Then why are you jealous?
I AM NOT JEALOUS!
If you're not then why are you angry? You don't need to lose your cool over it then.
Shut up!
…………………………
Inuyasha blinked. Did his conscience finally listen to him?
Not a chance buddy
Oh hell no!
Let me ask you this question
Inuyasha rolled his eyes. Go ahead it's not like I can stop you anyway.
Damn right! Anyway, my question is. Do you really care for Kagome?
…………………
INUYASHA!
All right! Yes I do damnit but what has this got to do with anything!
EVERYTHING!
Inuyasha quirk a brow. What the hell do you mean?
I'm saying that if you really care for her then you shouldn't doubt her. I really don't know what relationship do you have with your fiancée right now but as a friend you should at least trust her like she does to you.
What makes you think that she even trusts me?
Did she ever show any doubt to you?
No
Does she think that you're disloyal?
No
Does she question your motives?
No
Then what the hell do you call that then!
Inuyasha let out a sigh. Ok ok ok…… I get your point.
Finally learned your lesson?
I could have understood that without you
Suuuuuuuurrreeeeeee………….you can. Anyway since my job here is done I'll be on my merry way. Trust, Inuyasha, trust.
Yeah yeah…..I get ya yeesh!
Inuyasha sat up from his bed with a new revelation with himself.
Oh! I almost forgot
Inuyasha groaned. What now?
You'll have to apologize to Kagome
WHAT!
DO IT!
Inuyasha growled. FINE FINE! I'll do it! Now leave me alone!
Good good, bye!
"God! Conscience is a pain in the ass, right now in my ass……", Inuyasha muttered.
"Go on Miroku! Knock the door", Kagome whispered as the she, Sango and Miroku are in front of Hoshi's bedroom door where in the other side of the door is Miroku's father which Miroku doubts that he really is his father.
Miroku was about to knock the door for the 4th time but then his doubts came over him.
"You know what this is just a waste-", then all of a sudden Sango pinned Miroku on the wall using her Hiraikotsu.
"If you don't go in there I'm going to pummel your sorry ass and cut your hands, that way you won't even have the pleasure of touching a woman ever again", Sango threatened, her dark brown eyes gleaming with murder.
Miroku gulped then nodded.
He approached the door again then knocked it 3 times.
"Come in", was the reply then hesitantly Miroku turned the knob and opened the door. He went inside then closed the door leaving the two girls with excitement and worry.
"You seem to control him very well", Kagome commented with an amusing look.
"Heh! That's nothing since his weakness is women anyway", she said dryly
"But it seems that he listens particularly to you", Kagome responded. Sango had a taint of pink on her cheeks then she shrugged trying to calm herself down.
"I don't know what you're talking about, anyway let's go to the hot springs for relaxation plus I want to hear everything on what's going on with you here", said Sango, trying to divert the conversation to Kagome, thankfully she succeeded for Kagome nodded her head.
"Sure sure, lets just go to our rooms and get extra clothes. They have the necessities in the hot springs anyway", was her reply then the two girls went up the stairs to their rooms as they reached the 2nd floor they parted for their rooms are on opposite sides on one of the wings of the palace.
Kagome hummed along the way to occupy herself until she reaches her room then she heard a door opening. Kagome feels like time has stopped right then when she saw Inuyasha coming out of his room and the same with Inuyasha.
Inuyasha gaze at her with his intense golden eyes while Kagome with her astonished chocolate eyes. Kagome was the first one to look away then went on ahead as she passed him. Inuyasha clenched his fist as if he was trying to come up of something to say.
"I'm….I'm sorry!", he exclaimed.
Kagome paused, her eyes snapped open, shock at the turn of events.
Did he just say sorry?
They stayed quiet for awhile. Kagome's heart skip a beat, anticipating and waiting anxiously for him to say something else but as minutes passed there was no response. She let out a sad sigh then continued walking.
"Wait!"
Feeling agitated, she turned around with a glare.
"What is it now?", she asked impatiently, an irritable look on her face. Inuyasha feels there's a frog stuck in his throat.
"I-I-I'm…..I'm sorry Kagome….", he said melancholy his eyes showing guilt and hoping for acceptance of his apology.
"Why….why would you say sorry?", she asks, her lips trembling.
"It's….because of….I…I was wrong", he said hesitantly, gritting his teeth. Kagome had a puzzling look on her face. Sure he should say sorry but she's not quite sure of what he was wrong about.
"I was wrong for not trusting you and for that I'm sorry", he said with all the courage he could muster within himself.
Kagome smiled a genuine smile, for some reason his apology and they way he says it to her like it was his last, it makes her feel very happy, overjoyed and appreciated of her worth.
"Apology accepted", she said then she walked away again. Inuyasha's lips curved into a small smile then walked the other way.
"Inuyasha!", she called out. He paused then turned back to her with a questioning look.
"And I'm sorry for judging you. It seems that you're not only a jerk after all", she said with an amusing smile. Inuyasha smirked.
"Keh!", was all he said then the two parted ways.
"I've misjudged you", said Miroku as he gave a look of sympathy to Hoshi whom he accepted as his true father.
"I wouldn't blame you. I understand that you hate me for what I've done, for abandoning you while you were still young, having no experience of having a father. I regret leaving you", Hoshi somberly apologized to his son.
"I'm glad that I have the chance on seeing you again", said Miroku then instantly embraced his old man. Hoshi had a tear in his eye and he wasn't ashamed of showing such emotion, like gratitude and happiness.
"I think we have to thank Kagome for this", Hoshi mused while Miroku went back to his seat and he chuckled.
"Perhaps you're right."
"I'm an advisor boy of course I'm right", Hoshi said cockily with a grin of mirth. Miroku scoffed.
"Speaking of which, Kagome told me that the advisors are giving her tests. For what?"
"Yes that's true. It's a test to prove if she is worthy to be a queen of this kingdom", Hoshi explained.
"Without a doubt Kagome will succeed", Miroku said with confident. Hoshi nodded with a slight look of approval.
"Perhaps but I know she will suffer mentally and emotionally on the 3rd test", said Hoshi. Miroku looks curious.
"What's the 3rd test about?", Miroku noticed a dark look on his father's face.
"I won't give any detail all I could say is that it involves her past that she wishes to forget or trying to heal from"
Miroku took a minute to think about it then he had a look of bewilderment.
"How could you put that man into this!", Miroku exclaimed.
"Calm down, I know what I'm doing. Just trust me here", he said trying to calm Miroku down.
"Do you think it's wise to do this?", Miroku asked with uncertainty and doubt in his voice.
"This is our way of choosing the future queen for this kingdom and it will not only affect Kagome but Inuyasha as well", Miroku quirk a brow.
"You think he…."
"It's possible", said Hoshi, understanding what he was meant to say
"But I'm not sure if Kagome still can…….."
"You said without a doubt that Kagome will succeed", he countered.
"Yeah but after you told me about involving that man in the test, I'm having doubts now and I don't think this is right"
"It is all for the sake of the kingdom's future", said Hoshi. Miroku had a sad look on his face.
"Life of royalty is really tougher than I thought", Miroku remarked.
"My boy, you have no idea what it feels like"
"Come one Kagome! Hurry up and get in the hot spring already!", Sango exclaimed to her friend who is wrapped with a towel on her body. Kagome slowly and gently went into the hot spring, she gradually settled down and relaxed.
"Nice huh?"
"You said it, I wonder why I haven't done this the first time I came here", said Kagome, feeling her stresses waning from her as she relaxes in the onsen.
"That's because you're busy spending time with Inuyasha", she teased.
"We don't spend time together", Kagome argued, her cheeks reddening from embarrassment. Sango laughed as she noticed her friend flushing like a girl in love.
"You can't fool me Kagome, you're blushing and when I mentioned Inuyasha your eyes tell me a different story", she remarked.
Damn she's good!
"Weeeeeeeellllll?"
Kagome let out a frustrating sigh.
"Alright, so I did spend some time with him. So what! It doesn't mean anything", she retorted then she turned around, hiding her flushed face. She's not sure if the sudden heat is coming from the onsen or her.
"This is the first time that I see you denying something even though you already know the truth", said Sango.
"I just don't want history to repeat itself", Kagome muttered as she turned around again, facing her best friend. Sango gave her a sympathetic look then she gasped.
"What?", Kagome asked then Sango pointed something on her chest.
"That scar……", Sango whispered, Kagome looked down to see a long scar between her breasts.
"Oh this…..hehe! Yeah it's still there", Kagome remarked.
"But it has been 3 years and yet that scar is still there"
"And always will be", Kagome responded as she gently touched the scar that holds a secret memory in her past that she will never forget for that scar will always remain there.
Sango had a skeptical look on her face.
"Even though I don't know Inuyasha that much but I believe he won't do that to you"
"This was an accident!", she exclaimed, referring to the scar. Sango shook her head.
"You know what I mean…..", Sango implied.
"Oh…..", Sango could see the doubt in her friend's face. Kagome looked away, hiding whatever emotion is showing on her face.
"To hell with that", Kagome hissed
"Do you really doubt him Kagome?", she answered back, silencing Kagome.
"Think about it. You know Inuyasha more than I do. Do you think he has the heart to do that you?"
"I…I don't know…."
"Why don't you give it a chance?"
Kagome has an uneasy feeling within herself. She feels uncertain, hesitant, undecided, unready and most of all she's afraid. She shouldn't do this. There's no reason to do this. No more reason, no more inspiration and no more love. How could she love when she-
"Hellooooooooo Kagome, are you still there? Stop daydreaming", Sango's voice echoed in her mind. Kagome snapped out of her reverie and noticed Sango's hand waving in front of her face.
"Oops, must have dozed-off right there", Kagome uttered with a sheepish grin.
"You think", Sango responded.
"Anyway, tell me your fantabulous adventure here in the Inu Taisho Kingdom", Sango said with exaggeration of excitement in her voice. Kagome laughed at her best friend's antics then she narrated her story on what she did in the Inu Kingdom while her mind wanders about her thoughts.
Inuyasha I may be unfair to you but I don't want to….not yet…..or maybe never…
Oh my god! Never she said! Does this mean that Kagome will never give Inuyasha a chance of her heart?
And who is this man that the two girls speak of. Find out in the next chapter!
Oh! I hope you find the conscience part funny, hahahaha!
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