Chapter 15: A Hard Day's Night

Charlotte Charles half-expected to open the door and find her mummified father standing before her. She wished she could say with certainty that she would be happy to see him, but in light of how he left, and the fact that she had not yet gotten round to telling Lily and Vivian about his undeadness, she was not so sure...

It was with much relief then that she found Gwen and Gene- here to share their last day with her.

"Bonjour," cooed the flight attendant.

"Are your parents home?" asked the pilot.

"Almost always," Chuck sighed.

To their credit, the Darling Mermaid Darlings had at least ventured out onto the balcony today. They were not quite ready to go sight-seeing just yet, but it was a start…

"Guys, meet Gwen and Gene. My volunteer tour guides."

Vivian beamed and leaned across the wrought-iron table. "Enchantée," she warbled, extending a Bellini-free hand.

"Yeah, what she said." Lily leaned back in her chair to better appraise the pair. "I take it we have you to thank for the new rooms. How're you finding our old shoe box?"

"Cozy," Gene said diplomatically. "How're you finding the view?"

"A lot better now that it includes you."

It took Chuck a moment to realize that her mother was trying to flirt with her new friend. For a few seconds she was rendered incoherent with embarrassment, spluttering wordlessly while Gwen laughed out loud and Eugene grinned at his shoes.

"Mom!"

"Whaaaat, it was a compliment! I can't pay a compliment in the City of Love?"

Chuck shook her head, resolutely resisting the smile that tugged at her mouth. "You have had one too many Bellinis, missy. We will talk about this when I get home."

She started to usher her friends away, but they hung back.

"You two don't wanna come with?" Gwen inquired.

"Yeah, our tours are awesome," Eugene added. "Mostly because they're free."

Lily and Vivian looked at each other for a minute, silently communicating something that Chuck could not decipher. She fully expected them to say no, and was profoundly discombobulated when her aunt replied:

"Well, all right, if you insist!"

Chuck shook her head as if to clear it of cobwebs... "Wait, sorry, my ears must still be plugged up from the plane ride. Did I just hear you agree to go out - with little to no resistance - in a strange land with strange people? Strange 'unfamiliar', not strange 'odd'," she added for clarity's sake.

Lily waved her hand as if years of family history were an inconsequential fly. "Don't take it personally, kiddo. Things change."

And they were on their feet before she could grasp what was happening. Gwen and Gene seemed genuinely happy with it all, but Chuck had a strange feeling…

Perhaps she was just thrown off by the thought of her guardians so readily stepping outside with her, after she had tried everything short of tying them up and dragging them through the front door.

Or perhaps it was the candy cane button she had stashed in her pocket...

At that moment it occurred to the girl named Chuck that she might have to tell the truth about her father. Sooner than later…

XXX

The Pie Maker owed his dog a walk. Digby seemed to feel the same, for as soon as the winter gloves came on and the leash came out, he began bounding about like he had springs in his paws, stopping only to scratch at the door. He could hardly sit still long enough to allow the leash to be attached, and once it clicked into place he dragged his owner out into the hallway.

"Eeeasy, buddy. I thought I was supposed to be walking you…"

Ned hesitated outside Olive's door, wondering if she might want to join him with Pigby. But it was getting late, and he would probably prefer the quiet anyway.

And so they headed out alone together, Digby walking his human for a good twenty minutes while The Pie Maker stared absently into the middle distance…

During those minutes he thought of nothing but his new, normal life, and was surprised to find that it did not excite him the way he thought it would. Perhaps because no fundamental change had occurred within or around him…

Chuck was still a world away. Digby was with him, but just as untouchable. The Poppy Temple People were still dead by his hand (and yes, they had supposedly meant to die, but that was no more comforting than if he pushed them off a cliff before they had a chance to jump).

It felt like an empty gesture, renouncing his powers. He would never truly be free of them. But he could pretend, and maybe in time they would atrophy – if not fade away completely – like a neglected muscle…

As the Pie Maker began to take notice of his surroundings again, he realized that they had broken away from their usual nighttime route, and were headed towards the park.

"Nooo," he intoned, in his bossy dog-owner voice. "Not tonight, Dig."

He made a U-turn and almost collided with the man behind him. Ned was just starting to apologize when he realized they had met before...

"We meet again."

The Pie Maker froze, not quite knowing what to say or do. And so Digby responded for him, growling rather uncharacteristically.

"Control your animal, please. You wouldn't want him to be put down, would you?"

This was Godfrey Gillard, aka Clancy Treadwell, aka the Dead Doctor Somehow Alive Again. Olive and Emerson had filled Ned in on the little they learned about the man's identity, and history.

But he hadn't been in the frame of mind to understand it all. He wasn't even sure he wanted to understand it all…

"Can I...help you?"

"As a matter of fact, you can," he said, tucking his hands into his overcoat pockets. "I'd like to talk."

Ned wound his hand around the leash, eyes never leaving the man as he slowly reeled Digby back. "Um, I'm pretty tired? So this might not be the best time...or place...on account of it being cold and dark and...devoid of any potential witnesses. Maybe come by the Pie Hole tomorrow morn-?"

"It concerns your father. And your powers."

For a moment the Pie Maker forgot to worry, as curiosity took hold of him. What did Treadwell know about his father? What did he know about his powers...?

"Come with me and I'll tell you all you need to know."

That sounded, as Emerson might say, like the kind of idea that made bad ideas feel good about themselves. The Pie Maker shook his head. He did not want to know.

Treadwell nodded as if he understood, then, wordlessly, he pulled a pistol from his pocket and leveled it at the Pie Maker. Digby growled louder than ever…

"That was an order, Ned. Not a request."

XXX

"You better have a good reason for interrupting my beauty sleep, Mister."

"Well, you said I should keep you updated."

"Yeah, keep me updated, not keep me up."

"Hardy har har…"

Emerson stood squeezed into a phone booth, hat pulled down low to shield his eyes from the glaring flourescent lights. Considering the fact that he still had an hour on the bus and he had decided to use his bathroom break to call, he was not particularly sorry for getting Olive Snook out of her cozy bed…

"Find any leads?"

"Yeah. Looks like a random proximity killin'. The funeral director died on the same day Treadwell was supposed to be laid to rest. According to his daughter he was healthy as a horse."

"Well, that's as close to a confirmation as we're gonna get for no– ow!"

"What? What the hell happened?"

"…Pigby," she grumbled while her pet snuffled and squealed in the background. "Little bacon roll's been agitatin' for my attention since I woke up. I think he needs to use the bathroom. I better take him, before he turns this place into a pigsty like he did the last time…"

"Spare me the gory details and tell me how Doughboy's doin'."

"Not great. We threw out all the fruit today. And I mean all."

The PI sighed. "Well, some lucky dumpster-diver's gonna be gettin' their five-a-day for the next few weeks."

"Heh. How's that for a silver lining…?"

A few meters away the bus driver hooted, and Emerson realized all the other passengers had gotten back onboard.

"I gotta go. Just like that pig o' yours…"

He hung up as the driver began to rev his engine pointedly. With a heavy sigh Emerson made his way to the bus, muttering under his breath about not getting paid for any of this.

A/N: So nobody knows where Ned is O_o And soon, neither will Ned...