AN: Ok, so I was watching MTVs "Yo Momma" when a voice told me to write this fic. So if you don't like it, blame the voice. Some of the insults I came up with the rest I got from friends, my brother, the internet, etc. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Warning: Some, if not, major OOC here.

Ok, well, this is an AU spoof to episode 21, Naoko Akagi doesn't strangle little Rei after being called an "old hag", instead she gets into a rather "childish" fight with Gendo. Let's begin, shall we?

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Little Rei is looking for Gendo but gets lost and finds Naoko instead.

Naoko: "But, how will you get home by yourself?" (or something like that)

Little Rei: "That is none of your business, old hag."

Naoko: "What...did you just call me?"

Little Rei: "I can find my way by myself. Old Hag."

Naoko: "You shouldn't call a person an "old hag", Rei."

Little Rei: "Why not? You are an old hag, aren't you?"

Naoko: "I am getting mad! Gendo is going to give you a spanking later."

Little Rei: "But he's the one who calls you that."

Naoko: "W-WHAT!"

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Naoko picks up Little Rei and carries her off to her office and gives her a Quaker Oats Chewy Granola Bar. She leaves Little Rei there and proceeds to hunt down Gendo. She finds him in his office and the childish carnage begins.

Naoko: storms in Gendo's office and slams the door "Y-YOU SON-OF-A-BI….."

Gendo: "WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM! You can't come storming in here like you own the damn place! I'm in the middle of a conference here!"

Naoko: "To hell with your conference! snatches the phone away from Gendo and hangs up on Chairman Keel Where do you get off calling me an "Old Hag"?"

Gendo: now pissed "Well you are old - you know what they say about the truth, it will set you free."

Naoko: mouth dropped, she couldn't believe this

Gendo: realizing he had obviously struck a chord in the poor woman, he continued to insult her smiling evilly "And your fat too. In fact, you're old, fat, and ugly - I would even go as far to say, "Naoko, you're so damn ugly that when you sit on a sand dune at the beach, cats try to bury you.""

Naoko: face began to turn red with fury

Gendo: "I bet when you were a kid - which was a very long time ago - your parents had to tie a steak around your neck so the dog would play with you."

Naoko: face began to turn even redder

Gendo: "You know what? Maybe I shouldn't call you ugly, you're more of a cross between ugly and fucking ugly. I know I'll call you fuugly!"

Naoko: now furious (two can play at this game) "Why you little pussy whipped, bitch ass, man hoe! I don't even know what I saw in you to begin with. sarcastically Oh yeah, now I remember, I felt sorry for you after hearing about you getting fired from your last job at the sperm bank - after your boss caught you "drinking" on the job."

Gendo: pushes his glasses back up his nose

Naoko: "You know what Gendo? I bet with a "drinking" habit like that, Chairman Keel will be sure to promote you to "Commander" one day. Your old boss might not have appreciated your skills but Chairman Keel most certainly will."

Gendo: still sitting at his desk, getting more pissed

Naoko: smiling evilly "What's the matter Gendo? Worried your talent might be a little off key. Don't worry, just remember practice makes perfect. Why I bet Fuyutsuki would be glad to lend you a helping…"

Gendo: (interrupts) He has had about enough of Naoko Naoko, do you have any thing important to say to me? If not, please leave I have more pressing matters to attended to."

Naoko: "Oh, such as, buying an imitation of a fake Rolex. Oh, that's right, you don't have to buy anything with cash. All you have to do is get down on both knees and op-"

Gendo: (interrupts) looks up at her and picks up the phone "I'll only ask you again to please leave my office."

Naoko: proceeds to sit on Gendo's desk and crosses her legs "I'm not leaving."

Gendo: "I'm going to call security and have you not only removed from my office but, from the building itself as well. Now please leave."

Naoko: starts singing the "Whistle Song" "Open up put it in, let's begin."

Gendo: now furious "Ok, you now have until the time I count to three to hall your old skank ass outta my office, before I throw your ass outta here via the fucking window."

Naoko: "Save your breath, Gendo,...your only here at Gehirn for one reason and one reason only - and it ain't got nothing to with your wife's work. You know what everyone says about you - your like a shotgun - first he cocks...then he blows."

Gendo: "Why you mean old bitch!"

Naoko: "Oh, don't even act surprised ,Gendo, you know I really didn't think you were that stupid. Well, I take that back, remember that time I threw you a penny for sex, and you gave me change."

Gendo: "Yeah, I must've been stupid - I got up with you didn't I."

Naoko: "I mustn't have been to bad seeing on how you came back for seconds."

Gendo: "Bitch, your so nasty the government ought to make you wear a Biohazard warning."

Naoko: "I'm NASTY! I'm NASTY! in a ghetto voice WHATEVER!"

Gendo: "Whatever my ass! The last time I ate at your restaurant I got food poisoning."

Naoko: "Hey, do you smell that? Eww! What is that stench….wait a minute its coming from you. Why do you smell funny?"

Gendo: "It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...let alone used it."

Naoko: "No it smells more like Man - sex!" burst out laughing

Gendo: "At least I can get a man…uh…wait! That came out wrong!"

Naoko falls off of Gendo's desk laughing. Gendo feels so embarrassed and to make matters worse Fuyutsuki, hearing the commotion walks into Gendo's office.

Fuyutsuki: "What's going on in here?"

Gendo: "Fuyutsuki, thank God! This ugly, fat, old bitch came in here…"

Naoko: "Who are you calling old, fat and ugly, bitch."

Gendo: "Your so ugly you put Marilyn Manson out of business."

Naoko: "Tell me something Gendo, when you and Chairman Keel decide to play "bump-n-grind", are you always on the receiving end?"

Gendo: "NO! I mean its none of your business! Fuyutsuki get this bitch outta here please?"

Fuyutsuki: "Okay, I'll ask again, what is going on in here."

Naoko: "This little pussy called me an "Old Hag""

Gendo: "This "Old Hag" barged in my office and started screaming obscenities at me."

Naoko: "Did not!"

Gendo: "Did to!"

Naoko: "Did not!"

Gendo: "Did to!"

Naoko: "Did not!"

Gendo: "Did to!"

Fuyutsuki just shook his head and turned around heading back out of Gendo's office.

Fuyutsuki: "Hmm…children. I don't guess I'll ever be to old for this."

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Well I hope it wasn't too bad. Anyway, until next time.