(A/N) This author's note gets to be so pointless when you put up multiple chapters in one sitting. I hate you all! Except I don't hate the people who just read that last sentence. Fully covered, gotta love it.
Disclaimer: I….LOVE…the Teen Titans. They rock. I don't own them, but who can really own what they love? If you love it, set it free. If it loves you, it'll return.
The Annotated Raven – August 10th
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11:45 p.m.
We just got back from catching Mad Mod…again. He's got to be one of the most annoying villains we fight, except for Mumbo. Robin and I were going to go get something to eat when the alarm went off. It's so frustrating. I was going to talk to him about how we feel about each other.
I just read that last sentence. Have I really come to this? I guess for somebody so new to all this relationship stuff that I'm bound to sound pathetic.
I'm glad I started watching him do his morning workouts. He looks…O.K., I know what the right word to use is, and I just can't believe I've gotten to the point where I'm using it. He looks hot. He builds up a good sweat and just pummels the stuffing out of a kick bag. I could watch him all day.
Starfire watches him most mornings too. We talk while he works out. It's kind of nice, but I feel weird when I know why we're both there. She started to notice too and we talked about that. It was one of the strangest conversations I've ever had. She wasn't angry; she doesn't know what he's feeling. She's confused about how he acted when Trigon came and is too shy to ask him about it. I don't have the heart to say what I think. It might crush her.
This is so much stranger than it was with Malchior. With him, there was only him. There wasn't anybody else who even knew he existed, literally. He only had me. This is…a lot freakier. Robin and Star have been looking like something was going to happen between them forever, but he never did anything. He just smiles at her and keeps on just doing his normal stuff. He and I have been out a few times now and I keep getting these knowing smiles from him, like this is some cool secret we share. I'm going to just let everything out into the open soon. It's nice having the secret, but it's got to be better if we share the secret with each other at least. Maybe tomorrow.
Affection says I have to put how I'm worried about what this will do to mine and Starfire's friendship. I'm scared. She's such an emotional person, and I don't want to be the one to tell her. It's cowardly, but I don't think I could handle looking in her eyes when she found out. I don't want her to hate me. This would be so much easier if she liked Beast Boy or Cyborg.
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I think I'm going insane. I keep getting more and more random in my thoughts when I'm left alone and it's quiet. When other people are around it makes it easier for me to keep it all inside, but when I'm alone I keep having to yell out and talk in funny or strange voices. It's like my mind is a TV with some hyper kid flipping through the channels as fast as he can. At the very least, it's entertaining, but I worry about the rest of society being accepting enough to not have me incarcerated for acting that way. That's why other people being around helps me keep this all pushed aside. Fear of societal acceptance of my abnormalities and of being institutionalized is keeping me from being a raving loon. A review is a perfectly acceptable thing if you have something to say about the story. E-mail is more appropriate for the obvious things people always say when someone else says their sanity is slipping away. It all tends to be words of humor or encouragement. Wouldn't proper counseling or psychoanalysis be more fitting?