Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Naruto or "A Thousand Miles."
Drowning In Your Memory
It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder if you ever
Think of me
'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories
Every day it gets harder and harder to smile. I don't worry about it though, since there's no one around to notice anyway. Sure there's Ero-sennin, but he's either too drunk or too busy being a pervert to notice my new mood. I try to smile every morning when I look at myself in the mirror, but it's just getting weaker and weaker.
I try to keep busy with training, and it usually keeps me from thinking much beyond what exercises I should start on next. 'Cause the thing is, if I don't keep busy, then my thoughts like to drift towards you and thoughts of you are painful right now.
But no matter how well I distract myself during the day, I can't keep the dreams away. I tried working myself to complete exhaustion, but that only led to me sleeping in for a few more hours, hours that were filled with more dreams of you.
Most of my dreams are memories now. At one point I dreamed about our future, but now all I dream about is our past. It worries me. Why can't I imagine a future for us anymore? I know any future I dream up will never turn into reality, but why have I stopped dreaming about those fantasies?
It makes me think that maybe I'm starting to give up on you, but I don't want to give up on you. I need you. Not having you around makes that way too obvious to me. I miss you.
And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder...
You know, I wonder if you miss me too? Not the same way I miss you, 'cause I know that's hopeless, but if you ever miss how things used to be, how happy we used to be. Well, I thought we were happy at least. Maybe that's why you left. Maybe you really weren't happy with all of us, though I don't want to believe that. I won't believe that.
'Cause those memories of better days are all I have left of you now and I'm not going to let go of them. I'll hold on to my memories of you until I can dream of our future again. I'll make it through all the dreams, all the memories, of you, no matter how painful it is for me to wake up every morning and realize that I really was just dreaming again. I'll continue to drown in these memories of you until I see you again and we can make new ones.
I'll keep on waking up and facing reality. I'll keep on practicing my smile. I'll keep on training to one day kick your ass. I'll keep on hoping that one day I'll see you again and that one day my dreams of us together will come back.
One day I'll be able to dream real dreams again. One day I'll be able to wake up feeling content with life again. One day I'll be able to smile for real again. One day I'll be able to see you again. And maybe one day I'll even be able to hold you again.
That's what I believe, and until that day, Sasuke, I'll drown in your memories.
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
If I could just hold you
Tonight
-A Thousand Miles, Vanessa Carlton
mH