Reunion Re-Percussions
The Competition: Part II
I keep running until I reach the band wing, and I'm soaked through by the time I get there. And the door is locked. Of course.
By the time Chris and Glenn find me huddled on the steps, I'm numb. They bring me inside and find a blanket to drape over my shoulders. Glenn gets me a change of clothes; he knows I always keep extra clothes in my band locker. Chris gets a hot chocolate from the cafeteria. I must look a mess, honestly. My hair is soaked, and I'm freezing, but I don't care. It's like my brain has shut down. Chris breaks the silence first.
"That was James, wasn't it? We walked into the auditorium just as you ran out."
"He tried to explain what happened, but I think you really shocked him" Glenn says, trying not to smile. I can feel the tears clouding my vision again.
"You guys are the best," is all I can manage. They don't stop me from getting sappy today. They let me cry, and wrap me up in a three person hug, which winds up being a Tara sandwich.
Once I get all cleaned up, I assure the guys that I'll be fine, and that they should go watch the awards ceremony. I'll be fine on my own. I just need to be by myself.
I wander around aimlessly for a while, but my feet bring me back to the auditorium. Of course. I need to play, so I wheel my marimba out from backstage and start warming up. Scales first. B flat major, then E flat major. Some crossover exercises. Then real music; the ballad from Jekyll and Hyde: Someone Like You. I sing the lyrics as I play; it's one of my favorite songs from the soundtrack.
"But if someone like you found someone like me, then suddenly, nothing would ever be the same…" I lose myself in the music. I love this feeling, being surrounded by the melody, completely oblivious to anything that's not music.
I pause when I'm finished, still basking in the safety and comfort of the music, when applause draws me out of my trance.
James is standing in the wings of the stage, no longer in uniform. I don't move.
"I wanted to give this back." He holds out my drum key, which I take and pocket soundlessly. I wish he weren't' so tall. I don't want to have to look up to him. I lower my eyes. I'm debating whether or not to run again. All I know is that I need to get out of this auditorium. I turn around to leave.
"You know, from the first time I met you, I thought you were a really cool person." He says.
I stay where I am, my back facing him.
"I was so mad I never made it back to that first reunion. My baseball game ended really late." I don't want to hear his excuses, but at the same time I know I should say something.
"I sent you a letter." I say accusingly. Do not turn around, Tara. Stay where you are.
"I know."
"You didn't answer it." I state.
"I know."
"It's been over a month."
"I – I didn't know what to say."
"If you didn't want to talk to me you could've had the decency to let me know!" I'm screaming how. I'm ready to storm out.
"I'm sorry."
I finally look him in the eyes, while my own eyes well up with tears for what seems like the millionth time tonight. But I'm not done yet. I've waited long enough to hear from him, and not I'm going to give him a piece of my mind.
"Do you have any idea – any inclination at all – what you put me through? Do you know that as soon as I get home from school I ask if I got mail? Do you know how many times a day I check my email? How many sleepless nights have had because I can't stop contemplating why you haven't gotten in touch with me?" I'm sobbing now, but I don't care. "I shouldn't care t his much. I shouldn't. But god, are you that dense? I liked you! I went out on a limb to write you that letter. And you didn't even answer it. I wish I never sent it!" I start to run, but trip, and fall.
James closes the gap between us in seconds and a moment later his arms encircle me. I don't even try to move, just crumple into a heap on the ground.
"Don't say that." He croaks. "Don't ever wish you never sent that letter."
"Why." I cry pitifully.
"Because I liked you, too."
I stop mid-sob, and our eyes lock. He continues.
"I had a great time talking with you at the reunion. Know that."
"You never got in touch with me."
"I was going to, I swear. And then I kept thinking, What if I tell her I like her, and ruin everything?"
"I took the chance. You should've, too." I say.
"I know. I'm sorry. Sorry for everything. I should've told you. Then none of this would've happened."
Then I laugh. Just burst out laughing, and James looks at me like I've got two heads.
"What's so funny?"
"We're so stupid. Really, if we'd just traded screen names or phone numbers at the reunion this summer, this could've all been avoided."
He laughs, too, then, and I know we're okay. Everything will turn out right from here. I smile as James wraps his arms around me again, and we stay like that for a while, just hugging on the stage.