This may seem silly, but I don't care! Anyhoo, I don't own anything, not even a goat!
Chapter 1: The Recruits
A man slowly strolled to a room just down the celestial hall. He really had no name, only that in which people referred to others his identity. "G-man" was his designation, and he was about to enlist the help of the universe's best to save it from destruction.
"Hello, Mr. Freeman." The G-man said as he entered the white abyss that was his "Waiting Room" The man he was referring to was a bearded scientist who twice saved the Earth from sheer doom
"Another contract has come along." He continued. "Apparently, an evil known to all as the Xenos, seems to threaten not only humanity, but all the races in the universe." The man he talked to looked none too surprised, after all, the world needs saving ever five minutes. "This is not like the creatures of Xen, these ones are far deadlier than the Vortigons, and faster than the head crabs." He continued as he revealed a holographic map that appeared before Freeman's eyes. "Of course you have no say in the matter-" G-man was cut off by Freeman clearing his throat and pointing at a handheld chalkboard he bought to communicate. The message written on the board said; I will need help.
"Of course," Continued the G-man, "You're band of rebels will continue with you to your "Arena" but-" Again he was cut off by Freeman's chalkboard message. This time it stated; More.
"More? Very well, I will allow you 5 new cohorts from anywhere, anytime, anyplace." Conceded the G-man. A small grin appeared on Gordon's lips.
"C'mon you undead bastards!" Ash yelled. The hordes of Deadites streaked up the mountain as the former clerk of S-Mart fended them off with his trusty shotgun and chainsaw. The creeps had made their way to 1942 America, where they hoped to cripple the Allied war machine and declare victory for the Germans. However, they never considered Ash actually remembering the words once, and following the scum to stop their evil plan. Just as he sawed through a Nazi Deadite, the world started to slow down. The face of Ash's victim stopped it's wail of pain and looked at him blankly. Then, everything faded out of vision as a man in a blue business suit casually walked up to Ash.
"Hello Mr….Ash." The man said.
"Uhh, what the hell did you do to these things?" The Badass responded. The Government Man looked cautiously upon Ash and disappeared. Suddenly, the warrior was lifted from the ground and disappeared.
Thor sat on his astral chair, starring at the humans below.
"Oh you crazy critters and your axes." He mumbled as a battle raged about Europe. Suddenly, a small Human walked up to the Norse God of Thunder and looked right at him.
"Hello, Mr. Thor." The man said. "I am here to request you're assistance in a matter of cosmic importance." Thor took a swig of ale and looked at the blue man, intrigued.
"What? Would this mission allow me to smash evil?" He asked.
"But of course," The G-man answered, "Why else would we need you?" At that the God stood up, grabbed his hammer, and disappeared into the mist of Valhalla.
A guard walked about his assigned catwalk, overlooking the Helipad. He looked down at his counterpart, who was sleeping, standing up, in the icy Tundra. The guard casually continued his route until he heard a knocking sound, coming from the staircase that led up to his area. He approached it, only to notice a set of footprints. The guard spun around to see a man in a sneaking suit, whip out a gun and shoot him. The guard went down.
"Catwalk clear." Snake mumbled. He approached the air duct into the base, when the falling snow seemed to hang in the air. His body froze as a man in a suit walked slowly toward him.
"We can't allow them to take the base!" Optimus said, looking at the Decepticons that blocked his route. "I will get to Megatron, no matter what!" He then transformed into a truck and sped wildly into the people who blocked his way. One bent under the force and shattered on reaching the ground, another was totally obliterated by Optimus's speed. A barrage of laser fire pelted Prime, forcing him to switch tactics. He leapt up, transformed to robot form, pulled out his pistol, and obliterated 4 or 5 more Decepticons in a hellstorm of energy beams. Out of nowhere, a blue man approached the Autobot leader and asked for his audience.
An evil doer fell to his knees after being sliced in half by a master of the Jedi ways. A creature so powerful, but able to maintain a level of goodness never rivalled in his lifetime. He ran up to slice another bad guy a new one when a human walked towards him Time slowed down as he approached, and the Master sheathed his lightsaber.
"Hello, Mr. Yoda." The human said, "I require your assistance in a matter of universal proportions."
"Who might be you are?" Yoda said, stroking his few remaining hairs.
"Some call me the G-man"