Disclaimer:The following characters in the following storydo not belong to me and sadly never will no matter what I may want dearly or do. They belong to the geinuses that we all know by Mr. Webber and Mr. Leroux. Though in this case, I believe that it applies better to Mr. Leroux.

Author's Note: Hello dearest readerswho even bothered to chose this story to read. I am really and truly honored to have been chosen among all the other wonderful fanfiction out there and I sincerely hope that this piece will please you and be well worth your time. This is the first chapter out of the many more to come of my E/C themed One Shots andSongfics. I love this pairing and hope to make it as realistic and satisfying as possiblefor you.I hope you like this first chapter enough to read more of my story as it comes. This chapter is about Christine after she has left Erik and how she feels about him and what he has done to her. Hope you enjoy!

Because of You

The midnight breeze blew a soft breath upon the lovely, porcelain skin of Christine Daae, whistling a soprano's tune, it rustled her locks of warm brown cascading down her back, deepening the shade of a faint rosy blush upon her cheeks, and making the lone tear running down her face shimmer from both the glimmer of the moon and the wind.

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery

Sitting upon a worn, ancient, and slightly damp bench deep in one of the many parks in Paris, late into the night, she sat dejectedly on her seat of cold wood, the moisture of the rain still clinging to the bench from the day before spreading to the cloth of her thin dress, making her shiver suddenly. A loose, ill fitting coat of a washed out navy and of a masculine design was draped lazily around her slight, delicate shoulders, exposed in a neckline that plunged daringly in the back and that tastefully revealed brief flashes of the creamy flesh near her neck and upper arms. Her beautiful face, sunken into a portrait of grief and infinite sadness, suited not her bright personnality of many years ago. Before him... Erik...

I will not break, the way you did, you fell so hard
I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far

Letting her head hang in a moment of unbearable memories, she gasped hollowly, fighting back those tears she'd refused to let out, smoothing back a stray stray curl with an annoyed hand, judging the lock an interferance in her current thoughts. He'd had no right. He'd had no right at all to do what he'd done to her. Made her suffer in a way that no-one should. Made her doubt everything she did. Made sure as to that she would ever be sure of anything again...


Because of you I never strayed to far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Before she'd known, before she'd actually learned the truth about him, she'd loved him with everything a young girl could muster. Her guardian Angel, her Angel of Music, the only thing of her father that she could cling to anymore. She'd lived for him, he'd been her whole life. The only thing good in her life anymore. How he'd cared for her and made her feel as if she was loved. That was all before she knew him. Erik.

Because of you I find it hard to trust, not only me,
but everyone around me, Because of you, I am afraid

She'd loved him. Oh yes, she'd loved him. Before she knew him. Not as an Angel, not as a father, but as a man. Something real, something attainable, something she could acutally see and have. He was wonderful as an Angel but not as a man. The way he'd loved her... The way he'd tried to show how much he cared... He didn't seem capable of showing emotion in a human way. He simply did everything in his power for her to love him and that had strangely driven her away. Everything in his power was not enough. Erik had never had anything...


I lose my way, and its not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry, because I know that's weakness in your eyes

He cried. Oh, how he cried whenever sonething displeased her or something did not go his way. He shed every tear in his tiny, frail body, he sobbed every sob his weak and delicate heart could manage, and yet he still couldn't rid his being of the misery contained in that skeletal, miniscule frame. Perhaps it was fathomless... His pain... She was never allowed to cry. Christine was never allowed to cry in front of Erik. Whenever tears coursed down her perfect cheeks he willed and begged of her to stop not bearing to see his Angel weep but if he should be able to cry, why not Christine?


I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break, when it wasn't even whole to start with


So she feigned contempt. She smiled at Erik whenever he would dare to meet her eyes. She would smile a smile of forced cheeriness, disgust and pity the real emotions behind her smiles. Erik would never know. He'd never received smiles. She'd embrace the poor man, knowing that he would never see her her eyes tightly shut. She'd try to create his happiness, even if it was only a lie...


I watched you die, I heard you cry, every night in your sleep.
I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me.

Why had he thrust all of his problems on her? Why had he weighed down her young spirit with all of his torment? Why had he made her suffer along with him? Had he even a clue to what he'd done? Had he remained still completely oblivious to all the pain and damage he inflicted on others without even noticing? Perhaps old, Erik retained that infuriating naivety of a child, never even thinking how what he did could possibly affect others. Perhaps he'd retained that, in order to actually experience his childhood. A childhood, a pleasant childhood, he'd never gotten... How could she have supported all of his tortured past? A young girl of only sixteen, her entire life ahead of her, burdened by the memories and agnonies of the pitiful, rejected man who'd never been loved. Who could never be loved... She'd tried to comfort him, tried to soothe the demons in his heart, tame the beast in him only music could. There was no way, no way on this Earth, that anyone, anyone at all, could help poor Erik anymore... No matter how hard he tried...


You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain.
And now I cry in the middle of the night, doin the same damn thing


Did he even think about how it would affect the stricken Christine? Had he even thought about the woman he supposedly loved and how he'd forever marred her once innocent heart; marked and scarred by the grief and woe of his memories, thrown at her violently in a desperate attempt to release them. He never thought, he'd never thought to. She hated him. She hated him for what he'd done to her. Changed her, etched out a definite imprint on her soul, never to be the same again... And yet, she still... loved him.


Because of you I never strayed too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

He was always there for her. He'd assured her everything she'd ever wanted. He had given her love, a surrogate father, life to music again. He'd brought music back into her life. He'd shed new light and breathed love into music. Music... the key to her heart. Music, the only truth left in the world, the only thing that truly bared the soul. He'd given her that. He'd given her love. A love of immesurable proportions, a love of burning adoration... a love of frightening obssession.


Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in


She wanted to love someone else, anyone else. Anyone but him. She'd tried. She'd thought that she'd loved another, left Erik for him... She couldn't. She couldn't love him. Not after Erik. No-one could love after being cursed with his love. She didn't want to love him... But she didn't. She didn't love Erik... And yet she couldn't love anymore. Once you'd been loved by him, you cannot love anyone at all. She couldn't love him and she woudn't love him... but she wouldn't love anyone else.


Because of you I'm ashamed of my life, because its empty
Because of you, I am afraid


No-one anymore. She wouldn't have anyone. She would be alone until the end of her days, alone without anyone to love her, anyone for her to love. It was better that way. She couldn't love anymore... because she was afraid to...


Because of you...
Because of you...

Christine Daae tilted her magnificent head back to face the sky, a despairing sob being set free from the confines of her throat. Tears slid down her cheeks, tiny orbs of that saltine liquid embedding themselves in her thick eyelashes, glistening with splendour in the glow of the moonlit park. Hugging herself tightly, she tried to will away all the memories, thoughts, dreams, and nightmares of him, shutting her eyes decisively.

She didn't love him.

Didn't she?

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please do review and tell me what you think. It would mean so very much to me.:)