Disclaimer: Obviously, I own nothing. NO-THING. Except the story…and Lily, Andrew, and the twins…and the many random women.

Jon'sMyMaster: 1. Yes. 2. Any time. 3. Neither can I…. 4. Wtf did that mean? Ask you over IM.

Harry94Ginny: Thanks much!

Scotty26: Thank you. Actually, I was watching Chicago a LOT when I started writing this fic, so I guess it kind of almost turned out to be like Roxie's relationship with Amos, if you've seen the movie (basically, she married him because he could support her). That and I just happen to have a thing for Neville and see him as such a sweet guy… Yeah, this is a romantic fic, I guess, but the next few chapters should be normal…after all, I have a year to cover before next BIG Harry/Ginny thing. Oh, and thanks for the cookie!

Winterwonderland69: Thanks!

Iamsuchafreak: Haha. I'll try….

Mandaleigh6078: Thank you!

A/N: I am SO sorry I couldn't get this out sooner, but my teachers heaped tests and projects on us and piled up homework and then I had to get Christmas presents together for people and its just been a very stressful couple of weeks and then my computer got invaded by Spyware and I had a huge panic attack and I've just been crazy busy. I'm sure you all understand (and I hope none of you have gone through the horror of having more than 300 Spyware things invade your computer at once for no reason that you're aware of).

Previously: When he was sure she was gone, Harry broke down. Slamming his fist against the grubby exterior of the house, tears slid down his face. "You IDIOT!" he screamed in frustration, and he let himself sink to the floor, his head in his arms, sobbing. Nothing good ever happens when you let the interests rip apart the understood.

.x. Having Heart Is Full Of Pain .x.

You Look Like Normal People, But Actually You Are The Angels Of Death

It was nine-thirty in the morning of one particularly downcast Sunday, and Harry Potter found himself sitting glumly at the kitchen table of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. In the week and a half that had passed since he and Ginny's final farewell, his thoughts had not dwelled on much else. He sighed as he heard the rumbling of thunder overhead and laid his head on his arm.

He was hungry. Had he eaten yesterday? He didn't think he had. Getting up as if it was painful to him to move, he opened his fridge, searching for food. His emerald eyes scanned the contents, and, deciding there was nothing appetizing, pulled out an egg. He swiftly transfigured it into a small super ball with a flick of his wand. Slumping back down into his chair, he began to bounce the ball against the wall idly. One… Two… Three…

"Harry!"

Crack.

Harry glanced over his shoulder, giving Fred and George a look of disgust. Both were laughing so hard they had to grip their sides to keep from feeling too much pain, and Harry was trying to shake egg yolk off of his hands.

"Your magic skills suck," Fred said plainly, waving his wand and clearing the room of the gooey mess.

"How'd you guys get in here?" Harry asked, trying to move away from the subject of his poor Transfiguration skills.

"We're wizards," George told him in a serious whisper, as if it was some great secret. His response reminded Harry of the time when, in their first year, Ron had belittled Hermione for losing her head when they were tangled in the Devil's Snare ("'There's no wood,' honestly…").

"Good point."

"But we didn't come here to tell you that—" said George.

"—We didn't really plan on needing too—"

"—so let's get down to business."

"Erm, business?"

"We're going to set your affairs in order, mate," Fred explained, but Harry was still hopelessly lost.

"You mean like a will? I'm going to die?" Fred shook his head and rested it in his hands.

"I give up, this is painful…."

"Let me try," George said. "You've been pining in here for days, and we think we know why."

"We know it's not about that first interview you did, with the Quibbler, that went really well according to Ron."

"We think this has something to do with our sister."

Harry's heart dropped. Had they figured out what he'd done?

"We know, we know, she's absolutely corking—" George began.

"—I mean, let's be honest here, if she weren't my sister—" Fred interrupted, but George cut him off again with a disgusted look on his face, much to Harry's relief.

"—and we know you've like her for ages, so hearing about her and Neville must have been devastating, we're sure."

"But life goes on."

"Which is why we're going to help get your mind off her. C'mon, we're going to Diagon Alley."

Harry apparated with Fred and George and followed them as they led him down the cobbled street. They passed Gringotts, Ollivander's, and Florean Fortesque's ice cream parlor, and when they went past the Quidditch shop, Harry could see a gaggle of teens eying the newest model of broomstick eagerly. When they had walked halfway through Diagon Alley, the twins stopped. They were standing outside of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, but something was very, very wrong.

Harry was quick to notice that an unnaturally long line of giggling young women had formed; the end seemed to be about ten yards outside of the door.

"What's going on?" Harry asked. "Did you get Lockhart in there signing Pygmy Puffs or something?"

"No, we've got something even better…"

Fred and George sniggered as Fred tapped a large poster in the window.

HARRY POTTER…

…He's back….

…He's hot….

…He's available!

Flexible Hours/Location

Apply Within

Harry spun around, watching their laughing fits in horror. "What did you two DO?"

"Time for your big debut, Harry," Fred said through his chuckles. Before he could protest, the twins steered him into the crowd. In unison, they boomed, "Here he is ladies, HARRY POTTER!"

The screams were deafening as Harry was pushed in front of the crowd, standing like a deer in the headlights. As he scanned the crowd in horror, he could see some familiar faces: Lavender Brown and the Patil twins, Susan Bones, and even (he gulped) Romilda Vane. Panicking, he turned to run, but Fred and George pushed him into the sea of women.

"Harry!"

"Harry, remember me?"

"I lent you a quill once, Harry! Remember?"

The roar was soon squelched by a unanimous gasp, followed by a solitary scream.

"Oh my God, he's fainted!"

"How do you think he'd feel about a nymphomaniac?"

"I know how I'd feel about a nymphomaniac …."

"Hmm….we'll put her in the Maybes, then. What about this one? She seems nice….oh, wait, no. It says here she has a hippogriff fetish."

"This one's crazy. She said she has a Harry Potter fetish!"

Harry let out a groan from where he was laying on the couch. Opening his eyes, he saw the twins pouring over countless piles of parchment sheets. "What…the hell…are you two doing?"

"Going through your applications!" Fred replied cheerily. "Good haul, good haul. Got more than we'd expected."

"Your first date's tonight, seven-thirty. You're going to the Three Broomsticks to have drinks with one Romilda Vane…here's her file."

Harry blanched. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope, called her an hour ago."

"Oh, and Harry?" George called back as Harry started to walk away.

"What?"

"If I were you, I'd get a move on. It's seven-fifteen."

Harry's date with Romilda Vane was disastrous. After twenty minutes of her hitting on him and asking to see his Hungarian Horntail tattoo, he finally feigned illness and left. The following dates went in more or less the same fashion.

His second date was with a girl named Amie. She had long blonde hair and blue eyes and fair skin and seemed very nice…until she began to break down at dinner about how her boyfriend had recently broken up with her and she wanted to show him she was good enough to go out with Harry Potter to get him back. Harry took the first chance he got to go to the bathroom and escape.

On his third date, he met up with a young woman named Megan. They had a lovely time; they ate dinner and danced a bit, and Harry even considered kissing her goodnight…until she looked at the clock and told him that she had to go because her husband would be home in a few minutes.

On the fourth date, she wore a cloak and spoke in a language that Harry had never heard and couldn't understand. She left halfway through dinner without a word.

The fifth girl was a drug dealer. The sixth spent the date discussing the details of their wedding and asking him how many kids he wanted. The seventh was Colin Creevey's younger sister.

Fred and George had found all of these dates extremely amusing. Each time, they had sat on the other end of whatever building Harry was in and used Extendable Ears to hear everything that was going on. Each time that Harry left looking glum or terrified, the twins would follow behind him, laughing about the entire thing.

That was the reason that Harry had less than high hopes for the date Fred and George had scheduled for tonight. Her name was Kelly. She was 27, was interested in Muggle Studies, and was training for a position in the Ministry. And, while he wasn't going to get his hopes up very much, she seemed like she might work out okay.

"Ready, Harry?" Fred asked him.

Harry nodded.

"Alright, then. Let's go."

Harry walked into the restaurant a few minutes before Fred and George. It was dimly lit, and smelled of a mixture of cigarette smoke and ale. It was warmer than it should have been, and his ears were filled with the sound of laughter and clinking poker chips. He walked up to the waitress who was seating people, and asked if anyone had come in under the name of "Potter." She pointed him to a corner of the pub, and as he walked around the corner, he heard Fred and George coming in.

Looking in the direction she had sent him in, there was only one table for two that was being occupied. However, Harry was extremely confused. Sitting in the seat was a man.

"Erm, hello? Yeah, I'm looking for someone named Kelly, have you seen her?"

"I'm Kelly," he said with a smile, and Harry nodded, bewildered.

"Oh, er, yeah… Anyways, I was just coming to tell you that I'm really sorry but I can't make it because I…uh…my tooth chipped? And I have to go see my best friend's parents because they're dentists and yeah so maybe later? Bye." He said this all very fast and then walked away with a small wave. As soon as he turned the corner and was out of Kelly's sight, he began walking much faster. He was going to throttle Fred and George when he saw—

That was when he collided headfirst into someone. When he looked up, he saw that the someone had been a waitress, and that the floor was now littered with broken china and food.

"Oh bollocks…" she whispered, horrified. "I'll be sacked."

"I'm so sorry…Let me help you."

Harry bent down on the floor next to her, surveying the mess, and she looked up at him. She was pale, with long brown hair and shining gray eyes. Freckles dotted her cheeks, and Harry thought that she was very pretty.

Muttering a number of spells under his breath, he managed to get everything clean, back to being one piece, and on her tray.

"Thanks," she told him. "My job's kind of on the line…."

"No reason to thank me. Afterall, I was the one who broke everything. I'm Harry, by the way."

"I know," she said. "We've met before."

A/N: Okay, so…kinda sucky. Really sucky. But at least it's out! Sorry for the wait, I'll try and have the next one up much sooner. :N/A