I Don't Want To Lose You…
She looked out the window with one more glance back at their small comfortable home that she had remembered so many great times with her mother, the fights they had gotten into and all the times they had laughed at the small things in life.
Her memories brought her back to the when she was five. She was sitting in the musty gold couch that she remembered them always having, the one that sunk in, in the middle, the springs sticking out into your back; yet it had always been the most comfy couch ever. She was looking at pictures of herself and her mother, when she was born. She flipped through the pictures in the album studying each picture carefully with a look of concern and concentration. When she had looked through all the pictures, she looked puzzled down at the book and closed it, holding it tightly in between her hands. She finally looked up to her mom who had been cooking furiously in the kitchen for a special dinner when she realized what it was she had wanted to ask.
"Mommy, where is daddy?"
Her mother looked down at the food that she was stirring and back up to her daughter. She had waited a long time for her to ask about this, and now she finally had. She hadn't a clue how she would answer her, and now that's he had to she just said, "We lost your daddy a very long time ago sweetie, don't worry about it." She felt her eyes well up with tears and her heartbreak for telling her daughter a lie.
But then again everyone lies.
She jumped back into reality with a load noise that suddenly filled the ambulance, the screen showed a line, a line that went straight across and spread panic across her face. Reality was starting to sink in that something was seriously wrong; she knew that when her mom had told her she had cancer, but she never really pictured her ever leaving her…at least not so soon.
She saw her body move under the powerful shocks, seeing the paramedics work quickly to find out how they could fix her.
She felt the tears start to fall from her eyes as she ran to hold her mothers hand and they had held her back from her. She then realized how bad it was.
She held her eyes closed and let the tears run down her cheeks, staining them. She thought back to when she was eight. Her mom and her had always gone for walks around the block; she held her hand tightly in hers. Her small hand placed in hers. These men stopped them, men in uniform, the police. She knew now what her mom was into and didn't really want to look back to those times. But when she opened her eyes and looked down at her mom small and fragile she knew that it would always stare her straight in the face, she had done it until she was diagnosed with cancer, that's what it took to finally stop her.
Her heart raced as they opened the doors and the paramedics, bringing her into the ER, wheeled her mother onto the ground.
She starred on and didn't dare interfere with the doctors doing their jobs. She stood and starred at the doors that swung shut leaving her shut out from all that was going on.
She sat in a chair and starred into space for a good fifteen minutes before she hung her head low, holding it in the palm of her hands that rested on her knees. She let her dark brown hair hang over her face and down over her shoulders. Her small frame shook as she tried to hold herself together, not wanting anyone to see her in this state.
She sniffed and her body shuddered as she tried to suppress another breakdown. Everything will be ok she told herself.
But everyone lies.