Enjoy!

Chapter four Remember

Ratchet called all the remaining Autobots to the main room of Autobot headquarters.

"What's up, Doc?" asked Jazz.

"Whirr and I made a temporary cure that will slow down the virus that Bumblebee is infected with," said the medic.

"Then what are we waiting for?" asked Skyshadow.

"I've given it to Bumblebee already, but I want each of you to take it as well, it should work for both infected and uninfected mecha," Ratchet explained.

Whirr stepped forward and said, "Form a line in front of Ratchet so he can vaccinate each of you."

The Autobots formed a line and one by one they all stepped forward until there were only five left.

Mirage appeared in front of Ratchet, so the medic could see him while he injected him with the vaccine, then he turned invisible again and silently walked to one side. He had spent a significant more time invisible since he was terrorized by Hun-Gurrr. Either it was for fear of a similar scenario, or something else the Autobots didn't entirely know, but they could definitely notice a difference.

The affects of being terrorized was weighing on all of them. Mirage was almost always invisible, Prowl's tactical computer has never been the same since the Lumen War, Bluestreak rarely says a word, the terror twins have stopped all mischief, just to name a few.

Jazz, Skyshadow, Iron Blade, and Bug were at the end of the line.

"You four don't need the vaccine because your immune systems are functioning properly," said Ratchet. "This is only a temporary solution, please continue to keep your distance from the infected. If any of you come in contact with an infected mech please decontaminate immediately and let me know. Also, if you develop any of the symptoms that I sent to your data pads then let me know right away," explained the medic.

"Too bad Shockwave is dead, we could have got the antidote from him!" said Grimlock.

"Do you really think he would have given it to us if he was alive?" asked Springer.

Grimlock didn't answer.

/

I Don't Miss You (But I Do)

A gift fic written by space-blue-spirit

Jazz was happy Steeldust was gone.

Not really actually.

It tore him apart that his adopted charge, his son, was gone.

Jazz again remembered the last words he'd heard him say that orn on Lumen.

"I'll draw them off. So you all can get ahead."

The fellow Autobots that remained as themselves had protested.

"You won't get far with them chasing us all," he replied quietly. A lopsided grin. "I can give us a chance."

Jazz hadn't missed the knowing look in Steeldust's optics, despite that grin.

He'd known. Or had had a pretty good idea.

It would be a chance for them, not himself.

He'd at least guessed there'd be a good chance he wouldn't return to them.

And Jazz, seeing that, knowing that, had still let him go.

A bitter smile crept onto the former third-in-command's faceplate.

Not that he'd had a choice.

He hadn't had a choice, but to let one of his special operatives, his son, who was already injured, run back to try... To try and save them.

He hadn't returned.

They'd all known when he didn't come back that offcycle, but the next time they saw him, it had proven his demise.

One look in those optics had told the group. No one was home anymore. Steeldust was no longer anything but a mere puppet for Hun-Gurr's purposes.

But the young mech had given them time. Time to escape. Time to run and hide. Time to get that much more of a plan. A plan to save the rest.

Steeldust had paid the price, as many others had, for their lives.

"You self-sacrificing idiot," Jazz whispered to the name on the memorial statue.

A name only, for their was no grave for Steeldust on Cybertron. Jazz had been forced to leave his frame with so many others on Lumen. The names of those they'd left all carved into the memorial in the middle of those who'd died since.

A tear tracked down the mech's faceplate as he stood in the lonely, empty graveyard.

He was glad his son was at rest now. In a better place.

Jazz knew what he'd be doing if he was still alive.

With crime taking control of much of the planet, there was no doubt in his mind.

Steeldust would be undercover. Deep undercover.

And even if Jazz hated that thought, he knew that there would be nothing he could do to persuade him otherwise had he been alive.

Steeldust knew the Underworld. Better than any of them. Even Jazz himself.

It would only be logical for him to go.

And he would go. He might not even tell Jazz he was going before he'd already faked a story and joined some crime syndicate or hunter.

Because he was a selfless, sacrificial idiot.

Who loved his friends, his family, and his comrades dearly.

"It's what cost you so dearly, Steel," Jazz said, tracing the young mech's name. "You told me, you once never thought you'd make it to adulthood..."

A sob caught in his throat.

"I never hoped I'd be talking to your memory so soon after you did."

But Jazz had known, known as long as Steeldust had been in the special ops division. Just as he knew with Mirage, Skyshadow, Hound, and all the rest of them.

There was a high risk of dying. For all of them. Even for himself. If you were good, you had a better chance of surviving.

And two of his mecha still did survive. Others had not.

Steeldust was, had been, good. One of the best despite his young age. And yet...

Hun-Gurrr had turned their own best tactician and best sniper against them. And had taken one of their best special agents down.

Jazz knew, it wasn't his fault. He'd trained Steeldust to the best of his abilities. He knew that.

But there was a part of him that wished he could've done something. Something that would have saved Steeldust.

There was also a part of Jazz that didn't though.

Because now, Steeldust could rest. He wasn't off somewhere in some crime boss' employment, pretending to be one of them and finding it oh so easy to fool them all. Because Steeldust had known that life once and known it well. It had terrified the young mech the last time he'd been sent on such an undercover mission. Both going back, and how easy it was.

But he'd went anyways. Because he was the best bet, the best suited. The most likely to pull it off and make it home.

It terrified Jazz to know, deep in his spark, that that would be exactly where Steeldust would be currently if he'd survived Lumen. If he'd made it home.

"I don't miss you, Zipper," Jazz said, voice trembling. "But I do."

End of gift fic.

/(Intermission song is I Don't Miss You by Sam Tinnesz.)

Iron Blade walked over and stood beside Jazz, and said, "You know, it was Steeldust that told me something about the Autobots."

"What did he say?" asked Jazz.

"It was the night after we fought the terrorcons for the first time," said the half-seeker, a thoughtful look on his faceplate as he remembered.

Don't Take It For Granted

A gift fic written by space-blue-spirit.

Iron Blade glanced behind him when he sensed someone emerge from the cave. He relaxed when he saw who it was and the reason for him not hearing them.

The lanky young ops sent him a short nod in greeting and then walked over to stand beside the rock the former Decepticon was sitting on.

"Can't recharge?" Iron Blade asked in a whisper, glancing up at him.

He noted how tired the ops agent looked, and distantly remembered him running around the battlefield for some reason.

Steeldust let out a short laugh and shook his helm. "Was recharging. Then got woken up."

"By what?" Iron Blade asked, furrowing his optic ridges.

All had been so far pretty quiet. The only noise really was Sideswipe's and maybe a couple others' snoring. And the former gladiator was fairly certain that Steeldust was likely used to that.

"Huh, I guess you don't know," Steeldust whispered thoughtfully, flicking a doorwing tip. He lifted a hand beside his helm and waved it around. "I am one of the few Cybertronians that dream. Mostly I get the nightmare end of those."

Iron Blade rose an optic ridge. "Interesting. I've heard of such things. Are they that bad that they wake you up?"

Again, Steeldust nodded and then he shrugged. "Yeah. Just be glad I don't scream anymore. At one point, I would have woke up the whole camp."

"You don't scream anymore?"

"Not during nightmares, no." Steeldust sat down on the ground beside him and started to fidget with a small stone in his hand. "Taught myself not to. Not sure how exactly to explain it, but yeah."

"Oh." Iron Blade frowned and looked around them, listening for a klik.

"Do you want me to switch with you for guarding?" asked Steeldust, also scanning their surroundings.

"No, I'm fine," Iron Blade replied.

The two sat in silence for a short while, staring ahead into the offcycle.

"Can I ask you something?" Iron Blade said suddenly, turning in his seat to look down at the Autobot.

Steeldust glanced upwards. "Yeah, sure."

"Why do you not seem to care as much as some of the others about me joining you Autobots?" Iron Blade said, almost a challenge in his tone. "I mean, I know some of you probably consider me having proved myself since I'm out here guarding you all, but you've been different since the beginning. Like you were more willing to trust me or something."

The ops agent blinked once. "Maybe I was."

"Why?"

Steeldust glanced away and was silent momentarily, then he returned his gaze back to meet Iron Blade's.

"I didn't like the idea of you joining us at first," he said neutrally, but in a tone that Iron Blade knew he was being truthful. "But you seemed like you were genuinely wanting to switch, so how could I fault you for that."

He paused to shrug, his doorwings moving with the motion. "Sure, I was gonna keep an optic on you, but you didn't make any bad moves against anyone, so here we are I suppose."

Iron Blade frowned down at him. "Yeah, okay. But why? I know how it goes between the two factions and there's no love for anyone of the opposite one. Especially for someone who's done as much as I have."

"True," agreed the younger mech quietly. "But some realize that they're technically just as bad in terms of death count and such."

"That's not all your reasons," Iron Blade said, narrowing his optics. "I can tell."

"Well, if you'd let me finish," Steeldust said pointedly with a small grin. Then, he sobered and continued. "I know personally what it's like to try and rebuild a life, to do a one-eighty. It's rough, and you can use all the trust of mecha that you can get."

Iron Blade stared down at him, unsure what to think of that. Or whether he wanted to ask further.

Steeldust, one of the best Autobot ops agents, was not who or what he had thought he was apparently. Apparently, there had been something he'd done or was involved with before.

Getting to his pedes, the agent turned to face him, optics sad.

"You are right that you probably proved yourself, especially this orn. And thank you for your part in it. I don't know if anyone else said it, but we do appreciate what you tried to do for Optimus."

The former gladiator just nodded and bowed his helm.

"Another thing, if I may say it?"

Iron Blade glanced back up at Steeldust, a questioning look in his optics.

Steeldust gave him a grim, sad smile. "Make amends with your sister. And value the time you still have with her. Blurr and I... Well, we didn't have the best relationship, but he was still my brother. I took him for granted and now he's gone. I can't get him back. But you can get Skyshadow back. You might even be able to get 'Bee back.

"I never thought I'd see the orn where I wished for things between Blurr and I to be more tense than what we were, but now? I'd gladly take it, just to have him back."

Iron Blade shook his helm. "I'm trying, but you don't understand. I've done stuff I don't know if she'll ever forgive me for."

"Blurr did things I thought I couldn't forgive him for," Steeldust replied quietly. "And I did things that he probably didn't think he could forgive me for. It might be too late for us, Iron Blade, but not for you.

"I'm going to go back and see if I can get some more recharge. Think about it."

With that, Steeldust turned and walked away, leaving Iron Blade to sit on his rock and watch for danger. And think.

End of gift fic.

"Thank you for sharing that I. B. It's really good to hear those things at times like these," said the saboteur.

The Knight of Cybertron nodded.

They sat there in silence for a few astrokliks. Then Iron Blade stood up and walked away, saying, "I've got to go catch up on lost time with my little brother before it's too late."

Jazz smiled slightly as he looked over his shoulder. Then he rose and returned to Autobot headquarters.

/

A gift written by space-blue-spirit.

A ghostly form, invisible to most mortals, lingered near the mourning mech at the memorial.

"I'm sorry," the forever eighteen-vorn-old whispered. He blinked back a few transparent tears that threatened to spill.

He'd known in the back of his mind when he'd made his decision on Lumen. Known Jazz, his guardian, the mech he'd all but called sire, would be devastated.

Seeing was much different than knowing.

Steeldust didn't regret what he'd done to try and save mecha. He just regretted the pain he'd left behind.

"I'm dead and still I cause mecha grief in some ways," he thought soberly, watching as Jazz laid a hand over his name and then left.

The ghost hesitated, then decided to follow him.

Even after he'd done what he could, mecha had still died. So many. Too many.

Lumen too.

He knew it wasn't his fault. He still hated it.

He hoped they were all at peace. Everyone who had passed on from the living world.

It was partly why he'd stayed.

Even if he wasn't sure exactly what he could do to help.

/

"I'm sorry."

Jazz swore he could still hear his youngling's voice whispering in his mind.

A broken smile crossed the mech's faceplate.

He'd heard those words before.

Maybe he didn't have Steeldust anymore. But he still had memories of him.

And he would do all he could to ensure the memory of Steeldust, and all the rest and what they'd all done, would live on.

End of gift fic.

(Credit music is: New Search by Joseph Trapanese.)

Thanks for reading!