CHAPTER SIX: CHOCOLATE
One night about three weeks later, Jack found himself outside of her tent. He hoped she was asleep, when deep down he knew that they were both insomniacs, so she was probably just lying there on her blanket, staring at the tarp that served as her roof. He said her name quietly and something inside the tent moved quickly. He said her name again.
"It's me. Jack." He said, and she appeared in the opening of her tent, looking very much awake. She stood up slowly, and he realized that she wasn't wearing all of her usual clothes, just her bra and underwear. He drew in a breath and turned away, unsure of whether or not she was ok with him seeing her like that.
"Sorry." He mumbled.
"No." Was the only vocal response he received, but then there were hands running down his back, creeping beneath the fabric of his shirt and then lightly moving back up his bare back, the nails grazing the skin soothingly. He turned his head slightly, not enough to see her, but enough that there was no way she could think he was avoiding her.
"What are you doing?" He asked, and it was hoarse. He wondered if this was what it felt like to be alive. He'd felt home in so many different places at so many different times, but none of it had felt so right.
"Do you really need me to answer that question?" She asked. Her hands moved to unbutton his shirt from behind him, pulling it down off of his shoulders when she had finished. She placed kisses on his throat and neck, her hands moving to his pants to tug them off of his hips.
His mind was racing through things that didn't apply to the situation. How he hadn't wanted to be part of his family. But now it didn't matter, because on the island, everyone was family, everyone had someone they could count on, friend or love. It felt like he was the big brother to some of them, while others felt like they were parents or older children still. Old enough that they didn't feel the need to look out for anyone but themselves.
Kate tugged his pants off and turned him around to face her, her hands coming up to his face to draw his lips to hers.
When Jack woke up, he was thoroughly confused. There was some living thing lying on his bare chest, and he felt sticky, as if sweat had dried onto his body. The thing on his chest was shaking as if in pain, and when he opened his eyes, he found himself looking at Kate, and all the memories returned.
Her body was lying perpendicular to his body, her back arched over his stomach. One of her arms was pressed tight against her chest, the other sprawled above her head. Her legs were curled into one corner of the tent. Her body was completely bare, just as his was. She was shaking, her eyebrows knit together. It was clear that she was having a nightmare of some sort. He placed a hand on her cheek, his rough fingertips creating friction.
Her eyes shot open immediately, and she seemed to panic when she realized that she was naked. And so was Jack. She shoved herself away from him, her arms wrapping around herself protectively.
"Kate?" He said quietly, reaching one hand out to her. She blushed a deep red and he realized that she was scared as hell of him seeing her naked and vice versa. He opened his mouth to apologize, knowing that it would be true, even if he had enjoyed everything at the time. "I'm sorry."
She looked away, and he knew that something must be wrong.
"You're the only thing I love. It scares me more every day, but it's true." Jack told her, and she met his eyes. She still looked scared as she searched the ground for her clothes. He saw this coming, or at least he claimed he did, because in truth, he was lost for words. She got dressed quickly, her back facing him.
"What the hell did I do now?" He whispered to himself, knowing as he said it that it was too late for asking if she was ok. She turned to look at him, feeling his anxiety.
"I didn't think about… what if I get pregnant?" She asked him quietly. His eyes widened as he understood her fear. It was an honest mistake, not using any sort of protection, but it could lead to the most difficult time he'd ever gone through.
"Kate… I didn't think either. I… Is there anything that I can do?" He asked, but she was already almost completely dressed. She shook her head.
"It's not that I don't want to be pregnant… don't get me wrong, Jack… but… not here." She said, and it sounded helpless. He could see that she was biting back tears and reached out for her, wrapping his arms around her. She put her hands on his bare shoulders, avoiding looking at him.
"You should get dressed. They'll be wondering where we are." She whispered and left him alone in her tent, naked.