This is a Mario adaptation of the classic fairytale "Snow White" I wrote for TMK's Fungi Forums (with a few twists). I do not own the fairytale, nor do I own the Mario series. Nintendo owns Mario, but I have no idea whether or not anyone actually owns "Snow White"
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Once upon a time in a forest far, far away, there lived seven little men with mushroom caps called Toads. One day while walking through the woods, one of the Toads discovered an abandoned crying baby. The Toad read the note pinned to the child's blanket. The note read, "My name is Snow Peach. I am an orphaned little girl in search of a caring family. The Toad held Snow Peach in hopes of soothing her, and he thought "I should show her to the others.'
(scene change)
"She is quite adorable, Hexatoad," said a second Toad at their humble cottage.
"Can we raise her as our own, Tritoad?" Hexatoad asked.
"I don't know," Tritoad said. "We should ask Toad."
"What's all this talk?" the leader, Toad, asked entering with an armful of firewood. "Ah, and who is this sweet little tyke?" Toad laid the wood by the fireplace and held the child in his arms as the little girl giggled happily.
"I found her in the forest," said Hexatoad said.
"Where are her parents?" Toad asked.
"According to this note, she has none," Hexatoad handed the note to Toad.
"Snow Peach eh?" Toad pondered as he read the parchment.
"Can we raise her as our own?" Tritoad and Hexatoad pleaded.
"Of course," Toad smiled.
And so, the seven Toads in the forest raised Snow Peach. She grew to be the fairest, most beautiful young woman in the land.
(scene change)
Elsewhere, in a castle engulfed by dark storm clouds, an old female turtle creature in dark blue robes, known as a magikoopa, hovered happily to a mirror. "Mirror, mirror on the wall," she crackled. "Who's the fairest of them all?"
The face of male magikoopa materialized in the mirror. "Well, my fair Queen Kammy," the magikoopa said with doubt, "my sensors indicate a young woman named Snow Peach, who lives in the forest, is the fairest, but--"
"WHAT!" Kammy shrieked. "Kamek," she pointed her wand at the magikoopa in the mirror, "I don't pay you to say someone else is fairer than me!"
"You don't pay me at all," Kamek said.
"Just for that," Kammy snarled, "I'll deal with you once I'm through with that Snow Brat!"
"Okay," Kamek said without a hint of fear, "Enjoy your seven years of bad luck."
"Grrrr!" the jealous Kammy stomped out of the Mirror Room into a room filled with rotten brown mushroom creatures with fangs called Goombas and an assortment of turtle creatures called Koopa Troopas. "Which of my loyal minions shall I use to deal with this Snow Puke?"
"We're not your minions," said a Goomba. "Lord Bowser just is lending us to you so he doesn't have to cross dress."
"For that smart-alecky remark," Kammy snapped, "you'll be one of them!"
A rabble of Koopa Troopas a few Goombas laughed.
"And you bunch will go with him!" Kammy barked.
The gang scowled.
(scene change)
Meanwhile, in the peaceful forest, Snow Peach skipped happily along, her long golden locks flowing in the breeze, when a gang of Koopa Troopas and Goombas attacked her.
"Are you Snow Peach?" a Goomba growled.
"Why do you want to know?" Snow Peach quivered.
"We were ordered to de-" a Koopa Troopa nudged the talking Goomba. "I mean, uh, give her a fabulous prize for, uh, being the fairest in the land!"
"Really? You shouldn't have."
"So you're her, right?"
"Yes, sir."
"Your prize," another Koopa Troopa smiled smugly, "ANIHILATION!"
"AAAAAGGGHH!" Snow Peach screamed.
Right when the baddies were about to land their merciless blows on the damsel in distress, a portly mustachioed man in red valiantly stomped a Koopa Troopa. The man in overalls kicked the Koopa who was retracted in its shell, so he would skid into his comrades. The red hated man stomped on the shell again to stop its skidding and threw a fireball at it. The Koopa shell popped defeated.
The brave man offered the quivering young maiden a hand to help her up.
"Thank you very much, Mister," Snow Peach hugged her valiant rescuer.
"It's the least a prince can do," the man said in a heavy Italian accent.
"You're... a... prince?" Snow Peach gasped.
"Prince Charmio, my fair lady," Charmio bowed.
"Snow Peach, but you may call me Peach for short."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Peach," Charmio said.
"Same here, your majesty," Snow Peach blushed.
"Please, you may call me Charmio."
"Hey!" a squeaky voice shouted. "Away from the girl!" The Toads rushed to Snow Peach.
"Wow! Fabled Toads!" Charmio gasped.
"Don't 'Fabled Toads' us!" one of the Toads snapped. "What are you doing here with Peach?"
"It's okay, boys," Snow Peach said. "Prince Charmio here saved me from those Goombas and Koopas."
"Goombas and Koopas?" another Toad scratched his red polka dotted mushroom cap. "We've lived in these woods for years, but we've never seen any Goombas or Koopa Troopas around here."
"Well they were here," said Snow Peach, "and they tried to attack me. I would've been beaten to a pulp if Charmio hadn't come."
"Okay," Toad said, "We can discuss this at the cottage."
(scene change Wow. That was a long scene.)
"YOU INGRATES!" Kammy yelled back at the ominous castle.
"Hey! This guy's been thwarting us for over 20 years!" A Goomba snapped.
"SILENCE!" the cranky queen zapped the Goomba with her wand. "NEVER may you speak out of turn!"
"You're not our master!" a Koopa Troopa shouted.
"I am for this story!" Kammy zapped the Koopa Troopa. "Anyone else want to argue with me?"
"All Hail King Bowser!" all of the minions shouted.
"YOU IGNORANT FOOLS!" the screaming Kammy zapped every single Goomba and Koopa. "This just proves that if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself." The queen transformed herself into an old Koopa lady with a basket of apples. "And I have an idea," Kammy sneered as she held an apple with her gnarly claws.
(scene change)
A month later, Snow Peach was alone in the cottage baking a cake, when she heard a knock at the door. "Come in," she jeered.
In walked a seemingly innocent old Koopa carrying a basket of goodies.
"Why hello there, ma'am," Snow Peach greeted. "What can I do for you?"
"My sweet grandson is gravely ill and won't survive without an operation," the old Koopa wept as cliché sad violin music played in the background. "I am trying to raise money by selling my fresh-raised, home-made goodies."
"You poor woman," the sweet young Snow Peach wiped a tear from her eye. "I'll buy a few apples to make a pie."
"Thank you so much! Bless your kind heart!" 'Heh! Gullible girl!' Kammy crackled in her private thoughts. 'I'll get her AND the Toads out of the way! Now to find that prince. I made a special pasta-flavored lollipop for him! Eeeehee-hee-hee-hee-heee!
(scene change… sort of)
"Peach! Peach!" three Toads rushed into the cottage when Snow Peach was about to make apple pie.
"Toaduo, Quatoad, Sevitoad, what's the matter?" Snow Peach asked urgently.
"The prince!" the red vested Toad named Toaduo panted.
"What happened?" Snow Peach gasped.
"Quatoad and I found him in the forest, and it doesn't look very good," the purple vested Toad named Sevitoad cried.
"Bring me to him, please!"
(scene change)
The other four Toads stood by a motionless Prince Charmio when Snow Peach, Toaduo, Quatoad, and Sevitoad rushed to the five some. "No!" Snow Peach gasped. "He's gonna be okay, won't he? Toad, please tell me he'll be okay."
"I found no pulse, dear," Toad exhaled a mournful sigh. "I'm very sorry."
"No!" Snow Peach cried as she kneeled by the lifeless prince. "Oh, he did so much for me, and I never repaid him! Oh, cruel hand of fate! How could you take my love away from me?" The Prince's clothes and 'stache were drenched from the sobbing Snow Peach's tears. I shall repay you, my love!" Snow Peach leaned to the dead Charmio's face and gave his cold lips a passionate mouth-to-mouth contact.
"She's delusional," Tritoad whispered to the green-vested Toad named Pentatoad.
All of a sudden, Snow Peach could've sworn she felt warmth returning the prince's body. She ended the kiss and saw two life filled blue eyes staring into hers.
"I must say," the rejuvenated prince said weakly. "That has to be the most a-powerful kiss I've ever received."
All seven Toads fainted.
"Charmio?" Snow Peach stared happily in disbelief.
"Hi, Peach," Charmio smiled.
"Oh, Charmio!" the young maiden cried happily as she embraced the prince in a tight hug. "You're alive!"
"I'll be alive longer if you stop a-suffocating me," Charmio laughed.
"Oh," Snow Peach loosened her grasp. "Better?"
"Yes, never let a-go. I have loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you."
The two lovebirds embraced each other in a passionate hug.
(scene change Dang! These scenes with Charmio are pretty long)
Our scene changes to the queen's castle in order to avoid too much nausea from the audience. The castle's doorbell rings. Because all of the minions were zapped, Kammy had to answer it herself. A monstrous turtle creature with a spiked shell and red mien was at the door.
"What d'ya want?" Kammy snarled. "Oh! King Bowser,"
"Kammy," the Koopa King growled, "I am grateful for you taking my place as the antagonist in this story, for I refuse to cross dress. To show my thanks, I had one of my chefs bake you this scrumptious pie." He handed a pie to Kammy.
"Wow, your gnarliness," Kammy stared in disbelief. "I don't know what to say." She took a bite out of the pie and dropped dead.
"You liked the pie?" Bowser evilly grinned. "Kamek baked it especially for you. That's you get for threatening my childhood caretaker and zapping my loyal minions without my consent! Bwaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaa!"
(conclusion)
So before the wedding, Charmio found his birth certificate, and realized his real name was Mario. He, Snow Peach, and the Toads lived in the royal castle happily ever after.
"And I get to kidnap Peach!" Bowser shouted in glee.
The end
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Here are the names of the seven Toads and what color of vest they wear.
Toad Blue (this is the original Toad of the games named Toad)
Toaduo Red
Tritoad Orange
Quatoad Yellow
Pentatoad Green
Hexatoad Light Blue
Sevitoad Purple