Elizabeth sat in her living room, hands pressed against her stomach. A tiny life was growing inside of her, a life that existed because of Jack. She almost couldn't believe it to be possible. They had only spent two weeks together as husband and wife before she had to leave him at Fort Clay. It hadn't even crossed her mind that she might conceive his child in that time.
Conflicting emotions swirled through her. The most obvious was happiness, joy that she would have a child given to her by her husband. A piece of him would live on in their son or daughter. Followed closely on the heels of happiness was a strong fear. She would be a single mother. How was she to raise this child on her own? She'd always pictured raising children with a husband at her side. Now, with Jack's death, she would be doing it alone. The thought was nearly overwhelming.
Part of her knew she wouldn't be truly alone. She would have the help of her friends in Hope Valley. They would be a steady source of support as she raised her child. Even so, the prospect of being a single parent was daunting.
Confused at her wildly different feelings, Elizabeth closed her eyes. A slight headache was forming, but she knew that was a symptom of pregnancy. Carson had given her a list of things to expect. Considering the time that had passed since Jack left for the training assignment, Carson had estimated that she was three months along in her pregnancy. That meant the baby would arrive sometime around Christmas.
A knock sounded on the door. Elizabeth stood slowly, fighting a wave of dizziness that enveloped her. When she had her bearings, she walked to the door and pulled it open. Charlotte Thornton stood on the other side. Tears were sparkling in her brown eyes. "Is it true?" she whispered by way of greeting. Hope radiated from her in waves.
Elizabeth smiled. "It's true," she responded.
A choked sob escaped her mother-in-law. Charlotte threw her arms around Elizabeth, holding her tightly in an embrace. Not used to such overt displays of affection from Jack's mother, Elizabeth blinked. Overcoming her surprise, she wrapped her arms around Charlotte in return, sharing in the moment of bittersweet joy.
Almost a minute later, Charlotte pulled back. She framed Elizabeth's face in her hands. "I'm so happy for you," she said, tears spilling down her cheeks. "Jack would have been thrilled to know he was going to be a father."
Elizabeth felt tears of her own well in her eyes. "He would have made a wonderful father," she whispered brokenly.
"Oh, my dear," Charlotte said. She slipped an arm around Elizabeth's waist, leading her to the living room. "Sit down, Lizzie. I'll make you a strong cup of tea."
Elizabeth wasn't sure strong tea was what she needed, but she knew that was Charlotte's way of showing love. She let her tears fall while her mother-in-law bustled about the kitchen. Pain sliced through her heart. Jack's child was coming into the world in six months, and he wouldn't be there to see it. The thought tore open the wounds that she'd thought were healing. Heaving sobs shook her, her body bending nearly in half to combat the pain.
Two arms slid around her. Elizabeth latched onto Charlotte, burying her face in her shoulder. The older woman murmured softly, stroking her hair like a mother would a grieving child.
"I'm sorry," Elizabeth murmured when she finally stopped crying. "I thought I was past this stage of tears."
Charlotte smiled sadly. "Lizzie, there is no timeline on when tears end. I lost my Thomas almost two decades ago, and every once in a while I still cry."
Elizabeth started. "You do?"
Charlotte nodded. "Not necessarily true tears, but at times I tear up thinking about him." She patted Elizabeth's shoulder. "I've healed, honey. But sometimes there will be a reminder of the pain. That's just a part of life."
Leaning against her shoulder again, Elizabeth sighed. "So these crying bouts could continue without warning?"
Charlotte chuckled. "I'd almost guarantee it. Not only are you grieving your husband, you're pregnant. Emotions run high during pregnancy, Lizzie. You would be crying for no reason even if you hadn't just experienced a tragedy."
"Have you cried for Jack?" Elizabeth asked softly.
There were a few moments before Charlotte responded. "In my own way, yes. I rarely cry in public. It's just not my way. When the Mounties brought me news of Jack's death, I held myself together. I thanked them for their trouble and invited them in for tea. Only when they left did I let myself give in to grief." She paused. "They probably thought me cold for not weeping at the news. The truth is, I'm not an emotionally demonstrative person. My grief tends toward privacy. And there's nothing wrong with that." She tightened her hold on Elizabeth. "Everyone grieves differently, Lizzie. Remember that. Your journey will be different from mine. It will be different from Abigail's loss of her husband and son, Carson's loss of his wife, and Faith's loss of her mother. Grief is a process. The best advice I can give you is to go along for the ride and let yourself feel how you feel."
Relief rushed through Elizabeth. "That's exactly what I needed to hear," she said. "Thank you."
Charlotte smiled. "You're welcome. Now, let's get you that tea."
Elizabeth waited until the older woman came back with a steaming cup of peppermint tea. She took a few sips, surprised to find it seemed to instantly calm the nausea that was ever-present lately. She drank half the cup before speaking again.
"I feel so scared, Charlotte," she admitted into the quiet. "I'm thrilled to be carrying Jack's baby, but I'm afraid of doing this on my own."
"I understand," Charlotte replied. "When Thomas died and I was left alone with Jack and Tom, I wondered if I had what it took to be a single mother." She sighed. "I won't lie to you. There were some very hard times. I fell into a depression for a while, to the point where neighbors took the boys for days at a time to let me sort through my pain. Thankfully, that didn't last too long. So believe me when I tell you I know exactly how you feel." She turned to face Elizabeth fully. "I've made a decision, Lizzie. I'm staying in Hope Valley permanently. Abigail offered me a job at the cafe. I accepted. At the very least, you'll have me to lean on. I promise I'll be here for you."
Elizabeth gasped in astonishment. "That's wonderful! I'm so glad you're staying!" She smiled. "That does give me a measure of comfort. It's nice to know my baby will have his or her grandma nearby."
Charlotte's entire face lit up. "I'm glad I'll be here to see it," she replied. "I've been a nomad for too long. It will be nice to have a home, with family to boot."
Elizabeth hugged her close. "I'm happy you'll be here."
Somehow, knowing Jack's mother was staying in town, a weight lifted off Elizabeth. Excitement slowly began to replace the fear inside. She and Charlotte poured over nursery items, along with Abigail and Rosemary. Faith was a big help too, as she was preparing her own nursery for the child she was to welcome in November.
"Just think! Our children will grow up together," Faith gushed, looking between green and yellow paint swatches. She held them up. "What do you think of these colors? They could work for a boy or a girl."
Elizabeth took them. "I like it," she said. "The green is calming, while the yellow is cheerful. It strikes a good balance."
Faith grinned. "I think we just found your nursery colors." She had chosen pale blue and a light gray for her own nursery. The two friends found the appropriate paint cans, then shuffled to the checkout where Ned was happy to ring up the items.
A few days later, they had a painting party at Elizabeth's house. Faith brought Clara with her. Charlotte, Rosemary, and Abigail showed up soon after. Molly and Florence were last to arrive, but they brought baby blankets that they had sewn. The colors matched the ones Elizabeth had chosen for the walls.
"These are lovely," she exclaimed, looking at the beautiful embroidery and smoothing her hand over the soft material. "Thank you."
Molly smiled. "We thought you might like lots of blankets. It's going to be cold when your little one is born."
It would indeed, but December still felt like a long way away. As the summer passed, Elizabeth continued to work on her baby's nursery with the help of her friends. She knew she would be glad it was done early when the time came for the baby to come. Elizabeth had a feeling she wouldn't feel like setting up a room when she was waddling around with a big stomach.
By the middle of August, everything was complete. She stood in the middle of the room, a sense of pride filling her. It was beautiful. The walls were painted in the soft green and yellow, a crib was nestled against one wall with the blankets hanging over it. A dresser stood in a corner, waiting for baby clothes to fill it. There was even a bookshelf that was ready for children's books. Only one thing remained.
Elizabeth looked down at the framed photo in her hands. Jack looked back at her, standing tall in his uniform. She traced the lines of his beloved face, smiling wistfully. "Our child will know you, Jack," she said softly. "I will tell our baby all about your courage and bravery and love. You will not be forgotten. I promise." She kissed the photo, then placed it on the dresser. "I miss you, my love."
She looked down at her stomach, where a gentle bump was beginning to form. Elizabeth placed her hands over the baby. "Your daddy would have loved you so much," she whispered. "He'll be watching over you from heaven since he can't be here in person." The feelings of sadness and calm washed over her in a way she'd come to expect when she thought about her husband. Elizabeth was learning to accept the dichotomy of emotions. She let them in, but she didn't dwell on them. Even in her ongoing grief, she was learning to live again.
"Come on, little one," she said. "We have an appointment with Dr. Carson."
Having been told by said doctor that walking was good for the baby, Elizabeth set off on foot down the road toward town. It was a beautiful summer day. Elizabeth enjoyed the sunshine on her face, though she noted that by the time she reached the infirmary, she felt a tad overheated. The door was open, so she went right in.
Carson looked up as she entered. A smile lit his face. "Elizabeth, it's good to see you. How are you feeling?"
She smiled back. "I'm fine, Carson. Thank you for asking."
He put a hand on her back, guiding her to the exam table. Elizabeth was touched by the small gesture. He'd been doing lots of little things for her in the two months since he'd told her she was pregnant. Small touches to let her know he was supporting her. Bringing over various teas that were meant to make her pregnancy more comfortable. Being a listening ear if she was having a bad day. Their friendship was deepening, and she was thankful to have someone to watch over her and the baby, to make sure they were healthy and strong.
Carson helped her onto the table, then pulled out his stethoscope. "Any new aches or pains?" he asked, placing the instrument over her heart.
Elizabeth nodded. "My stomach feels like it's stretching more on a daily basis," she said wryly. "It's not terribly comfortable."
Carson chuckled, though the sound was sympathetic. "It's only going to get worse from here," he told her. "You've got another four months of stretching to do."
She groaned in response. Carson hid a smile. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news." He placed the stethoscope over her stomach and listened for a moment. His eyes lit up as he glanced at Elizabeth. "Do you want to hear the baby's heartbeat?"
Elizabeth caught her breath. "Can I?" she asked, her voice near a whisper.
Carson smiled. "You certainly can." He removed the earpiece from his ears and placed it gently into Elizabeth's. "Listen."
A soft but distinct thumping sounded from within. Elizabeth listened, enthralled. "Oh my," she said, a hand going to her own heart. "What a precious sound!"
Carson nodded. "That's one of my favorite parts of being a doctor," he said. "Seeing this joy when a woman hear her baby's heart beating."
Tears pricked her eyes as she continued to listen. "It feels so much more real now," she whispered. "I can hear my baby!"
"Listen as long as you like," Carson replied. "I'll just organize some medicines while you do."
Elizabeth nodded, closing her eyes and focusing on the beating heart. After a few minutes, she felt a movement within. "Oh!"
Carson was by her side again in a moment. "What is it?"
She opened her eyes. "I think I just felt the baby move!"
Carson placed a hand firmly on her abdomen. He was rewarded with a kick in his palm. He chuckled again. "Your baby is becoming active," he said, accepting the stethoscope Elizabeth handed to him. "That's another good sign."
Elizabeth placed a hand over the spot his had been, feeling the movement of her child within. It was a moment so full of awe. She could scarcely believe how happy it made her.
The remainder of the appointment was routine. Carson declared that everything was moving along smoothly. Elizabeth was relieved. She stood when they finished, turning for the door. But a sudden hesitancy swept over her. She didn't want to go back to an empty house. Charlotte was working, as were her other friends. If she went back to the empty rowhouse, she feared she would be lonely.
She glanced at Carson. "Have you had a lunch break yet?" she asked.
He blinked. "No, not yet," he answered. "Why?"
Elizabeth bit her lip. Was it too forward to ask him to lunch? They were friends, after all. It wasn't inappropriate for two friends to share a meal. Still, she found she couldn't get the words out.
She didn't have to. Understanding lit Carson's eyes. "You don't want to be alone," he said quietly.
Elizabeth shook her head. "No, I don't."
His tender smile told her he knew how she felt. He extended his arm. "Mrs. Thornton, may I escort you and your child to lunch?"
She smiled, sliding her hand into the crook of his elbow. "That would be lovely. Thank you, Carson."
He grinned. "The pleasure is all mine, I assure you. It's not often I'm able to eat with a friend during the work day." He winked. "You just saved me from an hour of paperwork."
Elizabeth laughed. "In that case, I'm happy to be of service."
Carson led her toward the door. "The cafe or the saloon?"
"The cafe," she replied. "Charlotte told me they're serving chicken pot pie today." Her stomach rumbled at the mention of the succulent dish.
"One of my favorites," Carson said. "The cafe it is."
They walked the short distance to Abigail's, making small talk along the way. Elizabeth was extremely grateful for Carson's presence. Just being with him made her feel less alone.