Though she had resisted the idea of bedrest, over the next few weeks Elizabeth discovered the blessings hidden in the trial. Rosemary provided her with material to make outfits for the baby. Before long, Elizabeth had a pile of clothes in whites, greens, and yellows. She sewed diapers and blankets. Carson was the one to take them up to the nursery. Though climbing stairs was allowed when necessary, he didn't want her carrying things up if it could be avoided. The one time Elizabeth ignored that advice, she quickly realized why he'd given it. She felt the beginnings of contractions and nearly panicked. Thankfully, they subsided relatively quickly, but it was enough to show her the wisdom in Carson's words.
She also rediscovered her love of writing. With long days to herself, Elizabeth found solace in creating stories on her typewriter. The novel she'd long wanted to write suddenly came to her. She wrote of a young widow grieving the loss of her husband. She poured her own pain into the story. To her surprise, writing a fictional account of her grief helped her accept the reality that Jack was gone. Her pain lessened a little more every day. She accepted that for what it was: a gift. She would always love Jack. She would always miss him. But somehow, she knew he would want her to keep living.
That was confirmed in an unexpected way one morning when Abigail came by. She brought coffee and muffins, and she had a letter in her apron pocket. When she handed the letter to Elizabeth, a gentle smile filled her face. "Jack gave that to me before he left for the Northern Territories," she said quietly. "He wanted you to have it if anything were to happen to him. Since he came home unscathed, I forgot about the letter. I came across it today when I was cleaning out my desk."
Elizabeth looked at the familiar handwriting on the envelope. She smiled tenderly, tracing the letters Jack had written. Pressing the letter to her heart, she smiled at Abigail. "Thank you for bringing this over."
"Would you like me to stay while you read it?" Abigail asked.
Elizabeth nodded. "Please." She took a deep breath, then carefully opened the envelope to reveal the precious letter inside. Unfolding it, she took in her love's scrawling script. She smiled again, knowing she'd been given a great gift. These were Jack's final words to her. Slowly, she began to read.
He talked about how much he loved her and how he wished they could have spent their lives together. He said he wished they could have had children. Elizabeth's hand went to her stomach when she read that line. "We do have a child, Jack," she whispered. "And I'll make sure this baby knows how much of a hero you were." She continued reading, by turns smiling and feeling tears well in her eyes. When she got to the end, she caught her breath.
Promise me you'll be open to love again, Elizabeth. You have so much love to give. Don't keep it locked inside. If you have the chance to be happy, take it.
Elizabeth lowered the letter to her lap. "He said I should be open to love again," she said, feeling slightly stunned.
Abigail took her hand. "That's because he loved you so much, he wanted you to find another who could love you like he had," she said softly. "That is a pure, unselfish love on Jack's part, Elizabeth. He would want you to be happy again."
Elizabeth blinked back tears. "I can't even comprehend the thought of loving another man," she admitted. "It's too soon. Jack has only been gone a short time."
Her friend nodded. "He didn't say you had to find love immediately," she said. "If it comes, though, he wouldn't want you to push it away. He'd want you to embrace it." She placed a hand on Elizabeth's stomach. "I'm guessing he would want your little one to have a father, too, had he known about your pregnancy."
The baby moved inside of her, as if confirming Abigail's words. Elizabeth smiled, shaking her head. "He probably would," she said. "But I can't think about that right now."
"You don't have to," Abigail said. "Let yourself keep healing, my friend. If love comes your way again, you'll know it."
"And I'll have good friends to help me along," Elizabeth said, hugging Abigail. "Thank you for always being there for me. Your friendship has been a lifeline these last few months."
Abigail hugged her back. "We're family, Elizabeth. We're there for each other. It's what we do."
Her words were proven time and again as others flocked to Elizabeth's home. Despite her initial fears, she was rarely alone for more than two hours at a time. Abigail continued to stop by in the mornings, bringing coffee and treats with her. Carson visited most days of the week at lunchtime, bearing healthy foods that were both delicious and good for pregnant mothers. Charlotte came by in the afternoon with tea, and Rosemary and Lee provided dinner and company in the evenings. Though she'd always felt love from her friends, it had never been more apparent than now, when she could give them nothing in return but her gratitude.
She mentioned that to Carson one day over lunch. "It almost feels like I'm trespassing on the hospitality of you and the others," she admitted as he handed her a plate of food.
Carson's brows rose. "You're definitely not trespassing," he told her, a teasing smile on his face. He winked. "We're the ones invading your home every day."
Elizabeth laughed. "I couldn't be more grateful." She took a bite of the roast beef soaked in gravy before continuing. "Especially to you. You said you'd visit two or three days a week, yet you're here almost every day." A smile worked its way onto her face. "Have I mentioned how much I enjoy our conversations?"
She watched in amazement as a flush darkened Carson's cheeks. He looked down at his own plate, clearing his throat. "I do as well," he said, finally peeking up at her. "This friendship between us has been a blessing for me."
Elizabeth was touched by his words. She smiled, reaching out and covering his hand with hers. "For me as well," she replied.
Carson stared at their hands for a moment, blinking rapidly. He cleared his throat, shifting in his chair. "Will you tell me one of your happiest memories with Jack?" he asked, reaching for his water with his free hand.
Elizabeth felt a smile fill her face. She removed her hand from Carson's as she began to talk, unintentionally gesturing with her hands as she spoke.
"A camping trip," she said, the memories filling her mind. "Jack was taking the boys into the woods on an overnight trip, and my girls were disappointed that they couldn't go. Jack insisted that it was a boy's trip only, that the girls should do something more 'girly'." She chuckled, remembering her own piqued emotions that day. "So the girls and I decided we would have our own camping trip. We got to the campsite before the boys and got everything set up by the time they arrived. They were so shocked." A giggle escaped as she pictured the look on Jack's face. "They weren't happy at first, but soon enough everyone adjusted to being together, and we had a wonderful time." She sighed softly. "My favorite part of that trip was after the kids went to bed. Jack and I sat on a log by the fire, just talking and sharing our hearts. We were both so happy and carefree that night. The tension of the past was behind us. We had no idea what the future held. It was just us, the fire, and the night. It was beautiful." She sighed again. "If I could have frozen that moment in time, I would."
Carson reached out this time, taking her hand in his. "That's a wonderful memory, Elizabeth." He squeezed her hand once before letting go. "Though I'll admit to being surprised that your wedding wasn't your favorite memory."
Elizabeth smiled. "That one is up there as well," she said. "It was a perfect day. But I think the memory is slightly marred because Jack left so soon after." She scrunched her brow. "I still can't figure out why he took that posting," she said softly. Her heart ached momentarily. "He'd still be here now if he'd just told them no."
Carson scooted his chair closer to her, slipping an arm around her shoulders. He didn't say anything, just provided comfort with his presence. Elizabeth leaned her head against his shoulder with a little sigh. "It's getting easier," she admitted. "I'm thankful for that. But sometimes I just don't understand the choice Jack made."
He pulled her a little closer. "That must be hard," he murmured. "Wondering 'what ifs' can contribute to the pain and grief."
Elizabeth looked up at him, though she kept her head on his shoulder. "Do you know that from personal experience?"
Carson nodded. "I can't tell you how many times I tormented myself wondering if there was anything I could have done differently during Amber's surgery. Anything that would have saved her and our unborn baby." He exhaled slowly. "Sometimes that was more painful than losing her. The guilt ate at me until I was a shell of myself."
"But you've healed now," Elizabeth said softly, impulsively cupping his cheek in her hand. "You're learning to live again."
He smiled at her, a tenderness in his eyes that took her by surprise. "I am," he acknowledged. A few moments passed before Carson blinked and pushed his chair back to its normal place. "I should probably be going," he said.
Elizabeth saw him visibly swallow as he stood. Her brow crinkled as she looked at his plate. "But you haven't finished eating," she protested.
He cleared his throat, glancing at the clock. "I forgot…I have a patient to see…soon," he replied.
Elizabeth stood as well, wondering at his strange behavior. "Alright. I'll see you out."
Carson smiled, his features softening once more. "You don't have to do that, Elizabeth."
She chuckled, taking his arm. "You're a guest in my home," she reminded him. "It would be rude of me to allow you to let yourself out."
He laughed, acquiescing. When they reached the door, Elizabeth followed him onto the porch. The late September air had a slight chill to it, reminding them that autumn was upon them. Carson turned to Elizabeth with a smile. "Thank you for allowing me to invade your home," he said, his blue eyes twinkling.
Elizabeth laughed, swatting his arm. "You know you're welcome anytime." Her expression quickly turned serious. "And I mean that. These shared lunches mean the world to me."
Carson simply stared at her for a moment. "For me as well," he said quietly. There was a look in his eyes that Elizabeth couldn't decipher. Before she could analyze it, the clip-clop of hoof beats broke the silence. She and Carson both turned, and Elizabeth's face blanched.
A young Mountie pulled his horse beside the house. Elizabeth involuntarily began to shake. She hadn't seen the uniform since Jack's funeral. Staring at the young man, she staggered. Carson caught her, one arm going around her waist while the other gripped her arm. "Steady," he murmured. Raising his voice, he addressed the Mountie. "Can I help you, Constable?"
The young man dipped his head. "I'm looking for Mayor Stanton," he replied. "I have a message for her about my new posting."
New posting? Elizabeth swallowed hard. Carson's arm tightened around her as he addressed the man again. "You can find her at the Office of the Mayor," he said, nodding toward town. "It's the large building at the end of Main Street. You can't miss it."
The Mountie nodded. "Thank you, sir. I appreciate your help." He looked between them. "May I know your names?"
"I'm Dr. Carson Shepherd," Carson replied. "And this is our schoolteacher, Elizabeth Thornton."
Something flashed over the young man's face at her name. He tensed, staring at Elizabeth. "Thornton?" he said, voice faint. "Mrs. Thornton?"
She managed a nod, leaning into Carson for support. "Yes," she said shakily. "My husband was Jack Thornton." She swallowed again. "Did you know him?"
The tension hadn't left the young man's face. He simply snapped a nod. "Yes, ma'am. I had the pleasure of knowing him." A pained expression filled his eyes. "My condolences for your loss, Mrs. Thornton."
Tears pricked her eyes. She gave him a nod, wondering how he knew Jack but unable to ask. It was clear the memory was a hard one for him.
"What is your name?" Carson asked. He had obviously picked up on the tension crackling in the air. Looking down at Elizabeth, he gave her a quick but encouraging smile before turning his attention back to the Mountie. The small gesture was enough to help Elizabeth collect herself.
The same couldn't be said for the young man. His horse pranced nervously, picking up on his master's emotions. "Constable Brandon Everson," he replied. His eyes darted between Carson and Elizabeth. "I'm…I'm the new Mountie for Hope Valley."