Another few weeks passed, unnaturally fast, or so it seemed to Layla. After meeting James, she started looking for him everywhere; in the halls, at the library, in the Great Hall. The worst part was that she didn't even notice she was doing it; and she had no intention of stopping. It was as if James was a drug, and she was addicted; when she didn't see him, she felt disorientated, desperate. She made excuses to herself, since no one else knew, and went to classes traveling less direct routes, just to walk past him. She was obsessed, and she hated herself for it, but she loved the feeling.

Layla was so preoccupied that she didn't even notice the excitement that all of the other students tried to suppress. Until, suddenly, her boring, daily routine was interrupted by a trip to Hogsmeade. This was even worse because all of the students except first and second years would be going; all of them, except Layla and Ren. They hadn't known about the necessary parental permission, not that they would have been able to get it, anyways, as Layla unsuccessfully tried to explain to Professor McGonagall.

So, that Saturday morning after breakfast, a crowd of students wrapped in coats, hats, and gloves waited in the Entrance Hall as their forms were checked by Filch. Layla was a bit intimidated by the sea of black before her, but nevertheless, decided to try to find James. Hopefully, they'd be able to have a small conversation, which would have to give her enough cheerfulness to last throughout the entire day. Spotting a familiar group of tall Ravenclaw guys, Layla darted over, relieved to find James with them.

"Hey," she said, grinning at him as she stepped beside him.

"Hey," he said, and Layla felt like she was floating as he smiled at her. "Did you talk McGonagall into letting you come?"

"Ah, no… just figured I'd come to see you off."

"Damn, that sucks… you could always hide under my cloak," he suggested, winking at her and giving her the flirtatious smile that she loved.

"Thanks for the offer, but I think it'd be safer to stay here," Layla said, her lips curling into a smile to match his.

"I'll see you when I get back then, okay?" he asked as he got caught in the crowd, pulled towards the door and away from her.

"Yeah… see you then."

Layla watched him until he was out of the large oak doors, and then went to find her sister. She felt empty, again, since her heart was walking towards Hogsmeade, away from the rest of her. Deciding that it'd be better to spend a day with her sister than moping around by herself, Layla went in search of Ren. She found her twin staring after Audrey's retreating back, a sad look on her face.

"What now?" Layla asked.

"Dunno… I guess I was going to go to the Library. There was something I had wanted to check out; want to come?" Ren suggested, turning to face her sister.

"I might as well," Layla agreed with a shrug.

The two walked in silence to the library; once there, Ren wandered off to the Defense Against the Dark Arts section, while Layla wandered over to the very small foreign languages section. Over the past few weeks, after James had introduced her to this little collection, she had fallen in love with it. There were books teaching foreign languages, as well as books written entirely in another language. Her favorite part of it all was that she could point out something in a just about any of the books, no matter what language it was, and James would say it aloud so she could hear the pronunciation.

Layla skimmed through the book she had finished the last time she was in the library. It was a French romance novel about vampires, and she loved it. Curious to know if there might be a sequel, she searched the back of the book. In the section where the author wrote all the sources she had used to get information, there was only one book listed. Even more curious than before, she went to Madame Pince, the librarian, and asked if they had that book. Normally, the librarian would smile and help her find it; this time, though, she gave Layla a startled look and asked why she ever want such a thing.

"I saw it mentioned in another book," Layla explained.

"What book would mention it? It has some very foul things in it. And I'm sorry, my dear, if you're interested in it, I would like to help you; but it's in the Restricted Section, you'd need a note from a teacher."

Layla waited for Ren to finish at a nearby table, and joined her at the checkout once she appeared.

"Did you not find a book?" Ren asked as she drew near.

"Si, j'en ai trouvé, mais c'est dans le section restreint," Layla muttered angrily.

"Well, let's go then."

Ren walked out of the library, Layla jogging to catch up to her.

"Where are you going? It's lunch time," Layla reminded her sister, and Ren paused.

"I'll be right there… I just want to drop this book off in the dormitory first."

Layla stared at her twin's retreating back for a moment, and then turned and headed to the Great Hall. She sat by herself at the end of the Gryffindor table, as far from the pack of cheerful younger students as she could get. The room was so much emptier than usual; most of the students were either at Hogsmeade, or had been taken out of school as "Lord Voldemort" and his followers continued their killing spree.

As she thought of all the students who had lost family members, Layla thought of her mother. She had never really known her father, but her mother had been there her entire life, had taught her to survive; and she had died, because of her. Layla buried her face in her hands and tried to not cry. The blood, and Jeff, and her mother; it was all her fault.

Loneliness swept over her, as she sat there, and she felt abandoned. James wasn't there, so she had no reason to smile; Ren and Skye weren't there, so she had no reason to pretend to be happy. Her heart ached; she had never gotten a chance to properly mourn for her mother. Right after finding out about the death, Ren and Layla had left France, and then they had entered a new school and had to worry about classes and homework.

So preoccupied with her thoughts, Layla didn't even notice her sister sit beside her and pick up a sandwich from a platter in front of them. The two sat in silence as Ren ate; neither of them really grasped the fact that Layla hadn't touched any food. After lunch, the twins headed back to Gryffindor Tower. Ren headed up the dormitory, as usual; but Layla felt like being alone. If she went upstairs, she'd be with her sister; if she stayed in the Common Room, she'd be surrounded by the First and Second Years. A frustrated sigh escaped her lips and she stomped out of the room.

Her feet just began walking; Layla didn't really care where she would end up. Her thoughts drifted again to James, Skye, and Ren. Normally, she could tell her sister everything; but since their mother had died, she had been keeping a lot of very big secrets; secrets that were tearing her apart. She desperately wanted to open up and talk to someone, but didn't want to burden anyone with her problems. Layla had a bad feeling that sometime soon, she would end up breaking down and releasing everything all at once, on someone who didn't deserve to put up with her shit.

Frustrated, she suddenly began pacing in a corridor, debating in her head at first whether or not to go back to the Common Room and pretend to be happy for a few hours. Then, she began to think about her old room, back in France, and wished that she could be there. With a small pop, a door suddenly appeared in the wall beside her. Layla glanced quizzically at it; she was used to Hogwarts constantly throwing surprises at her.

Her pale hand grasped and twisted the silver doorknob cautiously, and gasped when it was pushed open to reveal an exact replica of her old bedroom. She stepped inside and closed the door softly behind her, staring around sadly.

The little of the dark blue walls that were visible looked black in the dim light emitted from the paper lanterns hanging from the ceiling. Most of the space on three of the walls was covered with posters of Muggle rock bands; a few large pictures of animals were scattered amongst those. The fourth wall was entirely covered with pictures of vampires and werewolves, with the exception of the bulletin board in the middle, which was cluttered with pictures of family and postcards that she had collected. The room was in the state of panic and disorder that she had left it in when she had quickly packed and left the country.

The drawers on her cheap wooden dresser were pulled out, clothes hanging out of some of them. Clothes lay in heaps on the floor, and pencils lay scattered on the desk from when she had knocked over a jar of them in her haste. Louis, her blue Fender Stratocaster, rested on her bed; she remembered how she had cried herself to sleep her first night in England, because she was so upset that she had left him behind.

She picked him up, her fingers sliding gently along the strings as she familiarized herself with the shape once more. Her fingers moved to the fifth fret of the guitar neck, and she began to play "Stairway to Heaven"; Led Zeppelin was one of her favorite bands, and her mother had always loved that song.

When she finished playing the song, Layla placed her guitar on the floor beside the bed, curled up in the mess of blankets, and cried herself to sleep.

A few hours later, she woke up, feeling very disoriented. For a brief moment, she forgot everything about England; she thought that she was home, in France, and everything was as it had been before her mother's death. Reality hit her like a punch in the face, and she bit her lip to prevent herself from crying again. As she left the room, she made sure to remember the tapestry of the dancing trolls that was across from the door; this would be her haven, her secret place, and she didn't want to forget about it. Twenty minutes later, she had managed to navigate her way back to Gryffindor Tower, and went up to the dormitory to check on her twin.

Ren was lying on her stomach, reading the book that she had gotten from the library earlier that day. From the surprised look that Ren shot her as she walked into the room, Layla knew that her sister hadn't even noticed her absence. As it was, Ren just continued reading. Layla lay down on her bed for about a minute, then became fidgety and began pacing around the room. A few minutes later, she pulled an old book out of her trunk and lay on her bed again; another few minutes, and she was pacing again, inquiring about Ren's book. The procedure went on for quite a few cycles, before Layla got fed up with it.

"What on Earth are you reading? It's rare you ever find a book good enough that even you want to read it for hours on end," Layla said, going over to bounce on her sister's bed, ignoring the aggravated look that Ren shot her.

"It's not that big of a deal. I'm bored," Ren replied, placing the book on her stomach and looking at her sister. Layla was lying on her stomach, head propped in her hands, looking at Ren with curiosity. A few seconds later, Ren picked up her book again and proceeded to ignore her twin.

"They should be back soon. It's almost supper time," Layla said, thinking suddenly of James.

"I'm… not hungry," Ren said after a slight pause.

"You may as well come down to see everyone anyway, even if you won't eat," Layla suggested. "You've been moping around all day; I would have thought you'd have jumped at the chance to see everyone again."

"I can assure you I'm not moping."

Ren sounded frustrated, so Layla decided to let her do her own thing.

"Right, I'm going down to the Great Hall," she said, hopping off the bed. She shot another questioning look at her sister, but said nothing and quickly left the room.

Layla went there, as she had said she would, but she felt very lonely again. The Hogsmeade students were beginning to appear, but for some reason, she was hoping that Skye wouldn't sit with her. Though Skye had been for best friend for the few months that she had been there so far, their recent conversations had been entirely centered on her, because Layla just couldn't find the words to say anything. The more time that passed, the less Layla began to care about what Skye was saying to her, and she had started to tune her out and daydream. At the same time, she hated herself for it; Skye had been her first friend here, had welcomed her here, and now Layla was being so ungrateful and apathetic towards her.

Though she desperately wanted to see James, she couldn't stand sitting there and hating herself any more, so after forcing herself to eat a little pasta- which she normally loved to eat- she decided to walk around the grounds. By this point, all of the students that had been at Hogsmeade had returned; Skye hadn't seen Layla when she came in, so she had sat down with some other friends.

The moon was almost full, and Layla stared at it, memorized, as her feet carried her to the Quidditch Pitch. The moisture caught on the dark grass shone with the light from the moon, giving it an odd yet beautiful look to it. With a sigh of contentment, she lay down on the grass in the middle of the field, staring up at the sky. It was probably after curfew, she knew, but the night was too calm for her to care. The sound of footsteps, muffled slightly by the damp grass, reached her ears, but she didn't move away. Secretly, she hoped that it was James, but she didn't know why he would be out this late.

"I always do seem to find you in odd places at night."

Layla barely suppressed a grin at James looked down at her. His face was partially covered in shadows, giving him the look of the mystery men that girls always seem to swoon over. Layla mentally shook herself, telling herself not to think like that, and tried not to get lost in his eyes. They were alone, and she didn't want to accidentally kiss him, because then he would definitely end up hating her; or so she thought.

"Are you stalking me or something?" Layla's eyes sparkled with a playful light.

"You know it," James replied, laughing. He lay down beside her on the grass, glancing at her quickly out of the corner of his eye, before looking up at the sky. "Thoughtful, again?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. Reliving the past… it really was my fault, you know. Ren doesn't know it; if she did, she would hate me. Oh, she would never forgive me…" Layla bit her tongue and closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling out of her eyes.

"Whoa, what are you talking about? Ren could never hate you; the two of you are so close, and she's your sister, your twin. And though I have no idea what you're claiming is your fault, I'm sure it isn't," James said, his piercing gaze meeting hers when she opened her eyes. His arm went under her neck and pulled her body close to his, and he gave her a comforting hug. Layla's heart fluttered, though it hurt for a moment. She knew that he was only doing this as a friend; it meant nothing to him, though it meant everything to her. Still, she ignored that part of her mind and just relaxed in his arms.

"Thank you… thank you so much. For everything," she whispered. They lay in silence for a moment, just enjoying each other's presence. "Have you ever been dying to say so many things, but either just can't find the words or are too afraid to say it?"

"Yeah… and then sometimes you have so many feelings, that it's hard to know what to say," he said softly.

"Yeah… I don't know; it's just so confusing."

James gave her a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry about it. And I'm sure whatever problems you're having with your sister will work out. I'll always be here for you to talk to."

"I know, thank you. I will tell you, I just… I need to tell my sister, first. She needs to know," Layla let out a breath that she didn't know she had been holding. "I just don't know how to tell her."

"Wake up, sleepy head," Layla said teasingly, pulling back the curtains around Ren's bed. "You've been asleep forever; it's time to get up."

"What time is it?" Ren groaned, slowing raising herself into a sitting position.

"Almost noon; you've missed supper and breakfast. I suggest you come down for some lunch unless you want to starve."

Layla thought about that statement for a moment. She had skipped lunch, had a small dinner, and a small breakfast; she was being rather hypocritical, again. She smiled to herself, though; for about the tenth time since she had woken up, she relived the long conversation that she had with James last night. They had talked about almost everything, and though most of the topics weren't very cheerful, the thought of the conversation still made her glow.

"Ah… yeah… I'll be down in a minute," Ren said, yawning loudly. She got up and began rummaging around in her trunk for some clean clothes.

Layla sat on her bed and watched her sister. It took her a moment to realize that Ren was still wearing the clothes that she had worn yesterday. She thought her sister might have just read for a while, and then gone to bed; apparently she had just fallen asleep unexpectedly.

"You fell asleep in your clothes?" she asked, not knowing why her mind was making such a big deal out of it. For a sickening moment, she wondered if Ren and her talked so little that this was what she was resorted to talking about with her sister.

"Yeah…" Ren said, sounding annoyed. "It's not like I meant to. I just did."

Ren pulled on a new shirt, and Layla nodded, feeling stupid. A few minutes later, when Ren was ready to go, they silently walked to the Great Hall together.

"Is it just me, or is it really cold in here?" Ren said as they entered the room. Layla stared at her, startled after such a long silence. Her sister shivered, and Layla grew worried again.

"It's you. It's probably just that you've been asleep for so long up in the warm tower," Layla replied, slightly annoyed that her sister had been almost hiding from her up in that stupid bed. Her mind chanted "hypocrite" and her, and she scowled, aggravated with herself.

The twins sat together at the far end of the hall, a bit reserved from the other Gryffindors, like they usually were. Most food had already disappeared, as lunch was drawing towards an end, but there was still a decent amount left. They both filled up their plates, though they also both cast the food a sickened look. Layla ate a little of it, but Ren just pushed it around on her plate.

"I really don't feel good… like I'm going to throw up," Ren said, pushing the plate of food away from her and putting her head in her hands.

"Drink," Layla ordered, handing her the flask that she usually kept clipped to her waist. Ren stared at it for a moment, before a shaking hand unscrewed the cap and she hesitantly took a gulp. She looked a bit better afterwards, thrusting the flask back into Layla's hands and letting a sigh escape her lips.

"I'm going back to the Common Room," Ren said weakly, getting up from the bench and slowly leaving the room.

Layla looked sadly after her, wishing that her sister would open up with her, and that she would get the courage to do the same. Her eyes looked across the Hall and met James' gaze. Her lips formed a weak smile, as if trying to reassure him that she was fine though she obviously wasn't. Glancing at her plate, which was still mostly full, she sighed and pushed her plate away, before getting up and leaving the room.

Rather than return to the Common Room and face her sister, she returned to the place where her old bedroom had appeared. She had asked James about that last night; she had wanted to know how her bedroom had suddenly appeared in the castle. He said it was called the Room of Requirements, and took the form of wherever the person wanted to be.

The rest of the afternoon, she spent cleaning up the mess that she had left her room in. She made a brief appearance at dinner, where James shot her another worried look, before heading back to Gryffindor Tower. After a quick shower, she crawled into bed, though it was still really early for her. She glanced sadly at her sister's closed off bed, before pulling the curtains shut around her own. That night, she cried herself to sleep, for what would be the first of many long days to end in such a fashion.