Waking up with a start, Ren was disappointed to discover she had simply been dreaming. She always hated having nice dreams, then waking up to know they wouldn't ever happen. Rolling onto her belly, Ren sighed, trying to relive the dream that had just occurred. Shutting her eyes tight, she bit her lip. It was her and Audrey, alone. Not doing anything, just lying on the banks of the lake together. Absentmindedly staring at the moonlight sky, fingers intertwined.

Opening her eyes, Ren silently cursed herself for thinking like that. She felt stupid and unclean when thoughts like that ran across her mind, and she knew she shouldn't think like that. The past week or so she had been dabbing at the possibilities that she was attracted to the female population, but she was very unsure, thinking it was just a strange phase. Still, she didn't know why she felt such a bond with Audrey, it was just so.

Feeling fully awake, Ren checked the clock on her night stand, it was four in the morning. Not wanting to lay in bed for two more hours, she slung back her sheets, deciding to take a shower and finish her Defense Against the Dark Arts essay assigned yesterday.

By five, Ren was in the Common Room sitting by the slow burning fire, pondering what she could squeeze into another paragraph to meet the requirements. She was still the only one up, much to her surprise. But that didn't matter to her. Chewing on her quill, Ren let her eyes slide up to gaze toward the dormitories. She could hear some slight movements from up there, her eyes fixed on the top of the stairs. Almost on cue, there stood Audrey, looking down to Ren in slight confusion. "What are you doing?" she asked softly, striding down the stairs.

"Finishing some homework..." Ren replied, a shiver running up her spine, her mind flashing back to her dream. "Couldn't sleep..."

"Oh. Well, I was just wondering." she shrugged. "Just a little surprised to see anyone else up at this hour."

"I've not been sleeping well." Ren explained, scribbling something down. "Not since about a week ago." A week ago. A week ago Ren had held Audrey's hand. Not in a romantic way, but all the same, she didn't care. She wanted to hold it again. Her heart was pounding in her chest, like it would explode, as she stared into Audrey's eyes. She tried to read what she was thinking, but the light in the room was poor enough she couldn't see very well at all.

"You know, I was wondering, why is it that you moved here anyway?" Audrey asked, breaking the silence. Ren stiffened, scanning the room nervously. Her mind flashed back to the memories of France. Her eyes stung as she held back tears, her stomach becoming increasingly unsettled. "Ren..?"

"Hm?"

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"You know what?" Ren said dully to her sister that night.

"What's that?" Layla replied, looking up from her homework. It was fairly late; most students had already gone to bed, save a few, so Ren felt it safe to hold a private conversation. The lone group of students that were left was innocently across the room, playing a game of cards and talking loudly.

"I never realized until today, we never figured out who that was and how they knew." Ren said darkly, in a low tone of voice. Layla froze, looking nervously into her sister's eyes. "I never thought about it much until today."

"What made today any different?" Layla inquired, squirming around uncomfortably in her chair.

"I was talking to Audrey this morning, and she asked why we came here." Ren explained, shifting in her chair.

"Oh..."

"And I realized I don't know." Ren said pressing on, with a sense of urgency. "I mean, I know, but... you understand what I mean..."

"Yeah..." Layla said, wanting to avoid the conversation altogether.

"I'm sorry." Ren said softly "I probably shouldn't have mentioned that. I know you don't like thinking about it."

"Mhmm..." Layla had broken eye contact with Ren, looking back to the parchment and books sprawled over the table. Ren sighed, resting her chin on her arm, silently watching her sister scribble notes onto scraps of parchment. Yawning, Ren realized how late it really was. "Guess I'm going to bed." she said breaking the silence. She stood up, rounding the table giving Layla a small goodnight hug. "Mind you don't stay up too late."

Heading up the stairs, Ren blindly went where her feet took her. She stood rooted just in front of the Fifth Years door. Looking around cautiously, she resisted an urge to visit the Seventh Year Dormitory, where Audrey bunked. Blinking and forcing back these impulses, Ren hastily entered their own dormitory.

Another few days passed lazily as ever, Ren was feeling sick all the time now, shaking often, especially when she thought of Audrey. Ren knew she should talk to Layla about whatever it was she was feeling, but she was still not quite sure herself. Not wanting to come right out to Layla with what was on her mind, she'd rather wait for an opportune moment. Ren knew her sister well enough that she knew she wouldn't have to wait long.

That Friday, the two were still up much past midnight, by that time everyone else had retired to bed. Just as she had hoped, Layla began to talk seriously with Ren. "You know, I've been a bit worried about you." she said "You haven't been eating or anything, you've been sick a lot recently."

"Yeah about that..." Ren said slowly, nervously playing with her hair. After double checking the room was completely empty, she couldn't put it off anymore. She knew the time was then. "I've been having these really weird thoughts lately, like the past few months..."

"Like what?"

"Like... Thoughts on girls." Her knuckles turned white as they fell from her hair to tights fists in her lap. The thought didn't seem to have made a spark with Layla, who sat in her chair, slightly confused looking. Ren reworded what she was trying to say. "I mean... I think I like girls... " She held her breath nervously as she awaited Layla's reply.

"You're kidding." Layla said, grinning slightly.

"No. I'm not." Ren said, slightly hurt that her sister wouldn't take her seriously on such a matter. "I've honestly been thinking seriously about this, and I really do think I like girls."

"I see..." Layla said almost in a whisper. She had become completely solemn by Ren's last statement, taking the situation into consideration, and trying to stomach what her sister was saying. Ren, on the other hand was shocked her sister hadn't said anything. She seemed not to show any emotion, which worried Ren. "Would I be wrong in assuming you wouldn't tell me who it is?"

"I never said there was a person involved with this." Ren said defensively, blushing. "All I'm trying to say is, I'm thinking I like girls, and that's all."

"Oh." Layla didn't seem too convinced, but remained silent for a moment. "Come on. Who is it?"

"No." Ren teased, her mood lightening considerably. Though her heart was still pounding uncontrollably, and she was shaking, it was a welcomed feeling to know she wasn't the only one with these thoughts now. She was feeling considerably lighter, and was glad that was off her chest. "I'm going to bed." she said, wanting to end the day on a lighter note than the past week or so.

"Bonne nuit." Layla said softly, seeming to be thinking deeply. Ren thought she looked slightly guilty, but couldn't be sure, so she shrugged it off.

"Layla..?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks... for not freaking out or anything." Ren felt her checks flush.

"It's not big deal." Layla replied "You're my sister. I'd always support you. You know that."

"I know... but thanks all the same."

A few days later, and Ren was glad to have told Layla her feelings, but that by no means meant she had told her everything. As far as Ren was concerned, Layla had no clue about how she felt toward Audrey, and that's how she wanted it. Sort of. She couldn't help but feel guilty, like she should tell her. But she didn't want to bother her sister with petty things like that. Lately, Layla herself had been acting funny. Ren wasn't sure what it was, but she blamed it on being away from Jeff, her boyfriend, for so long. The way she figured it, they had been away from France for a little over three months now; of course Layla would be frustrated from being away from Jeff. If Layla really wanted Ren to know something, she would tell her; until then Ren wouldn't bother her. So, she kept her attention on what she was feeling.

The days had been steadily growing shorter, as was Ren's attention toward school. The closer she felt toward Audrey, the more she liked her, and the less she was concerned with school. Many times she would stop and think to herself that she really should make more of an effort in her studies, that was why she was at school after all, but every time she sat down to study she just couldn't keep firm attention to the pages in front of her. Her mind, and often enough her eyes, would wander to Audrey wondering what to do with herself. More often than enough she found herself asking Audrey for help with her studies, which usually ended up with conversations having nothing to do with school. It was during those times that she really was happy, but upon departure for bed or classes she would feel at a loss.

Ren was still rather unsure of everything though. She had known Audrey for about three months, just friends, and about two weeks ago she began thinking of her in a different way. It wasn't until she had held Audrey's hand that she was really positive of those feelings, but even now she was slightly unsure. She felt as if things were going too fast, and if she admitted her feelings to Audrey or even Layla what if the next week she felt differently? Then she would be in an even bigger mess that already. It would be better to deny any of these feelings until she was sure. Until she was sure, she would not think about it. Simple as that.

However, not matter how hard she tried not to think of her situation, it was futile. Layla persisted in asking, Ren always refusing flatly, always with a blush and stupid grin. If that didn't make anything obvious, nothing would. So after a few days, Ren decided enough was enough.

"Come on Ren, I won't tell, who is it?" Layla asked playfully for what seemed like the millionth time. She seemed to be slightly amused by this game.

"Guess." Ren replied, lowering her eyes and trying not to grin thinking about Audrey. She didn't want to come right out and say, though the classroom was full of assorted conversations, she couldn't be sure no one was eavesdropping.

"I'm assuming I know them." Layla said thoughtfully.

"Yeah..."

"Our age or older?"

".. Older... "

"Tell me."

"Who do you think it is?"

Layla hesitated a moment, growing still and solemn as she realized Ren was being serious. She seemed to have a vague idea, but still paused almost as if questioning if it was ok to say it. "Is it... Is it Audrey?"

Seeming surprised her sister had guessed correctly, Ren stiffened up, not sure what to say. Looking at her hands laying idly on the countertop, chopping knife in one hand and the other holding the rat tails she had been chopping. Slowly, she nodded, a faint grin on her face, and a blush in her cheeks. "Is it obvious?" she asked, concerned.

"Only because I know you so well."

"Good."

A pause in the conversation swept over them before Layla spoke again. "Are you going to tell her?"

"No."