I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…
The feeling in the pit of her stomach made her feel nauseous, the way it twisted and turned inside her, along with the constant pounding that banged against the inside of her head.
She clicked her tongue against the top of her mouth, swallowing hard against the knot in her throat. A horrible sensation crossed over her as if she was right there back in the moment; more and more time was passing by as she let them reel over her. His hand on her legs, her hips, her stomach, it all felt so real in that split second that the tears in her eyes that she desperately fought off fell down her cheeks.
Squinting her eyes against the bright light that caused her head to bang furiously, back and forth back and forth. The way her thoughts seemed to spill over her face, showed the psychiatrist that she was in pain, seemed to be too much for her now and maybe for her to ever tell.
Shivers fell down her body as she stood on shaky legs and proceeded to walk from the office, being let go early, not making any progress.
She thought back to the night she had gotten home from the hospital. It was a night she would never forget, the feelings she felt inside that overwhelmed her and caused her to cry until her pillow was soaked through and her eyes swelled with the redness that outlined them.
She showered for a good hour and a half, worrying House until he himself came knocking on the door seeing if she was okay. Something he would never do, but found himself doing more of, was worrying about her, and about the people around him, hiding it from them with the sarcasm he used every single day.
The way his voice sounded, so full of concern frightened her, until it came to the very thing she thought she had put away for good. She searched her mind for anything that she could possibly use to end her life, until her head pounded harder and harder.
As soon as the thought had come it had gone, but the same couldn't be said for House. He played with the thought over and over again in his head, wondering how she could possibly be spending so much time in that bathroom, the very place he had stopped her from going the first day she had come home.
She stopped herself, thinking into the past, and zoning out was becoming much too common for her.
The way her life was predictable, but not at the same time was strange. Always knowing something bad was right around the corner, but never knowing what it would hold, until she ran straight into it.
There he was. She hadn't wanted to tell him anything yet, she hadn't even picked up the phone to tell him everything that had happened that night, instead of burdening everyone else around her, she kept it inside and let it eat at her insides more and more every day.
She froze. He looked perfect like he always had, but perfect always had its imperfections, his tired eyes and the way they seemed to flutter with tears that didn't fall were his.
She held her head down as he froze too, not knowing if he could handle what she had to say. So instead she looked up into his face, seeing the distress that played upon it.
She smiled as a tear threatened to fall, but she held it back with a quick shake of her head, and kept her arms across her chest as if in a defensive position.
Walking towards her he gently put her arms around her and pulled her in close. She flinched. The sudden affection threw her off, expecting so much more than this. She let her head fall to his chest, "Sorry I never called."
He stepped back from her his face more cold than the last, now it was determined, determined for an answer she supposed.
"What do you want from me Gary?" Fear and anxiety came out clearly across her voice and he took advantage of it.
"I want my girlfriend back", he said bluntly and turned to walk in the opposite direction, leaving her standing with her lively blue eyes, looking hopeless and filled with sorrow.
She looked up and into the office that she was standing in front of.
She caught his eye, which she suspected was on her from the second she stood there with Gary. He was protective and she knew that, but she couldn't face him now. So she gave one quick glance without even a smile, but a glare that could kill, the one he gave.
She went to find someone she could talk to, someone other than House.