In order to take her mind off of things, Layla began to tease Ren about Audrey, which began to get on her sister's nerves after a few weeks. Still, the twins were apart often enough that Layla's thoughts were getting to her, and she knew that she was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. At lunch, Ren sat and talked with Audrey, and after classes and weekends the two just did their own thing. Usually, they were too busy taking notes or working to talk much in class, so the two didn't talk very often. When they did, Layla made sure to talk about Ren's problems, because she knew that Ren was going through a hard time and needed support, and insisted in her mind that she shouldn't burden her sister with her pathetic issues.
Layla had been watching her sister for the past few weeks, ever since finding out about her sister's crush. She knew that these emotions were tearing Ren apart, and hated the thought of not being able to help; she hated feeling useless and just watching her sister suffer. Ren was shaking a lot, eating less, always cold, and getting continually weaker. Layla knew that her sister wasn't sleeping well at night; sometimes, early in the morning, she would hear her sister muttering Audrey's name softly to herself. It didn't dawn on Layla that she was sleeping just as poorly, if she was awake to hear that. Plus, Ren was constantly on the verge of tears, unless she was with Audrey. For that alone, Layla became quite bitter with Audrey; she was able to make Ren feel better, while her own twin was powerless.
When the inevitable breakdown finally came, Layla was very glad that it was in the one class that she and Ren didn't have together: Divination. It was a typical Tuesday afternoon, but Layla wasn't paying any attention to Trelawney. In fact, she hadn't been paying much attention in any of her classes, though usually she found them interesting; lately, she had been thinking about Jeff or James all of the time. At that particular time, Layla had been thinking about Jeff; she honestly didn't know what to think about him. She had loved him so much, but he had cheated on her, hurt her, and what was worse, he had been almost as responsible as she for the death of her mother.
Emotions were much too difficult to handle, especially for a teenage girl with a mess of problems. Layla's thoughts were just too much to handle; so, natural reactions won out, and she began sobbing. She curled herself into a ball, wrapping her arms around her legs and burying her face into her knees. To anyone looking at her, she would have looked like a lump of black rags, with her baggy clothes and long hair hiding all of her pale skin. Rather than actually work, she remained like that for the rest of the class, grateful that she sat in the very back corner by herself. When the bell rang, she practically ran down the ladder and to the nearest bathroom.
Luckily, it was empty, so she stood for a moment, looking at her reflection in the mirror. After splashing some water onto her face, the tear stains on her cheeks and her watery eyes weren't noticeable anymore. She stared at herself for a moment, and then she suddenly wanted to change to her vampire form, which she hadn't been in since the day before she had left France. Despite the fact that she was in a bathroom and someone could walk in at any time, Layla pulled out her wand and muttered the spell that would change her eye color back to red. Her canines lengthened and their points became sharper. Just like that, she was her true self again. She suddenly looked taller, regal, more confident. Layla grinned at her reflection; she wasn't pretending anymore, and it felt good.
Just then, she heard the door open with a squeak and a girl ran in sobbing, going right past Layla and into a toilet stall. Layla had frozen in shock, but quickly retracted her teeth, and changed her eyes back to dark blue. She glanced at the door, and then at the stall that the girl had run into, debating what she should do. Sighing and berating herself in her head for being too nice, she walked over and knocked softly on the door of the bathroom stall.
"Are you okay?" she asked to the flat wood, before it swung open to reveal a short girl. Reddish brown hair with copper highlights fell down to her waist, and her grey-green eyes were shining with tears.
"I'm sorry… I didn't know anyone else was in here… I'll leave you alone," she muttered, biting her lip.
"What? Oh, no, it's perfectly fine; I was just wondering if there was anything that I could do to help you."
"Why would you want to help me?" The expression on the girl's face was a mixture of confusion and curiosity.
"Well, typically, when someone's upset, people try to help them and make them feel better… typically," Layla said, holding out her hand. "I'm Layla Sorge, by the way. What's your name?"
"Isabella Montagne," the girl replied with a smile, shaking the offered hand.
"Why were you crying, if you don't mind me asking?"
"My brother… died. I just found out today, right after Transfiguration. I just… he took precautions, they made sure of it, and now people might suspect them… I hope we don't have to move…"
Layla looked at her for a moment, confused, but then realized that Isabella was on the verge of crying again. "So, um… where do you live now?" She mentally kicked herself for coming up with such a lame way to distract the girl from her worried thoughts.
"Auvergne."
"Hey, that's not too far from Paris!"
"How'd you know that? It's such a small town…" Isabella suddenly looked suspicious.
"I used to live in a 'small town' over near Luxembourg, and I visited that area once when I was younger."
"Oh… I guess that explains it."
"No need to be so paranoid, Isabella," Layla teased, throwing her arm around the shorter girl's shoulders as they walked out of the bathroom together.
"Call me Ella," she replied, smiling up at her.
The two spent the rest of the day getting to know each other, and teasing each other in French. Layla hadn't had a long conversation in French for a long time, and it had a calming result on her.
In Layla's next Transfiguration class, McGonagall passed around a slip of parchment for all of the students who weren't going home over Winter Break to sign. This was a surprise in itself to her; she hadn't realized how close to the holidays it had become.
A few days later, Layla decided that she needed to tell her twin about Jeff and James. Once that decision was made, she spent the entire day gathering up her courage. As they began to walk up the stairs in the Great Hall, prepared to head back to the Common Room now that dinner was over, Layla realized that this might be her only chance to get her sister alone.
"Ren… I have something to tell you," she said softly, her mind still preoccupied with the thought of what she was about to say.
"Really?"
"Yeah; follow me."
"Sure," Ren said, turning away from the path to Gryffindor Tower. They walked in silence through a series of dimly lit corridors.
"Right here," Layla said, stopping next to the painting of dancing trolls.
"There's nothing here," Ren said, sounding irritated.
Layla didn't say anything in response, but merely began pacing as she had been doing so often in the past few weeks. The familiar door appeared, and Ren shot a surprised look at it, but stepped through it when Layla held it open for her.
"What is this? This is amazing," Ren gasped, looking around the room in wonder, much as Layla had when she had first entered it.
"They call it the Room of Requirements," Layla said, locking the door and then walking over to her bed. Layla pointed to the chair beside the desk, before picking up her guitar and gently strumming the strings. "Sit down, we need to talk."
Ren threw a sock off of the chair and sat, as her sister continued to play random chords, seemingly lost in thought. "Why did you bring me here?"
"I figured you should know about it. Besides, I needed a place to talk to you, and this is about as private as it gets," Layla said with a shrug.
"What about?"
"It's kind of hard." Layla's hand froze over the strings of her guitar, and she looked up at her twin. She wondered how to tell her sister that their mother's death was her fault; that they might not be safe in their new home because of what she had done.
"It's usually best to just say it, get it over with."
"I know… but I'm no good at 'just saying it'," Layla said. Telling her sister about James wouldn't be too hard, that much she could do, so she figured she'd start there. "There's… this guy. Say I like him… and… well, I really like him."
"What about Jeff?"
Layla looked back down at Louis, running her fingers over his smooth blue body. "I don't know. I still like him… but it's just that…" She wondered how to tell her sister that it's hard to love and hate someone so much at once. She loved him, for who he was, how he made her feel; yet she hated him, for breaking her heart, and for turning the villagers against her mother.
"You've been away from him for such a long time that you've lost your feelings for him?" Ren suggested, trying to help her sister voice her thoughts.
Layla shrugged but said nothing. Yes, the distance was a part of it, allowing her to focus more on her hatred, and try to ignore the fact that she was in love with him still. "Ever since I've known James, I can't stop thinking about him. I like Jeff, and I can't stop thinking about him, either; but for everything that I lacked with Jeff, it's like James can make up for that."
"Well, I don't see any harm in that. I mean, we're probably never going back to France anyway, so it's not like you honestly have a chance with Jeff anyway," Ren stopped abruptly, looking guilty for having said that, but Layla didn't make any sign of acknowledging what had just been said, as she randomly being playing another song.
Once she had finished playing, she looked up at the wall on which a mirror hung, meeting the eyes of her reflection. If she looked at her sister, she was afraid that Ren would see her emotions, and know that what she had just said was the least of what she needed to say. "I miss France," she whispered, more to herself than her older twin. "But then again, I like James so much. It's not like a crush, so much as a…"
"Obsession?" Ren interrupted, and Layla nodded slowly. "I know how you feel."
"You can go, if you want," she said, knowing that her sister was thinking of Audrey, and probably would rather hang out with her. The familiar, sharp pain resurfaced as she remembered that she was unable to make her twin smile anymore, only Audrey could make Ren happy these days.
"Not if you've got more to tell me."
"There's nothing to tell. I mean, that's it. I like James Karn, and that's it." Layla immediately regretted the words; she had brought Ren here to tell her about Jeff, but had chickened out.
"That's all that's been gnawing at you?"
"Yes," Layla said; if she was going to lie, she might as well do it properly.
"Okay, then… I'll go." Ren stood up, pushing the chair back to the desk. She hesitated for a moment, as if wanting to say something else, but walked quickly and silently to the door.
As soon as she was gone, Layla broke down into tears again. Setting Louis gently on the floor, she buried her face into her pillow, breathing in the smells of France, her mother, her home.
"Désolée… ma soeur, ma mère… je m'excuse d'avoir été stupide… j'étais tellement stupide… pardonne-moi, je vous demande… désolée…" she muttered into her pillow.
An hour later, after erasing all the signs that she had just been crying, she returned to Gryffindor Tower. She pretended to not see Ren, talking to Audrey near the fireplace, and went straight upstairs for a shower. Directly after pulling on her pajamas, she crawled into bed. When she closed her eyes, all she could see was James' beautiful brown eyes, and Jeff's deep blue ones. Then, her mother's kind green eyes, flecked with red, replaced both other pairs, and Layla cried herself to sleep; yet another night in which she fell asleep on a wet pillow, curled up in a tight ball as if that position would offer her body from escape from the cold that she constantly felt.