Christmas Break had come at a fast pace. The halls were less crowded, as a good chunk of the student body was now at home with their families. A scent of nutmeg, cinnamon, and evergreen was present wherever one went. The halls were bright and cheerful with the decorations. Evergreens lined the Great Hall, all decked out with tinsel, ornaments, and other assorted decorations. Younger students were found traveling in packs of choruses, singing every Christmas Carol imaginable. The grounds were covered in a soft layer of powdery white snow. Everything was in place for Christmas.
A few days before Christmas, Ren was sitting with Audrey at lunch, forcing down food as usual. Layla was off studying in the library with James. Thinking about her concern for Layla, Ren had just taken a sip from her flask, placing it down on the table by her plate, when Audrey pointed to it. "What's in there?"
"Nothing." Ren answered quickly, her eyes darting from the dented flask to Audrey, then back. She shrugged, not knowing what to say, clipping it onto her belt.
"There's obviously something in there." Audrey said playfully, stealthily grabbing the flask from Ren's waist. Ren shivered, trying to take it out of Audrey's hand; but Audrey held it away, swinging it around just out of her reach.
"Audrey." Ren said seriously. "Give it back. Please."
"Why? Is it Polyjuice Potion? Are you a Death Eater?"
"' 'ey! Don't joke about things like that!" One of the Prefects from down the table said, before turning back to their conversation. They obviously didn't care at all, but were simply saying so to uphold their duties.
"Give it back!" Ren pleaded, a soft but frantic tone of voice. She reached out trying to grab it once more, but again, Audrey pulled away. "It's nothing, just let me have it."
"You're right, it doesn't smell like anything." Audrey noted, unscrewing the lid and inhaling. Before Ren could stop her, Audrey had put her lips to the mouth of the flask, taking a swig. Her eyes enlarged as she jerked the flask away with disgust. Acting quickly, Ren grabbed Audrey's hand and pulled her out of the Great Hall. At this point, she didn't care if Audrey had the flask or not anymore, what's done is done, and she just needed to get out of there.
"Don't say a word." Ren said through her gritted teeth. She was trying her best not to be angry, which was painful to be upset with Audrey. But still, she had done something Ren regretted, and now she needed to do something she hoped she never would have to do. Ren let go of Audrey's hand after pulling her halfway up the stairs to the second floor, she was too upset to even touch Audrey, not like she could on normal circumstances anyway.
Reaching the Gryffindor Tower, she pulled Audrey into her secluded dormitory after making sure no one was in. Locking the door, she cast a silencing spell over the room. No one from outside could hear they were in there, nor could they get in.
"Ren... why is there blood in here?" Audrey asked, shakily sitting down onto Ren's bed.
"Oh god." Ren said frustrated "You haven't put two and two together?" Audrey slowly shook her head, seeming to possibly working things over in her head, but still confused. "Christ. Don't freak out." She was worried, worried to the point of shaking almost beyond control. She took a few steps back from where Audrey was seated, withdrawing her wand from her robe pocket. "Too late to go back now..." she muttered.
"Acclaro!" Ren knew by now that it was better to close her eyes as the charm vanished. Changing the color or look of yourself was painful, for Metamorphagus and just regular charms. Rubbing her eyes, Ren looked to Audrey, who was sitting at the edge of the bed. It appeared she was both eager and slightly scared; she looked to Ren, who still wasn't done. Letting her canines grow out, Ren's teeth molded into sharp fangs. Ren gave her a worried smile.
"You... You're a vampire!" Ren nodded her head, for some reason feeling slightly ashamed. Her eyes meet with the floor, she didn't know what to do or say, she hadn't known any other way as effective to tell Audrey as this; she wouldn't have believed her if Ren had just told her. "What the hell!"
The senses of a vampire are much more acute than that of a human, Ren could sense Audrey's blood pulsing through her body at an unnaturally fast pace. "Audrey- listen-"
"Ren, what the FUCK!" Audrey had leaped off the bed, inching to the door in a scared panic. This was most definitely not how Ren had planned this conversation, now she was beginning to panic.
"Please, Audrey, listen to me-" Ren followed Audrey over to the door.
"What the fuck is this all about?" Audrey's hand was on the door knob. This was out of hand.
"Stop!" Ren said, her voice pleading with Audrey, placing one hand on the door in hopes of restraining Audrey. Her crimson eyes darted to meet Audrey's green; she couldn't see any emotion in her eyes but fear. Hope was leaving her completely; she swallowed hard, fighting back tears. "I haven't done anything yet have I?" she asked softly.
"No." Audrey replied shortly, putting on an act of courage.
"Then tell me... Why would this make anything any different?" Ren inquired, looking to the floor. She couldn't handle looking into Audrey's eyes anymore; she couldn't stand to see her in such a state. Audrey remained silent, muddling over the right words. "I wouldn't dream of doing anything to you." Her hand slid off the door, falling down to her side. She didn't know what to do. She was standing alone with someone she loved tremendously, trying to choke out bits of the most awkward conversation she had ever had, forcing herself not to cry, not to do anything stupid, not to fuck up.
"Me. But what about the rest of the school?" Audrey asked, gesturing to the general direction of the Common Room.
"No." Ren said, looking up, her vision blurred. "I wouldn't do anything to anyone." It hurt to think of Audrey doubting her, to have her critiquing her. "I wasn't raised to kill, or harm mortals in any way." At this, she sensed Audrey's heartbeat decreasing slightly. Her blood was pulsing through her body at such a rate; Ren could only wonder what it tasted like, but the faint aroma she was getting was amazing. "And I would only transform a mortal if they were willing..." she continued, whipping her eye nonchalantly. "But I never have." Audrey still said nothing. Feeling doubtful, Ren strode back over to her bed, picking up things on her bedside table.
"What are you doing?"
"Packing." Ren replied, whipping her eyes again. "I can't stay here, not now."
"Why?"
"Because you know now. More than likely, it will get out about Layla and I, widespread panic will sweep across the castle, and Dumbledore will kick us out for breaking our promise."
"What promise?" Audrey asked, becoming bolder as she marched over to Ren.
"When Dumbledore allowed us to enroll, he knew we're vampires, but made us swear to not tell anyone. Not like we would have anyway." Ren sighed. "Then you came along..."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't say that." Ren said bitterly through her teeth. "Just... you can go, I know you want to." Pulling a book out from under her pillow, Ren swept her palm across the cover. She must have read this book about a million times since she had checked it out for the first time, back when everyone had been gone at Hogsmeade. It seemed like ages ago... "If you would, take this back to the library for me." Ren said, stretching her hand, and the book, out to Audrey.
"Ok." Audrey replied, guilt ringing in her voice. She took the book, tucking it safely under her arm and strode out the door. Ren watched in a frozen pose as Audrey walked out. She felt as if she were never to see her again, like nothing mattered anymore. Her knees were weak, shaking, tears fell down her cheeks. Nothing mattered. Collapsing onto her bed, she cried, letting the pillows become soggy and the sheets twisted. Nothing mattered. Time passed slowly. What seemed to be an hour turned out to only be ten minutes. Footsteps approached.
Hastily, Ren sat up, dried her eyes, and transformed back into her mortal form. A knock on the door rung out against the silence of the afternoon. Ren didn't care who it was, instead she busied herself with organizing her books into a neat stack. Her heart was pounding through her veins, but she remained clam until she heard a voice talking to her.
"I saw what you had been reading..." Audrey's voice said slowly, cautiously.
Ren spun around to see Audrey standing awkwardly in the doorway, holding the book open to where Ren had left off, easily marked by a scrap of parchment. "What about it?" Ren asked, refusing to look Audrey straight in the eye.
"Can I ask you something?" This time curiosity filled her voice.
"What?"
"Will you change back? I want to see you." Ren's eye darted to meet Audrey's.
"If you want." Ren replied, fishing for her wand. Quickly undoing the hasty charm she had just performed; relaxing, and allowing her fangs grow. Instantly she could sense Audrey's pulse once more, this time relaxed, slow. She was relieved at how calm she was now, looking at her with a questioning look.
"I just-" Audrey stopped, stuck on her words. "I want to know why it is you're here, in Britain."
"Please." Ren pleaded, looking away. "Don't make me think about it." Memories came gushing to her, causing her to become weak on the feet. Caving in onto her bed, Ren tried desperately not to cry.
"Shit, I'm sorry." Audrey cried, pacing over to Ren. "If you don't want to talk about it that's ok." She sat down on the bed, next to Ren.
"You didn't know." Ren replied, burying her face into her hands; a feeble attempt to be brave.
"I'm sorry." Audrey said again, making a bold move and wrapping her arm around Ren, pulling her close. Ren acted on impulse, instinctively wrapping her arms around Audrey's neck, burying her face into her shoulder. She was scared to pieces, sitting there; the one person she had immense feelings for had their arm around her. Trembling all over, both from crying and from pure nervousness. She felt stupid from forcing herself onto Audrey like this, but there was also a part of her swimming in greed. She didn't know what to do, so she just sat there, holding onto Audrey and crying. Apparently Audrey didn't mind too much, which was good, because Ren was holding on so tight she didn't have much of a choice. It was comforting to have Audrey holding her, gently stroking her hair. After a while, Ren came to realize, she wasn't drying because of her past per-say. She was crying because of how badly she loved Audrey, she realized that she had been longing for her touch, and somehow felt that she would never be able to receive the feelings from Audrey that she felt for her.
"You better go." Ren said, finally breaking away, not like she wanted to.
"Why?"
"I don't want to do something stupid." Ren replied, whipping a tear as she became dangerously aware of how good the faint smell of Audrey's blood seemed.
"Like what?"
Those words, those two four letter words, seemed to hang in the air for hours. Slowly, Ren coined together a daring move, but it was rather spur of the moment, and she wanted to get it off her chest.
"Like... kiss you."
Time stopped. Audrey didn't look phased at all, rather mellow and pleased. The two of them were leaning in closer and closer each second, until their faces were a mere inch away from each other. Audrey's breath swept over Ren's lips like a warm blanket. It seemed they were stuck on that second, until a whirlwind took over, and Ren realized she and Audrey were kissing. Sweet, quick, and wonderful. Breaking, in what Ren thought to be too quick, the two sat there stone still, the only sound that could be heard was the gentle panting of the two girls. They were close; so close in fact, that their noses were touching, eyes staring at each other in a piercing manner.
"Like that?" Audrey breathed, seeming almost challenged.
"Yeah." Ren replied softly, a blush rising in her cheeks. Realizing what was happening, her mind screamed in protest. She was being stupid, wanting Audrey like a greedy child. This had to be a dream. There was no way Audrey would be coming onto her like this, not after how angry she had been with her just a little while ago. She took in a deep breath, backing off and looking away. Her heart was hammering in her chest, so was Audrey's, she was shaking with excitement, becoming stupid and numb from lust. "Complètement dingue..." she said to herself, shoving her face into her hands as she silently cursed herself out in French even more. "J'ai l'air con."
"What's wrong..?" Audrey asked, obviously not understanding the self insults.
"I'm an idiot that's what's wrong." Ren said, twisting her fingers together as she tried to lessen her shaking. She looked to the wall as she spoke, not wanting to look at Audrey.
"You're not." Audrey insisted, trailing her index knuckle along Ren's jaw line, forcing her to look at her. "Why do you say that?"
"Alors la..." Quickly remembering Audrey didn't speak French, so spoke again in English. "I... I don't know..." She couldn't seem to find the words. They were there, hiding in the dark corner of her mind, but she couldn't seem to get out what she knew she had to say. "Because... Just a while ago, I was so mad with you, but not you really. I was mad because... I didn't want to be discovered, and leave Hogwarts. I have so much here. I can't leave. It'd kill me." Ren was suppressing tears, she felt like a bottomless well of misery when the thought of living without Audrey ran across her mind.
"Like what?" Audrey asked, cocking her head slightly in a questioning manner.
Ren's heart skipped a beat. She stopped breathing. Looking away, she one again began talking to the wall. "Like you." She said shakily. "I couldn't bear a day without you. I... damnit..." Hanging her head in shame, she couldn't muster the strength to say the words that were dangling on the tip of her tongue. "J'ai un faible pour toi..." she said not realizing she was reverting back to French. But looking to Audrey, she once again realized she didn't understand. So, sucking in a deep breath, so decided now was never. It was time to get it over with. "Audrey. I-I love you."