Hi again! Kellygirl wanted me to tell you that she's writing again on Wattpad under the name "lyonmom", and has a book coming out on Amazon next year! A real book! Go give her some support on Wattpad

Sorry for saying "weekly updates" then not following through :( I am graduating from University this year and applying for Grad school.

Chapter 8

Sian sat alone in the dank, darkened hotel room. Empty liquor bottles littered the table and floor. His mother was missing and his father was dead, and it wasn't an accident. Sian leaned his head back against the headboard and with his legs stretched out in front of him, took another swig of whiskey. The amber liquid burned going down his throat and past his chest.

He wondered if this was what he deserved for the decisions he had made with his life. He was always the one that was in control. He was always the voice of reason. After finding out that the man he spent his entire life looking up to was dead, and that the woman he spent his entire life trying to please was missing, Sian lost control for the first time in his life. He didn't want anyone to see him like this, especially not Lonnie or Ally

He had received several dozen calls and text messages from both of those women, as well as the guys and the police, but he hadn't responded to anyone. Everyone could wait. He left his apartment when his mother called and hid just as she told him to. He turned on the news channel in his hotel room and his world fell apart.

Shit was finally hitting the fan.

Four Years Ago

"You can't keep this from Lonnie!" Ally yelled at Sian. She didn't know the whole story, but what she did know was that Sian knew things that needed to be said in order to clear the air between Jay and Lonnie.

"I've tried, Ally, but Lonnie doesn't want to hear it. Jay broke her heart, so she's trying to move on. If I bring Jay up, she just shuts down," Sian said defensively. He was tired of having to keep his sister's secret.

"What aren't you telling me, Sian? Lonnie refuses to see anyone but you and Jane. Why is that? What happened to her?" Ally knew there was more going on than what he was saying.

"Lonnie asked me not to tell. I can't, I'm sorry, baby, but I just can't." Sian reached for her. Gripping her hips, he rested his forehead against hers. This was taking a toll on them. Secrets were never a good thing in a relationship; especially when it wasn't his secret to share.

"Sian, she needs to know that what she thinks happened with Jay and Riley is wrong. Jay still loves her. He hasn't moved on." Ally softened her voice as she cupped Sian's face.

"I know," Sian whispered. "She just isn't ready to deal with it."

Present

Jay played with her fingers. He laced his fingers with hers, gently squeezed her hand, then slipped his fingers loose and stroked them up her palm and did it again. Lonnie felt her eyes get heavier as she watched. She felt at least a little pressure had been lifted from her heart.

"I like the PJs," Jay smirked as he whispered.

"They're comfortable," Lonnie said as she smiled, "and I don't really need new ones"

"I think I'd like them better off of you, though," Jay said and tugged at the t-shirt.

His phone went off on the nightstand, causing him to groan. Jay unplugged it and read the messages. He glared harshly, then closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and reached for Lonnie again.

"Jay…" Lonnie's voice was soft but still caught his attention. "That was Riley, wasn't it?"

"I'm not with her, Lonnie. I never was and never will be. Ever." Lonnie could hear the suppressed anger in Jay's voice.

"What did she want?" Her voice sounded unsure about even asking, but Jay was in her bed, kissing her and acting like he wanted something more with her again. They have a child together. That alone gave Lonnie the right to ask.

"Just to know where I am. I'm not responding tonight, Lonnie. But when I do, it's not going to be nice." Jay sighed. Just holding Lonnie like this was enough to make his anger fade. He gently tugged Lonnie's arms to pull her closer. "I'm not saying that us not being together for so long was all her fault, but she didn't help either. We lost a lot of time together. I don't want to lose any more."

Lonnie nodded in agreement and grabbed Jay's phone out of his hand. She opened his front camera. "Two can play at this game", she whispered. Lonnie leaned her head against Jay's shoulder as he wrapped his arms tighter around her and planted a kiss on her head. Lonnie's messy hair, lack of make-up, and the fact that she was wearing Jay's old shirt certainly helped. This would be enough for Riley to see that her game was up. Jay watched as she aimed the camera for the selfie, he tightened his hold on her and smiled, his lips still pressed against Lonnie. Snapping the picture, she handed the phone back to Jay.

"Send it. I can play her game, too," Lonnie whispered,

Jay chucked and sent the picture with the caption 'home' under it. Jay knew his phone would be blowing up any second from Riley's responses. He turned the phone off and wrapped himself around Lonnie. He wasn't letting her go again. He would make sure they would do whatever it takes to straighten out everything between them.

"I'm not having sex with you tonight," Lonnie whispered. "It's been 5 years. We can't just-"

Jay put his finger over her lips, before kissing her soundly. A hard, rough kiss that slowly eased as Lonnie tilted her head and parted her lips. "I don't want to have sex," Jay whispered in her ear as he kissed her neck. Lonnie pulled back and cocked an eyebrow. His body language certainly suggested otherwise. Jay smirked at the look on her face. "I want to make love to the woman I love. And I will. I'm gonna drive you crazy, Lonnie. Until you can't take anymore and I have you back."

Jay pulled her into his chest and wrapped himself around her again, his lips trailing over her face, down her neck to right below her ear. He remembered she had a sweet spot there and gently kissed her again. Her legs twined with his as she slid her arms around Jay's waist, and he slid a hand down to her hip and squeezed, his fingers brushing over her backside. His cheek rested against the top of her head.

"We'll figure it all out, and then I'm not losing you again. I'm not pushing tonight. You just lost your dad, we haven't found Mulan, but we will. Tomorrow, we will bring Sian home. You've dealt with a lot alone already, but no more. You're in my bed every night from now on, and we're raising Jaylian together. I want my family back." Jay whispered, determined to not mess up as he did all those years ago.

Lonnie woke up before her alarm, but couldn't move. Lying with her face buried in the pillow, she felt a dead weight lying on top of her. She could feel his warm breath in her ear, his heartbeat was soothing against her back, and Lonnie realized Jay was still sound asleep almost completely on top of her body. She must have rolled over in the night and taken Jay with her. Both of his arms surrounded her, his torso pressed tightly against her back, his legs were twined with hers, and Lonnie knew his dreams must have been good when she realized there was something hard poking into her bum.

Jay's going to need a cold shower before Jaylian sees and asks 'Daddy what's that in your pants?' Lonnie thought and giggled softly as she remembered all the mornings they were almost late for classes or work because of their morning ritual of sex and a shower together. She remembered those mornings and pressed up against him. It felt good to have him with her again, although she really wasn't sure what they were at the moment. Things had been a bit crazy last night for everyone. As much as she loved Jay, she knew she had to protect Jaylian's heart at all costs.

She shifted carefully, not wanting to wake him, but she knew she had to get moving. Jay rolled with her but kept his grip firm against her as she rolled back and rested her head against his shoulder. Jay sighed in his sleep and kissed her temple; his arms not relaxing, but holding her tight. Jay had refused to let her go all night. He didn't want to wake up and find her gone. She snuggled against him for a moment longer but was afraid to get too close and have him leave again. It broke her heart the first time, and Lonnie couldn't put herself and Jaylian through that.

Lonnie needed to get moving. Jaylian had to get ready for preschool, and Lonnie wanted to keep her going despite the issues they were dealing with. Jaylian needed consistency. She finally untangled herself from Jay and went into Jaylian's room.

"Hey baby, it's time to wake up. Let's get moving kiddo" Lonnie knelt down and gently nudged her girl out of bed. She then brought Jaylian over to her dresser to help her pick out clothes. "Get dressed, okay?"

"Mama, is Daddy still here?" Jaylian asked, rubbing her sleepy eyes.

"Yes, but he's asleep."

"Is Daddy here to stay? He won't leave us, will he?" Jaylian looked up at her mom.

"I don't know, baby. Daddy and I haven't talked about it yet. I hope he stays, but I don't know." Lonnie said softly. She needed to be honest with her daughter, but she didn't want to get Jaylian's hopes up.

Jay rolled over and found himself alone. Frowning, he pushed himself up to his elbows and looked around the bedroom. Lonnie's bedroom, he thought and smiled to himself. He held her all night, and it was the best sleep he'd had in years. Crawling out of bed, Jay decided he needed to find her. His body was all ready to go, and they had a morning ritual that they needed to resume.

Once Jaylian was up and moving, Lonnie moved into the kitchen to start breakfast. Coffee was made quickly and Lonnie took a long drink as she started the eggs.

"Lons? Hey babe, I'm here for Jaylian!" A friendly voice called as the perky little blonde bounced into the kitchen, smiling as Lonnie hugged her and handed her a cup of coffee. "And what is that on your face this morning, honey? You're looking awfully… not happy, but dreamy? Wistful? Spill!" Tessa turned to sit down at the table.

Jay heard voices and shrugged. Might as well follow them and get moving. Not thinking about clothes, Jay wandered into the kitchen and smiled softly as he wrapped his arms around Lonnie from behind and nuzzled her neck. Damn, if this just doesn't feel right again, Jay thought and whispered a soft "good morning" as he kissed her neck. Looking up, he saw a familiar face and gave the guest his panty-dropping grin. He could literally see Tessa shift in her seat and swallow hard. Did the room temperature just go up a few degrees?

"Morning." Jay didn't move as Tessa raised her eyebrows at him.

"Now I get that dreamy smile. Good morning, handsome! I'm Tessa, I don't know if you remember me?" Tessa grinned at Lonnie, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Nice to see you again." Jay nodded and turned Lonnie around and kissed her slowly and softly, before tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "I'd better get dressed since we aren't alone." He whispered, nipping at her bottom lip before he started to head back to the bedroom.

"Morning Daddy!" Jaylian ran to him and wrapped her arms around his legs.

"Morning, sweetheart!" Jay knelt down to her level. "I'll be out in a minute to eat with you. Wait for me, okay?" Jay smiled softly and looked at Lonnie again before disappearing around the corner. Jaylian grinned and crawled up to the table to wait.

"Oh my goodness! That was Jay! Your Jay! As in Jaylian's father! God, no wonder you're all dreamy this morning. Details, girly!" Tessa got up and tugged on her friend's arms. "Why didn't you call me or better yet, why didn't you tell me to leave with Jaylian so you two could get it on!"

"Tessa!" Lonnie laughed and gave her friend a playful shove, "he got here yesterday. A lot happened. We aren't there yet."

"I saw the news, sweetie. I'm so sorry about your dad. I'm sure your mom is fine. And you have your hottie back to help you through." Tessa hugged her friend. "God, I've missed seeing that sexy bod around here. I want pictures this time!" Lonnie chuckled and shook her head. "You gotta send me something to drool over so I can live vicariously through you."

Jay walked back into the kitchen fully clothed. With his phone in his hand, he scrolled through the series of rude texts from Riley, and shook his head. When he decides to actually talk to her, she's not going to like what's said. Going over to Lonnie, he took a sip of her coffee for old time's sake and smirked as she handed him a plate of food and half a glass of orange juice.

"For Jaylian. I'll make yours in a minute." Lonnie said softly. Jay nodded as he set the plate and glass in front of his daughter and watched Tessa grin from ear to ear.

"Spit it out, Tessa, I know you're dying to say something." Jay leaned back against the counter and grabbed a piece of bacon as Lonnie handed him his plate and coffee.

I just think both of you should take Jaylian to school today. Jay needs to start parenting sometime." Tessa grinned at Lonnie who turned her head and glared.

"I'm good with that." Jay turned to Lonnie as she mulled it over. "When the boys get here, we can take her."

The boys? As in Tyler and Aziz and Carlos?" Tessa asked. A quick rush of excitement flowed through her.

"Yeah, they're all on their way." Jay saw Lonnie wasn't too thrilled with the idea. "Lonnie, I'm her dad. I need to start doing this."

"I know, it's just. You aren't on the list-" Lonnie started, but Jay interrupted her.

"Then put me on the list. You're gonna have to start trusting me again. She's my kid. I'm gonna be here for her." Jay could see a fight coming. Lonnie set her shoulders back and stiffened up.

"Are you?" Lonnie accused. Tessa's eyes grew wide as she watched them. They hadn't talked about it yet. Are you sure you're gonna be here? Or when things get tough, are you gonna leave again? I don't want her heart broken by you when you decide it's too hard. Because parenting's hard, Jay. Really hard. And I can't take losing you again and breaking both of our hearts. I won't go through that again."