Chapter 6

It was just after nine the next morning when Jason found himself out front of Clay's apartment. He knew that Clay was probably going to be annoyed with him being here, but he really wanted to be able to talk with him. He wanted to try and start working with him on his Alpha senses and strength. He had never been taught before and it would be important for him to learn more about that part of himself. Wolves that grow up without a pack are weaker, especially an Alpha. It was time that Clay started to learn how to tap into that strength. Jason also knew that last night wasn't easy for Clay. He was still at the end of his heat and seeing Ash wouldn't have been an enjoyable experience for him. Especially given how Ash spoke to him. It was clear that Ash had no idea he was truly an Alpha. He was going by how Clay smelt and he smelt like an Omega. Jason couldn't have imagined growing up with a father like Ash had been easy, for however long Clay had him in his life as a child.

Jason still really wanted to know more about Clay and what had happened to him growing up. He had been raised somewhere in Africa and Jason was figuring it wasn't a good place for Clay to be so afraid of sex and letting people in. Growing up as an Omega already wasn't easy, he couldn't have imagined being in Africa without any parents would have been any easier on Clay. It's why Jason didn't blame Clay for being distant and not really interested in anything social. He wasn't used to it and they were going to have to go slower with Clay. They were going to have to take more time for him to get used to it. Jason knocked on Clay's door and waited to see if he would actually answer.

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Clay had been laying in his bed when he heard the knock at his door. He didn't have to get up to know that it was Jason on the other side. He could easily smell him. That was getting to be a serious issue for Clay. He had been around lots of people before, but none of their scents had ever affected him like Jason's had. He had never been able to notice their scent even when they weren't close to him. Clay could smell Jason no matter where in the base that he was. He could smell him when he was outside of the bar, even over all of the other scents. Clay didn't understand why he was reacting this way to Jason. Why Jason was so different, because he should have been. What Clay did know, he wasn't in the mood to deal with people today, especially Jason and his intoxicating scent. He was no longer in heat, but that didn't mean he wasn't still affected by certain scents.

Jason continued to knock and Clay knew that meant he wasn't going to be leaving until he got to talk to him. Clay let out an annoyed sigh and got up and out of bed. He was not in the mood to be dealing with people. He wanted to spend the day in bed and trying to get over what happened last night with Ash. It wasn't the first time Ash had said those things to him, he had said a lot worse over the years since he had turned eighteen and came back to the States. Clay didn't really have any memories from growing up before he was sent to Africa. He remembered his mom a bit, but it was so long ago the memories were fading. When Ash had shown up at the end of his Boot Camp, Clay actually thought maybe he would have a family now. That maybe Ash would want to be his father.

Clay had told himself all sorts of stories about why he didn't have Ash in his life growing up. He told himself that Ash must not know about him. That he must not have known he was in Africa. Then afterwards when he finally did get to see him again when he was eighteen, he told himself that Ash wasn't used to being a father. That it was going to take him some time to get used to it. It became pretty clear though early on that Ash just didn't care about him. He knew that he was in Africa and he didn't care. Clay was just someone he could use. Ash had said he knew he was an Omega, he had tried to get him to sleep with different clients that needed an incentive to hire his company. Clay had been disgusted when Ash tried to order him in his Alpha tone. That was the last time Clay tried to fool himself into believing that he could have a family. That his own father cared about him. Ever since that day, Clay had been avoiding Ash because of his toxic words. Clay had no idea how he found him last night, but he was certain he wanted something from him.

Clay went over and opened the door. He was trying to keep his annoyance to himself, but he just couldn't seem to control it. It was Saturday, he wanted to be left alone. It was getting harder and harder to be around people and Clay was certain that was connected to his heat and the need to have sex increasing every time. But Clay was not going to be giving in to his animalistic needs. He was more than capable of sustaining from sex. He had been doing it since he was fourteen, ten years now, he could keep going.

"What?" Clay snapped.

Jason could tell that Clay was not in the mood for company, but he needed to be here. He had to make sure that Clay was ok after last night. Plus they needed to work on Clay's Alpha side. However, that couldn't happen if Clay was annoyed and guarded. Jason needed to get Clay to relax a bit.

"I need to show you something, please." Jason said calmly. He could have ordered Clay, but that wouldn't go over well.

"Show me what?" Clay asked, annoyed and guarded now.

"Trust me, please? Get dressed and we can head out." Jason said with a warm smile back.

Clay let out an annoyed huff from his nose, but he turned and headed into his bedroom. Jason went and leaned against the doorway, but he was inside enough to be able to see everything. There wasn't much to see. Just an old couch, a coffee table, and a tv made up the right side of the room. To the left of him were books covering the wall. Straight across from him was Clay's bedroom and the hallway. Beside that was the small kitchen. It was a simple apartment for a single man and it was what Jason had expected. Down to nothing being on the walls. There was nothing personal in the whole place. Outside of the hundreds of books, there was nothing here that Jason could say was Clay. The books screamed Clay, because he always had one with him. The pup was always reading during their down time. It was clear he cared about them. There wasn't even any dust on them. Clay cared about the books, he cherished them and they were the only personal items in the whole place.

It was a moment later when Clay came out of his bedroom dressed and ready to go. The look on his face wasn't any better, but Jason wasn't asking for miracles. They headed out and Jason guided Clay over to his truck. Once they were settled they were heading off. Clay just sat back in his seat and kept his eyes out the window. Jason knew he wasn't in the mood to talk and he wasn't about to force anything out of him. He had already forced him to come outside when he didn't want to. Jason really wished he knew what to do about Clay though. About what to do about the wall he was putting up around himself. Jason knew that some rookies took longer to adapt to a new team. It could be hard to leave a team that had become your pack and try to integrate into a new pack. It wasn't easy and often it took a bit of time for the rookie to adapt and acclimate to the new pack. Clay though, he had zero interest in being in a pack. He was going out of his way to put up walls around him. Walls that seemed to be getting stronger the more time he spent with them instead of weaker.

When they finally arrived at the forest, Jason drove in a bit of a way before he parked and turned off his truck. He got out and Clay followed him as he spoke.

"What are we doing out here?"

"Two things. First, you need some training on your Alpha side. You need an Alpha to teach you and we are going to get started today. Second, you are annoyed and have all of this pent up emotions. You need to run, this place is isolated, no one will see you. Go, run, relieve some of your pent up emotions." Jason explained with a warm smile.

Clay let out a huff as he looked around. He had to admit he did want to go for a run. He didn't have much interest in learning anything that Jason was looking to teach him, at least not right now, but maybe a run was what he needed. It also had the added bonus of getting him away from Jason's scent.

"I'm not stripping for you. Turn around." Clay demanded with an edge to his voice.

Jason held his hands up in a false surrender as he turned around. He was really hoping the run would make Clay less bitchy. Jason knew some Omegas that got bitchy when their need for sex got stronger, but normally that bitchiness died down. Clay's had yet to do that. Jason stayed where he was until he heard the sound of paws on the forest floor taking off. He turned just in time to see Clay disappearing into the trees. Jason had no idea how long Clay would be gone for, but he was hoping when he came back he would be in a better mood.

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Clay had no idea how long he had been running through the forest. He always loved to run in wolf form, it had a way of bringing peace to him. He was still annoyed, but it was better. He knew he was only annoyed though because he could still smell Jason. No matter how far away he went, he could easily track him. Clay hated that he couldn't seem to get rid of Jason no matter how far or how hard he tried. He didn't understand why his body was reacting this way to him and that was only making him more annoyed and bitchy. He knew he was being bitchy, but he couldn't seem to help it. It seemed to be the only way he could deal with how Jason was making him feel.

It was happening more and more. His need to be by Jason. Him wanting to hear his voice, wanting to be next to him. It was pissing Clay off. He had been around plenty of Alphas before and none of them ever bothered him, which made sense with him also being an Alpha. And yet with Jason, Clay wanted to be around him. He wanted that alone time with him. He wanted to know what he felt like. Even after getting home last night, Clay couldn't help but touch himself and use one of his toys, but this time the face he saw was Jason's. It was Jason fucking him and not some random stranger that Clay made up in his mind. His body wanted Jason's and it made no sense to Clay. He didn't even like him in that sense and yet his body was craving the man. Clay wasn't going to allow it. He had control over his own body and mind. He had control over his own wolf and if his wolf didn't like it, then too bad. He wasn't going to ever have Jason. His wolf wasn't going to ever have anyone. He refused to submit to an Alpha and he refused to give in and have sex. Clay was his own Alpha, it was just that simple to him.

Arriving back where Jason was, Clay felt any of the peace that the run had given to him fading away. Something that only added to his annoyance. Jason turned around and Clay quickly shifted back into human form before getting dressed. Once he was dressed Jason turned around and spoke.

"As an Apex you already have a lot of the normal Alpha traits when it comes to power. You are stronger, faster, and your sense of smell is heightened. You have all of that already and it is stronger than a typical Alpha's. That's not what you need to learn. There are other traits that an Alpha has that are important for the pack. We can sense if someone is lying and we can sense emotions. According to Trent, with you having stronger senses with being an Apex there is a chance that you will not only be able to sense emotions and read what another person is feeling, but you'll be able to see it as well. Each emotion will be a different color. Today, I want to work with you on identifying emotions."

"Why?"

"Why what?" Jason asked, confused.

"Why do I need to know this?" Clay asked, clearly not happy about this.

"It's important for when you are in a pack to know what the others are feeling. To feel that connection with your packmates. It makes you stronger and with you set to take over Bravo one day, you need to connect to your pack and each new member that comes into it."

"What is with you people and going on and on about a pack? Not everyone needs a pack. Not everyone wants a pack. Not everyone wants to feel connected to someone. What is with you all in trying to get me to connect to each of you? I'm not your pet. I don't need to feel what you all are feeling. I don't need to be connected to anyone."

Jason wasn't expecting for this to be difficult. He would have figured that Clay would have wanted to learn more about his Alpha abilities. He didn't think about the possibility of Clay not wanting to.

"I don't get why you don't want to be connected to a pack, Clay. Having a pack means having a family. Having people there for you so you aren't alone. Don't you want that?" Jason asked, doing his best to keep the sadness out of his voice.

"Maybe a pack means family to you. But people, all they do is hurt you. I don't trust anyone, I don't let anyone get close enough to hurt me. People are cruel and I have no interest in bringing that into my life." Clay said with a hard edge to his tone.

Clay had seen firsthand growing up what cruelty there was in the world and he was never going to trust someone, ever. He was never going to let anyone get close to him like that. He didn't need a pack, he didn't need anyone.

"People can let you down, they can be cruel and hurt you. Family, they can disappoint you, frustrating you, upset you and hurt you. But they can also bring you so much love, happiness, security, they can take away the loneliness. Don't you ever get tired of having to be strong all the time? Never allowing yourself to feel sadness, to feel tired?"

"Why, because part of me is Omega, so I should just curl up into a ball and let the big strong Alphas take care of me?" Clay snapped.

"No, Clay, it has nothing to do with your Omega traits. We don't see you like that. To the team you are just Clay, you're our brother. We don't see your Omega traits. We see you as one of us, our packmate. I'm not saying you should be weak, I'm saying that everyone needs someone. There are plenty of times in my life where I couldn't carry the weight anymore. Where I needed someone else to help me. When I needed someone else to be the strong one so I could just feel whatever I needed to feel. You deserve to have the support."

Jason couldn't understand why Clay didn't want to be a member of a pack. He would have figured if life growing up was hard that he would want the comfort that a pack brought. He didn't even know what comfort was, he should want to embrace being in a pack and yet it was the last thing he wanted.

"I don't need someone in my life to do anything for me. I can take care of myself. Been doing it since I was five. I like being alone and that's exactly how I am going to stay."

Before Jason could try and counter both of their phones were going off. They both knew what that meant, they were being spun up. Jason pulled his phone out and answered.

"Hey, you got me and Clay."

"Oh, good. We have an Op. I need you both in here." Blackburn said, and Clay's phone stopped ringing.

"On our way." Jason said, before ending the call.

Clay was already heading towards Jason's truck. Jason let out a long sigh before he started to follow. This conversation was far from over and Jason just hoped that when they could continue it, that Clay would be more open minded. For now, they had an operation to go on and they both needed to get their head in the game.