Just Gone

by Where'sMyPenn

No one knows anything about the little girl. She was found on the side of the highway after the bombing of Atlanta, abandoned by her father. she wont reveal her name or age. They have a lot of questions for her, but one stands above all others. Of all the people in camp reaching out to this orphan, why does she seek refuge with the rednecks? (full description inside)

9. Out of Line

Go away, go away. Please, go away. I silently begged.

"I know you're in there, c'mon now."

I was in Merle and Daryl's tent, sitting on a sleeping bag. I hugged my knees close to my chest, watching the silhouette of Shane from where he stood, outside the tent. It hadn't been long since the group left for Atlanta, as soon as they did leave, I took it upon myself to hide in the tent.

I didn't respond to Shane, I knew I was in trouble for taking his gun, and aiming it at him. I didn't even want to know what my punishment would be.

With both Merle and Daryl gone, I felt more out of place than ever, although I wasn't sure why. Why did it bug me so much that they weren't here? I felt vulnerable.

Maybe tha's 'cause ya aimed a gun at a cop and you're gonna get beat. I reminded myself.

Yeah, tha's it.

"I'm not . . ." Shane sighed, to my surprise he sounded rather calm, maybe a little annoyed, "I'm not mad."

I stared at his shadow, confused. Why wouldn't he be mad? Again, I didn't say anything, hoping he would think that I wasn't there.

"Just come out, let's talk about this." He was silent, waiting for my response. "Come on, girl, we can do this all day."

I hesitated, "I'm not here."

I heard him chuckle, "really? I must've banged my head on somethin' real hard then, because I swear I heard something."

I suppressed a smile, thinking it was funny for a moment.

"I'm not going to yell. Just . . . we need to talk about what happened. You gonna come out? Or do I have to come in?"

I bit my lip, knowing he would very well come in. Looking around the tent, and thinking about who's it was, I knew it wasn't a good idea. Merle and Daryl wouldn't have been too happy to hear about Shane going in their tent.

I sighed, might as well get it over with. Gonna happen either way.

I got up from where I was sitting and went to unzip the tent. I crawled out, zipped the tent back up behind me, and stood up straight.

Shane stood a few feet away, his hands on his hips with an expectant expression.

"There, now we can talk about this." He said.

I gave a slight nod and slowly walked toward him, stopping a foot away. I kept my eyes down at my shoes, afraid to make eye contact.

"There are some things you need to know. One of them is that what happened, what you did, cannot happen again. Are you listening?"

"Yeah . . ."

"Do you understand what you did was wrong?"

"Yeah . . ."

"Then tell me, tell me what you did wrong."

I lifted my head, squinting my eyes to show my confusion.

He sighed, "I need to hear it, this conversation cannot be one sided, not this time. I need to know that you understand what I'm talking about."

I took my eyes off his, his gaze becoming intimidating. Looking around, I could see Dale a short distance away behind Shane. He was watching us closely, no doubt wondering how this would go.

But I knew how this would go, I'd been in trouble countless times. Although, I had never pulled a gun on Daddy, I didn't even want to think about my punishment. But I had to get it over with.

"I told ya ta fuck off . . . and I took your gun . . ."

"Not only did you take it," Shane said, his voice raising with each word, "you pointed it, knowing very well where the safety was and no doubt what it meant to turn it off! I can see you may have had experience with a gun, so you know how dangerous one can be. They are not toys! As long as you're here, you are my responsibility, whatever you do, I am responsible for."

I held my arms close to my sides, lightly squeezing myself, trying to keep myself calm. I was cringing now, trying my best to stay in place and not back away. Trying to get away always made Daddy more mad.

"Now tell me right now, what in God's name possessed you to do that? Hmm? You threatened me, threatened the group. It doesn't matter who it was, you do not, do that!"

I flinched, trying to keep still and keep my voice steady, "but . . . you had Daryl, I . . ."

"It was not your place to interfere, I know you were angry, I understand. The situation got out of hand, but that was beyond out of line. When things like that happen, the adult's handle that. What would have happened if you accidentally pulled the trigger?!"

"I wouldn't . . . not accidentally. I know how the trigger works." I said quietly, looking up. Shane's eyes are wide, his jaw tense. He takes a step forward, and I immediately begin to panic, I jumped back raising my arms, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

I kept my eyes closed tight, shaking and trying not to cry. I waited for the impact, but nothing happened. Shane had stopped yelling, he wasn't saying or doing anything. After waiting a few more seconds, I slowly began to open my eyes, but kept them on the ground, seeing the tips of his boots. I looked up at him to find him staring at me, his face much more relaxed, his eyes were still wide but the expression was much different.

My arms were still raised but I lowered them slightly as tears burned my eyes.

"Do you think I'm going to hurt you?"

My lip quivered, "I-I was bad."

He's silent for another moment, then he gave a slow nod, "yeah, you were. That doesn't mean I'm going to hurt you. I just need you to understand what you did was wrong, so it won't happen again."

I gave a small nod, understanding what went wrong. But I didn't understand the rest, he was going to let this go too? How many times now had I gone against his word without punishment? This was the most time Shane had spent scolding me. I didn't understand why he was acting like that when all he planned to do, was scold.

Shane sighed, and reached for my arms, I began to take a step back but he gently took hold of each of my wrists. As he lowered himself, he lowered my arms to my sides. I stared at him, my fear withering but confusion growing. What the hell is he doing?

His expression seemed almost gentle, his eyes holding a soft expression. He took the hands that he used to hold each of my wrists and lowered them into my own hands, holding each of them tightly.

I stared down at our hands as a weird feeling made my chest tighten.

"Listen-"

I looked up at him, "-Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?"

"Touch me," I said, "it's weird."

He hesitated, glancing down at our hands, it was obviously his turn to be confused, "weird? What do you mean? I don't treat you any different than Carl, neither does Lori. It's just the way adults act toward kids, to help them feel better."

"Daddy don't touch me like that." I said and shook my head, confirming his statement made no sense to me.

He tilted his head, looking me in the eyes, "he didn't? What do you mean?"

"He just doesn't . . . He uses the belt sometimes, when I'm real bad."

He stared me down silently, then looked away. He released both my hands and ran his own hand through his hair.

After thinking about it, he said; "that won't happen. As long as you're with me, you don't have to worry about things like that happening."

Shane stood up, rubbing his head, "was thinking of taking Carl down to the quarry, catch some frogs. You want to come?"

I hesitated, not at all understanding what just happened. My fear was gone but that didn't mean I felt any better. My confusion just made me feel more weary and suspicious of Shane, I didn't want to spend more time with him then I had too. Carl got a little too excited too easily, I wasn't really in the mood for that.

I glanced behind Shane, seeing Dale was still there. I wasn't sure if he could hear us from his distance, I doubted it.

"Can . . . Can I go with mister Dale?"

He gave a nod, "if that's what you want. But I want to make sure I made myself clear, we can't have that happen again. You scared people, someone could've gotten hurt. What you did, it wasn't right."

He watched me closely, waiting for a response. Instead of saying anything, I gave a single nod. He returned it, "if you want to come down to the quarry later, feel free. I'll check on you later."

Shane turned away, he walked toward Dale, stopping to talk to him.

"Ain't right to handcuff someone to a roof neither . . ." I muttered to the ground.

Dale and Shane both glanced at me, and I know they're talking about me. Dale gave a nod and waved me over. I complied as Shane strode away from Dale.

"I hear you wanted to join me?" Dale asked with a smile. The smile surprised me, since I aimed the gun at Shane and Rick everyone was looking at me weird.

"Uh, yeah."

"Good, I enjoy the company."

---

I was lying on the roof of the RV, it felt hot against my back, but lying there for a while, I got accustomed to the feeling. The book I usually flipped through was resting on my chest, I was growing more annoyed with it, honestly.

It seemed much more entertaining to look at the sky for some reason, even though the brightness of the day burned my eyes. It was a clear blue sky, not one cloud in sight, confusing me more as to why I just felt like staring at nothing. I tilted my head up to glance at Dale who was standing up near the edge of the RV, facing away from camp, looking through his binoculars.

Looking through his binoculars wasn't anything knew, but he had been looking in that direction for a while.

"See somethin'?" I asked.

He hesitated, "it's Jim."

I moved the book from my chest and rolled over onto my stomach, looking in the direction he was facing. I couldn't see Jim, but I recognised the hill not too far away.

"Yeah, saw 'im go tha' way earlier with a shovel." I said.

"How long ago was that?"

"I dunno, lil' after Daryl left, 'fore I went inta' 'is tent."

Dale lowered his binoculars, and turned to look down at me, "he say anything?"

"Naw, not ta' me. Not like 'e would."

He lifted the binoculars again and turned away from me, "wonder what he's doing . . ."

"'e had a shovel so . . . maybe he's diggin' for worms? Daddy always makes me dig for worms if we're goin' fishin'. Amy an' Andrea are fishin' now right? Maybe they need worms."

Dale shook his head, "if he's been up there as long as you say . . . it's been a couple hours. It's a hundred degrees out . . . I hope he has some water with him."

I slowly sat up, seeing two water bottles beside Dale's chair. I got mine shortly after joining Dale, it was only half full now. Thinking about it, I realized I wanted to stretch my legs. I grabbed my half-full water bottle and swung my legs over the side of the RV.

"I'll give 'im some," I said.

Dale glanced at me but before he could say anything. I quickly checked for Lori or Shane before jumping down.

I walked in the direction of the hill, and when I reached the area where the ground began to rise, I searched for some sort of trail, not wanted to walk through grass as tall as me.

I found a makeshift trail, where the grass was slightly flattened to the ground, showing people had walked up and down this hill several times.

The climb up was much hard than expected, the hill was actually kind of steep. I honestly believed I was better at climbing trees than that damn hill. Nearing the top, I glanced back the way I came, seeing how far I came.

"Shit," I muttered, out of breath.

At the top of the hill, where the earth flattened out, I could hear the sound of the shovel scraping against dirt. I walk until I see Jim's figure, his back to me.

"Mister Jim?" I walked forward, when he doesn't answer I try again, stopping a few feet away, "mister Jim?"

I was louder the second time, but I was sure he heard me. I walked around him to stand in front of him and the shovel.

"Mister Dale said ya needed water." I said, holding the bottle out to him.

Again, Jim doesn't respond, he doesn't even seem to have heard me. I waited for a minute, standing in front of the hole he was digging, looking around, I noticed it wasn't his first but his third. The other two were rectangular and looking pretty deep.

I stepped closer and placed the bottle near the edge of the hole he was currently digging, so it was insight. Jim paused for a brief moment, his eyes going to the bottle, then up at me.

After a split second of eye contact, he lifts the shovel and shoves it into the ground several times, loosening the dirt.

Okay, he just don't wanna talk then, I realized. It felt kind of weird, I wanted to press for him to talk more, but I knew what it felt like to not want to talk. That's what made it so weird, my time here was mostly spent with people talking to me, and trying to get me to talk more. I had never been on their side of it, and it bugged me.

I took a couple steps back and sat cross-legged on the ground, watching him dig.

---

A short while later, I watched behind Jim as Dale made his way through the bushes and long grass, his rifle slung over his shoulder. He slowly walked forward, a skeptical look on his face as he switched his gaze from me to Jim. When he looked at me, I gave a shrug.

"Jim? You okay?" He asked, "you keep this up, you're gonna keel over out here."

He waited for Jim respond, and as I expected, he didn't. Dale raised his own water bottle toward Jim, "drink some water at least."

I waited a moment before saying anything, "'e don' wanna talk. Don' want no water neither."

Jim paused again, looking at Dale, then continued digging. Dale watched then motioned with his hand for me to get up.

I obeyed and walked toward him, leaving my bottle with Jim. Dale looked unsure as we hesitantly turned away from Jim and began walking back.

After walking down the hill and approaching camp, I'm surprised and a little frightened when Carl is barreling toward me.

"Hey!" He said with a big smile, grabbing my hand, "come on! Come see the fish!"

Carl started pulling me but I immediately ripped my hand from his grasp and backed away, feeling flustered.

What is it with these people and touching me?

He stared at me, "sorry, I didn't mean to pull so hard. But come see, Amy and Andrea caught a lot of fish, they said they're going to teach me how to fish!"

Why is he always so excited? Has he not seen fish before?

I glanced at Dale but he's looking back to where we left Jim, he turned his head to me, a certain uneasiness settling in his features.I nodded at Carl and walked beside him, I could tell by the way he was walking he was making himself slow down for me.

"See?" He said, pointing at toward the group. Most of them were gathered together, Morales holding a chain of about a dozen fish in each hand. He looked just as happy as Carl did.

Carl rushed up to him and poked one of the fish, I was really impressed. Daddy took me fishing every once in awhile but we never kept what we caught, we always threw them back, so I hadn't seen that many at once.

"Hey, Dale, when's the last time you oiled those line reels? They are a disgrace," Andrea said with a smile.

"I, uh . . . I don't want to alarm anyone . . ." Dale said from behind me, "but we may have a bit of a problem."

I turned, knowing he was talking about Jim but I wasn't sure why. He gestured to where Jim was and the others followed the gesture, confused.

Shane walked over, holding his hat in his hands. The first thing I noticed was his bruised knuckles, slightly bleeding. I knew immediately what that meant. Someone got beat.

---

I was starting to feel more and more annoyed with each passing minute. Anything these people said or did, made me confused. I understand it, I do, I'm a kid, no one tells kids anything. But today, it was really starting to get to me.

First, there was the confusion when I learned why Merle hadn't really come back, then there was the confusion Shane oh-so-beautifully bestowed upon me when he gave me his scolding. I had done more than enough, disobeyed enough, hell, how much disrespect had I shown this man?

Obviously not enough, I thought. I was glad I hadn't really gotten in trouble, I just didn't understand why he was sparing me the beating, I deserved it didn't I? Was it because he wasn't my Daddy? Was he waiting for Daddy to get back so he can deal with me himself?

Then there was Shane's bruised knuckles, I remember him telling me I didn't have to worry about being beaten. But seeing his knuckles told me otherwise, if someone got beat, why didn't I?

The most reason cause of confusion, was half the group standing on the hill, watching as Shane attempted to coax the shovel out of Jim's hands.

What's the problem? Guy wants to dig, let him dig.

"Jim," Lori said, stepping forward, "they're not gonna say it so I will. You're scaring people. You're scaring the kids."

I glanced at Carl, then at Sophia. How was he scaring us? She think we're scared of dirt?

Jim shook his head, "they got nothing to be scared of. I mean, what the hell, people? I'm out here by myself. Why don't you all just go and leave me the hell alone?"

I glanced around at everyone, attempting to read their expressions, wondering if they were going to do as he requested.

Guess not.

Shane took his hat off and ran a hand through his hair, "we think that you need to take a break, okay? Why don't you go and get yourself in the shade? Some food maybe. I'll tell you what . . . maybe in a little bit I'll come out here and help you myself. Jim, just tell me what it's about. Why don't you just go ahead and give me that shovel?"

"Or what?" Jim said angrily.

"There is no or what," Shane shook his head calmly, "I'm asking you. I'm coming to you and I'm asking you, please. I don't want to have to take it from you."

I decided to tune them out, I was annoyed and, as always, confused. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? Maybe he just wanted to keep himself busy. I couldn't count the times I found myself bored, being at this camp for so long.

Thinking about it, I realized how I hadn't really seen Jim around camp a lot. He usually kept to himself. When he didn't, he was helping Dale fix the RV, sometimes he just sat in silence. I hadn't paid much attention to him.

Looking at my feet, I realized how tired I felt. I decide to just go and stay in Merle's tent, he said I could sleep in there if I wanted to. I hoped they'd leave me alone. I was about to turn and leave when I heard the struggle, I watched as Shane tackled Jim to the ground.

I felt angry, I wasn't sure what to do, but I knew better than to do anything this time. There wasn't anything I could do anyways.

"It's okay, Jim, nobody's going to hurt you, you hear me?" Shane told Jim, holding him down, pressing his face into the ground.

His face scrunched up, voice cracking as he spoke, "That's the biggest lie there is. I told that to my wife an-and my two boys. I said it a hundred times . . . It didn't matter. They came out of nowhere, there were dozens of 'em. Just pulled 'em right out of my hands . . . You know, the only reason I got away was 'cause the dead were too busy eating my family."

I backed away and turned around, not wanting to hear anymore. I pushed passed the the people around me and went back to camp.

---

The group walked back to camp shortly after I did. I watched as Shane led Jim to a tree, and tied him to it. I kept my distance away from all of them. Lori and Carol brought a small wooden table out. They gave their children each some paper and sat with them at the table.

Lori was reading something while Carol was silently watching Sophia. Shane was crouched in front of Jim, and Dale was standing over the two of them.

I heard hushed voices behind me so I turned to them, Andrea and Jacqui were close to the RV, talking quietly.

"I'm not saying he didn't deserve what he got," Jacqui said, holding a hand up, "but did you see the look on Shane's face? I was afraid he wasn't going to stop."

"I don't agree with how far he took it, but we can't really say much. Ed's been a problem for a while now, he did something about it." Andrea replied.

Ed? That's Sophia's daddy, isn't he?

Jacqui scoffed, "you think that'll stop Ed?"

Andrea shook her head, "maybe not, but he'll be off his feet for a couple days. I can't imagine him trying anything with anyone else around again."

"We'll see."

So Ed is the one who got beat.

"Sweetie?" I heard Lori speak. She called out a few more times. I turned my head to her, seeing she was look at me, trying to grab my attention.

"Why don't you come over here?"

I stared at her with my arms crossed, "why?"

"Come on." She coaxed.

I pressed my lips together, groaning in annoyance. I walked toward as she pulled an upside down, blue plastic crate beside Carl.

"Sit here," she patted it.

"Why?" I asked again.

She gave me a firm stare and I did what she said.

"Hey," Carl smiled, then turned back to his paper, scribbling something down with a pencil.

"Hi," Sophia said, sitting across from me.

"Uh, hi." I said awkwardly.

A sheet of paper was placed in front me along with a pencil. The paper had a couple paragraphs of words on it, all spaced out across the paper. There were lines that were blank. I stared at it, then at Carl's, then Sophia's. The papers all looked similar, except Carl's and Sophia's had their writing in the blank spots.

I looked up at Lori, "the hell is this?"

"Homework," Carl grumbled.

Homework? Why is she giving me homework?

Lori's eyes were wide, angry, "don't curse."

"Hell?" I repeated, confused. "Hell ain't no curse word. Fuck's a curse word."

I heard a small laugh escape Carl and I turned to him. His lips were pressed tightly together in a smile, his eyes caught his mother's glare and his smile disappeared.

"Don't give me that attitude, and you don't talk that way," Lori scolded. "I don't want to have to tell you again. Now just do the work."

"But I can't."

"Yes you can, don't you want to be caught up when you go back to school?"

"Daddy says school's a waste a' time."

Lori is silent for a moment, her face tense, "just give it a try."

I looked down at the paper. I looked at Carl's as he scribbled the pencil onto the paper. I picked up the pencil, struggling to hold it the same way he was.

"What am I s'posed ta do?" I asked her.

She pointed to the paragraph at the top of the page, "says so right here, hun."

I stared down at the paper. Frustration filled me, a sick feeling burning in my stomach.

"Sorry if I scared your boy, and the girls," Jim said loudly for us to hear.

We all looked at him, and Lori shook her head, "You had sunstroke. Nobody's blaming you."

"You're not scared now, are you?"

"No, sir." Sophia said while Carl shook his head.

"What about you?" Jim rose his eyebrows at me, "are you scared?"

"Ya ain't scary." I said.

"Glad to hear it, the sun just cooked my head is all."

"Jim, do you know why you were digging? . . . Can you say?" Dale asked.

"I had a reason, don't remember. Somethin' I dreamt last night." Jim looked at Carl, "your dad was in it, you were too, you were worried about him. Can't remember the rest . . . You worried about your dad?"

At the mention of Car's dad, my chest tightened, the sick feeling in my stomach grew. I looked back at my paper, staring down at it as I listened to them speak.

"They're not back yet," Carl said quietly.

"We don't need to talk about that," I heard Lori say quickly.

"Your dad's a police officer, son. He helps people, probably just came across some folks needing help, that's all." Jim went on, "That man, he is tough as nails. I don't know him well but I could see it in him . . . Am I right?"

Shane nodded, "oh yeah."

"There ain't nothing gonna stop him from getting back here to you and your mom, I promise you that."

Tears burned my eyes, I clenched my teeth, feeling angry. I was suddenly aware of how close everyone was to me, their presence becoming overwhelming. Looking at the paper Lori had given me, was not making me feel better, only worse.

I angrily slammed my hand flat onto the table, sliding the paper away from me roughly making it fly into the air.

"This is fucking stupid," I said angrily and stood up abruptly, knocking the crate down in the process.

I could feel everyone staring at me as I stormed passed Jim, Shane, and Dale, toward Merle's tent.

When I approached the Dixon's brothers camp, I stopped myself. I didn't want to sit and hide, I felt to angry and restless. Why aren't they back yet?

Why isn't Daddy back?

Why did Carl's dead dad come back but mine hasn't?

"Stop it," I scolded myself, wiping the tears away with my palms, "ya ain't no baby. Only babies cry. Just stop."

I couldn't be there, not in Merle's tent, not in camp, I didn't even want to look at anybody. I wanted to scream and I didn't know why, I didn't understand why I couldn't just calm down. I was angry that Daddy's absence forced me to stay.

I turned away from the Dixon camp and went toward Shane's tent. I went behind it to where I hid my stuff, and unburied it. I took one of my knives out, and began reburying everything.

"Hey, wanna tell me what that was about?"

I froze, then slowly turned. Shane stood a few feet away, his cap on his head and hands on his hips.

I stood up and turned my body all the way around, standing in front of my hiding place. I held the one knife I had taken out behind my leg.

"What's wrong?" Shane's eyes trailed downward to the hand I held behind me, "what you got there?"

"Nothin'."

He raised his eyebrows, "gonna tell me what you're doing over here?"

" . . . No."

He stepped forward, reaching a hand out, "come on now, show me what you're hiding."

I stared at him, and he stared back.

"You aren't in trouble. It's okay, hand it over," he said with a firm voice.

I knew he wasn't going to let it go, I pulled my knife from behind me and put it in his hand. I watched as he inspected it, shocked and confused.

"Where'd you get this?"

"I's mine."

"Did you take this from someone?"

"No."

"Did Dixon give it to you?"

"No, i's mine," I repeated, annoyance lacing my tone.

He was quiet, turning the knife over in his hand, "are you hiding anything else?"

Panic filled me and I didn't respond. Shane stared at me and again, I knew I didn't have a choice.

I turned around, grabbing a part of the knife sheath that wasn't completely buried and pulled it from the dirt. Luckily, everything else was covered but I wasn't worried about anything but the knives.

Shane stared at the object skeptically as he took it from me.

"This is yours?"

I nodded.

"You've been hiding these since we got here?"

Again, I nodded.

"Why did you hide them?"

"Daddy says lil' girls ain't s'posed ta 'ave weapons, but 'e won't raise no pussy. Tha's why 'e teaches me guns n' stuff."

His gaze shifted from me to my knives several times, his features showing disbelief and confusion. His eyes finally rested on mine, his jaw tense, deep in thought. Shane bit his lip and looked around, then back at me.

"Do you use these? Do you throw them?"

I gave him a shrug, looking at my feet, "Daddy showed me a lil'."

He sighed, "your dad . . . He-you . . ." He trailed off, at a loss of what to say. "Do you know how to use them?"

"I can throw 'em good," I said quietly, "Merle's been teachin' me ta sink 'em."

I'm internally panicking as he began to shake his head, staring at the knives in his hand once more, "I-I don' throw 'em in camp, I'm real careful, I don' aim at no one. I-"

"-But you know how to use them properly?" He asked, his tone careful.

I nod and began to lower my head again, but he suddenly held both his hands out to me. I eyed him as he held a knife in one hand, and the rest in the other.

Slowly, I take them both from him, "ya ain't gonna take 'em 'way?"

He shook his head with a sigh, "no, you seem to know how to be responsible with them. I don't think you'll hurt anybody and it doesn't look like you'll hurt yourself . . . Is that what you're doing when I can't find you? Practicing with those?"

I shrugged, "sometimes."

"Is that what you were going to do now?"

I shrugged and looked away. I suddenly remembered both Daryl and Merle telling me not to leave. Neither of them were here, so it didn't seem to matter. But it made the idea to leave much less appealing.

"I'll tell you what," he said, taking his hat from his head, "it's getting late now, and I have some stuff to do, but tomorrow I'll take you out. You can show me just how good you can throw them."

I stared up at him with a blank expression, I wasn't expecting any of that. The panic and frustration seemed to suddenly disappear.

"But for now, why not stick those in the tent. We're gonna go clean those fish Andrea and Amy caught, you can help if you want."

"What ya gotta clean fish for?"

"Well, we have to eat them don't we?" He chuckled, "come on."

I thought about it before following him and then going into the tent. I placed the sheath with my five knives in my cot. I stared at the one in my hand that had be unsheathed. It felt weird to leave in there after hiding them for so long. I thought about bringing it with me but I doubted Shane wanted me carrying a knife around. I considered hiding it but my knives wouldn't stay in my waistband without falling out anymore, and the sleeves of the pink shirt Merle gave me were too big.

I looked down, seeing the black long-sleeved shirt I was wearing before. It was carefully folded beside my cot and I knew the ladies must have washed it last time they did laundry. I took the pink shirt off, and put the black one on. It felt weird, the sleeves of this shirt were always a bit tight and I was now accustomed to the loose fitting one.

I slipped my knife into my left sleeve. I wasn't planning on going anywhere, or really using it. But I did feel more comfortable carrying one around, especially now since I had to leave the rest of them somewhere I wasn't used to.

I stepped out of the tent to find Shane waiting for me. He glanced at my change in shirt and nodded at me. He began walking and I followed him. Walking through camp, I caught sight of Carol sitting outside of her tent in front of her husband.

I glanced over at the table where she, Lori and the kids had been before. Sophia wasn't in sight but Carl was with Morales and his kids. Looking back at where Carol was sitting with Ed, she was dabbing a cloth over the one side of his face. As we walked by, I was able to get a better view. At the sight, my stomach did a flip and I bit my lip.

The left side of his face was bloodied and badly bruised, the bruises were turning a dark purple and the whites of his left eye were red.

My eyes went to Shane's hand, after thinking about it, I glanced up at him. "Was Ed bad?"

Shane looked down at me, then over at Ed, "Ed was way out of the line and I lost my cool there . . . I'm not proud of it . . ."

"You said I was outta line. Am I-"

"-That's different." He snapped, "he's a grown ass man he should know better."

I looked away, I still didn't fully understand how Shane's mind was working.

---

Apparently, cleaning the fish hadn't actually meant cleaning the fish. Cleaning, for some odd reason, meant skinning them. Carl sat beside me, beside him were Morales' kids. He was talking to them in a foreign language I didn't understand, but the way he was gesturing with the fish, I guessed he was showing them how to do it. But it didn't look like he was planning on giving them a knife anytime soon.

Jim was helping too, Shane had checked on him and decided he wasn't a danger to himself or others. Again, I didn't understand what went wrong with Jim. Jim was quiet the entire time, focusing on his fish. I watched as Shane sliced the fins off the silver coloured fish.

When he gutted it, Carl leaned back, "that's so gross."

I glanced at his disgusted face but didn't say anything. It was obvious he wasn't used to this kind of thing, I wondered why his Daddy never showed him stuff like this. I had never seen a fish get cleaned and gutted either, but I'd seen plenty of other animals meet that fate.

I realized for the first time that I would actually be eating fish that night, I never had before. When Daddy took me fishing, which was a rare occurrence and only to pass the time, we always threw the fish back.

I asked him before if we could ever have fish for dinner one day, he said fish made him sick. So, I let it go.

"You didn't come to catch frogs," Carl said, turning to me.

I shrugged.

"We didn't find any anyways, it sucked. Mom said it's okay for me to go fishing with Andrea and Amy, you should come to. I'm going to try and catch a really big one."

Shane looked up from his task, "you two have been getting along, huh?"

"She doesn't like to talk," Carl said.

"I saw you two talking yesterday," Shane said, smiling a little, "she's just getting used to us, that's all."

Carl looked at me, "You don't have to be sad, you know."

I stared at him, struggling to keep my expression blank. I remembered him saying something similar the day before. Whether I chose to show it or not, I knew he was right, I was sad. I wanted to be home, not here. Being so confused all the time made me feel stupid.

"I'm sure your dad will come back, mine did."

"Carl," Shane said, his voice low.

"What?" he glanced at Shane and back at me, "You don't know if he's dead. We thought mine was, and he came back."

The corner of my mouth lifted in a small smile. He was right. I had been waiting for weeks, I shouldn't have much longer to wait. He'd be back soon, and we could go home. Thinking about it, as much as I wanted to leave, I felt like I almost dreaded his return. I wanted him to come back so I could leave, so I didn't have to be around so many people I wasn't used to.

But at the same time, I almost hoped he wouldn't come back.

What's wrong with me?

Carl stared, his smile wavering. He was trying to make me feel better, but obviously wasn't sure if it was working. He waited, looking somewhat patient. I thought about what to say. He was trying to make me happy, I thought maybe I should return the favour.

"Can I see your comic books again?"

Carl's eyes and smile widened simultaneously, "yeah! Come on. Bye, Shane!"

Carl stood up, jogging in the direction of his tent. I followed him, thinking that, for once, it was a good thing he was so easily excited.

---

In the next hour or so, I learned something else about Carl. The more excited he was about something, the faster he talked, as if he couldn't wait to get the words out.

We were sitting right outside of his tent on the ground, his pile of comic books between us. It was starting to get dark and I knew that very soon, we wouldn't be able to see the pictures well.

Some of the books were about the same characters, but different stories. He explained each character of the comics, each time picking up one of the books and flipping through the pages to show me his favourite parts.

It was easy to tell his most favourite characters and most favourite parts by how fast he talked, he would get so excited some of his words would meld together. I didn't mind though, it seemed he didn't have a lot of people to share this with and I guessed that was why he got so excited.

I didn't understand a lot of what he said about the comic book characters, but I didn't stop him or ask questions. He was happy and it felt contagious.

Apparently, the shirt he usually wore with the pawprint, was a reference to one of his comic books; Science Dog.

To be honest, I thought it sounded really stupid. But again, I kept my mouth shut.

I wasn't fully listening to Carl, I was flipping through one of the comic books, slightly squinting my eyes against the darkness. After a few minutes, I realized how quiet it was and looked at Carl, to see he had stopped talking.

"What?" I asked when I found him staring again.

"You weren't really going to shoot him, right?"

I had forgotten he might've seen that. I wasn't sure why I thought he hadn't, everyone saw it.

"Nah," I said, looking back at the comic book in my hands, "woulda missed anyway, my aim ain't worth shit."

I watched his expression from the corner of my eye, hoping he would buy it. I was standing a foot away from him, no way would I miss that shot.

"Hey, you two."

We both looked up at Shane.

"Fish is ready, everyone's set up by the fire, come and get some."

I immediately stood up, placing the comic book in my hands aside. I was enjoying Carl's company, but not the direction that conversation was going, I was relieved to end it. Before I could walk away Carl stopped me.

"Wait for me," he said.

I watched as he picked the comic books up and retreated into his tent. I waited until he came out and closed the tent and we walked toward the group together.

"Wanna sit with me?"

I shrugged, then followed him when he sat beside his mom. Jim and Morales were handing out paper plates with the food, Jim smiled and nodded at me when he gave me mine. The smell of the cooked fish filled my nostrils.

Carl was already devouring what was on his plate. The others were talking, some laughing. I stared down at the cooked meat, a little skeptical. I didn't mind trying new things, but I didn't have to do it often. I wasn't fond of the smell either.

"What's wrong?" Carl asked, his mouth full. "Have you not had fish before?"

"No, Daddy says fish makes 'im sick, so we don' eat it." I said, placing the plate on my lap. I used my hands and ripped a small piece off of the meat and placing it into my mouth. The taste filled my mouth, I didn't mind it but I didn't love it either.

It was a nice change of pace from the squirrel and rabbit. A tickling sensation started on my tongue, turning into an itch. After chewing I swallowed the fish. The piece of meat seemed to get stuck in my throat, I tried swallowing again but failed. I began coughing and my tongue felt as if it were numb, it burned and itched badly. My eyes watered as I coughed, trying to force the fish out.

The coughs came out harsher and I struggled to catch my breath, trying to breathe through my nose but each cough interrupted the attempt. My chest tightened and I grabbed my throat, hoping it would help it some way.

I panicked, not sure what to do and I couldn't figure out how to breathe. I felt a small hand on my shoulder and looked at Carl, tears blurring my vision.

"Mom! Mom! I think she's choking!"

Through the tears I could see Lori gently pushing Carl out of the way, Lori placed both hands on the side of my head, "sweetie, hey, can you breathe?"

I shook my head. I felt the meat loosen in my throat and I bent over as it freed itself and fell onto the ground. I heard Lori sigh with relief but I didn't feel any better. My throat felt tight and numb, I struggled harder to breathe. I looked at her with wide eyes, pleading for her to help. Tears streamed down my face and my nose began to run.

"What is it, what's going on?" I heard Shane say as he appeared beside Lori.

"I-I don't know, she can't breathe. She's swelling up."

"Is she okay?!" I heard Carl yell out, but I couldn't see him.

A woman came up to me, I recognised her as Morales wife. She came close to me, hurriedly pushing Lori out of the way. The woman stared at my face for a moment before standing up, "Diles que hagan espacio, que tiene una reacción alérgica. Quédate con ella y trata de tranquilizarla, yo voy a buscar los remedios de Eliza."

Morales wife turned and ran away, I grabbed whoever was beside me, digging my nails into their arm while I tried to breathe. Looking up I could see it was Shane.

"Miranda says to make a room and to try to calm her," Morales said, coming forward, "she's having an allergic reaction."

"What do we do?" Lori asked as the dark haired woman moved away and out of sight.

"She's going to go get Eliza's shot," Morales knelt down to me, gently grabbing my one leg and laying it out. I could feel my face start to heat up, the pressure in my face building. I began to flail about trying to breathe.

"Hold her still," Morales said. Shane pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around my chest, panicked and confused I struggled harder.

"Shh," Shane squeezed me against him while Morales held my leg.

I could see the panic in Morales eyes, but he smiled, "hey, just keep calm. You'll be fine, alright? I need you to hold still."

I shook my head, not being able to keep still if I tried. I needed to breathe and couldn't understand why I wasn't able to. My legs began to feel weak and I felt lightheaded. Miranda, Morales' wife came to Morales and handed him some something. Morales held down my leg with one hand, taking the object to his mouth and ripping off what seemed to be a blue cap.

Morales arm goes up, lifting the object in his hands. Looking at the object in his hand, I see a bit of orange before his hand slammed down onto my thigh.

---

My eyes slowly opened, the first thing I saw was the campfire. I blinked hard, my head was pounding. I felt warm and I was leaning into something. Looking down, I could see arms wrapped around my stomach.

"She's awake."

I looked to my right to see Morales smiling at me, "how are you feeling?"

I scrunched my eyebrows together, I looked above me, seeing it was Shane that was holding me.

"The Epi-pen," I heard Lori say, I couldn't see where she was, "you said it was Eliza's?"

"Yeah, she has a bee allergy. We haven't had to use it yet."

I pushed against Shane, struggling to get up.

"Hey," he said, pulling me back down, "just relax, alright?"

Lori, who was on my left, leaned in close. She swept a strand of my hair behind my ear, "just take it easy for a bit."

"Wha-wha' 'appened?" I said quietly, my voice scratchy. I didn't realize how sore my throat felt until I tried talking.

"You had an allergic reaction," Lori said, "has anything like that happened before?"

I shook my head, "My throat hurts."

"Here."

I turned my head to look up at Shane, Dale was behind him, holding out a water bottle. Shane took it from him and handed it to me. I took it and pushed myself to sit up straighter. I unscrewed the cap and drank from the bottle.

"Are you okay?" Carl asked. I glanced over at him passed Lori, my throat hurt and my mouth felt dry and tingly. I also felt tired and a little weak.

Lori turned to him and stroked his head, "she's fine."

"Your face turned red, like really red and-"

"-Carl," Lori warned, "leave her alone."

"I was just saying."

My eyes widened and I looked at Lori, "wha's wrong with my face?"

"Nothing, sweetie. You just had an allergic reaction, you're fine now."

"Wha's tha'?"

"An allergic reaction?"

I nodded, then looked behind me at Shane, "m'I sick?"

"No, sweetheart, you're just fine," Lori told me.

"Well," Morales started, I looked over at him as he continued. "An allergy is when somebody can't tolerate something. If they get in contact with that specific thing, they get sick somehow. Like when you have food allergy, your body doesn't like that food it tries to fight it back out."

"So I can't eat?" I asked, confused.

"You can eat just fine," Shane said, "but it looks like you won't be able to eat fish. Unless she was having a reaction to something else?"

Morales shook his head, "I doubt it, it looked like an immediate reaction."

"She told me her dad gets sick from fish too," Carl said.

"Allergies are usually hereditary, aren't they?" Carol asked. She was sitting across the fire with Sophia on her lap.

"Sometimes," Morales nodded.

Shane looks at Morales, "I can't even express . . . Thank you. If your wife hadn't jumped in-"

"-You don't have to say anything."

"No, I want to. Without that Epi-pen, without you and your wife . . . well, we all saw where it was going . . ."

"Just be thankful this happened now," Dale said. "Better we know now than later on."

I lightly pushed myself off of Shane, putting the water bottle aside and leaning forward, away from him. I turned to him, hugging my knees, "can I go? I'm tired."

"Alright, get up, I'll take you to bed," Shane told me. I was a little disappointed, I preferred sleeping in Merle's tent, but I didn't protest, I felt too tired for it. Standing up, I swayed slightly, my legs weak from exhaustion. My left thigh felt sore, I lightly squeezed it, it felt bruised.

When I regained my balance I glanced over at the Dixon camp, wondering why the group wasn't back yet. I hoped they would both be back soon, then a thought struck me. Was it possible that neither of them would come back? First Merle didn't, what if Daryl doesn't come back either?

I pressed my lips together, walking over to Shane's tent. Thinking about it wouldn't do anything, I would have to wait.

As I walked, I glanced behind me, seeing Shane had stopped to talk to Dale. I kept going, knowing Shane would soon follow. When I approached the tent, I walked around to the entrance. When I was about to kneel down to unzip the tent, a noise halted me. I looked into the direction in front of me, the deep growling sound repeating.

My eyes widened as a figure emerged from the darkness. It was a woman, or used to be. Her hair was long and dark, some spots on her head were bald, as if her hair had been pulled out. The corpse's teeth were bared, snarling at the sight of me. It lunged and I jumped back, hurrying back the way I came but not taking my eyes off the corpse.

I opened my mouth, about to yell for Shane when someone beat me to it.

"Amy! Amy!" I heard one of the woman scream, I assumed it was Andrea but it was hard to tell. I heard the kids screaming at the top of their lungs and Carl yelling: "Mom!"

Looking in the direction of the group, I saw more and more of the corpses. For a split second, I thought going toward the single corpse would much safer. But as I looked at it, reaching for me, more appeared behind it.

I jumped when I heard one of the guns go off. I looked for Shane and found him standing in front of Lori, who was holding Carl in her arms. Shane was shooting his shotgun at any corpse that came close.

My best bet was to get to someone. But Shane was too far and there were too many corpses around him. Morales was doing the same as Shane with his family, but all he had was a bat. That was when I remembered my weapon, I reached up into my sleeve and clasped my hand around the handle, pulling it out.

I held it tightly, my first instinct was to throw it, but I thought better of it. I still wasn't that good at sinking them, and there was absolutely no way I'd be able to hit a moving target. The knife in my hand felt so useless then, I felt useless. Without being able to throw it the knife wouldn't help.

Get it in the head, I remembered Daryl told me, I's gotta be the brain, or it won't die.

The blade was short, to even attempt to stab the corpse where I needed to, I'd have to get really close. I had no desire to get that close, afraid it would only result in me getting bitten. And even if I tried, I was too short to reach.

Everyone had their own weapon, most had their gun. A thought struck me, I glanced at Shane with his shotgun, and my eyes found Dale, who had his rifle.

Not everyone has their weapons.

I thought hard, still scrambling away from the corpses. I remembered when I passed by Merle's tent, I saw his rifle leaning against it. Someone had put it there shortly after they first came from back Atlanta.

Not everyone has their weapons, Merle doesn't have his gun.

Luckily, I wasn't very far. I was able to get to it with little difficulty. As soon as I got to the tent, my eyes found Merle's rifle. I placed the handle of my knife into my mouth, holding it between my teeth as I hauled the large gun up, struggling to get a good grip. I hadn't expected it to be so heavy.

I turned to see three corpses advancing on me. I lifted the rifle higher, trying hard to get it into position, the weight made me stumble a bit. I checked the safety and saw it was already off. The adrenalin kicked in and helped immensely. I hadn't ever used a gun this big. I always stuck with handguns.

You're too weak, too tiny for the kickback, Daddy told me, it'll break ya in two

I racked my brain, replaying every moment I had seen Daddy use this kind of gun. I had even seen Merle use it once when he took me hunting.

You can do this, seen Daddy do it a hundred times. Don't be weak, don't be a baby.

I backed away and aimed the gun as the corpses got closer. I used my palm and pushed up the bolt handle, it took more force than expected. Then I pulled it back a quickly pushed it into place.

I built up all the courage possible, afraid of what the kickback would do. But the dead people scared me much more. I aimed it the best I could, I didn't bother looking through the scope, they were too close and there was no time for it.

I squeezed the trigger, there was a click and then nothing. Nothing.

My jaw dropped and I lowered the gun slightly, staring down at it incredulously.

It wasn't loaded.

Frustration and fear filled me as the closest corpse lunged, "Damn it, Merle!"

I lifted the gun as much as possible and swung, hitting the corpse with the barrel. It stumbled back knocking another down. I angrily threw the rifle to the ground, I knew it was a mistake as soon as I did it but I was already running. I took my knife out from between my teeth and clutched it tightly.

As I ran past, one of the corpse's hand got a hold of the bottom of my shirt. The grip wasn't too tight and I was able to tear myself away from it. Everyone was yelling, screaming. I wasn't sure how but was able to hear Shane over it all, "Everyone get to the RV! Go!"

I was already on my way when I heard him yelling, not knowing where else to go. Just as I got to the RV I was shoved hard into the side of it. Pain reverberated from my shoulder throughout my side.

A corpse had a hold of my arm with both hands, I tried pushing it back and hitting it the best I could. My other arm was trapped between me and the RV. I screamed and just as it's teeth were about to clamp down on my arm, then there was a loud thump as the corpse fell to the ground.

I looked up at Jim, he held a shovel over his head and brought it down onto the corpse's head, he did it again and again, assuring himself it was dead. I watched with wide eyes as the skull was crushed, blood splattering onto my jeans.

We are not taking that shovel from him ever again.

More of them came after Jim and he froze for a split second before whacking another one in the head.

Jim turned to me, "get down! Under the RV!"

As more corpses got closer, the fear overwhelmed me and I did exactly what he said. I hurried and lowered myself to the ground before rolling under the RV. I considered crawling and coming out on the other side, but looking over, I could see lots of different pairs of feet. The way they stumbled, the uneven steps made it easy to tell those people weren't alive.

I turned my head, looking back the way I had come. I gasped at the sight of one of the corpses, with long blonde, blood stained hair. Her skin turning a dull grey, her teeth blackened. She dug her fingers into the dirt, dragging herself toward me while grunting and snapping her jaws. I backed away, still clutching my knife as I sobbed. I knew I couldn't back away much, not without crawling out of the other side where more of the dead creatures could see me

I'm gonna die.

It got closer, very slowly dragging itself as it reached for me. I glanced at the knife and my hand, then at the corpse.

Kill it, you gotta kill it.

I pressed my lips together, tears streaming down my face. I tried calling out but no sound left my throat. Kill it before it kills you. I held my knife out, but quickly pulled back when the corpse snapped its teeth at me. I's gotta be the brain.

I held out my knife again with my right hand, pushing myself closer to the live corpse. I reached out as far as I could trying to get at a good angle, the corpse kept snapping at my hand, forcing me to move it away.

Just do it. Do it. Get it in the head. I's gotta be the brain. Get it in the head.

Do it!

I yelled out as I swung the knife into the side of it's head, squeezing my eyes shut upon the impact. I could feel the soft skull break against the impact of the knife. I was too afraid to open my eyes, afraid it would somehow chomp down on my arm. But when I felt the head drop and the knife slip from my grip, I opened my eyes.

The dead woman's face was into the ground, my knife lodged into her temple. I stared, gasping for air, waiting for her to pick her head up once again. I kept watching, waiting, not trusting it was really dead.

"Please be dead," I whimpered. When nothing happened at the sound of my voice, I dropped my forehead to the ground. Trying to calm my breathing and stop my crying.

I killed it. I felt the corners of my lips pull up, relinquishing the feeling of victory I had never felt.

I killed it.

---

I turned my head to the side, the side of my face lying on the ground. Listening, I noticed how quiet it was. A couple people were calling out, I could hear some crying and whimpering but there were no more gunshots, no screaming, no growling.

My mind felt foggy, it was hard to get a clear thought. I guessed it was from the exhaustion after the adrenalin wore off. It felt as if pressure was being pushed against my forehead from the inside, it didn't really hurt, it was more of a dull ache.

I could hear people talking, but I couldn't focus. I groaned, shifting my weight slightly to look at the corpse once again.

Still dead.

The voices seemed to get louder, and I was beginning to pull out of my incoherent state. When I was able to focus, I noticed it wasn't more than one voice that was getting louder.

"The girl, the little one!" The familiar voice yelled. I could hear someone respond, but couldn't make out the words.

After hearing several voices talking, I heard the familiar voice yelling again, "Kid! Kid! Hey, girl! Ah . . . Fuck, uh, Toby!"

My body shot up at my name and the back of my head slammed against the bottom of the RV With a bang.

"Ow," I dropped my body to the ground again, groaning in pain as I rubbed the back of my head. I only told one person my name the entire time of being at camp, and as far as I knew, he wasn't here.

I jumped when the corpse seemed to move, then sighed in relief in the realization that it was being dragged backward. When the corpse was out from under the RV, I could see the outline of someone's head peeking under the RV. It was too dark to make out whose head it was. I squinted as a bright light was shone in my face. I attempted to block it with my hand as I tried to see who it was.

"Hey, I got her! Under the RV!" Jim yelled.

My eyes began to adjust to the light and I could sort of make out Jim's face. Another face appeared beside his and my eyes widened.

We stared at each other for a minute before he huffed in frustration, "the hell ya waitin' for? You comin' out or ya gonna stay there all night?"

I pushed against the ground with my knees and used my elbows to drag myself toward Daryl and Jim. When I got close enough, Daryl and Jim each took one of my arm, helping me up. When I was standing up straight I looked Daryl up and down, besides some blood on his clothes, he looked fine. Looking around I spotted T-dog, Glenn and Rick. Rick was holding Carl in his arms, Lori beside him. Shane was near them, when he spotted me he hurried over. But I didn't see Merle.

"She alright?" Shane asked in a hurry as he got close, "are you hurt? Bit?"

Just as he approached, Daryl blocked him, placing both hands on his chest and roughly pushing him back, "back off, asshole."

Shane furrowed his eyebrows, squinting at Daryl angrily, "hey-"

"-You were s'posed ta be watchin' 'er! Where the hell were ya, huh?"

Shane didn't say anything. He looked away, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. Daryl scoffed at the cop and turned to me. He roughly grabbed my arm and pulled it up, twisting it around, searching. For a second, I was scared he would try and roll up my sleeves, but he didn't.

"Not bit, are ya?" Daryl asked in a low voice, dropping my arm and checking the other.

"No," I answered. He seemed to ignore me as he tugged my shoulder, glancing down at my back. He then crouched lower, checking my legs.

When I looked down at him, my eyes found the corpse that had been dragged out from under the RV.

"I killed it."

Daryl stood up, finished his search, "what?"

I pointed at the corpse. I could feel the corners of my mouth lifting up in a smile, showing him my accomplishment, "look."

Daryl glanced over at the corpse, his eyebrows came together and he brought his foot forward, kicking the corpse over onto it's back. The handle of my knife stuck out of the side of it's head.

"This ugly skank?" He asked, sounding disgusted.

I nodded, my smile grew wider, "Yeah, this skank. Got it in the head, jus' like ya said ta."

Daryl didn't say anything, he placed his foot on the corpse's face and bent forward. His hand wrapped around the handle of my knife and he yanked it out. He stood up straight, staring at the bloody knife.

"I killed it," I said again, almost not believing it.

Daryl glanced at me and scoffed, "the hell ya want, a gold star?"

I pressed my lips together and didn't say anything. Embarrassment filled me, making my cheeks flush. He brushed the knife against his shirt, wiping most of the blood off before holding it out to me. Reluctantly, I took it from him.

"I remember my dream now," Jim said, "why I dug the holes."

Someone started screaming and Daryl grabbed my arm, roughly pulling me into his side. A short distance away, behind some of the people was Andrea, screaming at the top of her lungs. A blonde corpse was over her, body covered in flesh blood. I stared, trying to figure out why the corpse was so familiar.

Amy

Andrea did her best to fight her sister off, screaming and sobbing. Morales ran up with his bat, and sung at Amy's head. Amy practically flew off of Andrea. Morales hurried toward the corpse then brought down the bat on her head once again. As Morales continued, trying to fully kill the corpse, Andrea sobbed and screamed her sisters name.

Everyone but Andrea was quiet. Lori went up to her and crouched down, attempting to comfort her. After the initial shock wore off of what happened, I grew worried and glanced around camp again. When I didn't find who I was looking for, I pulled away from Daryl his grip still tight on my arm.

"Where's Merle?"

Daryl looked off into the distance, "didn't find 'im."

Huh?

"Wha' you mean?"

"Didn' find 'im," he growled out, releasing my arm, "wasn't there."

Wasn't he handcuffed? How far could he go?

"Is 'e comin' back?" I asked after a while.

"Stop askin' questions," Daryl said angrily. I lowered my head. Anxiety built in my stomach, thinking about what happened, thinking about Amy, thinking about what could've happened to Merle.

I wanna go home

---

After some of the people calmed down, and were a little confident we had killed all of the corpses, they started figuring out what to do. It was late at night so they planned sleeping arrangements, no one felt safe. Shane and some of the rest decided they would switch shifts and take watch over the camp, two people at a time. Then in the morning, when they could see better they would take care of the bodies, but before anyone went to sleep, they had to take care of those who had been bitten and died, those people would turn into walking corpses.

They were going to send the children, including me to our tents with an adult while they took care of those who had been bitten. But Lori had spoken out on how she didn't feel it was safe, and several agreed. They came to an arrangement to put all the kids together in the RV.

Including me.

Me and Eliza got the bed, while Carl and Louis slept on the floor. Sophia wasn't in the bedroom part of the RV, but on the couch by the door with her mother. When we first came in, we could hear both of them crying for a while, then the sobs seemed to die down. I guessed they might've fallen asleep.

I wasn't sure how they had slept, but they did. Carl was beside me, lying on the floor, I was on the bed. Louis and Eliza slept fine, but Carl moved around a lot. I had felt so tired before, I had left the campfire ready to sleep, not caring where or if I woke anyone up with my nightmares. But after what happened, I was wide awake, so awake I wondered if I would ever sleep again.

Light shone through the curtains when dawn broke and I sighed.

"You awake?"

I jumped at the hushed voice, startled. I looked down at Carl to see him looking up

"Yeah."

Carl sat up, "I can't sleep, I've been trying. I feel tired but . . ."

As he trailed off we heard voices coming from outside. We didn't hear the exact words, but it was enough to know some people were up now.

"Do you think they'll let us out now?" He whispered.

"Nah, they gotta move the bodies."

We're both silent for a moment, listening to the movement outside.

"Are you scared?"

I didn't say anything, I just stared at the ceiling. I was, but I didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to be weak, I thought if I pretended not to be scared, I wouldn't be. Carl was sitting up, staring at me and waiting for his answer, but I didn't look at him, trying to indicate I wouldn't answer.

"Is your name Toby?"

My attention snapped to him, shocked and confused. After thinking about it, I remember that Daryl had called out my name when I was under the RV. I made a mental note to ask him how he knew later.

I sighed, "yeah."

"Isn't Toby a boys name?"

"You ask a lotta questions," I said.

"Just wondering," he said quietly.

"Well, stop. I's annoyin'." I told him, turning back to look at the ceiling.

"One more?"

I sighed and looked at him again, raising my eyebrows expectantly.

"Why wouldn't you tell anyone your name?"

I thought about it, "didn' think it mattered, didn' think I'd be 'ere this long either. Once Daddy gets 'ere we're goin' 'ome an' I won't see ya again."

"You're going to leave?"

"Ya said one more."

"Sorry," he mumbled. I watched out of the corner of my eyes as he laid back down on his sleeping bag.

Carl didn't say anything more after that. After a long while of silence, I looked over to see be had fallen asleep. I waited patiently, for something, anything to happen. The boredom was starting to get to me, I was straining my ears the best I could to try and hear the others outside.

When the sun shone brighter into the room, some voices got louder, including Daryl's. I jumped out of bed and walked toward the door, passed the couch Sophia had been sleeping on. I glanced at her, she was awake and staring at the door, startled by the sudden yelling. Carol wasn't with her anymore, I guessed she had went outside at some point.

I opened the door and stepped outside, I glanced to my right to see the commotion. Jim was sitting on the ground, leaning against the RV. Daryl was standing in front of him with a pick axe in his hands, but turned in the other direction to Carl's dad, Rick. my eyes widened, seeing that Rick had a gun aimed to Daryl's head.

Without thinking, I snapped into action, practically charging Rick. My hands pushed roughly into the man's side as I yelled, "hey, back off!"

Rick barely stumbled back a step and stared down at me incredulously, his gun still raised. Shane suddenly come toward me, his face scrunched up angrily. My confidence immediately evaporated and I backed away with each step he took

"What are you doing?! We need to have this talk again? You can't be interfering-"

Just as Shane got close, Daryl stepped in his path, "-ya gotta problem ya gonna take it up with me."

Shane stared and shook his head, attempting to push past, "this has nothing to do with you, Dixon."

"You got no right ta lose it on tha' girl, ya prick! What business you got tellin' 'er what ta do, huh?"

Me and Rick glanced at each other, both shocked and confused. Rick was beginning to lower the gun, watching the events unfold.

"What business I got? She is my business. I've been taking care of her all this time she's been with us. She's my responsibility, has been since the moment I found her. It has nothing to do with you."

Daryl scoffed, "tha' some kinda joke? Ya never even know where the damn kid is! Didn' know where the hell she was las' night, she obviously wasn't very far! Ya didn' even know 'er name 'til I told ya couple 'ours ago! Tell me again, go on, say she's your business."

Shane was silent, but his the muscles in his face tensed, his eyes practically bulging out of his head. Rick stepped forward, "let's just calm down. And-"

Shane ignored Rick, cutting him off by getting into Daryl's face, seething with anger. "You're out of line, Dixon. She didn't pull any of this before. Now look at her, she started spending time with you and your brother, then all of sudden she's hostile, disrespectful, she's putting herself in dangerous situations, she even pulled gun on me . . . I'm pretty sure we all know where that attitudes coming from. I wonder what you've been putting into this girls head, it certainly wasn't anything that would help to keep her safe."

"Maybe if you assholes wouldn' attack me all the damn time, she wouldn' put 'erself in those situations. The hell ya know 'bout keepin' people safe anyway? Take a good look 'round! Do a body count yet? How many people gotta die 'fore you get your goddamn head outta your ass! They were a'ready leavin' the city, comin' within a mile close ta camp. We told ya, we said it wasn' safe! People died, tha' kid almost died under your watch. We told ya this shit would happen! This is on you!"

The impact of Daryl's words were clear in Shane's expression. His jaw went slack, lips slightly parting. Daryl shook his head at Shane's silence, then slammed the pick axe he was holding into the ground before stomping away, grumbling; "isolated incident my ass . . ."

After one more glance at Shane, who turned his attention to the ground, I quickly followed Daryl. Daryl took long, quick strides as he walked. Once I caught up, I was practically jogging to keep up.

"People left my brother for dead, they had this comin'." He said angrily, "should just fuckin' kill 'im, gonna turn anyway."

"Kill who?" I asked.

"Tha' Jim guy got bit, they won't do what needs ta be done."

When we got to the Dixon camp, Daryl disappeared into his tent. As I stood there, I glanced behind me at the RV to see they were taking the kids out. Once the kids were outside, they all watched as Rick led Jim into the RV. I look back at the tent, startled as a bag is thrown out, I wait for a minute, then another is thrown out.

I watched Daryl in confusion as he crawled out, beginning to take down the tent.

"What're ya doin'?" I asked.

"Can't stay 'ere no more, they get tha' now."

"Where are ya gonna go?"

"Hell if I know, they're talkin' 'bout goin' to the CDC, bunch of dumbasses."

"Wha's CDC?"

He hesitated, then sighed, "they make medicine an' stuff."

"Are ya gonna go with 'em?"

"For now," he said as the tent collapsed.

"Wha' 'bout Merle?"

"Wha 'bout 'im? I's 'is own damn fault, asshole, shoulda jus' fuckin' waited. Tha's all he had ta do, ain't that hard. 'e didn' think I'd go for 'im, I guess."

"Tha's stupid," I said, looking down.

"Yeah, 'es pretty stupid." Daryl rolled his eyes, "ya gonna stand there or make yourself useful?"

I nodded and placed my knife on the ground, stepping forward. I helped him fold the tent up and pack up the rest of his small campsite

"Hey, Daryl!" Glenn called when we finished, "can you give us a hand?"

I glanced over, Glenn, T-dog, and Morales were over by a pickup truck. They were lifting dead bodies that were wrapped up into the back. We lost a lot of people, I didn't know any of them. I had hardly talked to the people in camp I did know, the others I hardly gave a second glance. I didn't know any of their names either. The only person I knew that died, was Amy.

Without a word, Daryl walked over to them. I picked up my knife and began to follow him, once again jogging to keep up.

He stopped and looked at me, "beat it, will ya? Don't need ya 'round those bodies."

He walked off again and I stayed in place, feeling a little disappointed. But at the same time, I didn't want to go over to that truck.

I glanced at the RV, thinking about Jim. I was also thinking about Marcus, how sick he had gotten before he died. Twice. I looked around camp and my eyes stopped at the firepit, beside it was a white bucket. I walked over and looked inside of the bucket, there were a few left over picked mushrooms inside. I emptied the bucket and went toward the RV.

When I walked in, I didn't see Jim at first. I glanced into the bedroom of the RV, seeing him in the bed. I stood in the doorway, waiting for him to notice me. He was shirtless and there was a bloody bandage wrapped around his abdomen. HIs face was flushed and his hair soaked with sweat.

"What're you doin' here?" He asked when he noticed me, his voice weak. I glanced down at the bucket in my hands and came closer, putting it beside him. He glanced from the bucket to me, obviously confused.

I opened my mouth but closed it. Thinking of what to say or do. Seeing him in that state, made me realize how much I didn't want to be there. It made me think of what happened the night before, the corpses. They were all people before they got bit, now Jim would be one of them. I stared at Jim, then imagined him with those yellow eyes.

"Gonna need it," I mumbled, then I turned away and left.

Leaving the RV, I glanced around camp fearfully, the corpses had been moved and burned already. I kept waiting, afraid more would come. Why wouldn't they? So many had shown up already. I glanced at the knife in my hands and bit my lip, deciding that I would never go anywhere with at least one of them.

I hurried toward Shane's tent and when I got there I went inside and saw my knives still on my cot. I grabbed them and put them on my leg. Adjusting the straps around my left thigh. When I felt they were tight enough I slipped the knife I had out into it's slot.

Thinking about it, I realized if Daryl was packing his tent, Shane would too. I took my blanket that was on top of my cot, it was the same one Shane had found in mine and Daddy's car. I exited the tent and went to my hiding place behind it. I unburied my hidden items, then one by one, placed them on the blanket. When I had everything, I wrapped the blanket up around the items and made my way back.

When I did, I saw the truck with the bodies driving away. Daryl was standing over by where it was, looking around camp. When his eyes found me he began walking toward me.

"C'mon," he said when he got close, "gonna go bury the bodies."

Without saying anything, I start following him. I held the blanket tightly in my arms as I followed him.

"Mister Daryl?"

"What?"

"How did ya know my name?"

He hesitated, looking straight ahead, "Merle. Talks 'bout you sometimes."

"He say anythin' else 'bout me?" I asked.

Daryl didn't answer, I continued following but he suddenly began walking toward his packed up camp. I stopped and watched him, confused, He reached into the front pocket of one of the bags and pulled something out. I squinted my eyes, not being able to tell what it was.

When he reached me, he held out the object in his hand. Hesitantly, I took it with one hand, my other hand holding the blanket against my stomach.

"Glenn found some in Atlan'na, was gonna give 'em to the kids," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Ain't no gold star . . . but . . ."

I stared down at the chocolate bar in my hand, surprised. When I looked back up again, he shrugged.

"He woulda gave ya one anyway, jus' figured you'd be followin' me so I'd see ya first."

I gaped at him for a moment, " . . . thanks."

Daryl gave a nod and started walking in the direction the truck went. I smiled a little, tucking the chocolate into the blanket before catching up to him. When we were side by side, I was closer to him than usual, his arm brushing mine occasionally. I glanced up at him, he didn't seem to notice or mind.

---

I was standing beside Daryl, we were beside Morales and his family on the hill Jim had dug his holes. More had been dug, I guessed it was done earlier in the morning. The dead had mostly been placed into their graves, Amy was last. Andrea was determined to do it herself, and that was when I looked away, not wanting to watch.

Some of the people buried the bodies while the others watched in silence. I glanced around at all the people. Most of them looking down, and or crying. Sophia was with her mother, they were holding on to each other tightly, both sobbing. That was the first time I noticed Ed wasn't there. I glanced back at all the holes being refilled, realization coming to me.

I felt sad for Sophia losing her daddy and Andrea losing her sister. But not enough to cry. I didn't feel as sad as everyone else did. Instead I felt guilty, guilty that I wasn't handling it like they were.

I wondered if I should be crying too, but I felt no need to. Was I supposed to feel as sad as they were? I glanced up at Daryl to read his expression. He was gnawing at his thumbnail, arms crossed, but otherwise his expression was blank.

I had never been to a funeral before and I didn't understand it. They were dead, we knew that, why was it a tradition to stand around their graves? It looked like it just made everyone sad, I didn't see the point.

After the funeral was done, we all walked back to camp. I stayed close to Daryl and didn't leave his side. Shane told everyone to gather around the fire pit. As everyone did what he said, including Daryl, Shane, Rick, Lori, and Carol went into the RV to check on Jim.

"Mister Daryl?"

He sighed, "stop callin' e tha', gettin' my nerves."

"Sorry," I mumbled, looking at my feet.

"Wha' ya want?"

"Is it my fault mister Jim got bit?"

At first he didn't say anything, then he nudged my shoulder. I glanced up at him, his eyebrows were furrowed in confusion.

"Tha' wha' you think?"

I shrugged.

"Well stop, ain't doin' no good to anyone thinkin' tha'. Hear me?"

I nodded. A few minutes later, Shane, Rick, Carol and Lori all stepped out of the RV and joined the group. All attention was turned to Shane as he looked around at all of us.

"I've been, uh . . . I've been thinking about Rick's plan to go to the CDC. Now look, there are no guarantees either way, I'll be the first one to admit that. I've known this man a long time, I trust his instincts. I say the most important thing here is that we need to stay together. So those of you that agree, we head out in two hours. Okay?"

There was a long silence among the group.

Morales suddenly, stepped up, "We're . . . we're not going," he said, gesturing to his family. "We have family in Birmingham, we want to be with our people."

Shane shook his head, "you go on your own, you won't have anyone to watch your back."

"We'll take the chance, I got to do what's best for my family."

"You sure?" Rick asked.

He nodded, "we talked about it, we're sure. We have our things packed, we're ready."

Rick and Shane spoke to each other in low voices, then Rick walked away a couple steps to a bag on the ground. He pulled out a gun, and a small box which I guessed had bullets in it.

Both Shane and Rick approached Morales, "the box is half full."

Daryl scoffed and rolled his eyes, obviously not approving of the gesture. He turned away from the scene.

I watched as Shane and Rick shook Morales hands. Everyone gathered around saying their goodbyes. Eliza hugged Sophia and the both of them were crying, Eliza gave Sophia her doll. Everyone exchanged hugs and handshakes, I just stood, a little confused about all the gestures.

After it seemed everyone had said their own goodbye, Miranda started coming toward me, at first, I didn't believe she was coming to me, but she was.

The woman smiled and without hesitation, wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me to her. I gaped, my body tensed up, I wanted to pull away but couldn't get myself to. After a moment, she released me and smiled, her expression was soft and gentle. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to do anything, and instead of trying, I just stood there with a bewildered expression.

She didn't seem to notice as she leaned down and placed her lips to my forehead.

What the hell?

She stood up straight and patted my head, then turned away back to her husband. I glanced at Daryl, who had turned his attention back to us and was staring at Miranda.

"Wha . . . why did she do tha'?" I asked him, my voice barely above a whisper.

He glanced down at me, "the hell ya askin' me for?"

A few moments later, we watched as the Morales family drove away.

Shane told everyone to get their things, and make sure everyone was ready. Someone had drove the truck back down from the hill, and Daryl opened the back of it as soon as it was parked. Nearby, he approached a motorcycle that I hadn't really seen anyone touch. I walked over as he pushed the bike toward the truck.

"Can I help?"

He sighed, "go get those bags."

I do what he said and walked over to where the packed up camp was. I dropped my blanket and did my best to carry the two bags and the rolled up tent. It didn't work out very well and I took a long time trying. In the end, I just took the two bags to him, deciding I'd just take a second trip to get the tent. When I got back to the truck, the motorcycle had been loaded into the back.

When I got to him he took both bags from me and threw them in the back. I ran back to where the tent was and tucked it under my arm, picking up my rolled up blanket with the other. I took the tent to him, and he placed it with the bags before slamming the back shut.

The next two hours went by pretty quickly, I was lost in my own thoughts the entire time, staring at the emptying camp. I was thinking hard about all of it, how dangerous it was here, why they had to leave, and what it really meant for me.

"Everybody listen up. Those of you with C.B.'s we're gonna be on channel 40. Let's keep the chatter down, okay? Now you got a problem, don't have a C.B. or can't get a signal or anything at all, you're gonna hit your horn one time. That'll stop the caravan. Any questions?"

Everyone was silent or shaking their heads.

"Toby!"

My body tensed up and I was confused, not used to hearing my name. I was away from all of the cars, but not far, sitting on the ground. I looked up at Carl as he ran up to me.

"I asked my mom, she said you can ride with us if you want."

I blinked, confused, then shook my head.

"I won't talk if you don't want me to."

"I'm not goin'."

"Who are you riding with? Shane?"

I shook my head, "I'm not goin'. Jus' told ya tha'."

He stared for a minute, confused, "oh." Carl turned away, walking toward the cars, he stopped to glance back at me a couple times. I watched as he went to his mother and spoke to her. As he talked, she glanced at me.

Lori told Carl something then started toward me. Carl stayed in place, watching his mother. When she got close, I stood up leaving my blanket on the ground.

"Hey, sweetie," she said, he arms crossed. "Let's get you buckled in, if you're hungry we'll get you a snack."

"Sorry," I said, "not goin'."

Daryl's truck is the closest to us. Daryl was standing near it and looked over, noticing me. He walked closer but not all the way, "hey! The hell ya waitin' for, gotta get goin'."

"Come on, folks." Shane called out, coming into view Rick following behind him. Shane spotted us and walked over, "you ladies ready, can't be waiting around no more."

Carl jogged over to him, walking by his side as he came close to us, "she said she's not coming with us."

Lori glanced behind her at the men, then back at me. She lowered herself, placing her hands on her knees, "what do you mean you're not going? Is something wrong?"

"I jus' can't, gotta wait for daddy."

Lori immediately stood up straight, gaping at me. She was looking at me as if I'd slapped her. I glanced around, looking at the bewildered expressions on their faces. None of them except Carl looked confused.

"Why y'all lookin' at me like that?" I said.

Lori backed away and turned to the men,"Shane . . ."

Shane ran both his hands through his hair, shaking his head, "I know, I know. Shit."

"The hells goin' on?" Daryl asked.

Shane rubbed his eyes and took a couple steps closer.

"Shane," Rick started, "do you want me to-"

"-No," Shane said, "this is my fault, I made my own bed, I'll lie in it."

Shane motioned for me to come closer and I did. When we came together he crouched in front of me, "you and me gotta have a talk."

"'Bout wha'?"

For the first few moments, he's silent, thinking hard about what to say. "You, uh, you understand why we have to leave, don't you?"

"I's not safe no more."

He gave a nod, "that's absolutely right. It's not safe here, we need to go somewhere that is safe. You can't stay, I can't allow that, no one here will let that happen."

"I gotta," I said, trying to make it clear, "I wasn't even s'posed to leave the car."

"I need you to listen to me, and I need you to understand." He said, looking down, "we can't wait anymore, it's been too long. If . . . if he . . . if he could be here, he would be. But he's not."

I scrunched my eyebrows, processing his words, "what?"

He looked up at me, his eyes were watering, "I'm sorry, I didn't want to have to tell you this."

I glanced behind him. Lori was crouching in front of Carl, both his hands in hers, she was talking to him. But Carl was looking at me. Rick is watching Shane and I with a solemn expression, then I noticed some other camp members had appeared, watching.

"We can't wait anymore, there's nothing to wait for."

I just blinked, dumbfounded, "what?"

"You've heard from Glenn and the others how bad it is in Atlanta. We were safe here until the Walkers came. You know they're dangerous, what they do . . ."

I nodded, my eyes were watering and it felt as if there was a lead weight in my stomach. I didn't fully understand what he was telling me. I just knew it wasn't good.

"Assuming . . . assuming he stuck to the road, the direction he went. He went toward the city. It's been too long, he's gone."

I stared at him, blinking at the water in my eyes, making tears spill out. I opened my mouth, trying to get words out but I had nothing to say. I didn't understand and my confusion wasn't allowing me to sort it out.

"You waited until now to do this?" I heard Daryl say, "how could you not tell her this shit?!"

It didn't make sense, why wouldn't he come back? And if it was possible he was dead, that one of those things, the Walkers could've gotten him. Why hadn't I thought about it, why didn't anyone tell me?

Then the realization struck me as hard as a brick and I began to shake. I thought about all the time I spent with these people, how they acted, how I acted.

The way Shane and Lori would look at me. Those forced smiles that looked so wrong being plastered on their faces. The way they tried coaxing me to talk with them, or the kids, or anything. I remembered the day when Amy did my hair, how happy Lori had been when I had actually talked to her. That was one of the first days we ever conversed from both sides. Then there was Dale, I liked the silence and being on the RV, everyone usually left me alone. But there was always this tension in the air, it was in the way he looked at me but I could never tell what it was. Sympathy.

I knew they were trying to make me feel more comfortable, that much was obvious. But it went deeper than that, they were trying to keep me happy. To bond with them, to keep my mind off mourning someone I didn't know I should've been mourning.

"Try gettin' mad, it helps. Think about your daddy if ya have ta."

"We want to help, you just have to let us."

"It's a start."

"I know its been hard for you and I don't want to make it worse on you."

They probably thought I had considered, that it had crossed my mind why he hadn't come to the camp. It didn't.

Looking around at everyone, it was clear on their faces that everyone knew. No one was shocked, none of them were able to look my way. I turned my eyes to Shane's as the tears streamed down my cheeks. I could see it in his eyes while he bit that stupid lip. It was obvious, so painfully obvious. He had known from the moment he left that note.

"You didn' tell me," I said, trying to put as much anger in my voice as possible as I sobbed.

"We weren't sure," he said, his voice cracking.

"You seem pretty sure now," I mumbled.

Shane reached an arm out, about to place it on my shoulder, but in a quick motion I smacked it away. Not thinking or caring about the consequences.

Shane's voice sounded weak as he spoke, "listen-"

"Think she's heard 'nough, fuckin' asshole." I heard Daryl stomp forward. I looked up at him as he gently took my elbow, pulling me away. I wanted to pull away, to scream. I was mad at so many things I didn't even understand half of them.

Daryl stopped, "tha's yours, right?"

I followed his hand to where he's pointing, seeing it's my blanket. I picked it up, hugging it and the contents wrapped inside. I don't move or start walking again until I feel Daryl's hand press into my back, leading me away. Without questioning or looking at him, I obey.

Daryl led me to the passenger side of his truck. He took his hand from my back and stepped in front of me, opening the door. I stared at him, my eyes and nose burned, and I used my wrist to wipe the tears.

Stop crying, you baby. This is probably why he didn't come back. Weak. My lip quivered at the thought as I stared blankly at the car door Daryl is holding open.

Daryl sighed, avoiding eye contact, "jus' get in, you can ride with me for now."

I shift my gaze to the road, almost believing in these last moments he would just show up.

"Jus' get in, a'right. Fuck this is so messed up. I'm sorry. Shit."

I pressed my lips together and climbed into the truck. When I was sitting in the passenger seat with my blanket on my lap, Daryl slammed the door.

I leaned my head against the window, not even thinking when several minutes later, the truck is moving. I turned to the driver's seat to see Daryl. I hadn't even heard him come in. I was thinking hard about the events the last two days. I wasn't sure how long we'd been driving when I spoke up, but I was sure it was a while.

"Why didn't ya find Merle?" I said, my voice sounding dry and hoarse.

"Bastard cut 'is own hand off," Daryl muttered.

I stared at him, my eyes wide, "Is he . . ."

Daryl shook his head, looking at the road, "jus' 'is hand. Tha' stupid asshole's fine, no one can kill Merle but Merle."

"Is 'e gonna die out there?" We had lost so many people in the last twenty-four hours, including Merle. Although, only me and Daryl seemed to notice. Merle wasn't coming back, Daddy wasn't coming back. Jim was bit.

"No one can kill Merle but Merle. 'es not dead." he repeated.

His tone sounded convinced, believing his words. No one can kill Merle but Merle, I repeated this in my head several times.

Both of us are silent again, the only sound was the one coming from the car and my tiny sobs as I tried to calm them. The next little while, I kept catching Daryl looking at me, but I pretended not to notice.

"I didn't know."

I turned to him, he was still looking at the road, "wha'?"

"Tha' first day ya came with those squirrels. The way ya talked about him, sounded like ya knew. I didn't know ya didn't."

"Guess I shoulda. They all knew. Don't know why they told me otherwise."

He turned to me, biting his lip, "I'm sure . . . he woulda came back, if he could-"

"-'es not dead." I snapped. "My daddy's not dead, I know 'es not."

"What makes you so sure?"

"What makes you so sure Merle ain't?" I asked and he looked away.

"He's not dead, he's just . . . gone."

I thought about it before asking, "Like Daddy?"

Daryl took a quick glance at me out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't respond as he stared back at the road.

Not dead, just gone