"Hey."
My head still leaning on the window, I slowly turned to the driver's seat. At first I couldn't make out what I was seeing, or hearing.
"Hey," the voice said, "hey."
Remembering where I was and who I was with, I began to recognise the voice. But it sounded strange, distant. It sounded like Daryl, but at the same time it didn't. I stared at him, his hands were on the wheel, not looking at me. I couldn't see him clearly, something was very wrong but I couldn't tell what it was, my mind couldn't wrap itself around the issue my brain was having.
Daryl turned to me and that's when I was able to see it.
The front of his shirt was drenched in blood, bite marks made holes in his shirt and marked up his arms and neck. I began shaking, panicking while wondering why I hadn't noticed the change. The eyes were what got to me, that was always the worst. Those cold dead eyes, the dead eyes which glowed, and moved and blinked, proving they weren't really dead. I wanted to scream, run, anything, but all I could do was stare.
Daryl's corpse lunged at me, grabbing my arm, shaking me harshly. A scream ripped through my throat. I thrashed my arms out, clawing at his, kicking my legs and trying to get in a position where I could get my legs on the seat to hold him back. One of my hands was able to grab a hold of his wrist and-
"-Jesus christ, will ya knock it off?!"
I froze, staring at Daryl. His eyes were his normal blue, his shirt had some splattered, dried blood, but not as much as I had seen a moment ago. He was leaning toward me and I had his wrist in my hand.
I looked around, noticing the truck had stopped and the RV was parked in front of us, it was a lot brighter outside than it had been a moment ago.
Daryl yanked his wrist from my hand, eyes squinted, "the hells the matter with ya?"
I opened and closed my mouth, still shaking and panting for breath, "N-nothin'."
"Whole lotta nothin'. Ya fell asleep, was jus' tryin' ta wake ya up."
Sleep. I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to gain my composure. That made sense, it was a nightmare, why didn't I figure that out myself? Brain isn't working right.
When I opened my eyes, I saw Daryl staring silently at me, his expression unreadable. He glanced ahead to the RV, then opened his door.
"Gonna see what the fucks the hol' up," he muttered.
I watched through the windows as Daryl walked off around the RV. I could hear some distant chatter but stayed in place. A few minutes later Daryl came back into sight, motioning for me to get out. I did just that and went toward him.
"Somethin' in the RV broke, might be here a while."
I followed Daryl until the rest of the group came into sight, they were all gathered together. The only ones I didn't see were Jim and Andrea, I figured Jim was in the RV, but I didn't know where Andrea was.
I stopped in my tracks when I saw them, suddenly feeling sick and tears burned my eyes, remembering the events of the day. I turned my back to them clenching my fists in anger. I glanced at the truck, thinking of waiting in it, but I didn't want to be alone. Actually I did, but not that much, not with what had happened, what still could happen.
I hoped we wouldn't be stuck for too long, I didn't want to be around anyone.
"H-Hey,"
Oh no, I thought as I heard Carl's voice. I could practically feel him standing behind me. I didn't move, or make any sign to show I had heard him.
"Hey," he said, a little louder. He waited for me to say something, but I didn't, hoping he would go away.
"I . . . uh, Glenn-uh, Glenn gave me and Sophia chocolate bars. Did you get one?"
I hesitated, then nodded.
"If you want more . . . I didn't finish mine, I-I was gonna save half for later. You can have it if you want."
Stop being so damn nice, I thought in frustration, I'm trying to ignore you.
"No," I said.
"Do you want to see my comics again? We could-"
"-Carl, go see your mother for a bit, alright?" I heard a voice say.
"But, dad-"
"-I know you're trying to help, I'm sure she appreciates it. But she's upset, just give her some time, can you do that?"
" . . . Yeah."
I heard footsteps and assumed Carl had walked away. Rick stepped in front of me, kneeling to my height. I kept my eyes down avoiding his gaze. He took off his hat, which kind of reminded me of a cowboy hat, and held it to his chest.
"I understand that I may be the company you desire least at this moment," he told me, "I understand you're going through a hard time. I'm sure you feel angry, scared, alone . . . and I know that I share the blame for that. I can't very well make it up to you, or Daryl. But despite . . . despite how you feel about their way of handling your . . . situation, the people here, do care about you. If you need anything, you can ask anyone."
I turned my head, instead of looking at the ground, I was looking at the RV. Be blank, be blank, I reminded myself as angry tears flooded my eyes. I did the best I could, pretending he wasn't there, that I couldn't hear him, it just wasn't working.
Thinking everything over, I wondered, why were these people keeping me around? It had made sense when we were waiting for Daddy, but why didn't they leave me behind? I wasn't their responsibility, and despite what Rick was saying, I doubted anyone cared. Why would they?
I was just some stupid little girl they got stuck with.
Now that we weren't waiting for Daddy, it changed the situation entirely, didn't it? I thought on it more, then realized it didn't. Not if they knew this entire time. So why keep me around in the first place? I'm not their business.
"I've known Shane a long time," Rick continued. This made me raise my eyebrows, briefly glancing at him. Haven't they only met two days ago?
"He doesn't feel right about the way he handled things. I'm not asking you to now, or even tomorrow, but when you're ready, I hope you'll talk to him. He wants to help, he knows you're hurt and he feels he's to blame for it. And I am sure, in a way, he is. I just wanted you to keep in mind that he didn't have a hand in what happened to your father, I'm sure you know that. He shouldn't have lied-"
Suddenly, the RV door was slammed open. I turned around as most people did the same, turning to Jaqui.
"Ya'll, Jim . . ." She said, "it's bad, I don't think he can take anymore."
Everyone was silent, not sure what to say, but concern was etched into their expressions. Rick got up and walked by me, gently patting my shoulder as he did.
"Hey, Rick," Shane called, stepping out from the font of the RV. "You want to hold down the fort? I'll drive ahead, see what I can bring back."
Rick nodded and put his hat back on his head, he opened the door to the RV and went in.
"Ya'll keep your eyes open now, be right back." Shane said to us, his eyes fell on me and I looked away again, back at the truck.
"I'll come with you, back you up." I heard T-Dog say.
We waited a while. I got tired of standing and decided to sit on the ground. I thought about what I was going to do, but there wasn't anything for me to do. I thought about how long I'd be with these people but I had no way of knowing. It all depended if Daddy found us, but how could he? We were too far now, and would only go farther. What stopped him from coming?
He could be dead, I knew that was a possibility. Seeing Shane's face, Rick's, and even Daryl's when they talked to me about him, I could tell that was what they believed.
I wiped both eyes with my fingertips, he's not dead.
Then why isn't he here?
I shook my head trying not to think about it. But I had too, I had no idea what I was going to do. I had to live with these people now. Would it be forever? Where could I go otherwise?
I looked around. On the side of the road we were parked on there was hill, some tree on it and more forest area. I thought about just leaving at that moment, I doubted they wanted me around anyways. I knew how to skin if I was able to hunt down food now thanks to Merle, and though I wasn't fantastic, it was enough.
I sighed, aggravated. I never had to stay with different people, I never even slept at a different house. I was either camping with Daddy, or at home.
Hell, if it wasn't for those corpses, I would've been running up that hill. But I was too scared, too weak. I got lucky killing that one under the RV, I doubted I'd get lucky again. I had to stay with these people as long as they would have me.
That didn't mean I had to talk to them, right?
I leaned forward and put my head in my hands, what am I going to do?
Daryl didn't seem like he was leaving the group anytime soon, even being around them he usually hung back, not talking to anyone. He was distant. I glanced up, seeing him by the group but several steps away from them, fidgeting with his crossbow awkwardly.
Maybe if I stayed around him more I didn't have to be around them, maybe they would leave me alone. I liked Daryl, but I didn't think he liked me very much, he let me ride with him, that was a good sign.
I was around Merle a lot, and Merle was the one I listened to. It made sense to stay with Daryl, didn't it? I knew I would have to be careful, I couldn't be annoying or needy. If anything I could try helping like I did with Merle. After the first time Merle took me hunting with them, he always made me release the squirrels and reset the snares while he watched. He corrected it when I made mistakes but usually I was good at it. I just had to make myself useful.
If Merle was able to find us he would let me stick around him. He always seemed fine with having me around. Daryl always seemed the opposite, whenever Merle took me hunting with them, Daryl didn't agree with it. He hardly even looked at me when I was sitting with them. Not that it bothered me, it was just a clear indication that he didn't want me around.
Daryl seemed okay with me now, he let me ride with him. But that could easily change, Daryl didn't like being around anyone, he was either alone or with his brother. Daryl had no reason to keep me around.
But neither did Merle.
That was true, I never understood why he kept me around, but Merle was different then Daryl. If I was going to try to stay with Daryl, I couldn't act like a whiny, annoying kid. When he decided he didn't want me around anymore, I'd be stuck with someone else. Before it was Shane who kept a constant watch on me, that leash seemed to loosen once I was around Merle and Daryl, even though he didn't like it.
Daryl seemed like the safest choice too, I remembered in the woods when the corpses came at us and he killed them all. If it came down to it, and I was sure it would, he could kill them again. I could be safe with him.
I had to think of ways to keep myself safe though, I couldn't depend on Daryl and hide every time something went bad. The last time I hid, Jim got bit. I was too short to reach up and stab them in the head, my aim wasn't good enough with my knives, I could hardly hit a tree let alone a moving target.
Maybe if I had a bow. But where the hell would I even find one? I'd waste too many bullets with a gun, and I doubted anyone in the group would let me have one.
I looked at the road ahead of us when I heard a car. It was Shane and T-Dog, when they parked they told us they had found some cars and were able to siphon some gas. They pulled two red jugs from the car.
I looked back down again, drawing in the dirt with my hand. I ignore them all for a while. Everyone filled up their vehicles with the gas Shane and T-Dog found. A short while later they were all gathered in the place they were before. Rick had come out of the RV. I didn't notice them talking at first so I didn't catch the first part of the conversation.
"It's not your call," Lori said loudly, firmly staring at Rick and Shane. "Either one of you."
The two men thought for a moment then looked at each other.
"He doesn't have a lot of time left, and he can't handle the trip. We should honour what he wants," Dale said.
Rick nodded and looked at Shane, after a moment Shane returned the nod and they both disappeared in the RV. I watched as a moment later they were helping Jim out of the RV. Both of his arms were around the men's shoulders as they began walking him up the hill. I stood up as everyone followed, confused. I glanced at Daryl, he was gnawing on his thumb nail, watching them go but made no indication he would follow.
I watched the group gathered at the top of the hill, they were there for a few minutes but I couldn't tell what was going on. I wondered if Jim was turning, I didn't fully understand that process yet.
What happened if Jim did turn, were we going to kill him? Would he try to eat us like the rest? Jacqui hurried down the hill wiping her eye. She went over to the RV and sat in the doorway. I stared at her for a minute, when she began to sob I felt bad for looking and immediately turned away.
I glanced at Daryl from a couple feet away, he stared up at the group, watching silently.
"Wha's goin' on?" I asked him quietly, stepping closer. He glanced down at me, then back up the hill as Rick started to come down.
"Jim wants ta be left 'ere, ain't got much time left."
We're leaving him?
Lori and Carl came down next, followed by Shane, then by Carol and her daughter. As the rest started to leave I went forward toward Jim. They were all leaving him in place, and he didn't look like he had turned yet. Were we waiting until he turned? Are we going to kill him?
As I got closer, seeing him more clearly, leaning against a tree on the ground, an enormous feeling of guilt enveloped my core.
Jim caught my eye and watched as I made my way toward him. He seemed surprised at first but then he smiled. I stopped when I felt I was close enough, and rubbed my arm awkwardly. His face was no longer flushed, instead, the fever seemed to have drained it of all colour. The sweat more evident on his face then when I'd seen him before. I could hear him breathing, a raspy, weak sound, as if every breath was a struggle.
"I'm sorry," I said quietly, looking down at my tattered shoes.
"What're you sorry for?" He asked, his voice sounding weak.
"Ya got bit cause a' me, shoulda helped, shouldn'ta hid."
"You didn't do anything wrong . . ." he said, and I looked up, "you did the right thing. What happened to-to me . . . had nothin' to do with you."
Jim leaned his head back against the tree, looking up, "don't worry about me, I'm gonna be with my family."
The only reason I got away was 'cause the dead were too busy eating my family, I remembered.
I didn't understand what we were doing, or why. I didn't understand why he wanted to turn into another one of those things. Then again, he didn't have a choice. And we couldn't stop it.
Jim's eyes opened and he looked at me, his head still facing upward, "I'm okay, I'm happy."
I stared for a minute, at a loss of what to say when suddenly, my shoulder was nudged. I looked beside me, seeing Daryl. His expression was soft, but unreadable as he looked down at me.
"I'm okay," Jim said again, "You go on now."
Daryl nudged me again with his elbow, and I saw him give Jim a sight nod. Jim smiled in return as we both turned, walking away.
"Bye . . ." I mumbled as we left him.
At the bottom of the hill by the RV, I stood with Daryl. The others were still trying to get the RV running but I hoped we could leave soon. I stared at Daryl's truck, wanting to hide myself away.
"Can go wait in the truck if ya want," Daryl said quietly.
I looked up at him unsurely, he seemed to sense my fear right away.
"I can see ya from here, you'll be fine. See somethin' call out."
I hesitated, then nodded, walking toward the truck.
After I closed the door, I looked up where Jim was. His head was still looking upward. I didn't understand why we were leaving him. He knew he was gonna turn didn't he? It seemed like he wanted to be one of those things. But why?
Thinking about it, there wasn't anything we could do for him. We couldn't stop him from turning, the only way to do that would be to kill him. Maybe no one wanted to do that for him, or maybe it was what he wanted.
He's dying anyway.
That made me think about Merle, where he was and what he was doing. Was he like Jim? Dying, or maybe he was already dead. Would he try to find the group? He would try to find Daryl, why wouldn't he?
Could this be what happened to Daddy? Was he dead? At that thought there was a pang in my stomach, feeling as if I'd been punched.
He's not dead.
Then there was Merle, no one knew where he was. Would he end up like Jim, did he already? Daryl seemed pretty sure he was alive, just as sure as I was about Daddy. But there was still no way we could possibly know. I had no idea about Daddy, but I wondered if Merle would go back to camp. He would try to get to Daryl, right?
Staring at Jim, I realised how wrong everything felt. To be here with these people, to not be at home, what happened to Jim, Merle, Amy. Those dead things walking around trying to eat us. Everything was so wrong. Merle and Daddy could very well be one of those things now, or on their way to being ones.
Only a few minutes later did Daryl open the driver's door, "think they got it."
"Mister Daryl?" I asked when he climbed in.
"Told ya not ta call me tha'." he said, slamming the door.
"Daryl?"
"Yeah."
"After goin' to this place, are we gonna go back to our camp?"
"Why the hell would we do tha'?" He stared at me, confused.
"Merle migh' go there righ'? Ya think 'e'll know where we went?"
"Don't."
"Are we gonna look for 'im?"
"Will ya stop?" Daryl said, shaking his head while putting truck in gear, "ya think these assholes gonna spend their time lookin' for Merle? They're glad 'es gone . . ." Daryl sighed and held the steering wheel tight, "Ya can ride with me, fine. Jus' be quiet."
I lowered my eyes to my lap, staring at my hands. My blanket with my possessions was at my feet and my knives were still strapped around my left thigh. Be quiet, don't be annoying.
After leaving Jim, we were on the road for the rest of the day. I didn't say anything to Daryl and he didn't say anything to me either, though I could feel his eyes on me every now and then. I was exhausted, I still hadn't slept since before leaving Jim, and even though my eyelids felt heavy, and I would close them, sleep never came.
In a way I was grateful for it, knowing there was no way I'd escape the nightmares. I glanced at my hand on my lap, flipping it over, palm up to inspect it. I made a fist and and relaxed my hand, then repeated that several times. I had held onto that knife for so long, and so hard it still felt like it was there. Thinking about my time under the RV, I could feel the sensation of the knife being plunged into the skull of that corpse, I could feel the way that soft skull collapse under the impact.
It was a weird sensation, it wasn't too pleasant and it made me feel nauseous. I had killed things before while hunting. But it was never out of fear, never to defend myself against something that threatened my life, and never so close. Daddy taught me archery, that was something I was good at for a while, the only thing I had trouble with, was pulling the string back on my own. Sometimes I could do it, but mostly Daddy helped.
Killing something so close, with my own hand instead of a long ranged weapon like my slingshot or bow was a strange feeling, almost sickening. The sound and the way the impact vibrated through my knife into my hand made my stomach churn. Which I found weird considering I didn't regret it, I had to do it, it was trying to bite me. And remembering Marcus, Jim, Amy, made me regret it less. I only wished I was more able to do it on my feet, the only reason I was able to kill that corpse was because we were both on the ground.
I'd be dead otherwise.
It was getting pretty dark and I wondered if we would keep going, or stop for the night. My question was answered when my body jerked forward, the truck came to a halt. I watched as Dale came out of the RV. Glenn, Shane, Rick, and Lori came into sight as well. They talked with each other for a few minutes before Daryl hopped out to join them.
We were parked in front of a one-floor building, it was long and had dark coloured bricks. There was a sign and I was sure if I read it, I'd know exactly what the building used to be for. But I didn't even bother giving it a second glance, though I was curious.
I watched as Daryl, Glenn, Rick, T-Dog, and Shane suddenly separated from the group, heading toward the entrance of the building. When they got to the entrance they paused. I could see Daryl was the closest and I guessed he was trying to break the lock that may be there.
The doors opened and the four men disappeared inside. I suddenly felt really nervous and opened the door to get out. I went and stood by the RV, away from the others while we waited.
Carl was standing with Sophia, he turned around and caught my eye. When he did, he waved and I immediately looked away. Ten minutes later, Daryl and the others came out of the building.
"It's clear," Shane said, when they got close to the group.
Rick nodded beside him, "most of the building is blocked off, we only have access to one hallway. Which is more than enough."
"Someone barricaded the other hallways, we don't know what's on the other side." Glenn explained.
"Thank God for whoever did, I ain't interested in what they were holdin' off." T-Dog scoffed, "I say we leave them 'em be, don't got a reason to get ourselves killed playin' interior designer."
"Is it safe?" Carol asked.
Shane responded, "it's secure, it'll hold up."
"As long as nothing interferes, we'll need to keep quiet tonight." Rick said.
"Well, let's get what we need," Dale said, "get settled, we should leave early tomorrow."
"In the morning we can see what supplies we can scavenge before leaving. Alright, get what you need and we'll head in," Shane instructed.
Everyone obeyed, going to their cars. Dale and Glenn went to the RV. I found myself wondering again where Andrea was. Daryl started toward the truck, when he passed me I followed him. He swung his crossbow over his shoulder as he reached into the back of the truck where the motorcycle was.
As he pulled a bag out, I went around the truck to the passenger side. I had left the door open so I went in and grabbed my rolled up blanket. I slammed the door shut and walked toward the building.
Everyone was already headed toward the entrance except for Daryl. He held his crossbow and his bag, staring at the ground a few feet away from the truck. He looked up, and when he saw me he went he followed everyone else.
He waited.
I hurried, doing my best to catch up to him. When I did, I stayed close behind him, practically stepping on his heels. He glanced behind him at me once, but didn't say anything.
When we were inside, Glenn and T-Dog were leading the group with flashlights. The hallways were dark and it didn't make me feel all that positive about this place. Looking at the group in front of me, I finally saw Andrea walking beside Dale.
I wasn't sure how I was able to tell, but from the tiling on the floor, the posters on the walls, I guess we were in a school. The tiling were similar, though not entirely the same as my own school.
Down the hall we were walking, each door we passed was opened. I guessed it was because they were checking for corpses. When we passed another, I peered into the room. The rooms were darker but I could vaguely make out the outlines of desks.
I looked up at Daryl as we walked, I opened my mouth to ask him if I was right, but immediately thought better of it.
Be quiet, don't be annoying.
I kept my eyes up, staying close to Daryl as we followed behind the others. We passed another hallway but when I looked down I could see it was blocked. There were desks, chairs, boxes and many other things piled together in a way that didn't seem possible. I blinked at it, then noticed the light dimming as the group walked further.
As we continued, I slowed my pace as we passed a body. I saw the feet first and slowly kept walking, seeing more of it.
"Don't look," I heard Carol tell Sophia. But I looked.
I stopped when I got sight of the body's head. My breath caught in my throat, I wasn't even sure if it was a head. It was a mess of blood, bones and small chunks of flesh I assumed had been its brain. I my jaw had practically fallen off at the sight, I wondered why I hadn't caught the smell until that moment, but the wound itself was fresh. It was hard to tell whether the side that had been bashed in was the back of it's head, or it's face.
I practically jumped out of my skin when my shoulder was grabbed, pushing me forward roughly. I would've cried out if I hadn't heard his voice.
"I's dead," Daryl told me firmly as he pushed me onward. I swallowed, trying to suppress the fear in me. I clutched my blanket tighter, I could feel the objects I had hidden between the folds. It comforted me a little.
Don't be a baby, you seen plenty of dead things before, I scolded myself. It ain't no different.
We reached the end of the hallway and I saw Glenn and T-Dog's flashlights on a set of double doors.
"We're gonna hold up in the Cafeteria tonight, we cleared it out." Rick informed us quietly.
T-Dog and Glenn stood at the side of the door while Rick and Shane went in. The doors were loud and startled me at first. After we followed Rick and Shane in, T-Dog and Glenn followed behind, shutting the doors and shining the light in.
The room was fairly large. The far side of the room had windows all along the one wall, and even though it was night, it gave some light. Making the Cafeteria brighter than the hallways had been. There were several tables with benches spread out across the room. On the left side of the room, where the light didn't really shine, there was a closed door. One of the benches had been placed right in front of it.
"Dale," Shane addressed, "how many of those lanterns you got again?"
"Three, I think one's batteries are dying."
"I have batteries," Glenn told him.
"Alright, let's get some light and everyone can get settled. We checked the hall and the rooms, but I think we can all agree we should keep someone on watch. We can go in shifts." Shane said.
"I'll take the first shift," Glenn said, I don't think I could sleep anyway."
Rick took a step toward Glenn, "once you start feeling tired just wake me up, I'll take over."
Shane nodded, "and I'll take over if you need me to after, Rick."
Everyone spread out, getting into a place to settle and getting out their blanket and pillow, anything they had to sleep. I passed two tables walking away from the door and stopped at another. I sat on the bench and out my blanket on the table, placing my chin on it as if it was a pillow and watched what everyone was doing.
Dale had set up three small lanterns, each spread out on a different table. Most people were lying down, trying to get settled on the floor.
After hours of holding it off, it was becoming hard to fight sleep. I hadn't actually slept since before the camp got overrun. How long has it been? Two nights? Yes, this was the second night. I lifted my head from my blanket and rubbed my eyes. The light seeping shining through the windows was much brighter, it was almost dawn.
I was tempted to let myself sleep, I was starting to not even care about waking the others up or getting a nightmare. I just wanted to sleep. But the stiff feeling in my legs from being in the truck all day, to sitting on this bench for the last couple hours, was becoming unbearable.
I groaned. No matter how much I stretched or kicked my legs under the table it provided no comfort. It was almost painful how much I wanted to move around.
This was actually another reason I didn't go to school that much. I could be patient, I could be quiet, but I could not sit in the same place for hours and hours on end. It was insufferable, the feeling of being confined. There were times I asked to go to the bathroom just to walk down the halls or even just to stand up. But half the time the teachers just told me to hold it.
Glenn had settled down hear the doors of the Cafeteria, sitting up against the wall. But his head was to the side, eyes closed, he had fallen asleep. He must've fallen asleep before getting a chance to wake Rick.
I clenched my fists on the table, looking everyone over as I bounced both legs. The action became erratic and I wanted to scream, my shoes on the floor made sounds as my actions sped up. I ran my hands through my hair pulling it slightly. I wanted to be outside, at home, at our last camp, anywhere. I must've been overtired, I was so exhausted but I felt as if there was energy burning through me.
As soon as the first chirp of a bird outside echoed in my ears, I swung my legs out of the bench, having enough. I went toward the double doors, trying my best to be slow and quiet, making sure not to wake anyone. Anxiety filled me as I passed Glenn, watching him closely. He seemed fast asleep as I reached for the door.
I opened one of the doors slightly, relieved to hear it didn't creak, I tried not opening it too much in case it changed its mind. When the door was open, I slid myself into the small gap, then closed it behind me slowly.
Once I turned away from the door, the smell of rotting flesh filled my nostrils. I placed a hand over my mouth again and groaned.
Didn't think this through very well.
I tried to ignore it the best I could, I jogged past the rotting corpse. Moving my legs and being able to move provided a sense of relief, it was nice being away from the group too. Even when they were sleeping, I didn't feel right around them. Even after so much time, nothing had eased my discomfort, and knowing now what they had known for a long time . . . that didn't make things any easier.
I felt uneasy being alone in the dark hall. It wasn't about being alone, but more of where I was. I tried reassuring myself they had checked everything, that it was safe. I decided if I found any close doors I would leave them be.
I lifted my hand from my mouth, placing it on my left thigh, feeling the edge of my knife holster. It made me feel better, even though I couldn't do much with it.
I approached a room with the door open and peered in. The room wasn't as large and didn't have as many windows. Looking around, it was obviously a classroom, but it was very empty. There were only a couple desks, one of which had been turned over, I knew right away that some desks were missing. The room was too large to have so little. I then remembered the barrier someone or someones had built in the other hallway, that was where those desks went.. At the back of the room, to my left, were a row of hooks along the wall.
I approached the hooks, walking alongside them, inspecting the couple things that had been left behind by others. There were a couple caps and sweaters, and finally, a bag. I stopped in front of the bag, it was hard to tell but it looked like a dark green colour, the hem on the seems a light brown. It was a buckled flap that fastened the backpack, I reached for it and undid the buckle, holding the flap up. I saw that which held the bag closed under the buckle, was a drawstring, it wasn't properly tied, but pulled together tightly. Holding the flap up with my hand, I pulled open the backpack, it was much too dark but there were things inside.
I glanced at the windows, then back at the bag. I took it off of it's hook and went closer to the light from outside, looking into the bag.
Just as I reached in to pull out what was inside, a voice startled me and I yelped, dropping the bag.
"What are you doing in here?"
I stared at Shane, my mouth as wide as my eyes. I was trying to think of some explanation but I didn't have one. I felt scared and cornered, not sure what to do or say. Although, I wasn't even sure if I could speak.
"You know better than to go off on your own," he said, he was angry, trying to yell while trying to whisper at the same time. It wasn't working for him very well. "How many times do we need to talk about this?!"
None, I thought. Shane was silent, waiting for my reply as that thought came to mind. My shock and fear dissipated and my anger returned. What makes him think he can tell me what to do? What makes him think I give a shit?
I knew the answer to those questions, and it just pissed me off more. It was because I was the kid, and he was the adult, a cop no less. It wasn't that he thought I cared about what he had to say, it was because I didn't have a choice. As long as these people were going to have me around I had to listen and do what I was told. I was okay with it, I hated it but I knew how it worked. I just hated it had to be him. I didn't want it to be any of them. Daryl I didn't mind as much, he was different, he also didn't seem to care so much. I couldn't imagine him doing what Shane was at that moment.
My shocked stare turned to a glare, I knew it wouldn't help my case so I looked down, trying to hide my anger. Hiding it was the last thing I wanted to do, I wanted to throw my anger into his face, actually I wanted to throw just about anything at his face.
I found it strange I wasn't scared at all, I understood my anger, but I knew what being in trouble meant, what just might happen. That was why I wasn't going to make things worse by back talking. Why did he always drag everything out? Couldn't we just get it over with? It always seemed like he was saving the beating, I thought it was because we were waiting for Daddy, but now that obviously wasn't the case.
He had told me he wasn't going to do that to me, but why wouldn't he? I had given him enough reason. There was no way he was going to yell and walk away every time. To be honest it was starting to frighten me more than the actual beating, though I was relieved for it. It just felt like I was waiting for it, like he was just waiting for a better time.
This might just be that better time.
"Are you even listening to me?"
Oh, shit he was talking. Oops. I turned my head to the side, still not looking at him, trying to ignore his presence. He rubbed his forehead with his thumb and index finger, sighing in frustration.
"Why am I even trying? Do you do this on purpose, huh? To come back on me or something? 'You lied to me so screw you'? Is that why you keep doing this? You're going to get yourself killed."
I looked up at him slightly, squinting my eyes angrily. His hands were on his hips, eyes wide, once again waiting for a response that would never come.
I considered holding a blank expression like I often tried, but I was too angry. Shane could obviously see it, hell, I felt so angry I felt as if it was radiating off of me, he could probably feel it.
"You don't like me," he said, running a hand through his hair, "I get that. I didn't make anything easier for you either, and you're angry. I know that. That's fine, you go ahead and be angry, but going off on your own, especially with what we've been through isn't going to do anything."
When he stepped forward, I stepped back, raising my head all the way up. I glared the best I could, though I wasn't sure how effective it would be. I know I didn't have the same effect Merle's glare did, if I did, maybe Shane would've left me alone.
Shane sighed then came forward more, crouching in front of me. "I make you feel like you wanna slap me upside the head, I'll tell you what, girl, you feel that need, you go right ahead. I'm right here."
I stared at him, confused, my eyes still squinted. Shane just stared expectantly his head tilted.
Wait, what? "Huh?"
"Let loose some of that anger, I know you wanna do it, and hell if I don't deserve it. Go on, hit me."
My anger faltered, replaced by downright bewilderment. "You're . . . You're serious?"
Shane almost looked offended, "Yeah! Go on, hard as you can."
I unclenched my fists and just stared at him, blinking. He gave me a nod, as if encouraging me. Hesitantly, I reached up, lightly tapping the side of his head.
Shane rolled his eyes, "oh, come on, you can hit harder than that. Like you mean it!"
I bit my lip, I wasn't sure if I should do what he said, or if this was some kind of test. Would I get yelled at afterwards? I waited for Shane to announce the joke was over, but he didn't. Instead he just waited patiently and it didn't seem as if I was getting out of this.
I brought my right hand up then whacked him hard at the side of his head. After my hand hit him, Shane threw himself to the floor, groaning in pain. It was easy to tell his actions were greatly exaggerated, his reaction was much too delayed.
Shane was smiling slightly, trying to hide it as he held the side of his head, "ow, oh that really hurt."
With Shane still on the floor exaggerating his reaction, a smile broke onto my face. I pressed my lips tight together trying not to laugh at him.
"Ouch, that was good one." Shane started to pick himself up, stumbling slightly. I laughed a little at him, and he looked up at me. "Who knew such tiny hands were packing heat?"
Shane got up, back into his crouched position as he rubbed the side of his head, "think you may have cracked my skull."
"No I didn't!" I laughed harder and he stuck his bottom lip out in a pout.
He laughed a little and smiled again, "guess I asked for it didn't I?" He stared at me, still smiling. He ran his tongue over his chapped lips and glanced behind his at the doorway, then turned back to me.
"You should do that more."
"Hit you?" I asked smiling, still confused.
"No," he chuckled, "smile."
That was when reality hit me, my smile seemed to die in that moment. I looked away from him. It was as if in the last few moments everything that had happened escaped my mind, only for it to hit me in the face like a brick once again. My anger was gone, but I felt sad and a little disappointed with myself.
Daddy was gone, possibly dead, same with Merle. Amy was dead, we had left Jim behind to turn into a walking corpse. And we were laughing. I was supposed to be mad at Shane, at everybody, but it seemed I didn't have the energy at that moment.
"Listen . . . Toby," he said, and my eyes met his again, "that's your name, right?"
I hesitated, then nodded, deciding it didn't matter anymore.
Shane gently placed his hand on my arm, giving it a little squeeze, "I'm sorry. About your dad . . . I should've told you. I was just hoping I'd be wrong. I didn't want to tell you, but I should've. I screwed up. You . . . we have to remember how dangerous it is out there now, what it's like, with the Walkers. What happened at our camp, it's much worse in other places. We don't know what happened to your dad, just because he didn't show . . . that doesn't mean he didn't try."
He's not dead. I wanted to say, but I stopped myself. The way Shane was talking, it was easy to say he was just trying to make me feel better, trying to put my mind at ease.
Shane took a deep breath, "You're dad might not be here, but I am. I found you that day and I'll take care of you. But we need to get passed this. I'm not saying you have to forgive me you can be as mad as you want. But we need to work this out a bit, we're going to be together for a while. Just . . . help me out here, so I can help you."
I stared back at him, thinking hard. He wasn't laughing but he wore a small smile, as if trying to reassure me. That was all Shane had ever been trying to do, since the very beginning. He wanted to make me feel better, to reassure me.
I could still be angry but at that moment I wasn't, I nodded my head, returning the small smile he had.
His grin grew and he stood up, "alright then, why don't we get back? Maybe see if we have any pain killers, I seem to have this horrible headache all of a sudden."
My smile got bigger and I almost laughed but stopped myself. I raised my hand to my face, rubbing it as if trying to wipe off my grin.
"Hey," Shane said, poking my cheek. "It's okay to smile, you know? It doesn't mean you forgot about your dad."
I looked down and nodded again, my smile gone. I began to follow him out of the classroom but stopped, "w-wait."
Shane stopped and turned around. I turned and walked toward where I dropped the backpack I found. I picked it up by one of the straps and went back to Shane.
"What you got there?"
"Found it," I shrugged.
He nodded, "come on, I have something for you when we get back."
Once we stepped out of the classroom and into the hall, we both froze at a sound. The sound was quiet and distant, but echoed through the halls. It was a distant rattling, maybe tapping, and an occasional scraping of metal against metal.
Shane looked down the hall opposite to the Cafeteria and began to follow the noise, I followed after him. When Shane stopped, it was to peek around the corner where the hallway broke off into two different directions. I looked too, seeing it was the hallway with the barrier.
The barrier seemed to shaking, rocking slightly. We exchanged fearful looks, knowing very well what might be lurking on the other side. Shane put a hand on my back, pushing me back the way we had come.
Once again I followed him down the hall, this time toward the Cafeteria. Shane was taking long powerful strides, obviously in a hurry.
When we reached the double doors to the Cafeteria, Shane pushed one open, not bothering to try and keep quiet. Walking in I could see, Glenn, T-Dog, and Daryl were up. Those men, along with Rick, looked to the door wide eyed. When they realised it was Shane they went about their own business.
T-Dog and Glenn were talking in hushed voices, Daryl was shoving his sleeping bag into his bag, and Rick was kneeling over Lori, shaking her awake.
"Rick," Shane called quietly, "come here a sec."
Lori started to sit up in her sleeping bag and Rick pressed his lips to her forehead before going to Shane.
When Rick got close he glanced at me, "found her alright?"
"Huh?" Shane looked down at me, as if just remembering I was there, "oh, yeah. She-uh, she was just trying to find a bathroom. I need to tell you something though."
Rick nodded and Shane motioned with his hand for Rick to lean forward. Shane leaned in close to Rick's ear murmuring something. Rick pulled his head back when he was done.
"You're sure?"
Shane nodded, "it may still hold just fine, but we have no idea how many of them could be back there, can't risk it."
"Do you think we should get everyone out?"
"I don't want anyone to panic, and we still need to scavenge the rooms before we leave. See what we can find. I'd feel better having most of our manpower with us when we do that. If we send everyone else out, someone needs to be with them. The women don't know how to use the guns to protect the kids, Andrea is . . . dealing with stuff."
"What do you suggest then?" Rick asked.
"Keep them in here for now, close the doors. Have one man buy the barrier to keep an eye on it while the rest of us look for supplies. We need to check the office, they might have some medical supplies in there, maybe one of the rooms we cleared was a nurses office. We can't leave until we at least check it out."
"You're right, we can get Glenn to watch the barrier. He's quick on his feet, if something happens he can come running."
"Okay," Shane agreed, "We should keep quiet about this though. If they panic they'll rush out, that happens, could make too much noise. We can't risk riling them up."
"Who? Us or them?"
Shane shrugged, "either."
Rick nodded again, claiming he'd talk to Glenn.
Shane ushered me away, we passed a couple tables before stopping at a laid out sleeping bag, beside it was a bag. Shane crouched over the bag and dug through it, he turned to me when he found what he was looking for.
"Here," he said, holding the object out to me. The backpack was strung over my one shoulder and I almost dropped it when I realized what he was holding.
"Found it when I was packing up, thought it might be yours. Am I right?"I hadn't even realized I'd forgotten it.
I reached forward, wrapping my hand around the slingshot. I held on to it tightly, holding it close to my chest. I nodded at him.
"Thought so. Just don't play with it, alright? Don't want noone getting hurt. While we're on the subject . . . any chance maybe we can put the knives away?"
I glanced down at my leg, then back at him, "they are away."
"I meant . . . take them off. I know you're not going to throw them at anyone but some may feel uncomfortable. If you want I can hold on to them-" Shane began to reach out but I stepped back.
"-No."
He nodded, giving up a lot quicker then expected. "Alright, maybe you can use that bag you found, huh? I'm not going to force you but I'm asking nicely. Why don't you go sit down, some of us are going to look around, see what supplies we can get."
"Okay."
I turned away and began walking. I stopped when I saw Daryl who was watching me closely, a short distance away. He walked toward me.
"Where were ya?"
I opened my mouth but closed it, afraid to answer. Be quiet, don't be annoying. I wasn't even sure if I should answer, so after a moment I just shrugged.
"She was just looking for a bathroom, she's fine," I heard Shane say behind me. I glanced behind me at him and he nodded at me before walking in the direction of Rick and some of the other men.
When I turned back to Daryl, he was watching Shane with narrowed eyes. He looked back at me with a firm gaze. The silence was long and awkward, I wasn't sure if I should talk, or if he was going to, or if I should just walk away.
"Tha's bullshit," he said simply.
I furrowed my eyebrows, a little confused. Rick then called out to Daryl for him to join them. At first Daryl just stared me down, as if he hadn't even heard Rick call him. His expression as usual was unreadable, but seemed a little hard. Then he turned away without a word.
Did I make him mad? I questioned, I didn't think I did anything. I hadn't even been around him since we got to the Cafeteria last night.
As I watched Daryl walk away, I saw that he had passed Shane. Shane stopped at one of the tables nearby, nudging Lori's shoulder. She was sitting at the table with her back to him. They were kind of far away but it was very quiet in the room so I could hear.
"Lori, can you keep an eye on Toby for me?"
Lori turned to him, confused, "huh?" Then she glanced in my direction and realised, "yes, of course."
He gave her a nod and walked away.
I looked around, trying to think of where to go. I saw Andrea, I didn't see her face but I recognised her blonde hair and curls. Her head was down on the table, her arms wrapped around her.
I went to the table where my blanket was, I sat on the bench and placed my slingshot on the table along with the bag I found. Now that it was brighter, with the sun rising, I could see the green was more of a khaki green.
I opened the bag, peering in once again.
"Hey."
I looked up across the table, seeing Carl. He was rubbing his eyes, obviously just waking up.
He came closer, "what're you doing?"
I looked away from him and back at the bag, "stuff." I answered, lifting the bag upside down, pouring the contents out. The contents fell onto the table.
Carl's eyes widened, "what's that?"
"Things," I answered vaguely, not in the mood for talking but I didn't want to get that sad look from him if I ignored him. Carl sat at the table across from me, looking down at what fell out of the bag.
I saw a small yellow and green cardboard box and picked it up, I was easily able to open the side to see it was filled with crayons. I pulled a couple out, seeing most were dull and broken. I put the box to the side when I put the crayons back in.
There was a small but thick book. I picked it up and skimmed through the pages, it was a colouring book. A lot of the pages were scribbled on and coloured in, some were even ripped a little
"Is all this yours?"
"Found it," I answered. My eyes caught a small plastic baggie, I picked it up, seeing several round crackers were inside.
I glanced at Carl, who was staring at the baggie. I tossed the baggie so it landed in front of him on the table.
"Not hungry?" he asked.
"Nah," I lied. I put the colouring book back into the bag along with the crayons.
I heard Carl rip open the baggie and my stomach clenched. Then one of the round crackers were being held in front of my eyes.
"We can share," Carl offered. I bit my lip and took it from him, nodding as I practically swallowed the cracker whole.
"Dad went to look around with the others," Carl informed me. "I wanted to go to. He said no."
I just watched him talk as we ate.
"I don't get why, they said it was safe. Why can't I just help? I can do stuff too. I'm not some stupid little kid."
"Tha's exactly wha' ya are," I blurted. Carl stared at me, his eyebrows furrowed. I opened my mouth stuttering over my words, "I-I didn' mean anythin' by it . . . I just meant . . . Y'know, I am too. They ain't gonna let us do nothin'."
His expression softened and he looked down at the table. Taking another bite into a cracker.
"I . . . Uh, I don' think you're stupid," I added.
"I don't think you're stupid either. But you're little."
"Shuddup," I said, smiling a little.
I took another cracker from the baggie and shoved it into my mouth. I reached for my rolled up blanket that I had pushed to the side, and without unrolling it I pushed it into the backpack.
Carl sat silently, eating another cracker. I reached under the table and began to undo the knife strap around my thigh. I had it on for a while and it was beginning to feel uncomfortable. I remembered what Shane said a short while before, I didn't want to Risk anyone taking it away from me. When the straps were undone, I took the backpack onto my lap, Carl looked around the room, when he did that I took that as my queue to put my knives into the bag. I didn't think he had noticed them at all yet.
It was hard to get them to fit at first, since the blanket was rolled up and taking up so much space. Later on I planned to take it out and fold it to make it flat, so it wouldn't seem as full.
Carl looked back at the table, about to reach for another cracker, then stopped. "We should save the rest for Sophia."
I nodded at his suggestion. When he saw I agreed he closed the baggie and put it to the side. We sat together in silence for a while. On the very far side of the room, Andrea had not moved at all, but Jacqui had taken a seat beside her, rubbing her back.
Closer to the entrance of the Cafeteria was Lori, she was sitting at a table, her back to us, talking to Carol who sat across from her. Sophia was curled up against her mother, like usual. I found it a little strange how close in contact those two always were. Then again, I found a lot of things strange about these people.
"Let's play a game," Carl suddenly blurted in a hushed voice. I turned my eyes to him to see his eyes brighten with excitement. "We can play explorers."
I scrunched my eyebrows together, "tha' sounds dumb."
"No-no it's not, it'll be fun." he defended, "we can try and find cool stuff, maybe we can help."
I looked around the room, shaking my head, "whad'dya wanna explore? There's nothin' but tables an' chairs."
Carl nodded his chin, motioning behind me, "there, that door."
I turned around, seeing the door I noticed when we first arrived. One of the Cafeteria tables were pushed against it. Seeing how the door was, it opened into the room, not into the Cafeteria, so if it was blocking something, the point seemed moot.
Carl continued as I stared at the door, "I don't think they checked it, that could be a kitchen or something. We can go and look around, see what's in there, show everyone else we can help."
I shook my head, turning back to him to see he was already standing up, "why would we wanna see if there's dead people?"
"If there were dead people we'd already heard them, don't you think? Come on, there could be food," Carl said, walking around the table toward the door.
I stood panicked, glancing from where Lori and Carol were to where Jacqui and Andrea were.
"They ain't gonna let us go," I told him, suddenly whispering.
"They don't have to know."
"Carl," I warned following him, "you're gonna get in trouble."
"It'll be fine, no one's going to be mad if we find food or something."
Carl goes over to where the door and table are and begins to crawl under the table. I whispered his name again in warning, checking on the others to see if they were watching. When I look back at Carl he's reaching through that gap between the bench and the table on the other side, wrapping his hand around the doorknob.
"I-I'm gonna tell," I bluffed. He completely ignored me and turned the doorknob, the was a click and he pushed it open. I put my hands on my head, panicking, not sure what to do. I thought about calling for Lori but I was afraid I would get in trouble to. I chewed on my lip, looking back and forth as Carl crawled through the gap between the table and stood on the other side in the doorway.
Carl glanced at me and our eyes met for a brief moment. As they did, I found myself silently begging while shaking my head; don't do it, don't do it.
"Come on," Carl motioned with his hand before disappearing behind the door.
Damn it!
I glanced back at the women, thinking hard. If they saw Carl was gone and I had just let him go on his own, I would get in trouble, if I followed him in, I'd get in trouble. If I called them over I might just get in trouble.
I climbed over the table rather than under it like Carl, I slipped into the dark room, looking around. It wasn't completely dark. The light from the Cafeteria illuminated the room, along with some windows that were in there.
The place was a mess, there were papers and wrappers scattered across the floor. There was a counter with empty food dishes and I guessed this was where the food was served. Carl was a couple steps away from me examining the counter.
"Carl, we gotta go. There's nothin' 'ere."
Carl peeked around the counter and kneeled down, disappearing from eyes sight. I followed him and stood behind the counter, crouching beside him. Under the counter there were shelves and counters. Carl grabbed something and showed it to me, it was a package of a dozen plastic forks.
"We can use these," he said, not looking at me.
"For wha'? I don' think any of us got any food."
"Look over there," Carl motioned to the cupboards a short distance away. I sighed, aggravated and complied, thinking the sooner we get it over with the sooner we could go back before anyone noticed.
When I reached the cupboards, I noticed the smell of rotting flesh. I glanced around but didn't see anything unusual. The room was empty for the most part. I assumed the smell was coming from the open window. When I looked around I noticed another door behind me, there was an engraved sign on the door but I didn't glance twice at it.
I kneeled down again, checking the cupboards. There were some cardboard boxes that were empty and then I found some paper plates. I opened my mouth to tell Carl, but a clinking, jiggling sound stopped me.
I glanced over at Carl to find he wasn't there, then looked to see him behind me, shaking and twisting the doorknob.
"It's stuck," he complained, pulling at it. I was about to tell him to leave it alone when the door flew open and he stumbled back. A cardboard box fell from the closet along with a mop and broom. Carl froze staring into, what I guessed was a storage closet.
I didn't even have to ask when I heard the familiar low growl of a corpse. Looking in, I saw it, it was sitting down and stumbling to get up, obviously having been there for a while. The smell hit my nose like a brick and I would've gagged if I wasn't scared shitless.
The corpse seemed to give up on standing as it lunged for Carl grabbing onto his leg. I yelped at the sudden movement and Carl screamed for his mom, falling down while trying to pull away. The corpse used the momentum he had on Carl to help pull himself up more.
I reached for my knives only to remember I had taken them off. Panicking, I was looking around as Carl continued his pleas for help and I heard someone from the Cafeteria respond, it sounded like Lori.
I spotted the broom on the floor in front of me. I pushed myself forward to grab onto the broom that fell out of the closet. Holding it by the wooden handle, I brought it up over my head, and slammed the bristled end down on the corpse's back. By the impact of the broom, it fell to the floor again and Carl was able to scramble away.
I brought the broom back up, holding it close in a fighting stance. I began to back away a little as it's dead eyes turned to me, as if just acknowledging my presence.
Okay, yeah, that was really stupid. I thought as the corpse advanced on me, picking itself off the ground. I stared into it's eyes, backing away, shaking as my stomach churned with fear. You'd think it was the smell that would bother me the most, or even the sight of it's skin rotting off it's body. But no, it was those eyes, for whatever reason.
The eyes were dead, milky, foggy, dull. But at the same time, there was a golden tinge, making it seem as if they glowed. No emotion was on their faces as they looked at us with those hungry eyes, just the showing of their teeth as they snarled.
I backed into the wall and I could hear yelling of a couple different voices, but I didn't even bother to look around.
The corpse got closer and I pushed the bristled end of the broom into it's chest, attempting to hold it off. I was glad for their stupidity, the dead man hadn't even thought of maneuvering his body around the broom, or even to push it away with it's hands. No, instead he kept trying to reach me, pushing against the broom.
It was much stronger than me, the end of the broom handle was being pushed painfully into my chest. I pushed the handle to the side until it slammed into the wall. I held the broom handle tightly still pushing against the corpse as much as I could. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it off for much longer.
Suddenly, Rick was there. I wasn't sure when or how he had even gotten there, but he raised his handgun to the corpse's head and pulled the trigger.
The gunshot echoed loudly in the room, making me jump. My ears rang but it didn't bug me yet, I was much too focused on the corpse.
The dead body fell the the ground and I stumbled, losing my balance without the pressure. I held onto the broom tightly, pulling it closer to me while staring at the dead body.
The ringing in my ears began to fade and I could hear the panting of my own, along with the sound of sobbing. I knew right away that it was Carl crying, I looked over briefly to see Lori holding him close.
Tears burned my eyes and I sniffled, don't cry, don't cry, it's dead. I held onto the broom even tighter, if it was possible, attempting to provide some sort of comfort. I had never been one for physical contact, I didn't have a lot of it either. I never understood why Sophia was always curled against her mother, why Lori would stroke the top of Carl's head, or even why Shane would touch or squeeze my shoulder.
I think I was starting to understand, though. Because in that moment, that was all I wanted. Looking around, I saw that the table that was in front of the door had been pushed out of the way. It looked like everyone had returned from looking around the school, they were breathing heavily as if they'd been running.
"The hell's goin' on?" Daryl asked as he ran into the room, looking around. His eyes stopped at me, then down to the dead body.
I saw Shane by the door, staring at me. He wiped some sweat of his brow, looking slightly relieved. I was kind of hoping, for the first time, that he would come to me like he always did and put his hand on my shoulder. To be honest I think I would've welcomed the gesture from anyone at that moment, for some reason, I craved some sort of contact.
I curled my shoulders into myself, trying to give myself the physical contact I wanted. I was practically hugging the broom.
"Are you alright?" Rick asked me.
It took me a few moments to process what he asked me. When I thought about it, I looked up at him, trying to form and answer.
"I-I-I . . . I got a broom."
Rick stared at me for a moment then looked around the room. When his eyes met mine he opened his mouth to speak, but a loud crashing noise in the distance stopped him. Everyone looked to the door and began running out into the Cafeteria.
I followed slowly behind them.
"What was that?!" I heard Carol when we were back in the Cafeteria. Then the double doors flew open revealing Glenn, he slammed the door shut behind him in a hurry.
"It fell!" He yelled, panicking.
"What-what do you mean, what fell?!" Lori asked.
"EVERYTHING!"
Suddenly there was loud banging on the doors, the doors opened a little even though Glenn was doing his best to push the doors closed. That was when I saw hands pushing through the gap in the doors. Glenn yelled then Shane and T-Dog ran to his side, helping hold the door closed.
"How many are there?!" Rick yelled.
"I-I don't know," Glenn stuttered, trying to yell over the many growls we heard, "a lot. They heard the gunshot, what happened?"
Rick bowed his head, rubbing his forehead with his knuckles, still holding the gun.
"The hell were ya thinkin' firing that thing?!" Daryl yelled.
"I wasn't thinking, I was just-"
"-Yeah that's pretty clear," Daryl grunted.
"Stop it," Lori ordered, "you weren't there, you didn't see-"
"-looks like ya didn' see much of anythin' neither, where the hell were you, huh? You were s'posed ta be watchin' them weren't ya?!"
"I didn't see-"
"-This is one room, how could ya not see 'em leave, your kid almost-both of 'em almost got fuckin' eaten! You're a real piece of work, lady, ya know that? You had one fuckin' thing ta do!"
"Yo, can everyone just chill?!" T-Dog yelled, "Don't matter who did what we need to get the hell outta here!"
"The windows, everyone gather what you can and get out through the windows!" Shane yelled, him, T-Dog, and were still pushing against the Cafeteria doors.
Everyone obeyed Shane's order including me. They all scrambled around the room, grabbing what they could. I went to the table me Carl were sitting at, I looked at the broom in my hands and reluctantly placed it on the floor. I grabbed the plastic baggie that still had a couple crackers in it and shoved it into my bag.
Before I could put the backpack over my shoulders Daryl came to my side, roughly pulling me by the arm to the windows. Everyone was either opening another window, or crawling out of one.
Daryl yanked one open with little difficulty and pushed me forward. I threw the backpack out of the window. And began climbing through it.
The window was only a few feet above the ground so I landed on the other side with little difficulty and picked up the backpack to swing it over my shoulder. Everyone who had made it out was now running across the school's front yard toward the cars. When Daryl came out with his bag and crossbow I followed him closely the best I could.
I glanced behind me once when I noticed Glenn, T-Dog, and Shane hadn't made it out. As soon as I looked I saw the tree men scramble out of the windows. When they were out I could see several corpses attempt to follow them, reach out of the windows. But it looked like they weren't exactly sure how to get out.
"Go, go, go!" Shane yelled when they made it out, the three of them began running in the same direction as us.
I followed Daryl to his truck and he opened the drivers and hopped in. I ran around the front of the truck to go to the passenger seat. Once I was in the car Daryl put the car in gear, he waited until the RV in front of his started going before pressing down on the gas pedal.
I placed my backpack on the floor at my feet, and leaned over to look out of Daryl's window as we drove away. Just as we left, some corpses were able to make there way out of the windows. I leaned back into the seat and looked at my hands, they were still shaking. I clenched my fists to try and stop them but it didn't help much, I placed my fists onto my thighs.
The silence in the car was long and awkward, although I didn't notice it at first, I was lost in my own thoughts, still a bit freaked out. It wasn't until Daryl spoke that I did notice.
"You, uh . . . You okay?"
I didn't look at him, instead I turned to the window. I nodded.
"Looked pretty rough there . . ." he continued, "ya find that at the school?"
I looked at him, confused, then in realization I looked down at the backpack at my feet. I nodded again.
"Anythin' useful?"
I began to open my mouth but then pressed my lips together. I shook my head in response, feeling his eyes on me as I stared down at the bag.
Daryl hesitated but spoke again, "you an' Lori's kid, ya friends or somethin'? Don' think I ever seen ya talk to 'im."
I shrugged.
Daryl huffed out a loud breath, "the hell's wrong with ya? You were talkin' jus' fine before."
Hearing the anger in his voice I looked up to see him looking ahead at the road. He turned back to me again, almost growling out his words.
"And what the hell was that with you and Shane, I saw you talkin' to 'im, thought you didn' even like that guy." Daryl looked ahead again, shaking his head. "He say some shit bout me an' Merle again? Whatever he told ya i's bullshit."
I stared at him, completely bewildered, my lips parted in shock as I tried to stutter out an answer, "N-no he didn-"
"Then what the hell are you so quiet for?"
I blinked, confused, "You told me ta be."
Daryl glanced at me briefly eyebrows furrowed, then back out the windshield. "what?"
"Ya said if I was gonna ride with ya I had ta be quiet."
His eyebrows parted in realization as he seemed to relax into his seat. He was quiet for several moments.
After a while he scoffed, "whatever."
I stared at him, confused and not sure if I was supposed to say anything else. When I realized the conversation was over, if that was what that was, I turned away to the window.
Neither of us spoke the rest of the way.