DISCALIMER: I own nothing. Damn it.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: The title is taken from the Police's 'Don't Stand So Close to Me' written, I assume, by Sting.
And no comments about how cliché the song is please, pouts defensively
This is a companion/sequel to Born Too Late, this time from Severus' point of view.
Don't Stand So Close To Me
by Louise
Chapter One: Falling
Severus Snape was not a romantic man but he could tell you the exact moment he fell in love with Hermione Granger.
In a way, the whole thing had started with a conversation with his godson near the end of his sixth year at the school.
"He didn't make me Head Boy," a very sulky Draco Malfoy appeared in Severus' classroom and he knew he wasn't going to get his marking finished after all.
"What are you going to do about it?" Severus asked, gathering his things together and leading Draco into his private quarters and preparing them both some strong coffee.
"I've already done it," and it was clearly spectacular if the look on his godson's face was anything to go by. "I might have just read the entirety of Slytherin house the riot act for my feud with Potter."
"The riot act?"
"Ok," Draco conceded the point; he tended not to loose his temper much any more, after his father pointed out that screaming temper tantrums were not acceptable in sixteen year olds. "But the tide will be turning and come September Granger and I will be Head Boy and Girl."
Severus loved Draco more than he would ever admit, as he liked his cold bastard reputation, thank you very much. Even so, he had not been convinced that Draco could pull off a détente with the Gryffindors, even with some of the groundwork already laid.
That year's NEWT Level Potion's class had gone far better than Severus could ever have predicted. Potter was present but silent, apparently determined to pass and become an Auror and in return for the quiet life, Severus kept the barbed comments to a minimum. Serious talks with his father about the future had left Draco quieter and calmer than Severus had known was possible, and he too kept his head down and worked solidly. Even Hermione Granger was a pleasure to teach, and Potter's diligence allowed her to become the student he had always grudgingly known she could be.
He was both impressed and surprised at the change that Draco and Granger managed to bring about in Gryffindor/Slytherin relations, and he was quick to appreciate the formidable team they would make leading Hogwarts next year.
When their seventh year rolled around, Severus was delighted to be able to kill two birds with one stone and have them carry out their independent study at the same time. At first, he wondered at himself for allowing another student into his private relationship with Draco, but he was quick to appreciate the impact her quick brain and keen wit had on their conversation, and these sessions quickly became the highlight of his teaching timetable.
Eventually, however, the demands on their time became too great, and the study session was broken up, with Hermione now coming to him for three hours every Friday. They had been constrained by a painful politeness at first, each straining to maintain the previous air of cordiality, but feeling the pressure too much for them to have any real success. At last, however, they began to understand each other better, and they talked more freely for it.
She soon began broadening the limits of their conversations to include things outside of the classroom, questioning him about the wider wizarding world, the politics and the society. He in turn encouraged her to describe the muggle world, though he would never actually express his interest in it, rather he bought it up as a comparison to the world he knew, investigating the similarities and differences.
The final step was taken when, one perfectly ordinary Friday evening, she arrived rather than later and, at a mildly caustic remark, turned away meekly, tears in her eyes.
A brief struggle with himself later and Snape stepped forward, laying a hand on her shoulder, "Miss Granger, look at me." It was a command, however gently given, and she obeyed, turning red eyes up to look at him. "Tell me," he commanded.
She flushed slightly as she told him about the tutoring session she had been holding a few hours ago. A couple of months earlier Professor Flitwick had asked her to help a selection of his third years with some charms they were having trouble with, and she had really enjoyed the experience and really liked the pupils. Today, she told him, one of her favourites, Liam was being really uncooperative and disrupting the lesson, showing the sort of behaviour which she had not seen from him before.
"It's just really disappointing," she explained feeling completely stupid to have been upset my something so small, "I suppose I was stupid to make a favourite of him in the first place, but he was so enthusiastic and eager to please that I forgot that he could be difficult and, well, a total pain."
"You're an eighteen year old student Miss Granger, you are not expected to be able to handle difficult students and it is only natural to feel upset when you come up against that sort of resistance. That said, if you hope to teach in the future, try to learn from this. It is foolish to make favourites of adolescents, they will not appreciate the time you put into working with them, nor will they repay your fondness with consideration. You need to learn to distance yourself from your students."
The words were so firmly spoken and so clearly contradicted by his interaction with Draco during their private study sessions that she could not help the smile that spread over her face, smiling at both the humour and the reassurance that she found in his words.
He had seen her smile before, of course. She would break in to fond smiles whenever she saw Harry and Draco dancing around each other in sweet uncertainty. A wistful smile would sometimes cross her face when Ron and Pansy walked into the hall completely absorbed with each other. A smile of sheer mirth would cross her face at the antics of Seamus or Dean as they opened their newest purchases from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Then there was the smile of pure contentment that would slip onto her face when she was immersed in something she loved, be it working on some particularly complex concept in class, or surrounded by her two best friends.
So yes, he had seen her smile before, but never had that smile been directed at him. Never had so free an expression flooded her face when she looked at him, talked to him. And before it, he crumbled, weakened, let her in.
And suddenly there she was, in his private quarters and in his life, slotted into the gap that seemed made for her to fill.
So no, Severus Snape was not a romantic man but, looking back, he could tell you the exact moment he fell in love with Hermione Granger. It was when she smiled at him.
End of Chapter One
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