'I said MIDNIGHT BLUE, NOT NAVY BLUE! YOU IDIOT!'

Wormtail cowered as Voldemort jabbed at his robes to emphasise his mistake.

'I'm sorry my Lord, but they were just so similar.'

The surrounding Death Eaters shuffled uncomfortably, whilst they watched the exchange with interest.

'Wormtail…Peter, what does Navy rhyme with?'

'Err…baby?'

'Yes, well done, baby is correct. Now, do you see why I can't wear navy blue? Baby Blue? I AM THE DARK LORD! I CANNOT PRANCE AROUND IN ROBES WHICH SOUND LIKE ANOTHER WORD FOR 'INFANT,' IT JUST DOESN'T FIT WIYTH MY EVIL PERSONNA!'

All eyes were on Wormtail, who nodded mutely.

'Good, now, I shall pass the task of organising my wardrobe to Lucius. I too, hope to achieve the, 'look at me, I look as if I've been sucking on a lemon all day, bet you can't do that,' look that he has perfected. Believe me, it was a close call between you and Severus.' Added Voldemort, as Snape snorted. 'But in the end, I decided that 'evil glare level 3' would suit interrogation purposes and torture just fine.' Severus clenched his jaw. No one would ever achieve his evil glares.

'Now, you must be wondering why I summoned you all to this meeting.'

cricket chirping

'And the answer is that I have founded a company.' With no reaction from his audience, Voldemort continued. 'Not just any company, Oh No! A Birthday Company!'

Still, no reaction occurred, Voldemort looked towards Bellatrix for some sign of support.

'Birthday surprises that's what we give!

If you don't accept, then you don't live! WOOHOO!'

She finished her little rhyme by shaking 2 black pompoms under Snape's nose.

'Yes, Bellatrix is right! We shall deliver presents to Wizards and muggles alike, killing them if they don't accept them, thus spreading our influence through both worlds, and making people addicted to the services we provide! They will be powerless to stop our reign of evil, they will crave our presents so much, that they will not wish us to be destroyed!' Voldemort erupted into a fit of maniacal laughter, and, judging by Nott's watch, it lasted for 5 minutes.

Snape was the first to break the unnerving silence, in which the group found themselves in.

'This is ridiculous.'

Voldemort raised a bald, non-existent eyebrow. 'You really think so?'

'Yes, I do.'

'And have you ever considered what the author thinks?'

Snape gave a quick preview of evil glare level 3.

'Well, what is our dear Author's opinion?'

Me: hello! Severus, I have the quill, the parchment and the keyboard, I can make you do anything…now, do you really feel up to arguing with what I see fit to write?

'Of course I do, this is a ridiculous idea…'

Me: Oh ho! Have you forgotten the budding ss/hg FF that I've been drafting? You know…that ship has quite a few fans…

Severus paled, 'Fine…Where's the first job?'

Me: (Pointing to Voldemort) Ask the pale dude.

Growling, Snape turned to Voldemort. 'Where's the first job?'

Clapping, and jumping up and down on the balls of his feet, Voldemort replied, 'Her name's Ferpocel, (AKA Ferpotter) you'll find her in Brazil, 'present's in the garden. Off you pop!'

And with that, Snape apparated, taking Wormtail, Lucius and Bellatrix with him.

Voldemort: So…ya know, It's a hard job been a Dark Lord…I really need a comfy seating arrangement so that my back doesn't 'go', I am in my 60's…wink wink

Me: (smile) Lord Voldemort sat proudly on a silver chair, with green, velvet cushioning, and black drapes surrounding him. A foot rest stood next to the ornate piece of furniture, its' four silver legs, each moulded into four serpents…

Voldemort: Thanks

Me: No problem…

AN: Next chapter, sees a present sent to Ferporcel! Sorry about the late update!