Shout out to former user: BadLanguage. If you're reading this I can't message you or find your stories. Wondering if you deleted your account or changed your name. PM me if possible.
"Climb down outta my asshole, man. That's all I know." Daryl told Dale.
Everything had been packed and we were ready, Lori and Carl were already in the RV.
After they first arrived, Dale took time to absorb the situation, then shot several questions to Daryl that he couldn't answer.
Dale seemed really unsure, he kept looking around as if battling with himself. One of the things he had questioned Daryl on, was whether or not they should go or when. The whole situation was confusing and practically unbelievable. I didn't have a reaction myself, I thought it over in my head several times.
Sophia was shot, Sophia was shot.
Still nothing, they only seemed like words. It didn't feel real, maybe that was why it didn't bug me, I wondered if I would feel differently once I saw her. I knew I had to go where the group went, but I was skeptical, the last two places we went to did not work out, three if I counted the school.
"Maybe they'll have some meds to spare," T-Dog mumbled. He was leaning against the RV, looking at Dale and cradling his arm.
"Huh?" Daryl reacted.
"T-Dog's cut has gone from bad to worse," Dale explained, "he has a very serious blood infection. If we don't get some antibiotics in him soon, he'll die, no joke. We haven't found anything but Ibuprofen."
Daryl looked over at T-Dog, before shaking his head and stepping away toward his bike, "why the hell did you wait 'til now to say anything?"
Dale watched Daryl in confusion as he unzipped on of the bags strapped to the bike. He pulled out a large plastic, clear bag I recognised instantly. The bag was filled with pill bottles.
Dale stepped toward him, surprised.
"Got my brothers stash." Daryl opened the bag and rifled through it, looking at numerous bottles, "Crystal, X. Don't need that. Got some kick ass pain killers," Daryl then tossed a bottle at T-Dog.
T-Dog caught the bottle and looked down at it in his hands.
Daryl kept searching through, until he picked up a bottle with a satisfying label, he held it out to Dale. "Oxycycline, not the generic stuff niether, it's first class. Merle got the clap on occasion."
"Gross," Glenn commented.
I narrowed my eyes at the pill bottle in Dale's hand, confused. Obviously I knew that word, everyone did. But from the way Daryl used it and Glenn's reaction, it was easy to tell it had a different meaning than the one I knew. Not to mention what pills would have to do with it.
Afterwards, while Daryl went to start his bike the rest of us got into the RV. Dale drove and Glenn took the passenger seat again. T-Dog laid himself on the couch and Guillermo was sitting at the table, staring down at it with a blank expression. I slid myself into the booth, sitting across from him. He made no sign he even noticed any of us had gotten inside. My bag was slung over my shoulder and I dropped it into the seat beside me.
I didn't see Carl or Lori, I looked toward the bed area of the RV, the curtain closing off that area was pulled out. I guess Lori was talking to Carl about something again. I had a weird feeling in my chest, feeling bad. I guessed Carl was pretty upset about what was going on.
Third POV
Shane was standing in the kitchen of the Greene home, looking down at the kitchen table where a map had been laid out. He was listening for a few good minutes as Rick and the large man discussed the plan. The man had given his name, Shane had heard it more than once, but it still hadn't stuck with him, for that time being, he was just the man that shot Sophia.
Shane tried to keep focus, but soon rationalized that until there was some kind of plan, there was no point. He didn't know the area, or anything about the high school they would have to raid, and as far as the large man knew, the place was overrun with the dead. So until he had an idea of how to do what they needed to do, his mind wandered.
According to the older man, Hershel, who was a veterinarian, had listed off the things needed in order to retrieve the broken up bits of bullet embedded in Sophia's flesh. One of the bits, Hershel suspected, was dangerously close to her spine. The medical supplies he named Shane knew nothing of, neither did Rick, the only things they understood was IV and anesthesia. The Large Man claimed to have done some medical volunteering of some kind, it had already slipped Shane's mind what he had done specifically. But he knew exactly what they would be looking for, what the supplies looked like, and feeling responsible for shooting the girl, which Shane thought angrily that he most certainly should, he volunteered to go with them.
In Shane's perspective, Rick had already forgotten who had really pulled the trigger. They were best friends, had been for years, he could tell he was drowning in guilt, blaming himself. Once Hershel, and the Large Man's wife, Patricia stated that Sophia needed a blood transfusion Rick gave no hesitation before rolling up his sleeve and announcing his blood type. Only to be shot down when Carol claimed she didn't know what Sophia's blood type was.
Shane briefly thought back to the CDC, when the doctor had tried to distract Toby, making her feel better by doing that blood type test. That was another thing they would have to look for in order to save Sophia, one of those tests, he forgot what they were called, even though Hershel stated just moments before. Sophia might've gotten hers tested, just as Toby had, until the doctor knocked over the vials and the subject went forgotten.
Toby's blood type, he remembered, was the universal donor type. Though he failed to remember if it was either the O-negative or the O-positive type that could be given to the other types.
He wondered, even waited a little for Rick or Carol to bring it up, offering her up as a blood bag. He felt horrible for thinking that after a few moments, Rick wouldn't do that. It was obvious that the amount of blood Sophia needed, Toby was not able to give. No where close. He wasn't sure about Carol though, she may not give that as much thought, all she wanted to do was save her daughter. But she hadn't said anything about it either. Either she knew it was ridiculous, didn't remember, or plain hadn't given it thought.
Then he wondered if anyone else from the group would mention it once they arrived, but even if they did, Hershel was a smart man. Once he knew Toby's age and saw her size, Shane knew he would shoot that down straight away.
Shane hoped that by then, Glenn and the others made it back to the highway and they were on the way to them. He kept looking toward the windows, hoping they would get there before they left. Maybe then they would have more volunteers, maybe then, Shane wouldn't have to go.
He kept thinking about it, he wanted to help and save Sophia. But having him and Rick leave Lori, Carl and Toby did not sit right with him at all. As soon as he thought of Lori and Carl, Shane attempted to push them from his mind, they weren't for him to worry about, but Rick didn't seem to be thinking of them. Of course, the others in the group, and those of the Greene household would be with them, they would be safe. But that did little to comfort him, he wasn't even sure if the RV had been fixed or when they would arrive.
He tried to focus on Toby, to only be worried about her. Lori wanted nothing to do with him, and Toby didn't seem to see Shane in the brightest light, though Shane didn't see her having many options. She needed someone to worry about her. Rick, Carl, and Lori could all worry about each other.
Then he remembered that morning, how Carl had insisted that they go with them to search for Sophia. Rick had wavered, thinking it over. Shane was sure he was going to say yes, and if he let Carl go along, why keep Toby back? Then Daryl had said his piece, seeming to make Rick think a bit harder. Shane hated to admit that Daryl had been the smarter one in that decision, he hated how he would've let Toby go with him, to take the opportunity to be around her more. He hated how Daryl had been smarter, he wanted to be the one to make the right decisions for her, to be a parent like he had briefly been to Carl.
He wasn't even sure if they were okay, if maybe there was more trouble than just the RV.
Shane finally concluded it would do him no good to think of the hundreds of scenarios that could happen to the others before arriving, he couldn't get out of this. If it was Toby or Carl in that bed there would be no hesitation. Carol was in no shape to do anything, and he would never ask her to leave her daughter, especially when she had the chance to slip away while they were gone. Even if she wanted to go, there was no way they would let her. Not just because he was sure she never held a gun before, but because Sophia needed her mother. Sophia had been unconscious the entire time they were there, there was a few minutes she woke up screaming as Hershel dug into her back, retrieving the shallowest bullet fragment.
"Shane?"
Shane looked over at Rick, pulling himself out of his thoughts.
"You good?"
Shane nodded, "yeah, let's do this. Quicker we get out there, quicker we can get back."
Toby's POV
"You think that's it?" I heard Glenn ask. I turned my head to the front seats, Dale was looking off at something in the distance. I looked out the window at the table I was sitting at, a far distance away, but not too far that I couldn't see, there was a large white house. We were at an angle where we were viewing the house from the side, so we could see what was behind it just fine. There was one small shaped building that I guessed was some shed. But as we got closer I could make out the fence around it and a few small moving creatures around it.
My eyes widened when I realised they were chickens. There was also a barn far behind the house. There was also another building which was longer, with a fence around it, though I wasn't sure what could possibly be there.
I briefly thought over the possibilities of what else could be there. Horses? Pigs? I had seen horses on TV and riding in the car, but I never got close to one.
"Must be," Dale answered.
The sky was pretty dark, I was surprised that another day passed. I still found it hard to believe about Sophia, it felt like she was around still, maybe riding in another car.
"There's a gate. I'm going to pull over, you go open it and I'll drive on in, close it behind us."
"Yeah," Glenn said, as the RV halted. He got out of the RV and we waited a few moments before we started moving again. I watched out of the window beside me as we drove through an opening in the fence, before we stopped again.
Glenn got back inside and went to sit on the arm of the couch T-Dog was lying on rather than back to his seat.
I guessed he did that because we were so close. When the RV started moving again, it stopped again a minute later, but this time Dale turned the ignition, turning the engine off.
Glenn nudged T-Dog, helping him up. Glenn looked at me briefly, "could you go get Lori?"
I watched Glenn and T-Dog until they were out, delaying his request as much as possible. I glanced at Guillermo I noticed he had switched his gaze from to table to the window, but I wasn't sure when he had done that.
When he didn't move or say anything I stood up, making my way to the back of the RV. I paused at the curtain, wondering if I should somehow announce my presence. I listened for a moment, but didn't hear them talking or anything. So I opened the curtain to see them sitting on the end of the bed, Lori's arm was around Carl.
They stared at me expectantly, then I realised I would actually have to talk. I opened my mouth, but Lori beat me to it.
"Are we there?"
I held back a sigh of relief and nodded my head. Lori coaxed Carl up and I moved to the side so they could get by me.
"Thank you, Toby," Lori said as she walked out with Carl.
For what? I didn't even say anything . . .
I thought about staying with Guillermo, but I was curious to know what was going on with Sophia. And I knew Daryl would be outside, I heard the motorcycle on the way here and I couldn't hear it now, so I guessed he was off it at that moment.
I went outside, closed the door behind me, then caught up with the group. T-Dog and Glenn were ahead of everybody, Dale and Lori with Carl were behind them. And sure enough, there was Daryl. It seemed really strange to be walking together without Rick and Shane, they were always in the lead, directing the others.
Now everyone seemed hesitant and unsure as we slowly approached the large white house. I glanced behind me to see if Guillermo had gotten out, he didn't.
I followed the others as I looked around. I was surprised I didn't see any Walkers, I kept looking but still didn't see any. I even checked behind me a couple times.
I wondered what we were going to do at this place. Were we just going to get Sophia and the others then leave? Or would we stay? I doubted the latter, it seemed a bit random for us to stay. And other people lived here didn't they? This wasn't our place, would they even let us stay?
Maybe we would just be staying the night. It was already almost completely dark, the moon was out. I guessed it depended on how bad Sophia was. All we knew was that she'd been shot, not where.
But even if she was fine, would it matter? No where we went held out, whether we meant it to or not. If she was okay after this, couldn't something else just happen?
The camp was overrun, that school we stayed at overnight was overrun, then the CDC was . . .
I stopped in my tracks, Oh hell no.
The rest of them kept going and I wondered why no one else seemed that worried. The last place we stayed at blew up, without explanation, at least not one that I was told of.
I looked over at Daryl who was off to the side, spaced out from the others as he walked in the same direction. I rushed over to Daryl and grabbed his sleeve, getting his attention. He stopped and looked down at me, "what?"
I hesitated, his gaze making me nervous. "W-Why did that place blow up?"
"What?" he repeated. After a moment, his expression changed and he seemed to understand what I was asking.
"Is this house gonna too?"
His eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head, "it's different. The CDC didn't just blow up, it's a government building, it was made that way."
"Gover-ment?" I sounded out, repeating the word. I looked over at the house, "so . . . it won't?"
"Nah, nothin's blowin' up. S'long a no one shoots at a cistern."
"What's that?"
"It's a big metal tank of gas, relax, doubt there's one around."
I nodded as he pulled his arm back and started walking again. As I began to follow, I made a mental note to look around for a gas tank when I had the chance.
We were able to catch up easily when the everyone else stopped at the porch.
"So, do we ring the bell?" Glenn asked after a moment, "I mean it looks like people live here."
"We're past this kind of stuff, aren't we? Having to be considerate." T-Dog said as he started up the porch.
"Did you close the gate up the road when you drove in?"
Everyone stopped again at the woman's voice. I looked in the same direction they were too see someone sitting in a chair on the far side of the porch. She was concealed in the shadows so I didn't see her face, but she had her legs up on the chair, hugging her knees.
"Uh, hi." Glenn stammered, "yes, we closed it, latch and everything."
The girl straightened her legs, leaning forward a little.
T-Dog looked down at his arm, "it's not a bite, cut myself pretty bad though."
"We'll have it looked at," she said as she stood. "I'll tell them you're here."
She walked forward into the light, her voice sounded dismissive. She didn't seem very happy, though I wasn't sure if that was our fault. Her hair was short and brown, and her expression looked neutral, like she was neither pleased nor displeased.
"We have some painkillers and antibiotics. He's already has some. if Sophia needs any, we came to help . . . if there's anything we can do . . ." Glenn said, taking the pill bottle out of his pocket.
"Is my dad here?" I heard Carl ask. I looked over to him standing with Lori, they still hadn't walked.
The girl looked back at Carl, confused.
"My husband, " Lori clarified, "Rick Grimes."
The girl hesitated, "uh, how many kids do you have?"
"Uh, three. Including Sophia." Glenn said.
"Come on inside, I'll make y'all something to eat." The short haired girl turned, opening the door and walking into the house.
Everyone followed the girl, Glenn, and T-Dog inside. Me and Daryl were behind but I stopped before stepping up the porch steps. I looked down at the steps, seeing dried drops of blood. After staring at it for a moment, I looked away and followed Daryl inside.
We walked into a large room with two couches and a TV on the far side. There was a girl on one of the couch, her hair was really light blonde, it reminded me of Andrea's and her sisters. She was leaning against some guy, they looked the same age, or at least close to it.
"Sophia and her mom are in this room over here, if you'd like to see them." The short haired girl said.
She lead them to a room on the left but I stood in place. I heard some talking but wasn't sure what they said, I guessed they were talking to Carol. I thought about following them into the room, I was curious and wanted to know what was going on. But I didn't move.
When Carl came out of the room he looked more sad than before, everyone's expressions seemed more bothered than before.
After that, she lead us into the kitchen. The table wasn't very big, definitely wouldn't fit us all.
The girl excused herself for a couple minutes and came back with a different blonde girl, this one was much older.
"I'm Patricia," she introduced as she sat down. She placed some kind of box on the table. "Which one of ya is cut?"
"That'd be me," T-Dog said.
"Have a seat, I'll try and fix you up." Patricia told him.
T-Dog sat across from her and took the makeshift bandage he had off.
"Don't have a lotta chairs," The short-haired girl said, "you can take a seat in the livingroom while I fix up some food. My dad should be with you in a few minutes."
Dale patted T-Dog's shoulder as he left the room with some of the others, including Daryl. The only ones that stayed were me and Glenn.
The girl with the short hair sauntered around the kitchen, clanking dishes, opening cupboards and drawers. In the meantime Patricia had put on some kind of rubber gloves and was getting ready to start stitching T-Dog's cut. Glenn had put the pill bottle on the table for use, he didn't seem to know what to do with it.
The girl with the short hair looked at me and tapped an empty chair at the table, "you can take a seat if you want," she assured. Patricia had started cleaning T-Dog's cut.
I didn't move or say anything, instead I just looked down at my old running shoes. I didn't look T-Dog's way for a while, but from the sudden gasps and moans I guessed she had started the stitching. Thinking about the needle going into his skin I was reminded of the needle I got back at the CDC. I knew it was a totally different thing, but that didn't make me want to look.
"You got here just in time. This couldn't go untreated much longer." Patricia said.
I heard T-Dog continue to groan and whimper and it made me wince, thinking of the needle going into his skin.
"Merle Dixon, is that your friend with the antibiotics?" Patricia asked. I looked up when I heard Merle's name, I wondered how she knew about him then saw the pill bottle on the table, I guessed it had his name on it if it was his.
"No, ma'am. Merle's no longer with us." Glenn replied, "Daryl gave us those, his brother."
"Not sure I'd call him a friend," T-Dog said in a low voice.
"He is today, this doxycycline might have just saved your life. You know what Merle was taking it for?"
I got a funny feeling in my stomach, it wasn't a bad feeling, maybe even happy. I had finally paid attention at the right moment to answer a question. I didn't want to talk, but at the same time I was glad I knew something someone else didn't.
"Clap." I blurted out.
And once again, everyone looked at me, looking surprised. Patricia was the first to recover, giving her attention back to T-Dog's arm. The girl with the short hair continued her business. Glenn was a few feet to my right, his lips were tight and his expression almost seemed embarrassed.
"Um, venereal disease." Glenn said, looking away from me.
Wait, now what's that?
"I'd say Merle's clap was the best thing that ever happened to you." Patricia said.
T-Dog winced as she pierced his skin with the needle again, "I'm trying really hard not to think about that."
I looked around as an awkward silence infiltrated the air. No one else looked confused, and no one else looked like they were going to explain. What was Glenn talking about, Daryl said it was clap. What does the clap even mean, and what's venereal disease?
"What's clap?" I asked, looking at Glenn. My voice was quiet but I was sure most of them heard me.
Glenn looked at me again, only to slow look away toward T-Dog, "uh . . ."
Patricia lifted her eyes to me for a brief second before looking back at T-Dog's arm.
"N-Nothin'," T-Dog rasped, "don't worry about it."
I pressed my lips together in annoyance and turned away, walked back the way I'd come in.
No one tells me shit.
I stepped into the doorway of the living room, Daryl was standing by the front door, leaning against the wall. That blonde girl and the boy were still sitting on the couch, they were talking quietly to each other but I couldn't hear what they were saying. Lori and Carl were sitting on the couch across from them, Dale sat there too. I didn't see Carol, but I guessed she was in the room where Sophia was. I wondered about Rick and Shane. I didn't think they were in that other room but I wasn't sure.
I just kind of stood there in the doorway for a minute, then I moved myself into the room more, going to the far side closer to the corner.
Then a man walked out of the room Sophia was in, wiping his hands with a rag, the rag had blood on it. He was a lot older than everyone else, maybe closer in age to Dale. He had more hair then Dale and it was much whiter.
The old man looked at Lori as she stood up, "Lori Grimes?"
"Yes."
"Hershel Greene, your husband asked me to speak to you when you arrived. Him and Shane left with my man Otis to a school not too far from here, there was a FEMA shelter set up there."
"What? Why?" Lori's eyes were wide with surprise and concern.
"Sophia isn't doing well. She's lost a lot of blood and her mother doesn't know her blood type so we can't do a transfusion. The bullet that went into her back broke into pieces, I was able to get a shallow piece out, but I can't risk getting the others unless we put her under. One of the pieces, I suspect is too close to her spine, if she moves, even in the slightest, I could severe and artery or damage a nerve. But putting her under is a risk on it's own, in her current condition it is possible she wouldn't be able to breathe on her own. That's why they left, to find a respirator, more surgical supplies, anesthesia."
"And when they get back, if you have all that, you could save her?"
"I could try, and I will."
Lori nodded, "how . . . how long ago did they leave?"
"Not long before you got here. Twenty minutes, half an hour at most."
"I don't even know what to say," Lori went on, "you have no idea . . . thank you-"
"-Don't thank me just yet." Hershel stopped her. "Your time would be better put to use praying for the girl. I haven't had a prayer answered in a good solid few months . . . so I figure we're about due for something good."
Lori told Carl she would go and see Carol, she said it loud enough for most of us to hear. Lori walked around the couch and to the room where Sophia and Carol were. Then the short haired girl with the pink tank top stepped out of the kitchen.
"I put together some sandwiches, help yourselves." she said in a neutral tone before turning back into the kitchen. Carl got up and started toward the kitchen, when he saw I hadn't moved he stopped in his tracks and nodded toward the kitchen with his head. I knew he wanted me to follow.
When I started to follow he started walking again. Before going into the kitchen I glanced over at the living room, no one else had gotten up or moved. Dale still sat on the couch, this time fiddling with the knob on his watch. It wasn't the first time I saw him do it, he actually did it a lot.
I followed Carl into the kitchen, T-Dog and Glenn were sitting at the table eating sandwiches, I didn't see Patricia. I guess they finished T-Dog's arm since she was gone and he was eating.
"Have a seat, kids," the girl said looking at us, "I'll grab you some."
"Sit with me," Carl said quietly as he leaned toward me. I turned my head to him just as he turned away, he walked around the table and sat in an empty chair closest to T-Dog. I swallowed nervously and followed after him, sitting in the empty chair next to him.
"I hope Sophia is going to be okay." He said quietly.
T-Dog looked up at him and so did Glenn. T-Dog looked like he wanted to say something but Glenn spoke up, "she will, Shane and your dad will come back with everything they need. Everything is going to be okay."
I didn't see Glenn in the room when Hershel explained what was going on, but I guessed he was near the doorway or came to listen in. Two plates were placed in front of me and Carl.
"I'll grab one for Carol." The girl took a plate from the counter behind us and left the room. I stared down at my own plate, eyeing the sandwich. I wasn't sure what was on it, some kind of meat and something else. But that wasn't what surprised me. I lifted my hand, poking my index finger into the bread. It was soft, not stale or moldy, but fresh bread. I looked over at Carl to see he had already started eating without question. I found that strange, usually he was the one with the questions. I briefly wondered where they got it or how they made it, then I just shook my head to myself and started eating.
I didn't know what kind of meat it was, maybe ham. It was chewy and I didn't really like it, there was some cheese too. I had eaten about half of it before I got sick of the taste and started to feel full.
I put the sandwich down and stared at my plate for a while. This was all very weird, first we're travelling, no food, no water then we come across the traffic block. Then Sophia gets shot and we end up in some fancy house with a random bunch of people serving sandwiches. I had a feeling Shane or Daryl would have something to say about it, but I guessed Shane was too busy getting what Sophia needed.
Sure enough, just as I thought of Daryl he walked into the kitchen. I watched as he went to the counter and grabbed a sandwich for himself, eating without question. Glenn said something I missed and got up to leave the room, leaving his empty plate behind.
T-Dog stood once he finished eating and put his plate on top of Glenn's. He mumbled something about talking to Carol before leaving the room. Daryl followed him after.
Carl was still beside me eating. Though with his head down his dad's hat covered his face. I wasn't going to eat anymore so I just sat there awkwardly. I pressed my lips together as I got lost in thought, looking at Glenn and T-Dog's empty plate. I turned my head over to the sink, on the counter right beside it was an old dish rag. I glanced back at the plates, rationalizing that it was better than just sitting here. Daddy never liked it if there was something to be done and no one doing anything about it.
I looked at Carl and tapped my plate with my finger, "want it?"
He lifted his head so I could see him under his hat. His mouth was full so he hesitated before answering. He chewed a little and finally swallowed, "uh, I guess. You don't want it?"
I just shook my head and put the last half of the sandwich on his plate. I stood up reaching across the table to grab the two plates piled on each other as well as my own. I heard Carl ask me what I was doing but I ignored him and took the plates to the sink.
There was a small bottle of dish soap on the counter, there wasn't much left in it. I placed a drop of it onto the dish rag and proceeded to clean the dishes.
Once I was done I put the dishes on the dry rack on the left side of the sink. I turned around, Carl was watching me questioningly, chewing slowly. I felt like I was suffocating, I was bored and wanted to do something, I couldn't even just walk around the house because of the new people and I knew everyone else was in the next room.
I wanted to be alone but I didn't just want to sit in there and hide. I knew I couldn't even attempt to go outside, it was too dark, there was too much tension and worry with everyone. And no one was busy so someone would notice and see me right away. I couldn't go unnoticed now.
I didn't just want to stay in there and do nothing, if they said anything about what was going on or if Shane and Rick got back I wanted to know. I decided maybe I could just stand on the sidelines with Daryl, I'd done it before.
I left the room without saying anything to Carl, I felt a little guilty but I just didn't have it in me to say anything. I walked into the living room and all was silent. I didn't see Lori, Glenn or T-Dog so I guessed they were in another room. I caught sight of Daryl just as he was opening the door to go outside. I rushed over, hoping no one would call out or stop me as I followed him onto the porch.
As the door closed behind us he turned around, I guessed because he heard me following. He still had his crossbow slung over his shoulder, which of course wasn't unusual.
"Can't breathe in there," he commented. I gave a nod and watched as he went to the porch railing and leaned forward onto it, looking out into the darkness.
I took a couple steps closer until I was beside him. I waited, wondering if he would tell me to beat it or that he didn't want me around. But he was quiet.
"Guessin' you're with me again for the night?" He asked after a very long silence. I looked up at him, not sure if I should answer or even how. I hadn't thought about sleep, but now that Daryl brought it up, I'd love to just lie down and hide away.
I turned my head, looking at the house. Daryl seemed to guess my train of thought.
"Not stayin' in there. Puttin' up the tent. Not sure what the others are doin'. Not even sure how much space there is to sleep or if those people really want us in there."
Makes sense, I thought, Daddy never liked surprise visitors.
Daryl saw the headlights of the truck in the distance before I did. So I was confused when he suddenly went to the door. He opened the door and yelled in, alerting everyone they were back. That was when I glanced to the road.
Then Daryl resumed his place and almost everyone filed out of the house. I didn't see Carl. I glanced over at the RV, wondering if Guillermo would ever come out.
The truck pulled up the driveway and kept going until it was in the light from the porch. I didn't recognise the truck, but I recognised the driver and the man in the passenger seat. Shane wasted no time as the car halted to a stop to scramble out the drivers side with a bag over his shoulder, not even bothering to turn the ignition off. Rick was on the passenger side and didn't get out right away.
Just about everyone was outside, Lori and Hershel rushed toward the truck, Hershel being a little faster, meeting Shane halfway to take the bag. Shane, I noticed, was limping as he walked.
Rick decided to get out of the truck, "how is she?"
"There's still a chance," Hershel said loudly. Rick walked around the truck and nodded. Both men were pale, exhausted, and drenched in sweat. Blood spattered both of the front of their clothes, I could even see some chunks of something stuck to them, maybe flesh. The blood seemed darker than it should've been, making it obvious it didn't belong to any humans.
Lori ran over to Rick, kissing her husband and hugging him tightly before taking the bag he had. The short haired girl appeared behind her taking the bag from Lori and walking over to Hershel with it.
Hershel stared at the two men before glancing at the truck, awaiting an answer to an unspoken question. "Otis?" He finally asked.
Rick looked up, his face taking on a new horrified expression. He put a hand to his face, hiding his expression as he shook his head. Shane's eyes were wide as well, seemingly in fear but there was something else there I couldn't make out. Some kind of hesitation or confusion, as if he had forgotten his surroundings. After hesitating, Shane shook his head as well.
Hershel's lips parted and the girl with the short hair let out a sob as her facial features turned to cry.
"We say nothing to Patricia," Hershel said, turning to the house. "Not 'til after. I need her."
Maggie stared at Shane and Rick as tears streamed down her face, "how . . ."
"They . . . they kept blocking us from every turn." Shane sputtered out, "We had nothing left we were down to ten rounds. He said-he said he'd cover us . . . th-that we should keep going. So that's what . . . that's what we did. I just . . ."
"Maggie!" Hershel called out with an urgency in his tone. He had reached the porch and was making his way inside. After a deep breath, the short haired girl; Maggie, followed him.
As those two went inside, most of the others followed. After a while, Lori and Rick did too. I think Carl was still inside, I knew he'd be happy his dad was back.
I looked back at Shane, I was still far away from the truck but it was easy to say he looked like he was about to cry.
I started to walk closer but I stopped, I didn't have anything to say and still didn't feel like talking. I guessed Otis was the guy that shot Sophia, but was it really a bad thing that he was dead? He shot someone, that was bad. Though they were saying it was an accident. It was really hard for me to form a clear thought on the whole thing, especially since I never met the guy.
His eyes met mine briefly and he looked away again. He started walking forward, well, limping. I thought he was going to come talk to me or say something, but instead he just kept walking. I watched him in confusion as he passed me and went into the house.
Daryl was still on the porch, he was staring at the door, he had watched him too.
I furrowed my eyebrows, there was a pang of hurt in my chest. I didn't always want to talk to him but that had never happened before, he hardly even looked at me. Sometimes he would pass and give me a smile, always meeting my eyes, sometimes patted or clutching my shoulder.
This time he did nothing.
I stared at Daryl, as if he would offer some kind of explanation. He looked back at me with a confused expression, he noticed it too. He left the porch, walking passed me and mumbling something about the tent.
I went back to the porch steps and climbed up. When I reached the top, I turned around and sat down. I knew they were going to try and fix Sophia now, and everyone would just have to wait to see what happened. Including me, I chose to wait outside.
"Hey."
I turned around to see Carl, he was still wearing that hat. Carl came forward and sat beside me on the step, he put his elbows on his knees and rested his head on his hands.
"Still waiting," he said. "Everyone's real quiet. Shouldn't it be done by now? Is it bad it's taking so long?"
"Might be good," I finally decided, thinking maybe if I answered he'd go away. "maybe whatever they have to do is workin', if it wasn't she'd be dead, right? And they'd be done."
I could tell by his expression I had said the wrong thing.
Shit, I thought my sentence over, trying to figure out which part I shouldn't have said. Was it because I said 'dead'? I really need to work on this.
He was silent for a long time, he wouldn't look at me. I tried to think of something else, maybe a way to back peddle but I came up with nothing.
"We should've been out there." He finally said, "if we were helping we could've found her faster and she wouldn't be hurt."
"No." I told him. My sympathy was melting away, being replaced with annoyance over this subject. "Even if we went we're not allowed to do anythin'. We're kids, you're a kid, I'm a kid, Sophia's a kid. No one's gonna let us do anythin' or tell us shit so just get over it." I took a deep breath after my small rant, my voice had been deeper than usual, making my throat feel a little sore when I finished. I just didn't want to talk and that made me even more mad because he wasn't going anywhere until I did talk.
Carl refused to believe, or just plain ignored the fact that he wasn't an adult. He thought he could do anything and prove he could just grow up and always be involved. And as horrible as it sounded, I was sick and tired of Sophia. Yes, she seemed nice and she was never mean, she had tried to talk to me before but I always brushed her off. I hated how guilty this all made me feel.
I never talked to her and we weren't friends, I knew that was why I didn't care as much as everyone else. But it was like I had to keep being reminded that I didn't feel bad and I was supposed too, then I felt guilty, then even more guilty because I never talked to her in the first place.
I wished they just hurry up and fix her so we could leave and continue this painful journey. Then there was a pang in my chest that melted down and settled in my stomach, feeling like a lead weight.
I'm not supposed to be here. Daddy was supposed to come back and we were gonna go home.
I could feel Carl looking at me but I didn't look back. I was suddenly just so angry with everything and everyone. I stared at the ground, silently pleading he wouldn't talk and just look away.
We both jumped as the front door opened. When we looked, it was Lori, telling us Hershel was finished.
We both went inside and just about everyone was in the living room. I didn't see Daryl, but then I remembered he went off to get the tent and I didn't see him after that. Shane was at the back of the room sitting on the floor. He looked up, as if noticing for the first time Hershel was in the room too and decided to stand. Everyone else was standing too, eager to hear the results.
Carol was standing in front of the couch, she must've been sitting on it. I guessed she had to wait in this room while they did the surgery. It was easy to tell she'd been crying, and was still sort of crying.
The blonde women, Patricia, went off into the kitchen, holding some kind of tray.
"She seems to have stabilized," Hershel said.
There were gasps, and some exclamations. A lot of people were smiling. Carol put a hand to her mouth, in awe and in shock.
"I don't, I don't have words." She struggled out.
"I don't either, I wish I did." Hershel said.
"Thank you. Thank you so much." She started crying again, even though she was smiling and Lori went over to her.
"Don't." Hershel said, "there's still a chance . . . we have the bullet fragments out and her vitals are low, stabilising and very slowly rising, but still low. She's still in a somewhat critical condition. All we can do now is hope for her recovery. She's lost a lot of blood we couldn't replace since you were unable to find that test. We all need the rest, we don't have much room in the house you'll have to make do with your RV, I believe we have a tent or two in a closet somewhere, if you need it. Once we've rested well and the daylight comes I hope to talk with you all again. For now, I need to handle my own affairs."
"There anything I can do?" Rick said quietly, he seemed unsure, almost afraid to ask.
Hershel thought it over, "how do I tell Patricia?"
Though the question was rhetorical, Rick took sometime before glancing at his wife. "Go with Carol, see Sophia. I'll go with Hershel."
"Can I see Sophia too?"
Lori agreed as soon as Carol said it was alright. Then Rick left to the kitchen and Maggie left the room down another hall. Looking around, I didn't see the other blonde girl that was sitting with the guy on the couch. I watched some people leave the house, maybe to go to the RV or set up a tent, as I watched them go, I saw Daryl at the door and wondered when he got there.
Shane was still standing on the far side of the room, staring at the floor. When maggie came back she was holding a stack of folded clothes.
"You can use the shower down that hall to the left," she said, her eyes bloodshot from crying.
"Thank you," he said in a shaky voice, taking the clothes.
"They won't fit well, they were Otis'." She explained.
I watched Shane's expression as his eyes widened slightly, after a moment he nodded. He caught my eye for a brief moment before looking away and going to the bathroom.
I looked over at Daryl just as he turned and left outside. I followed him out. Daryl walked off into the darkness, further away from the house then I expected, once we got closer I saw his and Merle's tent set up near a large tree.
Daryl looked at me as he began to unzip the tent, "tired?"
I nodded.
"You can have Merle's sleepin' bag."
We both went in, he didn't have a lantern or a flashlight on. That was when I remembered I still had his flashlight in my bag. I took the backpack off and put it down, then I turned to zip the tent back up.
After I did that I went into my bag and gave Daryl the flashlight. He didn't notice I was giving it to him right away, I nudged him with it and he did a double take before reaching out for it.
He turned on the light and looked around, straightening his sleeping bag a little, everything was already laid out. This was what he was doing for the while he was gone.
I took my shoes and socks off and as soon as I did I could feel my feet throbbing, I curled my toes a bit, trying to relieve myself of the pain.
I ignored the throbbing, figuring I had just been on my feet a lot . I looked around the tent, there was a bag in the corner I knew was his, and resting beside it, in a heap on the ground, was Merle's leather jacket. My eyes widened and a crawled over to it, picking it up to examine it. I forgot all about it, I tried remembering what happened to it. I knew I had it for a while, but I never got to give it to Merle. I glanced at Daryl, wondering if I should ask.
I found out he had already been watching me, "found it in here. You look confused. Thought you put it in here."
I pressed my lips together, thinking hard. Then I came to the conclusion that while Merle was gone and Daryl was hunting, I left it in the tent when I was hiding or sleeping in it. So I nodded.
"Use it if you need to, I'm not gonna." His voice sounded a little more rough, more edgy and annoyed. I guessed it was because he was thinking about Merle.
I crawled over to Merle's sleeping bag, taking the jacket with my and placing it on the ground beside my sleeping place.
"Want the light?" he asked as he settled in his bag. I shook my head, as I laid down.
He placed the light in between us, meeting my eyes and nodding before turning it off. It took me a minute to realize he was making sure I knew where it was. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused at his thoughtfulness. I placed my hand on Merle's jacket, I liked the feeling of the leather, it was cold and it had been such a hot day. After thinking about it I sat up and took Sophia's sweater off, it was dark and I would be sleeping, I had been wearing it since the CDC, and there was still that blood stain on the front from killing the Walker in the RV. I also took my knives off and put them aside before lying back down.
The events of the day, of the week, of the month soared through my head. I had so many thoughts and emotions I couldn't sort out I figured I'd never fall asleep.
But I did.
I woke up feeling movement by my feet and I heard it as well. I immediately sat up, a little fearful and confused. There was light seeping through the tarps of the tent, telling me it was daytime. Daryl was at my feet, facing me as he slid on a new shirt. It was darker than the one before, but the sleeves had still been torn off.
He looked at me, noticing I was startled. He didn't say anything, instead he looked away, going through his bag. I realized I really needed to pee. I started to get up when I remembered the sweater, it hadn't really started to smell too bad yet, but with the blood I knew it would. I put the sweater on but didn't zip it up, then I put my socks and running shoes on, I noticed again my feet were still sore but I ignored it. I strapped my knives back on too. I went over and unzipped the tent to crawl out, I didn't bother zipping it back up, assuming Daryl would be out behind me.
Looking off toward the big house, I saw the RV and just about everyone else. It must've already been close to noon, everyone was busy. There was one tent up already and I could see Glenn struggling with the poles of another. I wondered why he was setting up a tent at that moment, and where everyone slept last night. Then I guessed mostly everyone had to have crammed into the RV.
Dale, unsurprisingly, had the hood of the RV opened and was fiddling with the inside. Was it broken again? We might as well find a new RV.
I stared at the house, thinking for a moment. I wasn't really sure if I should go and ask someone, they may not of even had running water. I turned back to Daryl's tent, we were a bit far away, but not that close to the actual forest area. There were a few trees and some bushes, almost making a tiny forest of its own. I walked behind the tent and was about to continue on until Daryl stopped me.
"Hey. Where you goin'?"
I looked at Daryl a little startled, I didn't know when he had gotten out of the tent, he was empty handed, wasn't even holding his crossbow.
I looked back to the direction I was walking, hoping that would send some silent symbol before looking back at him.
Daryl shook his head, "the hell you thinkin'? One of you kids just got shot and you wanna go out wanderin'?"
I shook my head, embarrassed.
His eyebrows were furrowed, he was starting to get really annoyed. "You do somethin' stupid and I'm the one that gets yelled at y'know that? You can't keep goin' off when you feel like it."
I shook my head again, a little scared to speak.
"Then what the hell you doin'?"
"Goin' pee." I mumbled.
His eyes were narrowed at me, I could tell he didn't hear me at first, but soon enough his eyes widened and his expression relaxed into realisation. He nodded and turned away so I did too.
Once I was done I went back to the tent and stood there awkwardly, Daryl wasn't standing there anymore. A moment later he came out of the tent, this time with his crossbow over his shoulder. He zipped the tent up and stood, looking at me.
"Rick's kid was lookin' for you earlier, told him you were sleepin'." he said.
I decided to try and find Carl, I was in a better mood then the day before. I was even better knowing I had actual slept through the night, I loved not feeling tired.
Glenn was the first I got closest to as I neared the others, and it surprised me how fast he noticed me. He was still struggling with the same pole.
"Oh, wait, wait." He said stopping me. "Come here, can you give me hand, just for a sec?"
I hesitated but nodded. His eyes seemed to brighten up and he smiled, "great, come here. Hold this."
It didn't take us very long, maybe ten minutes to get the tent up. Once it seemed to be up and staying up, Glenn inspected it a little, pulling on the sides slightly. I saw Maggie long before he did, and from the determined look on her face and the way her gaze stayed where we were, I knew she was on her way to us. She was wearing a dark brown cowboy hat, it reminded me of Carl's hat, but his didn't have that dip and curve like hers did.
Maggie approached behind Glenn, I opened my mouth slightly to warn him, but I wasn't really sure what to say. After hesitation I finally spoke up once she was a few feet away, "mister Glenn?"
"Huh?" he glanced at me and I pointed at Maggie, he turned around. Once he turned to look at her I stepped closer to him, a little curious. I wasn't exactly beside him but I was close.
"I hear you're fast on your feet and know how to get in and out." Maggie said when she stopped in front of him. "Got a pharmacy run, you in?"
Glenn looked lost for a moment, then began to sputter out his answer, "oh, uh, sure, I-I mean, yeah. Yeah. I-I'm Glenn."
"I know, Rick told me. I'm Maggie." Maggie's eyes shifted to me, she tilted her head to the side, as if trying to get a bigger view as she smiled, "what's your name?"
Glenn turned to look at me, as if briefly forgetting my presence. "This is-"
"-I'm sorry, was I talking to you?"
My jaw practically dropped. The smile she was giving me had gone in an instant when Glenn spoke, turning to a firm expression as she looked at him and crossed her arms.
Glenn looked startled, "uh . . ." Dismissing him she turned back to me.
"Sorry about that. What's your name?"
I was pretty sure everybody knew my name by now anyway, so I didn't see any harm in telling her. Plus it was refreshing to have someone to acknowledge me in a way that didn't make me feel like a burden for a change, even though I knew I was. She seemed genuinely interested, the way she was looking at me and patiently waiting for an answer.
"I'm Toby," my voice came out quiet, making me sound unsure when I meant it to sound much more confident.
"That's an interesting name," she answered with a toothy smile, "listen, you need anything you can ask me or my daddy. Alright?" I nodded and she glanced at Glenn, seeing his expression she turned her attention to him.
"What? You don't think she's capable of speaking for herself?"
"No, no, it's-it's just she . . . doesn't always talk I mean."
"If she doesn't feel comfortable and doesn't talk then she doesn't talk. Although, I don't think that's really shocking, seeing as how you feel the need to speak for her instead of giving her the space to do it herself."
Oh, I really like her.
Glenn's mouth was open, as if trying to formulate a response. I felt a little bad but couldn't help the corner of my mouth slightly lifting.
"Excuse me, miss?" Dale came over, interrupting whatever Glenn was trying to say. "What's the water situation here?"
"We've got five wells on our land." Maggie explained, her expression turning neutral again. "House draws directly from number one, number two is over there but it's just as pure as one."
Dale nodded and thanked her before walking away. Maggie's expression went firm again, possibly condescending as she looked at Glenn.
"I'll go rally up the horses and we'll head out." Maggie looked at me again and smiled, "maybe we'll talk some more another time, huh?" I let myself smile as I nodded. She turned away then, me and Glenn both watched her leave.
Glenn turned to me, his eyebrows knitted together, "horses?"
I just shrugged, suddenly remembering Carl. I remembered I saw Lori walking before I went to Glenn so I went off into that general direction, which was toward the RV.
I saw T-Dog as I walked, and I saw Lori. I contemplated asking her where Carl was but decided not to, I doubted he was far from her. I heard the RV creak slightly and the door opened, I looked at the person coming out and froze.
He was wearing jeans and a dark shirt, his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. He was holding a duffel bag in his hand, and in his other hand I recognized the dark blue cap he usually wore. At first I didn't even recognize him. He paused on the steps of the RV, staring at me with his wide brown eyes. He had shaven his hair.
I knew the face was Shane's, but it seemed so odd and his head looked like it was almost shaped different, his ears stuck out more and with his hair gone his facial features seemed more prominent. His lips were parted and I stood there, wondering if he would say or do anything.
His expression was blank as he stared back. He finally closed his mouth and stepped down from the RV, he looked at the ground and put his cap on his head. His cap shielded his eyes from me and he kept his head down as he walked by me.
I turned watching him go, bewildered, absolutely lost in what was going on. The day before I knew someone I didn't know had died, and he had to get the stuff Sophia needed, so it was possible he just didn't feel like talking. Now his hair was gone and all he did was briefly look at me.
I was used to being invisible, in fact I usually preferred it, I had no idea how to handle any attention from anyone and I never said the right thing. I knew the others forgot about me sometimes, or were even a little too scared or just didn't want to bother talking to me, I always expected it from them, especially from Daryl. I expected to be ignored, and forgotten because I knew no one wanted, or knew what to do with me.
But I never expected it from Shane. Sometimes I hoped for it because the attention he gave me was intimidating, but he never did. He usually made it a point to show he acknowledged me, even if he was just walking by.
Before I even thought it through I was following him. He didn't seem to notice. He walked until he got a little closer to the fences to the large field, a bit further from where all the others were setting up camp.
Shane dropped his bag and got to his knees to open it, he went through the bag, pulling things out, one of the things he pulled out a tarp. He planned to make his camp there.
He still didn't know I was there and I wasn't sure what to say. I waited and watched as he laid things out and got stuff ready.
"I can help," I said.
Shane turned, almost jolting toward me. He relaxed once he saw it was me and turned away to his bag.
"No." He said simply.
"I helped Glenn," I said, confused.
I heard him sigh and he didn't move for a few moments. I thought he'd say yes or pretend to be enthusiastic about it, which was what he always did. He always acted like he wanted to be involved in what I did, and wanted me to feel involved and do things with him. Why is he being so weird? I mean, the weird I'm not used to.
Shane stood up and turned to me, he was standing closing and towering over me. He made his expression firm, raising his eyebrows. I knew the expression from him all too well, he wanted to make a point.
"Toby," he said. "Go."
I didn't move, all I did was blink.
Shane lifted his hand, pointing behind me, "Go. Did you hear me? I don't want you near me. Now go!"
I stepped back, jumping a little when he raised his voice. I still found it hard to move or go anywhere, he had never given me a look like that. I didn't understand it. I wondered if I did something wrong. Think, what did you do to piss him off so much? This is a guy that wouldn't leave you alone. What did you do?
Shane suddenly sighed, side tracking me from my thoughts. He took his hand back and took off his hat to rub his bald head, a habit he always had with his hair.
His expression calmed and he relaxed his arm at his side.
"It's better for you to go and it's better for you to stay away from me," he said, seeming to have calmed down. "Please."
I stepped back again and looked at the ground. Then I turned around and started walking. I wandered aimlessly for a while, trying to figure out what I did that made him finally have enough of me.
I looked at the house and around again, seeing the huge field that was their yard. There were still no Walkers. Then I remembered the night before, when I asked Daryl about the chances of the house blowing up, he said there would have to be some gas tank, didn't he? He had a word for it, I just couldn't remember.
I walked passed the RV again, wondering where a gas tank would be if they had one. While I was walking I finally saw Carl maybe ten minutes later. He was on the porch, having just walked out of the house. I stopped in my tracks and he noticed me almost immediately. He waved at me and was smiling.
I didn't move or smile back. Carl hurried off the porch and came toward me, he slowed down a bit once he got close and frowned.
"You okay?"
I just stared, realizing he might have noticed something was wrong. I straightened myself a bit and shrugged, attempting to make my face blank again. I tried to forget about my encounter with Shane, while trying to focus on finding a gas tank, it was really all I could think about.
He seemed to throw his thought aside and smiled again, "I thought maybe I could try to teach you to read like I said before. I asked someone living here, she said her name was Beth for paper and pencils. She gave me this box with pens, pencils, pencil crayons and stencils. There's some letter ones and animals, it could help right?"
I fought to keep my expression blank, I wanted to show I was confused but decided against it. I already felt stupid, I didn't want him to think I was even more stupid. I spent a moment trying to figure out what a stencil was as he beckoned me to follow him to the house.
On the walk to the house, I didn't figure out what a stencil was, but I remembered something. "Sophia?" I asked.
Carl's expression changed, going to solemn. His pace slowed as well, "she's sleeping. She didn't wake up yet, mom said she just needs a lot of sleep to get better."
Oh, I get it now, I'm his distraction. I mentally shrugged to myself, deciding I had nothing better to do and needed the distraction myself as I followed him.
Carl had the things he was talking about set up in the kitchen on the table. At first I was uncomfortable about the open place but no one was there, and I knew everyone was busy outside. I remembered what a stencil was as soon as I saw it, I remembered seeing them at school before. There was a shoe box on the table, inside I saw pencils, pens, pencil crayons, different stencils, and more. I didn't see any crayons, there were a few yellow pencil crayons, but no normal crayons. I felt myself get a little disappointed.
With a pencil Carl had traced out two rows of the alphabet with the stencils he told me. I didn't even know what was on the paper until he told me. He said he put some words together at the bottom of the page, I looked at them but they meant nothing to me
"It's easy stuff," he said. Though I was sure me and Carl had different definitions of what easy meant.
We sat at the table and he jumped right into it, obviously excited for some reason. We sat beside each other and he pointed to each letter in the first row, telling me which was which. I tried to hide my confusion at first, but then gave up, it was exhausting trying to focus on the new information and hiding how I felt. Carl went on, singing the letters as he went on, I knew the alphabet song, sort of. I never really bothered to sing it because I didn't think it mattered.
Carl stopped at the end of the first row at Z, then went back to the beginning and repeated it again. I was confused and didn't understand why he didn't read the second row, but I didn't say anything and let him go on.
He stopped again at Z and I waited for him to read out the second row, but he didn't. He went on explaining that I had to know the letters and so on. He paused after talking, it was either to let me take a turn at it, or just absorb the information, I wasn't sure which. I was already getting a little frustrated, not sure how I would remember all the letters or how long it would take me.
I waited but he just stared at me. So I finally pointed to the second row. "what about these ones?"
"That's the alphabet in capitals."
"What?"
"In capitals, you use capitals when first starting a sentence, and writing your name, or a city name."
The frustration built in my stomach and burned up into my throat, he wasn't answering my question. "So what're they called?"
Carl furrowed his eyebrows, he was confused. "Capitals."
"No," I pushed at him, raising my voice a little. "I mean the letters."
He was quiet for a moment. Looking down at the paper and back at me. It was like he had to think for a few moments before realizing something. He took a deep breath and started to explain again as he pointed at the paper, "they're the same as up here, they just look different. See this is a capital A and that's a lowercase A."
I glared down angrily at the paper, trying to make sense of it. Then I realized some letters in the second row matched a few in the first, they were just bigger, but the others were completely different.
I looked up at Carl, "there's two of each letter?"
"Yeah."
Frustration built up inside me. I pushed the paper away. "That's fuckin' stupid! Why?"
Carl was surprised at my outburst, "I-I don't know . . . that's just how they made it."
"Well they suck," I said, my voice getting low again. I got up out of my chair. I wasn't sure how I got so mad so quickly, but I didn't even want to look at that paper anymore.
I heard Carl push his chair back and he grabbed my arm stopping me. I yanked my arm back angrily, "wait," he said.
"Fuckin' stupid," I said again.
"Wait, don't go. We don't have to do this, we can stop."
I crossed my arms but didn't move anything else, my back was to him so I didn't bother hiding my frustration. My lip quivered and my eyes burned with unshed tears. Stupid, stupid, stupid. All of it is stupid, you're never going to get it, just a waste of time.
"We could look at comics again. Maybe we can try again some other time . . . if you wanted."
I took in a deep breath, trying to mask my expression before turning to him, my arms still crossed.
HIs eyes looked over my face, searching, "you know . . . comics usually just use capital letters. So we could just do those and worry about the rest after."
"Like . . . skip it?" I asked.
"Yeah. But we don't have to do anything today. That was dumb I guess, I just . . . I thought it was cool if I could help."
I looked down. I wasn't sure what I should say and guilt burned inside me.
"I'll get my comics," he said, suddenly perking up a bit. As if trying to fix what was going on, "we can just look at them. Maybe I could just read them to you again?"
I looked back up at him and his expression was questioning. "Yeah."
"Yeah?"
I nodded, "yeah."
"Cool, okay," he went to the table and put the stencils and pencil back into the shoebox, then he took the paper he wrote on, folded it, and put it in the box as well. He closed the shoebox and started walking out of the kitchen.
"My comics are in the RV," he explained. We left the house, I wondered if we should've left that shoebox on the table but I didn't know where Carl got it. He didn't say anything about it either.
We got outside and went straight to the RV, when we got there he told me to wait while he got them.
I looked around while I waited, people were still moving about. I saw Carol, she was standing beside Lori while she sat. Lori had a basket of laundry and some large tin bucket she seemed to be washing the clothes in. Rick approached Lori, he bent down to where she wa sitting and began talking to her. She was talking back but I was way too far to hear.
I looked over to where Shane was earlier, I didn't see him but his tent was set up.
Carl came out with some comic books a few moments later, not all of them but a few.
"That guy is still in there, he's just sitting there, staring," Carl said, his voice seemed uncertain.
"At what?"
He shrugged, "nothing, I guess. I don't know."
I didn't say anything about Guillermo, I thought about him, but didn't say anything. Me and Carl went over by the porch, we sat against it on the grass, a few feet away from the stairs. I thought we would go on the porch but we didn't, I didn't complain, I liked sitting in the grass.
Carl let me pick the comic and he read it to me, he stopped and answered a few questions I had about the comic or the characters in it. He was happy and I felt content.
I heard the front door open and watched as Hershel came down the front porch steps. He went over to Rick and they talked for no more than a minute. After that, Rick left Hershel and I continued to watch as Rick went the far distance to Shane's tent, he must've called out because Shane came out when he approached. They talked and walked back to everyone else.
The front door opened and the blonde girl came out with that boy I saw on the couch the night before. They went over to Hershel. The boy was wearing a light brown cowboy hat.
I nudged Carl with my elbow to stop his reading when his dad called him over.
"Come on," he said as he got up, leaving the comics behind.
I followed Carl and as we walked over to Rick, everyone started to gather.
Rick put his arm around Carl, pulling him closer as they walked over to Lori. I kept following, Shane went beside Lori and Carol. I stared at him, wondering if he would look at me or fake a smile.
I didn't move when his eyes briefly met mine, but it looked like it was an accident because he looked at the ground and then back up in a new direction.
Hershel was in front of everyone, standing with the blonde and the boy beside him.
"I'm Hershel Greene, for those of you who don't know." Hershel announced, "This is my farm, I wanted to say that you all are welcome to stay here while the girl gets better. We have plenty of food harvested because, well, the markets closed. And there is plenty of room on the land, so you're all welcome to stay for the time being, which I recommend staying here a while. It wouldn't be good for Sophia to be out in the elements again, at least not right away."
I saw a few people nod, and I knew no one had any intention of rushing back out there. It seemed everyone had worked to set up and stay already as long as possible.
Hershel put his hand on the blonde girl's shoulder, "this is Beth, my youngest. I'm sure most of you met my eldest, Maggie. Maggie went out to the pharmacy with one of your men. Patricia is upstairs resting at the moment, I'm sure most of you are familiar with her also. She was married to Otis, who volunteered and help bring the supplies back to help young Sophia. We'll be holding a memorial service for him this afternoon in the front yard, anyone is welcome.
Another thing, which I already discussed with Rick. I ask you not carry guns on my property. We've managed so far without turning this into an armed camp. I agreed to make an exception for Rick and Shane, being officers of the law. But I ask that you don't bring out more weapons."
Hershel stopped then, giving a nod, "that's all I wanted to say. Carol, would you come with me? I'd like to check on Sophia."
Carol nodded and went with him.
"Dad," Carl whispered, "can we go now?"
Rick nodded, "stay in sight, don't go off anywhere."
Carl turned to me and started walking, "come on."
We went back to the place we were sitting and he continued reading.
A couple comic books later, Glenn and Maggie were back. They were both on horses. I watched them for a while, Carl did too. He started talking about horses, how he only rode one once when he was little. Apparently one of his friends at school had a farm. He went on for a little bit but I didn't hear most of it, I wasn't listening that much. It was weird seeing Glenn on a horse, and he didn't look too thrilled about it.
They went down the field to the stables, and I lost sight of them once they went inside. I tuned in on Carl just as he was wondering if they would let us ride the horses here. I doubted it, since we usually weren't allowed to do anything the grown ups did, but I didn't say anything.
When Glenn and Maggie got to the house, Hershel went to Maggie, walking her inside. It wasn't long after that Rick came to ask Carl if he would come to the memorial service for that Otis guy. Rick told Carl he didn't have to if he didn't want to, but Carl said he wanted to.
"He helped Sophia," Carl said.
He also shot her, I added in my head.
Carl asked if I was going to come and I shook my head. Rick said it was out front if I changed my mind. Carl gave me a sad look, almost making me change my mind, but I looked away before I did.
I had never been to any funeral or memorial service before, and I wasn't about too. Well, before the campsite by Atlanta I never went to one. But the only one I knew that died there was Andrea's sister Amy. There were others that died, but I just never knew or talked to them, they were always just kind of in the background. I remembered at that funeral how I really wished I wasn't there, so I wasn't going to bother with this one.
While I was alone I just flipped through the comics, me and Carl had already gone through them all except for one, but I looked at the pictures again. I remembered some of the things Carl read out loud, so I understood the stories more as I looked at the pictures.
I wasn't doing that for very long before I stood up. I was curious and decided to go take a look at the others. I walked around the house and peeked around the corner, I saw the backs of the group so they didn't see me. Most of them were pretty spaced apart from each other so I could see passed. They were all gathered at this large stone pile, I watched as Maggie placed another stone on the top, and went back to where Hershel was standing.
I didn't understand what they were doing, and I realized I didn't want to. I turned away and started walking back the way I'd come. I saw the horse stables and stared at it for what felt like forever, I looked behind me to see if anyone was there, then back to the stables.
I was curious and really wanted to see the horses, I was scared I would get in trouble. After thinking about it I decided I'd go look and wouldn't get too close. I couldn't get in trouble for looking, right?
I noticed once again that my feet were hurting, I wiggled my toes a bit. Hoping to relieve the pain a little.
When I got there I could see there was two entrances to the stables, it was like a hallway, and opening on each end. I stepped into the hallway like entrance. One of the horses, who was in the last stable on the other end, behind a gate shook its head and whined, making me jump a little.
There were three horses, I stayed back from the gates and I walked through, one of them was turned all the way around, not caring I was there. One was calm, eating some grass or hay on the ground in front of them after looking at me. The last horse was moving around a lot, shuffling its feet and shaking its head.
I smiled, they were scary and big, but I really wanted to touch one. I went closer to the one that kept moving so much, I wasn't sure whether it's behavior was a good or bad sign. It's movements slowed as I got closer.
I reached out, wondering if this was a good idea but stopped when something caught my attention. I turned my head and leaned out the other entrance I was at. My eyes widened.
There, in front of a fence was a large, white, tank like object. It was on its side and had four legs to stand it up. There were big black letters on the side of it, obviously I didn't know what they were. I didn't think it mattered.
Isn't this what Daryl was talking about? I couldn't remember the word he used before describing it as a big gas tank. And that was exactly what it looked like. Daryl said it was fine unless someone shot at it, but that didn't make me feel much better. I rushed back the way I'd come, almost completely forgetting the horses. I just kept imagining the house blowing up. But the tank was pretty far from it . . . maybe there were underground pipes? Maybe the explosion would be big enough to reach, I had no idea. But it was very close to where the horses were. I didn't know how it worked, I barely understood how the last explosion happened, was it even worth the risk?
Just as I was getting back to the house, I saw some of the group coming around from the corner. Their funeral was over. I stopped running and stood there awkwardly, watching as some of them went separate ways. Finally, I saw Daryl, he was one of the last to walk around, walking the slowest and far from the others.
I started running again, he tore his gaze from the ground and looked at me. His eyebrows furrowed, obviously confused why I was running.
I stopped a few feet away from him, out of breathe, "I found . . ." I took a few breathes, realizing he'd probably have me show him anyways, I made a motion with my hand, "come on."
I tried to walk fast, even half jogging, I kept looking at Daryl to see if he was following and he did without a word. His expression seemed confused, maybe somewhat annoyed. But he couldn't have been that annoyed, usually when Daryl was mad he'd let you know.
"I . . . I wasn't even lookin'," I said, still panting, "for it, I mean. I was . . . just, lookin' at the horses."
"Where we goin'?" he finally asked.
I pointed through the stables just as we arrived there. I walked him through it and we reached the other end, once we were out I pointed to the tank.
He stared at it for a moment before looking back at me, "what? You brought me over here for this?"
I nodded, feeling nervous at his tone, "you said the place won't blow up unless there's a gas tank to shoot at. I found it."
He looked back it, and once again he turned to me. His annoyance had only grown in the past few moments, "you bein' funny?"
"No," I scrunched my nose. Why would he think that?
"Seriously? Where the hell's your head at?"
I opened my mouth to reply. When I didn't think of anything to say, I closed it, staring at him.
Daryl took long strides toward the tank, he stopped in front of it, turning to face me. He raised his hand, motioning to the big letters on the side, "Jesus, can't you read? It says 'water'."
Daryl banged on the side of the tank, it made a loud sound, echoing on the inside, "and it's empty. Use your damn eyes next time."
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I just stared at the ground. It never occurred to me that the tank could hold something else. I should've at least considered the letters on the tank. But what if I had? I didn't know what they said anyway. Well, I wouldn't know before Daryl told me.
"Let's go." Daryl said angrily, already walking. "There's too much goin' on right now for you to be goin' around doin' stupid shit. Got more important shit to worry about."
I followed him and silently waited to see if he would explain what else we had to worry about. But he didn't. I wondered if he was just talking about Sophia, but she was fine wasn't she? Aside from being asleep. And I wasn't sure how much Daryl really cared, let alone worried about Sophia.
What else do we have to be worried about? I still hadn't seen a single Walker.
The air between us was tense and I could feel the awkwardness. I wonder if he felt it or was too mad.
Great job, you pissed off Shane and Daryl.
We continued walking and I briefly looked up after a while, wanting to see how close we were to the house. Up ahead I could see Hershel, he was walking in our direction but not directly in front of us, possibly going to the stables or somewhere past us. Rick was behind him, and Shane was following. I felt a wave of anxiety when I saw him, almost completely forgetting he shaved his head.
"Hershel," Rick called, Hershel stopped turned to him, "I was wondering if we could have a word."
Rick stopped in front of Hershel and Shane a few feet behind, Daryl had stopped walking too once he got close.
I stepped behind Daryl just a bit, hoping Shane wouldn't see me. Though as soon as I moved Shane looked my way, and I wasn't hiding my entire body. After seeing me he looked back at Hershel, his face holding no expression.
"What can I do for you?"
"With everything that you've already done, I don't even want to ask. But the others are wondering."
"Well?" Hershel pressed, sounding just a bit impatient.
Rick hesitated, glancing at Shane who nodded him on, "where we were before . . . we had to leave some stuff behind accidentally. And we weren't able to retrieve them. We're low on tents, and we appreciate the one you were able to find for us."
"You have a good number of people with you." Hershel pointed out, as if helping Rick.
Rick nodded, "Exactly. We were wondering if we could move into your barn. Most of us are pretty sick of cramming together in the RV and I'm sure everyone would appreciate a real roof and walls over a tent."
"Oh, the barn? You don't want to go in there. Trust me." Hershel turned his head, looking off to where the barn was. "That's where we keep all our dead ones."
So here it is after two long months. I'm very sorry for the long wait everyone. Thank you for those who read my last authors note for all the Christmas wishes and hopeful messages. You were all so helpful, thank you for understanding.
It's almost impossible to do work here, always kids running around. Cant even be alone in the bedroom, it's a struggle but it's working out the best it can for now.
I'm sorry for the lack of excitement in this chapter, this was mostly a filler so move the story along. There wasn't much to happen here, but even so I hope it was good for you. I don't think the next chapter should take as long, but with how things are at the moment, no guarantees. My last day of school is on the 26th of January, than I should have more free time while most of the kids that live here will be at school during the day. So less distractions.
I'll be free until I start college in september, I'm so excited to get my diploma and be done.
Thank you so much for the reviews, messages and your patience. I hoped you like this chapter. If anyone has any questions or even ideas/suggestions feel free to PM, or leave it in a review.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, I hope you all had wonderful holidays!