Rick and Shane stared at Hershel. Rick stepped closer, tilting his head as he narrowed his eyes at the older man, "dead ones? What do you mean dead ones?!"

"You know, the Dead Ones," Hershel responded as if it was common knowledge, "all these people up and walking around when they shouldn't be, the ones that are causing all this trouble."

There was a long silence before Shane stepped in. He opened his mouth, taking a deep breath, but still hesitated. This new information didn't seem to be getting into their heads.

"And you're keeping those . . . things in your barn. On your property, right next to where you sleep?" Shane finally got out.

"We're keeping them in the barn until we can figure out a way to help them." Hershel answered in a calm voice. He looked at the two men, then briefly glanced at Daryl, "what have you been doing with them?"

"The hell you think we've been doin' with them? You said yourself they should be dead. Shootin' 'em in the head fixes that," Daryl explained, pointed a finger to his temple in exasperation.

Hershel's jaw dropped, he was horrified. "You've just been killing them?!"

"We're putting them out of their misery and keeping them from killing us! Those things aren't human, they're undead monsters. They're trying to eat us for God's sake!" Shane said loudly.

"You don't know why! You don't even know what's wrong with them. Nobody does, we don't know a damn thing about what happened or what's going on!"

Rick had put his hands on his head at Hershel's response, looking away as if not sure what to do or say. I watched him shake his head a couple times and rub his eyes, thinking.

"I know those things are trying to kill us and that the less of them there are out there the safer we'll be!" Shane argued with Hershel, I could hardly even think with the new information and the arguing.

Rick gave a single nod, "it's not smart to have a mess of them pinned up not thirty feet from your house."

"Not smart? Not smart! It's insane!" Shane turned red in the face, pursing his lips as he glared at Hershel, "what in God's name is wrong with you?! Having those things near your kids! Your home!" Shane turned to Rick, and even looked at Daryl. It was easy to tell he was checking for support. "We should go in that barn right now and shoot every Goddamned one of them in the head!"

I looked up at Daryl, his eyes held a hard expression. I knew he was angry, he just hadn't really shown it yet. He nodded quickly at Shane's words, pulling his crossbow off his shoulder and positioning it firmly in his hands, as if preparing.

In the distance, behind the men arguing, I could see some of the group. I saw Carol and Lori peering our way, slowly coming forward.

I couldn't tell if Hershel looked more angry, or more horrified, "No-"

"-It's not safe for them to be here! We need to kill them before they kill us!" Shane shouted.

"My son is in there, damn it!" Hershel yelled. He glared hard at Shane and Rick, who were shocked into silence. After a moment, Hershel took a deep breath and hung his head low.

"Your son?" Rick repeated, as if looking for confirmation or denial.

"Shawn was bitten," Hershel's eyes were closed, he kept his head down. His voice trembled as he spoke. "I-I couldn't help him. After a few hours . . . he died, and turned into one of them. I didn't know what else to do, so we put him in the barn. He attacked, tried to kill us, he bit my wife . . . I couldn't kill him . . . I couldn't bring myself to do that. I couldn't kill my wife. She wanted so badly to know what happened to him, why it happened. She kept saying we can fix this. I told her I would-they-us . . . it'd be fixed before . . . she . . ."

There was silence, Hershel looked up then, his eyes were red and wet. He looked toward the barn, "when we found others we just . . . just kept them too."

Shane stared at the barn as well, I could tell he was deep in thought but his expression had softened quite a bit.

Rick came forward, placing his hand on Hershel's shoulder. "Hershel, I-I'm really sorry, I truly am. I can't imagine what you've been going through. If I had lost Carl, I don't . . . I don't know what I would have done. I don't think I could live without my son. But you've got to listen to me. That thing in the barn . . . it's not your son, and not your wife."

Hershel smacked Rick's hand away. "Get your hand off of me! Not my son?! What made you such an expert?! I don't know about you but those things don't come with an instruction manual! We don't know a damn thing about them, we don't know what they're thinking, what they're feeling. We don't know if it's a disease or side effects of some kind of chemical warfare! We don't know anything! For all we know these things could wake up tomorrow, heal up, and be completely normal again! We just don't know. You could have been murdering all those people you 'put out of their misery'."

Rick stepped closer to Hershel again, this time not touching him. "They're dead. before they get back up, before they try to eat you, they die. You said you saw your son die, he's dead. Those things are rotting corpses, with pieces missing. They're not sick people, they're dead. Before we got here, we tried the CDC, there was this scientist who showed us footage of the brain. We saw with our own eyes. The brain shuts down when the person turns. It was very much dead!"

"It wouldn't be the first time science got something wrong. Listen, these things could be in the early stages of recovery, they could be healing. And that's why things aren't working right. This is all completely unknown to us. We've got no clue how to handle this. I don't want to have blood on my hands if we find out these people are alive."

Shane's soft expression vanished, showing frustration and desperation. "No, they're dead! I've seen those things with their damn guts hanging out! What you're saying doesn't make a damn bit of sense!"

Rick turned on Shane putting his hand on his shoulder to push him back some. "Shane."

"You can't-"

"-Shane." Rick said again, "enough. Stop."

Shane looked away from Hershel, string Rick hard in the face before turning away from both of them.

"How many do you have in there?" Rick asked.

Hershel "fourteen. We had to raid nearby houses for supplies, blankets, kerosine and what not. All our neighbors had turned. Its mostly them and their kids . . . and a couple who had wandered onto the property. They can't get out of the barn. We've got them locked up tight. We're completely safe here. You don't have to worry."

And just like that, Hershel turned away, walking back to his house.

The front doors to the barn were chained shut, Shane was standing in front of the doors, peeking through the crack between them.

The yelling between Hershel and Shane attracted the attention of most of the group, but not all. Lori, Carl, and Carol had started approaching, wondering what was going on. Rick went to go get the others so they could all discuss the matter while Shane began explaining it to Lori and Carol. Once everyone was together, they all decided they wanted to go see the barn. I didn't really see the point in that, they knew the Walkers were inside, so what would staring at the barn do?

Everyone in the group was there, except for Guillermo and of course Sophia. Lori told Carl to go back to our camp or the house, not wanting him to go to the barn. But as soon as she turned her back and the group started toward it, Carl followed anyway. No one told me anything, so I followed Carl.

"You cannot tell me you are all right with this." Shane said to Rick after walking away from the barn. I missed the beginning of the conversation, but it looked like Rick had been too silent for Shane's liking.

"No, I'm not, but we're guests here," Rick said, his face contorted with anger, hand on his gun holster. "This is not our land."

"This is our lives, man!"

"Lower your voice!" Glenn warned fiercely, shouting in a hushed voice while staring anxiously at the barn.

"We cannot just sweep this under the rug," Lori said. Carl and I were standing a few feet behind her and T-Dog.

"It ain't right," T-Dog agreed," not remotely."

"We either gotta go in there, make things right, or we just gotta go." Shane informed, a hand on his hip, "we've been talking about Fort Benning for a while now-"

Rick shook his head and cut him off, "-we can't go."

"Why, Rick, why?"

"Because my daughter is not well yet," Carol told him, her eyes narrowed.

Lori stepped forward, placing a hand on Carol's shoulder, "Sophia isn't fit to stand let alone travel. Even once she wakes up, the poor girl needs time. She can't be out there again, not so soon. None of us can."

"No, no way." Glenn said, "we're safe here."

"No, in no way is this safe. In no way is this better. We were safe the night of the fish fry, look what happened. It only takes one mistake, these things could get out." Shane said.

Anxiety made a knot in my stomach as I thought about the fish fry. I thought about Jim and a felt pang of grief, remembering him and the shovel he saved my life with.

Carl and I were pretty far from the barn, but as I thought back on that night I subconsciously took a step back, recalling the Walkers face that had been so close when I was hiding under the RV. That Walker had been weakened, pinned to the ground with me by the bottom of the RV, that was the only reason I was able to kill it.

What would've happened if Rick, Daryl, Glenn, and T-Dog didn't come back in time with those guns?

Then I recalled that morning at the school when Carl wanted to explore, I wondered what would've happened if Rick hadn't come in with his gun and shot that Walker.

"Then let's make sure they don't!" Glenn said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Shane shook his head, "you're making it sound like that's easy. We don't have the guns ready if a mistake is made. Hershel's rule: only Rick and I carry our guns. What happens if we're needed for another problem when this one decides to bite us in the ass?"

I looked off past Shane, seeing Daryl round the corner of the barn, back our way. I had glanced at him every so often, this was the second time he circled the barn. He was studying the walls, and every so often pushing on a wood panel or knocking on one.

"The man's right," T-Dog argued at Glenn, "we can't leave 'em in there. And what happens when more come? Hershel doesn't want us to kill 'em. We can't keep putting more in there, can't add to the danger."

"How many did he say were in there?" Glenn asked, looking away from T-Dog who shook his head at him.

"Yo, man, does it matter? One is more than enough for me."

"Fourteen," Rick answered.

T-Dog made a whistling sound and shook his head again.

"Can't let this go, Rick. You know we can't," Shane said, crossing his arms.

"We're not killing them. Not now, not yet."

"We can't leave the Geeks in there to kill us later," T-Dog disagreed.

Dale, who had been a bit further off to the side, finally decided to go forward. "Hershel sees those things as people, sick people. His wife, his son." Dale reminded.

"The man is crazy, Rick," Shane insisted. "If Hershel thinks those things are alive-"

"-Just let me talk to Hershel, let me figure it out."

"Man, what're you gonna figure out?!"

"If we're gonna stay, if we're going to clear this barn I have to talk him into it. This is his land!"

"And if you can't do that, then what?"

"Then we get the hell outta here!" T-Dog stressed.

"No!" Rick practically barked.

There was silence after that, most of them were staring at Rick or the barn. I saw movement beside me and saw Carl walking away. He wasn't going toward the house or the barn but rather out into the field.

I followed him, and once he noticed me walking behind him, he slowed his pace so we walked side by side.

"Are we going to leave?"

I shrugged again as we walked, "don't ask me."

"I hope we stay."

"Why?" I looked at him, watching his expression.

"I like it here," He admitted. "Sophia will too. This place, it could be a home."

"Why do you like it so much? Haven't been here long."

"The Walkers, we haven't seen any since we got here."

I opened my mouth, lifting my hand to point to the barn but Carl continued talking.

"We haven't seen them. They can't get us, my dad will fix it. Don't you want to stay?" He asked, stopping in his tracks.

I stopped with him, I hesitated before speaking. "Doesn't matter what I want."

"Yes it does."

"No," I said, not really wanting to argue. "We're kids, what we want doesn't mean shit."

Carl looked away from me, silent for a few moments before starting to walk again.

"Is Glenn a kid?"

After wondering why he was asking me such a thing I glanced behind us at the group. Glenn was talking to Rick. I wasn't sure how to answer Carl. Glenn didn't look like a kid, but he didn't look like an adult either.

"I guess?" I answered, still not sure. "I think he's in the middle. But they listen to him and tell him stuff."

"Carl!" We heard Lori yell, snapping our heads in her direction. She beckoned us over with a hand motion and we saw the group beginning to walk back to the house.

We both started to walk back. But after a few steps Carl veered off in another direction, then stopped a few feet away. I narrowed my eyes at him, confused by his strange behaviour.

I went over to where he stood to see him staring at the ground. I followed his eyes, on the ground was the corpse of a small bird. It hadn't been dead long, but long enough for some ants and flies to find it.

"Should we tell someone?" He asked.

I shook my head, "nothin' to do with it. Leave it be. Somethin'll come and get it eventually."

"Like what?"

"I dunno, another bird? Everythin's food for somethin' else."

I started walking when Lori called out again, Carl followed silently. Lori was standing, waiting for us. When we reached her, Carl spoke. "What's going on, mom?"

"It's alright, baby." She answered, stroking his head. "We're going to talk to Hershel."

I wondered who she meant by we.

I wasn't sure how Carl talked me into it, I was starting to get really frustrated and angry with him, with myself for agreeing to do it.

"You're doing it again," he told me.

"No, I'm not." I said through clenched teeth. Snap!

A frustrated growling sound escaped my throat and I slammed the pencil down on the small end table. Carl took the pencil from the table and the sharpener. I crossed my arms, watching as he sharpened the pencil once again.

"I told you I couldn't do this."

"You just have to keep trying, it's easy."

"It's stupid."

"Just because something makes you mad doesn't mean it's stupid."

I looked down at the paper. To me it was a bunch of meaningless scribbles, to Carl they were letters and failed attempts to write my name.

Carl and I were sitting on the floor of the porch across from each other at a small table. The table was between two of the porch chairs before Carl moved it for us. Carl had gotten that shoebox again from the girl named Beth, who I still hadn't really met. Not that I really wanted too, I had met more people in the previous several weeks then I had in my entire life. I was pretty sure I'd met enough people.

Our attention was diverted by Rick leaving Hershel's house. He went in a while before to go talk to Hershel. Rick walked off the porch, not even noticing our presence. Shane approached him near the porch steps almost immediately, he must've been waiting close by but I hadn't noticed.

"Well, what did he say?"

"We're negotiating," Rick answered, stopping in front of him.

"You're nego . . ." Shane stopped mid-word, scoffing. "Clocks ticking, Rick."

"No it isn't, Shane. That barn, the barn is secure, we didn't even know about it until this morning."

"Well, we know about it now, right? We know there's over a dozen Walkers in there. We know that it's a stone's throw from where we sleep. So, look, if we're not gonna go in there and clear it out then we just gotta go."

"We're not gonna clear it out and we're not gonna go."

"We at least need more guns, there's only two of us, that's not-"

"-We can't! We can't have everyone carrying, that's the rule."

"Why do you want us to stay here when it's not safe?"

"We can make it safe."

"How we gonna do that?"

"We will, okay?"

"How we gonna make it safe?"

"We will, ok-"

"-No, man, it's not okay!"

Rick put a hand to his face, rubbing his eyes. As if he could somehow rub the frustration out. It seemed like almost a silly gesture to me. Rick turned away from Shane, taking a deep breath before looking at him again.

"We can't leave, not with Sophia in this condition."

"Then we don't take her with us," Shane responded.

Carl straightened up, I thought for a moment he would stand and say something, but he just kept watching silently.

Rick gave Shane a look of shock, maybe even disgust, "are you saying-"

Shane suddenly shook his head, raising his hands in a defensive manner, "-no, no. I didn't . . . I meant we go, maybe just a few of us to Fort Benning, see what's there. If it's safe, if there's something there we come back for Sophia and whoever else. Then at least, we know."

"No, absolutely not. We stay together. We can't lose the man power if something happens here."

"Then we need more guns!" Shane argued.

"No, I can work this out."

Shane stared at Rick for several moments, "there something you're not telling me?"

"I need you to trust me, please. At least for now, it's best we stay."

"What's going on that we can't go and find a safer place? They could have a refugee camp."

"Shane. Not here, I can't talk about it now. But we need to stay, at least until Sophia is better. So I have time to figure this out."

"Figure what out?"

Rick didn't respond.

Shane sighed, "fine. We stay, we need the guns."

"No-"

"-Rick, please. Just think about this for a minute. Hear me, will you? The two of us carrying is not enough, especially if we're gonna leave those things in the barn, someone needs to be on guard. I know you agree with me on that. You want to guard it all day, and while you sleep I do it all night? No. That's way too much, then if we're paying attention to the barn and nothing else, all hell could break lose too far for us to see it. We aren't going to clear the barn out, fine, but we need more precautions. We didn't take them the night of the fish fry and look what happened. We didn't have the guns, now we do. We have to use them."

"How could I convince, Hershel?" Rick asked after thinking about it, seeming to agree. "We're trained professionals, none of them are."

"I'm thinking."

"What if we show him? T-Dog, Glenn and Dale: they have experience, we could set up targets, show him-"

"-Not gonna work. Glenn only holds a gun when he needs to, he barely has any experience and no practice. T-Dog and Dale may be a bit better but I can't tell you with all confidence they'll hit the target ten outta ten times. And for Hershel to only let us carry, that's what he's gonna be looking for."

Rick's eyebrows were furrowed, obviously thinking hard. "They need to be trained," he finally said, "you're a certified trainer."

Shane's eyes were a bit wide, he gave a nod, going deep into thought as well, "we have the ammo, that's for sure. You think he'll go with it?"

"I don't see why not, it's a reasonable approach."

Shane nodded, "let's go then."

Rick followed Shane up the porch and into the house. I looked at Carl, who only shrugged. He crawled around the table to sit closer to me.

"Watch," he said, taking the pencil. "This is how you do the B."

I ground my teeth to hold in a groan of annoyance as he used the pencil, slowly writing the letter, making sure it was large.

He gave me the pencil when he was done and I sighed. But once again, our attention was diverted to the door, this time Lori was coming out.

I narrowed my eyes at her appearance, confused. But I quickly made my expression blank, hoping she hadn't noticed. What confused me was that Lori had changed her clothes, not only that, but her hair was wet and there was a white towel around her shoulders.

"What're you two doing?"

"Nothin'," Carl answered, flipping the paper over to the blank side and taking the pencil from me. He had done it slowly, acting as if it was no big deal. "Just drawing and stuff."

I glanced at him, even more confused, but I kept my expression blank.

Why is he lying?

Lori smiled. "Come take a break. You won't be gone long, then you can come back."

"Why? Where are we going?"

"Just you for now. Toby later. Oh, hold on, gonna grab you some clothes from the RV." Lori turned and walked off the porch.

I stared at Carl, I was curious what Lori was going on about, but it wasn't the first question I had.

"Why did you lie?"

"Huh?" Carl was confused for a second, "oh, I didn't tell her I was teaching you."

"You didn't tell her that I can't read?" I asked, surprised.

"It's a secret, right?"

I thought about it, "I dunno, I just never had a reason to say otherwise. No one's really asked me either. I didn't think it mattered."

"Why didn't your dad help you? Didn't he know?"

I shrugged, "not sure."

"Why not?"

"He never asked."

Lori came back before Carl could say anything else, a small pile of clothes in her hand.

"Come on, baby."

Carl stood up, going over to Lori as she opened the door to go inside.

"Carol says she has some clothes for you," she told me, "Carl will be back soon. Go see her."

Then they went into the house. I sat there and thought about what to do. Do I really want to put energy into talking?

Carl didn't count anymore, he was much easier to talk to now that I was used to him. And he understood when I really didn't want to answer something and knew when to leave things alone. So the real question was: did I really want to put energy into talking to Carol?

I sighed and stood up, deciding I had nothing else better to do, and that I really needed the clothes. The blood on Sophia's sweater was starting to smell from the Walker I killed in the RV. Her pants, that Daryl ripped when I got cut felt awkward and probably looked ridiculous. The cut on my leg didn't hurt anymore, I was glad about that.

Just as I stood up to leave where I was I noticed I was barefoot. I forgot I took my shoes off, my socks were rolled up in my shoes. I was dreading putting them back on again, my feet were still hurting and I didn't know why. I sat down and put my socks and shoes back on, I considered just going barefoot but figured someone would just bother me to put them back on.

Once they were on I left the porch and walked over to the camp. Carol was taking down clothes that were hanging from a clothes line they hung up.

"Hey, Dale," I heard Glenn call, walking over to Dale with a book in his hand. "Wanted to return this to you. It sucked. Sorry."

Dale shook his head, taking the book, "no, I'm sorry. If I'd known the world was ending I would've brought better books."

Dale's eyes found mine in that moment and he motioned at me, "Toby hasn't complained, she's been through all I have. Though it's not much."

"Really?" Glenn turned, raising his eyebrows at me.

I felt my cheeks flush and I looked away, shrugging. For the most part, yes, I had been through all the books Dale had in his possession. I had looked through them all, but hadn't actually read them, thinking if I looking and tried hard or long enough, I could figure out how to read on my own.

"Dale, could we talk for a sec?" Glenn asked with an anxious tone. Dale stared at him for a moment before nodding and opening the door to the RV.

"Come on in," he said as Glenn stepped inside. Dale followed him in, closing the door behind him.
I turned to where Carol was and approached her. She noticed me quickly and smiled.

"I have your clothes here for you, from the CDC. I was planning on washing them sooner . . . but . . . well, once I started here I did yours first."

"Oh," I said, watching her as she turned to a basket on the ground filled with folded clothes. She lifted a few up to get mine from the bottom of the pile and gave them to me. It was my jeans and long sleeved black shirt.

"Thanks . . ." I said awkwardly, feeling grateful but a bit guilty. I didn't know what to say.

"Once you get your turn to shower we'll just toss away what you have on now, no use keeping those."

"Shower?"

She nodded, "their plumbing is connected to a well and they have a generator. So, the water heater is working. Everyone can have a nice hot shower, I had mine this morning. They're telling us one at a time so everyone has a turn with the hot water and we're not lining up or fighting over it."

I nodded, looking down at my feet. That was why Lori's hair was wet, must be why she took Carl.

"Sophia will enjoy that once she wakes up," Carol added. "Your turn should be soon. We'll get you out of those clothes, when you're clean and changed just bring them to me, I'll get rid of them. There's just no use washing it."

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, feeling bad I'd ruined Sophia's clothes.

"Oh, no, don't worry about it. We've all been through a lot these past few days, Sophia has plenty of clothes."

Lucky her

"You just worry about getting washed up. We'll all be having dinner tonight, we're making dinner for Hershel and his family, to say thank you."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "inside?"

She nodded, turning back to the clothes line and taking down clothes.

I looked at the house, trying to imagine us all in there eating, it would be weird to eat inside an actual house after so long. We did eat in the CDC but that was still plenty awkward and uncomfortable.

I wriggled my toes in my shoes, I was so sick of the throbbing. I turned and started to go to Daryl's tent. When I got there I sat in the grass beside the tent and put my clothes down. Then I all but ripped my shoes and socks off once again.

What's going on with me? I've had them on for less than ten minutes.

My toes were red, I squeezed them with my fingers and released, hoping to massage them a bit.

Looking up and around I saw someone leaning against the RV, opposite to everyone in the camp so no one saw him. Surprisingly enough, Guillermo had finally left the RV.

He wore a troubled expression as he stared at the ground. After watching him for a few moments I stood up, feeling the grass beneath my barefeet was a relaxing sensation. Hesitantly, I walked over to him.

I stopped a few feet in front of him. I wasn't sure if he noticed me because he didn't look up right away, but once he did he didn't look surprised to see me. We stared at each other for several moments, he scanned me up and down with his eyes, looking utterly confused.

"Where are we?" He finally asked.

I furrowed my eyebrows, is he kidding? "Here?" I answered, "a farm."

"Do you live here?"

I shook my head, "we're just stayin' here."

"Me and you? And these other people? They're with Rick?"

I nodded, "we sat together on the way here, in the RV."

"We did?"

I nodded again, I couldn't tell who was more confused, me or him.

"I don't remember leaving," he admitted, "I remember every scream, every shot, the crying . . . the blood . . . but I don't remember leaving."

He was still looking me in the eyes, his looked watery and tired. I was getting a bit nervous.

"Must've been scary," I said.

"Still scary now," he told me. "When did I leave? How long has it been?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "maybe you should talk to a grown up?" I suggested, because you're freaking me out.

"Who?"

I shrugged, "whoever you want. Not Daryl though, I don't think he likes you," I said, remembering how Daryl yelled at him after I killed that Walker in the RV.

He thought about it before nodding, "good to know."

Guillermo turned around started to walk passed me, he was just turned the corner of the RV when I heard Rick calling out. I followed Guillermo and walked out from behind the RV. Rick and Shane were on the porch trying to get the groups attention.

"We've come to an agreement with Hershel," Rick announced once everyone was gathered and listening. The only one who wasn't there was Carl, but Lori was near the porch.

"We taking those fuckers out or what?" T-Dog called out.

"The Walkers stay," Shane said, not looking happy about it, "for now."

"We came to an agreement with Hershel about our gun use. Shane is a certified trainer. For those who want to we'll be holding training sessions. Whoever completes training will be allowed to carry."

Shane stepped forward, his hand on his hips, "I'll be going back to the traffic jam with whoever else wants to go to gather fuel, vehicles, and anything else we can find. We get the vehicles, I'll be going out to find us an area to train. We don't want the noise attracting more Walkers or aggravating the ones in the barn. I'll need some hands, who's up for it?"

"I'm in," T-Dog volunteered.

Glenn nodded, he was closer to the porch, "yeah, okay."

"Walkers?" Guillermo asked, looking more confused than ever.

I wasn't sure what he was asking with the one word question. Is he asking about the Walkers here or what Walker is? I really couldn't tell.

Guillermo didn't press when I didn't answer. Shane walked off the porch and got together with Glenn and T-Dog. The front door opened, Maggie walked out of the house and started talking to Rick. I watched them as they conversed, then Rick looked around, as if searching, his eyes stopped at me and he pointed.

I pressed my lips together, startled that my presence was acknowledged. Maggie smiled when she saw me then followed Rick down the porch steps. Anxiety made a knot in my stomach, not liking the attention that was on me.

As they approached, Rick's expression grew serious, "Guillermo, how are you doing?"

Guillermo didn't answer right away, in fact he replied, but never answered, "you think me and you could talk?"

"Of course." Rick turned to me, "Toby, have you met Maggie yet?"

I nodded.

"Would you be okay with her for a bit?"

I narrowed my eyes, not sure what he was asking.

"I'm just gonna show you where the shower is," Maggie said quickly, maybe noticing my confusion. "Do you have . . . Where are your shoes?"

I glanced down at my feet, then pointed over to Daryl's tent.

"Do you want to go get them?"

"Not really," I answered.

"Well," Rick said, looking away from me, "Guillermo, you want to go have that talk?"

Guillermo nodded and both the men walked off.

"Okay. Do you have some clean clothes to change into?"

I nodded my head and turned to walk back to Daryl's tent. I once again wondered where he was while I picked up my clothes from the ground, leaving my shoes behind. I followed Maggie to the house and she showed me where the shower was.

I was sitting in the tub, my knees to my chest and my head on my knees. The water from the shower faucet pouring down all sides of my head and through my hair.

As soon as the water was on and Maggie was gone, I started to sob uncontrollably. It was the first time I was able to be alone without having to worry about anyone else, or getting in trouble, or being talked too. I felt so tired but I didn't want to sleep. I was hungry but had no idea who to ask, I hadn't seen anybody eating. Only Carol mentioned dinner so I decided to just wait until then. I really didn't want to ask.

I wanted to be home, where I could do what I wanted or needed without having to be around people or ask for things. I tried to stop myself from crying, embarrassed and ashamed of myself, but I couldn't. When I tried it felt like the sobs would tear my throat open, trying to let out silent screams that desperately wanted to escape. I wish I could've screamed, I wanted to so bad. I was angry, sad, hurt, hungry, and tired.

I was confused with how I felt about Daddy. I wanted him back so we could go home, but every time I thought about it a sick feeling made my stomach churn. Did that mean I didn't want to go home?

There was a knock at the door and my head shot up, I held my breathe, trying to be quiet so no one would know I'd been crying.

"Toby," Maggie called, "you okay? You've been in there awhile."

"Y-Yeah!" I called out. Maggie didn't say anything else after that. I stood up, trying to calm myself down as I reached for the shampoo. I paused for a moment, wondering if I was even allowed to use it. Then I decided no one would notice if I just used a little.

I tried to finish quickly, wanting to get out and avoid more questions, I didn't mean to take as long as I did.

I turned the water off and got out when I was done. Before reaching for the towel hanging up, my eyes caught the mirror. My face was flushed and my eyes bloodshot, whether it was from the heat of the water or crying I didn't know. Maybe it was both.

The mirror was always something I constantly avoided, I couldn't even remember the last time I looked in one. I stared at myself, my eyes went down to my bare chest and I brought my hand up, running my fingers along three cigarette burns that had left their mark under my collarbone. Those ones in particular were older, whitish in colour and fading.

I turned in the mirror, examining a scar that curved over my shoulder from my back. I kept turning, exposing more of my back to the mirror. My lip quivered just as the scars caught my eye, I clenched my teeth and grabbed the towel to dry off.

As I dried off I couldn't stop thinking about what Daddy would've done if he'd been around. I couldn't even count how many times he would've given me the belt with all the things I'd done with the group. I stole a gun, told a cop to fuck off, went off by myself, and probably mentioned lots of the things he never wanted me to repeat.

When I was dry enough I put my pants on. I hadn't worn them in a few days and the first thing I noticed was they weren't as big. First being at the Quarry, the jeans fit fine, a few weeks later I could no longer tuck my knife into my waistband, showing either the waistband stretched or I lost weight. Now they seemed to be back the way they were.

I put my long sleeved black shirt on next, the fabric clung to me much more then I remembered. I pulled on the hem and the sleeves repeatedly, wondering why it was suddenly so uncomfortable. After a moment I disregarded it and wiped the water off the floor from the towel and hung it back up, not entirely sure what to do with it.

I picked up the clothes I borrowed from Sophia off the floor with one hand and left the bathroom. I looked around, not seeing anybody I made my way down the hall. As I turned a corner I bumped into Maggie.

"Bet you feel much better after that, huh?" She smiled.

"I, uh . . . I hung the towel back up . . ." I told her, still tugging on my shirt with my free hand.

"That's fine." She looked down at my hands, "something wrong with your shirt?"

I paused my actions, looking down and shrugging.

"Too hot?"

I shook my head, "tight, I guess."

She paused a moment, "do this."

I raised my head to look at her as she rose her arms over her head.

I narrowed my eyes and she nodded her head, motioning for me to do it too. Hesitantly, I raised my arms straight up, and as I did, I felt the hem of my shirt rise up my stomach.

Maggie put her arms down, "I think that may be a bit small for you. You have something else to change into?"

I just stared, not sure how to answer. I had that pink shirt Merle gave me, but it was dirty and the sleeved stained with blood from skinning and gutting squirrels. I didn't have anything, I felt embarrassed and didn't want to admit it. It seemed like I was the only one who didn't have clothes.

Maggie furrowed her eyebrows at my lack of response. "Maybe we have something for you,. Would you like me to see?"

I hesitated, then nodded.

"Come on," she led me down the hall to a closed door. She knocked on the door, "Beth?!"

When no one answered she opened the door and walked into a bedroom, "she's probably off somewhere with Jimmy."

Maggie walked over to a tall dresser and started going through different drawers. "She won't be your size of course, be a bit big, but better than that I'm sure. I'll probably have to make another run into town, there's a pharmacy I usually go to, I think they have some clothes there. If not there are other stores, I'll take a look around for you."

"Really?" I asked.

"'Course, can't go around with one set of clothes, and I can't give you any of her pants, definitely won't do you any good. You're such a tiny thing."

"I can't take her clothes." I said as Maggie held some fabric up, showing a red t-shirt.

"Sure you can."

"But she didn't say-"

"-I said. I'm the big sister, know what that means?" she said with a crooked smile. "What I say goes. Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

I shook my head as she put the red t-shirt on the bed, I bit my lip. Not liking the idea of no sleeves.

"I'll give you this one too, so you have a second," she showed be a light blue button up with long sleeves. "Can keep this for another time. You can go ahead and change in here."

Maggie left me alone and shut the door behind her. I put down Sophia's clothes and took off my black shirt to put on the red one. It was a thin fabric and really comfortable, I liked it a lot. It was weird having my arms bare. I took the button up and put it on over the T-shirt, leaving it unbuttoned. That way I had sleeves at least. They were too big for me, but I didn't mind it.

I picked up my shirt, Sophia's clothes and left the room.

"Oh," Maggie looked surprised. "You put on both. Looks really nice. I'm gonna try and see if I can make that run into town tomorrow, I think dad needs some things so I can look for you too."

"Thank you," I said as we walked.

"Let me know if you need anything else," she said as we stepped on the porch.

I stopped right away, seeing Daryl's eyes on me. He was a few feet away from the porch. He walked up to me, "was wondering where you went off too."

I glanced at Maggie, "Maggie gave me clothes."

"I'm going to be keeping an eye on the barn 'til the others get back. Wanted to make sure you weren't off doing something stupid."

"I'm not." I said, "I won't."

He nodded, "good."

I wondered who he meant by the others, then I remembered that Shane, T-Dog and Glenn were going back to the highway.

Daryl was about to turn away and I started walking down the steps. He did a double take, stopping in his tracks, "where are your shoes?"

I pointed to his tent, "there."

"Put 'em on, before someone gives you shit," he said, then turned and walked away.

I paused, turning to Maggie, "thank you."

"Your welcome, it's no problem. Don't you worry about the shirts, Beth won't mind."

I nodded, feeling awkward and not sure what else to say, "bye . . ."

She gave a little wave, "bye."

Maggie turned to go back into the house and I started toward the tent. I put my shoes back on, reluctantly, but left my socks behind. I thought maybe not wearing the socks would help.

I went inside the tent to put my black shirt in my bag, not sure what else to do with it. When that was done I left the tent to find Carol so I could give her Sophia's clothes back.

Feeding chickens was something I never did before. I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. I liked feeding the chicks especially, I tried and failed to pet them a few times. I tried luring them closer with food which did work, but they would back away every time I reached my hand out.

I was crouched on the ground and Carl was standing over me, glancing at the babies every so often while tossing food at the other chickens. Lori was sitting nearby, reading a book I didn't recognize so I didn't think it was one of Dale's. I guessed she either got it from the CDC it from someone living in the house.

"They don't have a mother," Carl said.

I glanced up at him, he wore a neutral expression. I looked back to the babies and then around, searching. None of the big chickens seemed to take notice of the babies, or go very close.

Lori looked up from her book, it took her a moment to realize what Carl was talking about. But after seeing him looking at the babies she told him before looking back at her book, "she might be somewhere else."

"Maybe she got eaten," Carl thought out loud. Causing Lori to look up, clearly surprised.

Carl merely shrugged at her expression, "everything's food for something else."

I watched Lori's expression, she definitely didn't look too happy with what Carl was saying. I wasn't sure why but I kept quiet anyway, not wanting to give her any indication I was the one who told him that.

Carl either didn't acknowledge her expression, or simply ignored it. He crouched down to the bucket on the ground to grab a handful of chicken feed. He stood up, then tossed little bits at a time. Lori was watching him closely.

"When does gun training start?" he asked.

Lori hesitated, "maybe tomorrow. That depends on Shane and your father. They need to find a place to do it."

"You've had training before, right?" he turned to me, "that how you knew how to use Shane's gun?"

I felt heat rise to my cheeks, embarrassed as I recalled the memory. "Daddy taught me some."

"ARe you still going to do the training?"

I opened my mouth to answer but Lori spoke before I could, "No, you kids won't be participating."

"Carl's eyes went wide at Lori's statement, "what? Why not?"

"Because it has nothing to do with you."

"But that's-"

"-Carl, I said no."

Carl glared at Lori, they stared each other down for several moments. When Carl finally broke his glare, it was to storm away.

I glanced at Lori, she was watching him as he walked off, for a moment I thought she might go after him. Instead, she sighed, shook her head and went back to her book.

I stayed there for a while, watching some of the chickens. The silence was nice. Every once and awhile I would look over my shoulder, but there was never a Walker.

"Lori," Carol called out as she approached the chicken coop, getting Lori's attention, "it's getting late, should we get started on dinner?"

Lori closed her book and stood up, "oh, you're right. I almost forgot."

I watched as Lori left with Carol, they talked on their way to the house but I didn't pay attention to what they were saying.

My stomach cramped up and I tried to ignore it, I was hungry, and beginning to shake from not eating. Just wait a little longer, I urged. I looked down at the chicks, trying to distract myself. I noticed one of them was very close with it's back turned to me.

All of my earlier attempts to catch one of them had failed. But this time, I reached forward slowly, the chick wasn't paying any attention to me. I was able to scoop the chick up with both my hands. I held it tight, but not tight enough to hurt it. For a moment, the chick squirmed and chirped loudly, but quickly seemed to calm down.

Excitement bubbled inside me, I couldn't believe the satisfaction that came from holding something so small, soft, and warm. I turned my head, almost looking for someone to show, but no one was around. I stroked the chick's head with my thumb gently, it closed it's eyes, seeming as if it was relaxing.

I wasn't sure how long I was there for but I knew it was a pretty long time. Carl came back long after Lori left.

"Where's my mom?" He asked, not coming very close.

"With Carol," I answered, not looking away from the chick.

"But where?"

I shrugged, "said they were makin' dinner. Inside maybe?"

He was silent for a few moments, "could you teach me how to shoot?"

"Your mom said we aren't doin' the trainin'."

"That's if my dad and Shane teach. Could you teach me?"

Distracted and confused by Carl, my grip on the chick loosened. It took that moment to squirm and jump out of my hand. It seemed content a moment before, I guessed it left because I stopped petting it's head.

"We can't."

"But you know how to use a gun, right? You said your dad taught you. So you could teach me."

"Lori said the trainin' had nothin' to do with us, so we can't."

"But that's different, that's training with everyone else."

"Not really," I said, standing up. "She said no, so we couldn't even get guns to do it anyway."

I stared at Carl, trying to figure out why we were having this conversation. He can't think they would let us train on our own. He isn't that stupid, right?

Carl just stood there, not saying word as he stared at me. His hands were at his sides, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

Why's he acting so weird?
"What?" I asked him, stepping closer to him.

Carl pressed his lips together before licking them nervously. He swallowed, then looked down. He lifted his hand, bringing his shirt up with it showing small pistol tucked into his waistband.

My jaw dropped while my eyes widened, staring at the gun, "where'd you get that?"
"The RV," he said, pulling his shirt down.

"Why?" I asked, completely in shock.

"I want to learn to shoot."

"So you stole a gun?!" I shouted, anxiety and frustration bubbling inside me.

He brought a finger to his lips, and stepped closer, "shh!"

"Carl, what the hell!"

"I want to help protect everyone. I need to, especially if those Walkers get out or more come. Like they came on the highway, like they came for us at the quarry. You can teach me."

"No I can't!"

"You said your dad taught you how to use-"

"-I said he taught me, I never said I was good at it!"

Carl looked confused.

I put a hand on my head and pulled at my hair in frustration. Fear was bubbling in my stomach and rising to my chest, making it feel tight. I tried to take a deep breath, instead my breathing went shaky, as did my hands.

I kept pulling at my hair slightly, trying to think of what to do. I really wanted to turn around and pretend I didn't know what he did. I almost did do that. I realized if he got caught and they figured out I knew and didn't say anything, I could be in even worse trouble. I was involved whether I liked it or not.

"You have to put it back," I said frantically, "we have to put it back before they notice."

"There's lots of guns in there. They won't notice."

"Your dad's a cop, Carl. He knows how to keep track of guns."

I clenched my teeth, my hands began to shake worse as I imagined the beating I'd get from Daddy if I was caught doing what Carl was doing. Then I imagined the beating he was going to get when he got caught.

We have to put it back now. Before they find out.

"Some of them are gone to get cars. Carol and Lori are making dinner, so they're busy. We can do it if we do it quickly."

"No, I want to do this."

"Who's gonna teach you? Even if you learn they aren't gonna let you have a gun, especially if you stole one! They're gonna be pissed, do you know what trouble we're gonna be in for this?"

"I just want to help."

"This isn't helping this is you being an idiot. You can't teach yourself and nobody's gonna teach you with a stolen gun. Think, you're just gonna get in trouble."

Carl looked down, placing his hand on his shirt over the gun. He looked disappointed and regretful, "okay . . ."

I nodded, finally letting go of my hair as I started to walk so I could get the RV in my line of sight. Dale was on the roof of the RV. I started to think, trying to figure out something to tell him so we could go in the RV.

Not a second later, we heard a car horn go off. Three cars drove around the house from the driveway, parking near the RV. There were two regular cars, and one was a pickup truck.

Shit. They're back already?

I glanced at Carl, he was looking too while biting his lip. I spotted Rick approaching the cars. Shane was driving the truck, while Glenn and T-Dog were driving the others. We were too far to hear any of them talking.

"We could . . . We could go around, from the back of the RV? Try to sneak in."

I nodded, "yeah. That can work. How did you get in there in the first place?"

"I told Dale I wanted a walkie."

"Did you get one?"

He shook his head.

"So we can't even just say we're putting it back. Damn."

Carl and I walked to the left a bit, trying to get far and circle around the RV without getting noticed. Everyone seemed rather busy, taking some bags out of the cars, I saw them take some red gas cans out too. A few minutes later we were behind the RV. Dale left the roof around the same time the cars got here. I peered around the corner of the RV, seeing some of the men.

"T," Shane called. "Can you put this bag in the RV?"

"Yeah."

I hid myself behind the RV so he wouldn't see as he went inside. I felt the RV rock slightly as T-Dog walked in. Once T-Dog got out of the RV I looked around the corner again, watching his back as he walked away.

When I was sure no one was looking, I rushed forward, "come on, let's go."

The door to the RV was already open, we climbed inside quickly. Luckily, Guillermo wasn't in the RV, but I didn't see him with the other men so I had no idea where he was.

I started toward the back of the RV, when I got in the doorway of the bedroom inside I looked around, the gun bag was on the floor in front of us.

I turned to Carl, holding my hand out, "give it to me."

The small pistol had a cylinder that spun for the magazine. Feeling the lightweight of the gun, I popped the magazine out. I furrowed my eyebrows, looking up at him.

"You seriously stole an unloaded gun to shoot?"

He looked at the gun then looked away, embarrassed. I sighed, closing the gun. My hands were still shaking a bit.

"I'll do it," he suddenly said. He moved around me and crouched to the bag, reaching to unzip the bag. He stopped just as we heard footsteps and I turned my head just as Carl took the gun from my hand. Shane had walked in the RV, looking right at us.

"What're you kids doing?"

Carl quickly moved his hand so he could hide the gun behind the wall and stood up, "nothing."

"Carl, what's in your hand?" Shane asked, coming closer.

My stomach flipped and my legs felt weak. I could tell my Shane's expression that he already saw what Carl was holding.

Sorry for the late update everyone. there are like 9 new kids at the shelter.

In a week or two I'll be turning off guest reviews, because the majority of guest reviews I end up deleted because it's people just telling me to UPDATE and how disappointed about the last time I updated. I know the last time I posted, because I was the one that did it. I'm disappointed, just as you are that I don't get to write as much as I'd like to. But as I said in previous notes, this is not a huge priority, I don't have internet, I don't have a computer, we don't have a house, and I don't even have my own bedroom. I'd appreciate those comments to stop because they are just discouraging and in no way make me want to update any faster.

But for those who leave the awesome reviews and are so patient. Thank you. Thank you for your good wishes and your understanding about my current situation.

My co-writer Rasha007 wrote two scenes that will be in the next chapter. And she is doing a sequel to her book: Roomate. It's a Daryl AU and only mature readers. Check it out.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter.