The doorbell to the Death Eater Headquarters, AKA Riddle Mansion rang. (Queen – I want it all)
Enter Lord Voldemort. Today he was sporting his lovely, crimson-
Voldemort: BLOOD RED!
-Blood red dressing gown, slightly open at the top, to expose three curly black chest hairs, indeed, the only hairs to be found on Voldemorts' body…oh my, how manly…(please note the sarcasm)
Voldemort: evil glare level one!
Padding over to the large oak door in his BLOOD RED dressing down and cute bunny slippers-
Voldemort: AVADA KE-
-he opened the door and was greeted by repetitive slapping on the head by none other than Albus Dumbledore.
'Happy Valentines Day Tom! Got to encourage that hair growth now, don't we? Remember no one will support you as Evil Ruler of the Wizarding World without a good head of hair! It even helps to increase your luck with the fan girls… Just look at Severus!'
camera cuts to Snape, barely visible under an increasing mound of women, throwing themselves bodily at his pretty carcass
And now, the author must join Mount Severus, so…The End.
Runs towards crushed Severus and women; red roses and chocolates hanging from arms