I met Michael Rooker (Merle) last weekend at comic con! I was so scared but he was the sweetest man ever! It was so much fun and I got a great picture with him.

This chapter was so hard. I hope you enjoy it.

The Dead Gone World

I held my hands together in my lap, not really sure what else to do with them. The shaking had at least stopped a few minutes before, but the sickness in my stomach wouldn't leave. I'd had some time to calm down since we left, but my chest still felt tight with panic. Would he have really shot Guillermo? I had no idea. I didn't want to know.

Shane hadn't said anything since we left. Every so often, I snuck a glance at him through the corner of my eye. He looked oddly relaxed, relieved even. He had his window open, his elbow resting on the ledge.

"There it is," the sound of his voice made me jump slightly. "We'll park if it looks safe. Then we'll take a quick peek inside, see if there's anything useful to take before we leave for good."

I followed his eyes to the road, far ahead of us I saw that shapes of several different buildings, we were arriving to the nearby town.

"I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm sorry I even did it, that wasn't right of me. I wasn't thinking straight."

It took me a moment to realise he was actually speaking to me. I turned my head to see he was looking right at me.

"You're not scared of me, are you? You know I wouldn't hurt you."

I held his gaze, unsure for a moment. But he looked completely sincere. His relaxed expression was gone and replaced by a guilty one.

"Were ya gonna do it?"

He sighed, looking away. "I want to tell you no, that I was bluffing. Heck, I want to tell me that. I . . . I don't know. My head wasn't on right, I wasn't even thinking before I pulled my gun. I'm just glad it didn't get any more out of hand than that."

Yeah, pulling your gun was bad enough, imagine if you'd actually shot the guy. I briefly wondered what would've happened then. Would I have still gotten in the car, would the others come out when they heard the shot?

"Do you think he's telling them? That you threatened him?"

Shane shook his head, "I doubt it. Probably just went back to the RV and moped some more."

I looked away. I felt disappointed in that answer for some reason. What did it matter what he said? He wasn't shot, he was fine. Shane was gone like they all wanted. And me . . . was I even part of that same conversation? I wasn't theirs, it didn't matter what happened to me.

Then I thought about Daryl. Briefly wondering what his reaction would be when he realised I was gone, and not returning. He'd probably be thrilled to have his tent to himself again.

"Shit."

"What?"

"I was planning to stop at that pharmacy Maggie always goes to, but I don't think it's up here. They said it was close to town, so it might've been the other way."

I looked out my window as we started passing some buildings. There was a Walker sitting on a bench, it stood as it caught sight of the car and began to stumble after us.

Shane slowed the car as he glanced around, "don't see a lot of Walkers, there's a general store there, we'll park. See if we can get in."

"Then what? We're not going back?"

"Kiddo . . ." he glanced at me, but wasn't sure what else to say. "We'll stop, see if there's anything useful, then start the trip to Fort Benning."

"I don't get it, why Fort Benning? What's there?"

"Hopefully, something."

It had been so hard to make a decision before, I didn't know if I wanted to go with Shane or stay behind. But in that moment, I knew, I wanted to go back.

But was it too late by then? What would happen if I brought it up, voiced my desires? The questions barrel rolled through my head, over and over, but I never even opened my mouth. Fear kept me from asking, but not fear of Shane, even after what he'd done, he'd scared me a little, but I wasn't really scared of him. He wouldn't hurt me. I was scared of something else. Since Shane had this idea to go, I was always right there, in his mind. He kept me in the plan, he wanted me there. I liked that he wanted me.

A few seconds later Shane pulled up to the side of the road. "Alright, let's go."

Shane opened his door and got out of the car. I took in a deep breath before opening my door. As soon I stepped out, a heard a few different sounds. I knew what it was before looking, the shuffling of the Walker's feet on the sidewalk wasn't what threw me, but the hissing was what terrified me.

Turning, I could see it was the same Walker I'd saw from my window just a minute ago, it wasn't very close yet. I turned to Shane, who was still standing on the other side of the car, he was looking at the Walker.

He didn't move or say anything, he only watched the Walker come closer.

"Shane?" I said, he blinked and looked at me. He reached into his pocket and held the object up for me to see. I guessed quickly, from what I'd learned from daddy, it was a jackknife.

He tossed it at me from across the car. I caught it, but only looked back at him in confusion.

"You're going to get this one."

I shook my head in horror, "I-I can't do that! I can't reach! No!"

Shane began to walk around the car, brandishing his gun for me to see, "I got your back. But you have to do this. If it goes bad I'll help, but at some point you'll need to do this on your own. You've killed Walkers before."

I looked at the Walker, all to aware of how close it was getting, "that's different."

The first Walker had been lying down under the RV with me, it was easy, the second had been to focused on Guillermo to see me climbing on the bed and jumping on it's back. This one was taller, skinnier, and standing straight up.

"So make it the same."

"What?"

"If you can't reach, the best thing to do would be to make him your height. Knock it down."

"How?"

"Go for it's legs, the knees. You're smarter than it is. You can do this."

I stared down at the knife as the fear rose into my chest. With my free hand, I pulled the blade out of it's handle, unfolding it. Taking a deep breathe, I knew Shane was right. At some point I would have to figure this out, I couldn't just wait for myself to grow taller. Who knows if I would even live that long.

Examining the Walker, I could tell something was wrong with it's right leg, it was almost practically dragging it as it stumbled it's way to me. It reached out as it got closer, stretching its arms as much as possible, as if it would help get to me faster. I couldn't wait anymore, I would have to go to it before it got to me.

I could feel Shane watching me, a feeling suddenly overcame me, enveloping me as it drove me into determination. I was suddenly confident, almost prideful, I would prove Shane right. I could do it, I could be useful, I could be more than just the tiny little girl everyone pitied.

I darted myself toward the Walker, trying to ignore any fear I had. But when I did that, I realised how much fear was my ally. It helped me focus, it kept me in check to stay just out of reach of it's arms, helping me to duck under them and turn myself around the beast. Before it could even register what I'd done, I swung my foot hard at it's supporting leg. I'd hit it much higher than I'd meant to, but it was still effective.

Losing it's support, its weight immediately went to it's right leg, which very quickly gave out from under it. The Walker fell on it's side, but quick twisted itself around to try and look at me. Just as it was turning, I quickly stepped around it, my movements much too quick for it. I lifted my foot, using it to push down on the Walker's shoulder to lay it flat on the cement. Once I had it on it's back, it tried to reach me with it's other arm. I placed my foot on the free arm, pinning it. Then I shifted my other foot, moving it from it's shoulder, down it's arm to keep it in place. Then I made myself drop down on my knees, digging them into its shoulders. I raised the knife up with both hands and slammed it down, hard into its forehead. As soon as the blade penetrated it's brain, the movements and struggle all stopped.

Seeing it was dead, really dead, I lifted my head. Shane was only a few feet away, holding his gun out, ready to help if he needed to. He was staring down at the Walker and began to lower his gun, he raised his eyes to mine and they shone with emotion. His mouth widened into a large smile.

I saw a lot of emotion in his face, excitement, relief, but one stood out from all of it. Pride.

Seeing his pride, I began to feel my own as I looked down at my accomplishment. But once I looked down, I saw something very unsettling. The Walker was clearly dead, but it didn't look any deader than it had been when it was walking after me. It was the same rotting face and discoloured eyes, the same empty eyes, empty expression. There was only one difference, it was not moving.

It made me think of Carol, her frantic and pleading expression for Shane to kill her. But her eyes had held that same emptiness, she'd already been dead, she knew it, she could feel it coming. I'd killed a Walker before, but this felt different. It was the first time I'd really had to think about it, I had killed a dead thing. We were killing the dead.

I forced myself to stand, taking my nose further from the scent of it's rot. But I didn't take my eye away from it's dead ones.

I didn't need them, those people I barely knew. I didn't need their pity, their grief. Their fake and feeble attempts to act like they cared, their weak minds that were still trapped in the old world. Staring down at the death that was below me, I could see the world now, everything was dead. Not dead enough, but it would be.

Waiting for Daddy, wondering where he was and what he was doing made me just as weak as they were, it kept me trapped in the mind of how things were before. Things weren't the same, they never would be.

Daddy was gone, Mama was gone, but that didn't matter. I had Shane.

Just as I thought his name I lifted my head, he was still standing there, watching me. As if he knew that I was thinking very hard. He kept his distancing, to give me space. I stepped off the corpse and walked over to him.

Looking at Shane then, felt different. I felt like I could really see him. His eyes shone with understanding, and I knew that he could see my realisation, my brief mourning of the world. He'd come to this realisation a while ago, before me, before anyone in the group. I could see what he saw. The world was dead, the people in that world had all died. Even us, we had died with that world.

Shane placed his hands on my shoulder when I reached him, his gun in his holster.

"I told you. That was great." He beamed at me.

I forced a small and sad smile, feeling proud of myself, but still taking a moment of the depression the realisation had give me. "Really?"

"No question. I'm so proud of you. Now you know what you can do."

I nodded. He pulled me closer, hugging me, I didn't raise my arms to hug him back, I felt stiff. I closed my eyes, savouring the comforting contact I wasn't used to. He kept it brief, which both relieved and disappointed me. I said nothing.

Shane turned around, scanning the area. Very far down the road there were two figures, Walkers. They were far and hadn't noticed us yet.

"We can take them," I thought outloud.

Shane shook his head, "no more detours, not unless necessary. Let's just try and get in."

I nodded looking to the front door of the store. There was a metal gate behind the glass, we would obviously have to break in somehow. But Shane didn't move. I looked back at him, curious as to what he was waiting for, the he stepped in front of me, holding his gun out.

"Take it," he urged. "I want you to hold on to this from now on, you need to protect yourself."

My eyes widened, "But-"

"-As long as I'm around you, I'll do what I can to keep you safe. Remember what I told you before? That door swings both ways. I'll watch out for you and you'll watch out for me. And with this, you can also look out for yourself too."

I stared back at him, hesitating. Sure, I'd used his gun before, but this felt different. It felt final. Slowly, I raised my hand to take the weapon.

"What about you?" I asked.

"I have a spare," he smirked. When I took the gun from him, he turned back to the car, I watched as he went into the passengers side and pulled a pistol from the glove box.

"Got extra ammo in there for the Glock too," He smiled at me, brandishing the weapon as if it was an improvement.

He didn't say anything else about the gun. I didn't either. We tried getting in through the front door, when that didn't work we decided to try and find a back door. We went down an alley on the left side of the building, the alley was heavily shaded by both tall building that stood on either side of it, on the other end looked like an opening to a backstreet.

Not too far down the alley, we came across a metal door. It was locked with chains and a large padlock. Shane contemplating it for a moment before using the butt of his handgun to smash it twice.

"Damn it," he sighed went it didn't work. He stepped back, pointing the gun at the lock, "step back and turn around."

I wasn't sure why he told me to turn around at first, but I obeyed. The sound of the gunshot, then the bullet hitting metal made me jump, bringing my memory back to Randall.

"There we go," I heard him mumble. I turned around, seeing the lock and its remnants on the ground a few feet from me. That made me realise he made me turn around so none of the metal hit my face.

He held the door for me and I stepped inside, keeping myself alert as I held the Glock at ready.

He told me to stay close and I nodded. The door let us to some dark store room, the air inside smelled sour and sweet, it reeked of rot, but luckily not a human. Most lucky food, or milk, maybe some fruit. I wasn't sure what kind of store it was.

We moved through the room, alert and ready. The room was filled with boxes and crates. We approached a door that was ajar, Shane slowly opened it. It made a loud creaking sound that made me cringe.

When the door opened we were finally in the actually store. The aisles were short and just about all the shelves were empty. The whole place was dark, but not too dark as to need a flashlight.

Shane told me to stay put, I nodded and he made his way around the aisle, searching for any danger, dead or alive. I watching him, the shelves only went up to his chest so I could see him clearly as he made his way down each aisle.

"We're good," he told from the behind the counter of where the cashier would be. Then we both began the real search of anything useful. Unfortunately, the place looked almost picked clean. As I made my way through an aisle I spotted a small box on the floor, when I got closer I recognized the picture of Poptarts. I picked it up quickly only to be met with disappointment of how light it was. I turned the box over to where it had been opened. Empty. Not even a wrapper.

Why the hell would someone just leave the empty freaking box.

"Anything?" I heard Shane call.

I didn't even answer, I just let the box fall from my hand to the floor. I had no energy to hide my disappointment. I kept trying to think of anything else then what we were leaving behind, but I couldn't, the empty shelves provided me with no distraction.

I wanted to tell Shane we should just leave, get it over with. But at the same time I didn't want to, that would make it all a reality. If we didn't leave this town we wouldn't be far from the group.

But I knew it didn't matter, he didn't want to go back, and I was in no shape to tell him I did.

I kept walking until I saw something peeking out from underneath shelves. I leaned down, pulling out the red box with pictures of square, salted crackers.

"Crackers," I called out, feeling the fullness of the box.

"Nice," I looked up quickly, surprised Shane was standing in the next aisle over. "I also got some batteries, some gum, Gravol. Nothing else."

The tone in his voice told me he was ready to leave. I bit my lip, thinking of a way to stall him.

"Maybe we should keep lookin'?"

He only shook his head as he glanced around the room.

I wasn't sure which one of us heard it first, I thought it might've been me. But I did know that everything seemed to stop when we both heard it. It was a low rumbling sound coming from far in the distance, it was too soon to guess the direction. For a moment, I almost thought it was thunder, but the sound never stopped, not for a moment, the rumbling continued non-stop, becoming louder with each passing second. The sound was coming closer.

Shane's eyes met mine, and for a while we just stared at each other, listening.

We both knew the sound. I knew it, but I wouldn't believe it, not at first. Finally, Shane tore his eyes from mine and he hurried over to the front of the store, dropping everything he'd found. The front of the store was mostly windows covered by posters, it was where the door was that was gated so we couldn't get it. I watched Shane, not moving as he watched out the window.

He was silent as we both continued to listen. The thundering of an engine coming closer and closer. From behind him, I could see Shane tense as the thundering came so close, and I knew it was in his view.

Daryl can't be the only one with a motorcycle right?

"You've got to be kidding me," Shane muttered.

I wanted to ask, to question the noise and his reaction. But I didn't, because I knew. I began to move, wanting to see for myself, but Shane had already left the window and began pushing me back the way we'd come in. I'd dropped the box of crackers on our way out.

"Hurry, let's go!"

"Daryl's here?"

"Rick." Shane answered and he pulled me with him. That confused me, Rick wouldn't be riding a motorcycle, would he? Was it Rick and Daryl? Suddenly, the roaring of the bike was silenced, making Shane and I freeze.

"Shit," he cursed, before starting to pull me along. He pushed the heavy metal door open and we hurried into the alley. I turned to go to where the car was but he stopped me, turning me around.

"Can't go to the car."

"Why not?"

"Because they already found it," we were running then. I knew the group was unhappy with what Shane had done, but going after him? After us? I thought they would just make him leave anyways, unless they were planning on punishing him somehow. Was I the one in trouble?

"Shane!" Rick was yelling, not too far from behind us. "Shane!"

Shane looked at me as he pulled me with him, his teeth clenching in frustration.

"SHANE, STOP!" Rick shouted as loud as he could. And in that moment, he did, he just seemed to freeze in that spot.

"We can talk about this."

Shane took in a deep breathe, glancing down at me. Shane's eyes went to mine one last time before turning to Rick and stepping in front of me. I looked over too, Rick was alone, he had his gun up, holding it with one hand. Shane raised his gun quickly when he saw it.

"Put the gun down, Shane. We're just going to talk."

"Yours first," Shane practically growled, it sounded more like a threat then a demand.

"Okay, okay . . ." Rick complied, his expression nervous. He lowered his gun, placing it back into his holster. "See? It's fine."

"This is not fine, Rick. What the hell are you doing here? Why are you here?!"

Before anything else could be said, footsteps interrupted them. Rick didn't look confused or surprised by them, not like Shane and I were. Then two figures turned down into the alleyway, freezing as they saw us.

T-Dog and Glenn quickly raised their guns, confused and panicked over seeing Shane's aimed at Rick.

Rick glanced at them quickly, "guns down."

T-Dog and Glenn hesitated but obeyed. Then someone else rounded the corner, holding his rifle with both hands, getting ready to use it if needed. Daryl.

From the distance I could see he was not happy. His eyes met mine with such an intensity I was forced to look away.

"Rick! We got Walkers coming, G's trying to take care of them, I'm gonna go help him," Glenn said.

Rick nodded, and Glenn left the alley.

"Go back, Rick! This is over, I left!" Shane shouted.

"Why are you doing this? Put the gun down!" Rick shot back.

"Then let us leave! Why are you even here?!"

"I can't do that, you know that."

Why? Why couldn't they just leave this alone? I found myself silently begging Shane not to shoot, but at the same time begging he wouldn't lower his gun. None of it felt right, not Shane, not Rick. It was bad.

Behind Rick, I saw T-Dog and Daryl were close beside each other, talking quietly.

"I thought we worked this all out," Rick tried gently.

"We tried to kill each other, man!" Shane yelled back, chuckling slightly. "What, you think we'll just ride off into the sunset together? Just forget it all?"

"Like you're trying to do with her?"

"I'm keeping her safe, this has nothing to do with you."

"Out here? You think being out here is the best option? It's safer?"

"The hell-" Shane cut himself off quickly, seeing Daryl talk into Rick's ear. "What?!" Shane questioned, growing more agitated.

They didn't answer, Rick gave Daryl a look before Daryl turned and began to walk out of the alley, T-Dog followed him.

"What's going on?!" Shane yelled again.

"There's a small herd of Walkers coming this way, they just need to handle it," Rick tried to assure, stepping closer.

"Why aren't you going then?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Good for you then, because we are."

"No. Think about this, about her. You can't do this, you know it. Look at her, you have her terrified."

I narrowed my eyes, I may have been freaked out but what gave him the right to shift the attention on to me? I was so confused why I even mattered at that moment.

"Man, you come barreling down here with them, with your guns, chasing us down! Of course she's scared."

"And yet, you're the one with your gun still drawn."

"And it's not going anywhere until you back off!"

"You know I'm not going to do that."

Shane's face turned red with fury, "You're not taking her! You won't take her from me! Not like you took everything else."

"I didn't take anyone from you, Shane, that is my wife, my son. My baby."

"Not for long. You'll lose them, or they'll lose you all over again. You can't do it, you can't keep them safe."

"I can and I will. They are my family, my life. Not yours. Toby is not yours, what are you thinking? You want to prove you're better at this world then I am, so you take her out here? You're going to get her killed!"

"You aren't keeping anyone safe by bringing people like Randall around! You think you know how to do this but you don't! The right choice is the one that keeps us alive! You're going to get Lori and Carl killed! She needs a parent! I'm all she's got. You have your own family to take care of. It's my responsibility to take her away from the danger you're putting the entire group in! You took Lori and Carl away from me, you aren't taking Toby."

I stepped back, away from Shane. Not because I was scared of being to close, or maybe I was, just a bit. But mostly because I wanted to exclude myself, I didn't like that their current topic was me. Trying to think over everything, what I could do, if I should run off. I wondered if I should try and snap Shane out of it. I lost track of their conversation for a moment. I looked back at the two men, Rick was closer then.

"What?! What do you want?! You come to rip my heart right out of my chest?!"

"Jesus, Shane." Rick glared, eyeing the gun. "Be careful with that."

"You really did it for me, you know that? I'm nothing now, Rick, nothing! I've got nothing, no friends, no family, no respect, no fucking life! Because of you! Everything was going to be so good."

Things were escalating so quickly, and I had no idea what I should do. This would be a time where Daddy would say it was best to keep my mouth shut. I wondered if there was anything I could say, but I didn't want Shane yelling at me like he was at Rick, I didn't want him looking at me the same way either. There was so much I still didn't understand about all of it.

But I did know that we needed to leave, we needed to leave before someone else got hurt. "Shane . . ." his name escaped my mouth. I tried to force it out loud for him to hear, but it was a quiet whisper.

"Everything was so perfect . . ." Shane continued. "Until you came back!"

"Goddamnit, Shane, stop this!":

"We left! We were gone! You didn't have to do shit! This is on you, maybe this is why you're really here. This is what's meant to happen."

"Listen to me-"

"-No, Rick, this is the only way. This is what has to happen . . . you weren't meant to come back! You weren't meant to live!"

"You're gonna kill me in cold blood?" Rick questioned in a dark tone. "Screw my wife, have my children, my children call you daddy, is that what you want? That life won't be worth a damn. I know you. You won't be able to live with this."

"What you know about what I can live with? You have no idea what I can live with, what I live with! Wanna talk about what you can do, Rick? How about what you can do? Here I am. Come on, man. Raise your gun." Shane's voice was getting more hoarse, almost more tired.

"No. No, I will not."
"What happened, Rick? I thought you weren't the good guy anymore. Ain't that what you said? Even right here, right now, you ain't gonna fight for 'em? I'm a better father than you, Rick. I'm better for Lori than you, man. It's 'cause I'm a better man than you, Rick. 'Cause I can be here and I'll fight for it."

"Listen to yourself! Look around! What you've dragged this girl, this child into. This is keeping her safe? You think you're so much better then me then why are you so set on getting her killed?!"

I looked at Shane for a response. My stomach immediately sank when I saw the fury, the way his lips parted tensely. The same look he had before shooting Randall. His arm moved, just the slightest bit, and I knew what would come next.

"Shane!" I forced out, his name feeling odd on my tongue. I barely ever addressed him. It worked this time, Shane tore his gaze from Rick to me. His eyes seem to soften a little, and I could've sworn he was lowering his gun.

But Rick launched himself before I had time to tell. Rick had used my distraction to throw himself onto Shane, causing Shane to drop his gun as he fell. Shane threw the first punch in attempt to get Rick off, but it hadn't worked right away. Rick tried to keep him pinned but Shane was soon able to toss him aside, kneeing him in the gut.

I felt the gun in my hand lifting it up but not sure what to do, my mind reeled for an answer. But all reasoning was interrupted when I felt hands grab me from behind.

I shrieked and started thrashing, not able to do much with my gun before one of their hands grabbed mine, forcing me to drop the gun, "come on, stop it!"

The hand was dark, and from the voice I knew it was T-Dog. T-Dog was pulling me away from the brawl. I kept throwing myself around, trying to get him to release me. I was able to turn myself around to face him as he held me. He was yelling at me, but only because I wasn't listening. He wanted me to go with him, to stop fighting and calm down.

But that didn't seem right at all, why come to me and drag me away when it was obvious Rick and Shane were trying to kill each other. It had to be stopped or someone else would die.

"Lem'me go!" I yelled at him.

A gunshot sounded, freezing me into place. It must've shocked T-Dog too because he grip loosened slightly, I was able to turn my head and pull one arm from him to turn back to Shane and Rick. I only looked back in time to see a gun get thrown away from them. It was Rick's gun.

Shane brought his knee back and pushing his boot into Rick's face, knocking him backward.

Shane pulled himself up. As he was getting up I saw him holding his left side, blood seeping through his shirt. Shane scrambled backward, searching for his gun, he was able to get to it quickly, and from the look of where Rick's was, Rick wouldn't get his back.

Shane struggled to pull himself up, pointing his gun at Rick as he held his side. Rick, eyed him, slowly standing.

Shane was seething. "You come back here and you just destroy EVERYTHING! You got a broken woman. You got a weak boy. You ain't got the first clue on how to fix it!"
"This has to stop."

"It did, I left, it was done. It's like you're just asking for all this shit to happen, you want me to kill you?!"

"You're gonna have to kill an unarmed man."

Shane said nothing to that. He only stood still, glaring at Rick. I heard noises from behind me and T-Dog, causing me to turn around. At the other end of the alley, Daryl had his back to us, he was fighting a few Walkers. As I watched, more seemed to emerge. There was another problem. I searched the ground for my gun, when I saw it I quickly grabbed it, T-Dog still holding tightly to my arm. As soon as I had it, he tried pulling me away again. He's talking again, but I'm no longer listening, only paying attention to the Walkers on one end of the alley, and Shane and Rick at the other. I don't thrash against T-Dog again, instead I root myself in place, pulling away every so often. He's not trying as hard anymore, it was obvious he was trying to figure out what to do. Leave to help Daryl, or somehow help Rick.

In the next moment, we hear Glenn yelling from behind Rick. I didn't know what he was saying, but Rick didn't seem to care either. Rick and Shane didn't dare look away from each other.

Shane looked as if he was wavering his options, fighting against himself. I kept thinking he would've already done it, but there was something stopping him.

Shane was still quiet, Rick took that time to speak. "Now listen to me, Shane. There is still a way back from this." Rick began to slowly step closer. I watched them warily. It felt wrong, but I didn't know what to do. "Nothing has happened here. You're gonna lay down your gun and we're gonna go back to the farm together. Back to Lori. Back to Carl. Put this all behind us."

I blinked, standing very still as he went closer to Shane. Could we really just go back? I wanted to believe it, but it still felt wrong.

"Put the gun down. Please. I know you, you don't want to do this. Watch my hand, easy does it," With every word Rick stepped closer. Shane was in reaching distance. "We'll take Toby back, where it's safe. Away from here."

At the mention of me, Shane turned his head, his eyes met mine. They had softened, his face much more relaxed. The rage was gone, and Shane was back.

As soon as Shane had lost focus of Rick, Rick thrusted his hand into Shane's abdomen.

Shane's head dropped as he let out a cry, keeling over onto Rick. I gasped, seeing Rick's hand was still in place around the hilt of a knife, a knife deeply lodged into Shane.

"No!" I screamed attempting to launch myself forward. But T-Dog was quick, wrapping his arms around my middle, my arms being held against my body. I continued to scream, barely paying attention as I struggled to get away from him.

"Damn you for making me do this, Shane!" Rick yelled, but I wasn't looking at him, I could only hear. "This was you, not me! You did this to us! This was you, not me-not me!"

"Rick!" Someone yelled. I heard other things in the background as I stared at Shane on the ground, but I could not decipher them. It was like my brain had lost the ability to absorb new facts. Rick was suddenly gone away from. The Walkers must've been closing in, but that didn't matter to me. It only mattered for a moment, just for one second because T-Dog was forced to release me to help with whatever was going on.

I had never stopped struggling, so as soon as his hold on me was broken, I fell hard to the ground. But I didn't even notice, my focus was on Shane's barely-moving body. I practically crawled over to him, only caring that I got to him and not how. Before I knew it I was on my knees beside him, leaning over him.

His eyes met mine and the air was suddenly drained from my longs. His expression was tense as he winced from the pain. A drop of blood escaped the corner of his lips, leaking down his jaw. I'd dropped the gun somewhere beside me, it didn't matter.

I looked to his abdomen, my hands hovering over his bloody shirt. A sob escaped from my throat.

The gunshot had got him in the lower left of his abdomen, while the knife wound was closer to the left of his chest. The knife was gone, Rick had taken it out. The two large circles of blood from the wounds had met, and only kept spreading. I whimpered, feeling hot tears escaping my eyes.

I stared at the knife wound, had it hit something, was that his heart?

I suddenly realised I knew the anatomy of a rabbit better than a human. Pressure? Pressure, right?

My thoughts barely registering, I decided the knife wound was worse than the gunshot and crossed both my hands over it pressing down.

Feeling the hot mess of blood beneath my palms caused me to sob harder.

"No, no, no," I muttered, unsure of what else to do as I cried.

"I-a-I . . . I-" a nonsense string of sounds were escaping Shane's mouth, I couldn't tell if he was choking or trying to speak.

I looked at his face again. "What? What?! What do I do?!"

His arm was lifted, slowly raising until the tips of his bloody finger grazed my cheek.

"What?!" I screamed again.

Then his eyes shifted slighty as his head lolled. He was no longer looking at me, just off into nothingness. And then his arm fell.

"No, no." Was all I could say as I shook my head. I took my hands from off the wound and began shaking him. Screaming his name, but there was nothing. Nothing in his face, nothing in his eyes. Shane was gone.

The noise of everything was suddenly gone, and I was only left with a ringing in my ears. It seemed as if the world had stopped. I could feel my chest moving as if I was breathing, but I couldn't be too sure that that's what I was doing.

I stared at Shane as my hands left his body. My right hand touching something on the cement beside me. I felt the cold metal of the Glock as I tightened my hand around it, not even looking it's way. The weight of it was almost nonexistent, as if I wasn't holding anything at all.

The ringing in my ears became louder as I felt my body go numb, my brain felt as it was vibrating.

I lifted the gun as I raised my head, my eyes searching for Rick.

But all I saw was red.

This was heartbreaking for me. Thank you for reading and leave a review on what you think.