Every Moment After
After sorting out his feelings regarding Toby. Things became much easier. For so long he'd felt awkward with her, whether they were hunting together, walking together, or even just sitting together. He couldn't figure out how to act or what to say. He usually preferred being quiet, and he knew Toby did too, but when he was with her, he couldn't help but overthink it. Should he ask something, check on her? Or maybe just distance himself so he wasn't bothered by something so stupid.
But when Daryl did ask something or talk to her, she barely replied with a gesture let alone words. Then he'd get frustrated, wondering why he bothered.
Over the previous weeks, he stopped wondering. T-Dog had put it in his head, laying out everything since Atlanta. Every time something happened, Daryl was right with her, no hesitation. Even when he didn't act like he was.
At the CDC, he ran after and brought her out before the building imploded. The day before that, she went to him when the doctor wanted her blood sample. Everyone was trying to get her to do it, she'd went to Daryl, hoping he'd have her back. And he did. That same night, after he fought with Shane, Toby stayed in his room.
Daryl didn't love the idea of sharing a room with her, he'd considered knocking on Carol's door, Jaqui's, Dale's even. (Not Rick or T-Dog, he didn't want anything to do with them after they left Merle behind). He knew if he went to any of them, they'd let the girl stay with them and he would be free. But something stopped him, he let her stay, and the end result was her screaming waking him up, and they shared the bed that night.
Before the CDC, he'd watched as Shane told her, at the very last second, that her dad wasn't coming for her.
Daryl couldn't believe how furious he felt. He had no idea how clueless Toby was. Whenever Toby talked about what happened, it sounded so obvious that'd he'd either abandoned her, or died before he could make it back. Never had he thought she was waiting every day for his return.
When Toby had to get away from everyone, she rode in his truck.
Before that, he remembered returning to the camp after nightfall. They'd just gotten back from searching for Merle in Atlanta. Walkers were everywhere, people were screaming and fighting. He'd come back to a Walker filled camp, without his brother, who could very well be dead. Daryl wasn't sure if he'd ever see him again. Shane was protecting Lori and Carl. And the last living link Daryl had to Merle, was nowhere to be found.
The whole time Daryl was looking around, trying to find the small girl he barely knew, the girl that followed her brother around camp. He was so sure that night she was gone, it was easy to imagine then, a little girl he barely knew dying, was easily expected. So many people he barely knew were dying, she'd just be another one on the list.
That thought process changed as soon as he saw her under the RV, the feeling of hope and relief that she was fine. Thinking back on that particular night, Daryl could assume that was when it really started for him.
He wasn't able to find Merle, and when the Walkers were dead, no one knew where the girl was. After a day of failures, deaths, and other close calls, finding that girl and dragging her out from the RV felt like an amazing win. Daryl didn't get it back then, why this girl had taken up Merle's attention before he disappeared.
It didn't matter how much he understood it then because his attention went to her just as Merle's did.
When Daryl first found out about Merle, what Rick had done, he'd lost his head and attacked Rick. Everyone looked at him like he was crazy, everyone was afraid of him.
Then a child stepped in, took Shane's gun and threatened to shoot. She was the only one to go to his side, to defend him or Merle.
That was their history. Toby and Daryl had this odd push and pull relationship they were blind too, instead of merely accepting it, they took on the attitude that they were just dealing with each other. Because everything was temporary. One of them could die, Daryl could've left, Toby could've run away, she would've been gone forever if they hadn't gotten to Shane in time.
Daryl never planned on staying with the group as long as he had. Many days on the farm he stared at his belongings, ready to pack them up and leave in search of Merle. Meanwhile, Toby never let go of the idea that her dad would show up. Like Daryl, she thought she could find him, or he would find her, and they could go back to their old lives.
That changed in Carnesville. Toby's home was the place in her mind where she might find her father or some idea where he might be. There was nothing. That day, Toby came to terms with it, her father was gone. Whether he was dead or not, didn't matter. He was gone, he wasn't coming back. Her life with the group, with Daryl, was not temporary. Her home was her safety net, her last chance at her old life. But it was just as dead as the rest of the world.
As Toby came to her realization, Daryl did too. He didn't stick around the group as long as he had to just take off. That was their life now, those people, who were all strangers months ago, were now their friends, their lifelines. They belonged to each other, just as all the others in the group did. They belonged to this new life, together.
Two weeks after leaving Toby's home, the group was still circling Carnesville, they hadn't found a lot, but enough to keep them going.
"You really need to be quiet," Rick laughed at T-Dog, who'd been making celebratory sounds in excitement.
"Why? Because of the Geeks? Let 'em come! I'll just be sitting here drinking my Pepsi and eating my M&M's."
"If you're not sharing with the kids it's not the Walkers you need to worry about," Lori joked.
"We're eating like royalty tonight! Let's just be happy today, when was the last time we had a haul this good?"
Rick just smiled, not responding. They'd just cleared a general store that still had a good amount of merchandise left. They'd collected two backpacks worth of food, two large packages of M&M's and one box containing twelve cans of Pepsi.
"We'll go back to that house across the road, the backyard is fenced in and there's a fire pit we'll use," Rick explained.
"I get to open the first can," Carl claimed.
"You and Toby can share a can tonight. You want to make it last don't you?"
"What? No way," Carl shook his head in disappointment. He looked behind him at Toby, as if looking for help, "we should both get our own, right?"
Toby furrowed her eyebrows, the looked up at Daryl who was walking beside her. They were the furthest behind the group as they walked to the house they previously searched that day.
"What you lookin' at me for?" Daryl asked her.
"What's he talkin' 'bout?"
"The soda they found."
Toby still looked confused, "is that with the bubbles?"
Daryl stared at her in confusion, before glancing at Carl, who looked equally as clueless, "uh, yeah? I guess? You not have it before?"
"When I was little I think. Daddy says I'm not allowed to have crap like that, says sugar makes yer teeth fall out, sometimes he'll get me a candy bar for my birthday or Christmas. And if I been good he'll buy pop-tarts."
"Pop-tarts, huh?" Daryl echoed, unsure of what else to say. All he could think of were the drugs they found in her home, yet she wasn't allowed to have a bit of soda. He didn't bother voicing his thoughts.
"Mom! Toby hasn't had it before! We should have our own!"
"Carl, keep your voice down."
"Your mother's right, son," Rick backed Lori up. "You can both have half tonight, and some of the chocolate if you can get T to share."
"It's just a drink," Daryl commented. "Give it to 'em, he ain't gonna let up."
Rick slowed his pace to be closer to the man. "These kids haven't had caffeine in months, the sun will be down shortly and we don't need the kids bouncing off the walls. She's really never had it?"
Daryl just shrugged, his attention averted when Toby coughed. It wasn't anything major, she'd caught a small cold it seemed, right after T-Dog. She only coughed a bit and she was often trying to blow her nose, though they didn't have a lot of rags. T-Dog was a bit worse, his cough deeper and more frequent.
"How's your head, T?" Rick asked the smiling man, he was complaining of a headache that morning.
"Hurts like hell but I couldn't be better."
"Well, alright then."
After the group ate dinner, they were able to share the soda and M&M's between them, the kids of course, were given the most. They were gathered in the backyard of the house they planned to sleep, The backyard was fenced in, which made the group feel secure. Other then the fire pit, a few lawn chairs, the only other thing in the yard was a small tree.
Perfect size for kids to be swinging from, which was exactly what they were doing.
Lori was watching, she gasped with both hands over her mouth when Toby, who was sitting on a branch, launched herself backward. Toby caught herself, wrapping her legs around the branch to hang upside down. Carl laughed with her, while Lori shook her head and sighed with relief.
"Don't do that!" She scolded, but the kids didn't hear her. They were chatting away.
After a few more minutes of watching them cautiously, Lori called them down, she was too anxious for their roughhousing.
Carl scowled, "c'mon, mom."
"No, you come on. You two are going to hurt yourselves."
"Maybe we shouldn't have given them both a full can," T-Dog voiced.
"I did tell you," she said.
"Didn't see you stopping me when I gave in," Rick chimed.
"I can't always be the bad one. Carl, now!"
Carl had climbed a higher branch and launched himself down just as Toby had, the quick action startled Lori.
"Listen to your mother," Rick told him. "Time to wind down."
Carl sighed and pulled himself upward, he waited and watched Toby, but she didn't move. "She means both of us."
Toby just furrowed her eyebrows, unmoving as she hung upside down, "why?"
"Mom said we have to."
"She ain't my mom."
Lori crossed her arms above her stomach, "don't make me repeat myself."
Carl glanced at Toby, before beginning to climb down.
"They're just having a bit of fun," T-Dog said.
"I know, but she's not wrong," Rick told him. "They're being loud, and with everything going on we don't need to worry about them breaking an arm. Daryl? Can you help?"
Daryl took a drink from his water bottle before responding, "just leave her, she won't break an arm."
"And if she does?" Lori questioned back.
"Then she'll learn."
Lori rolled her eyes, watching as Carl jumped down. Lori lowered her voice, taking on a warning tone, "Toby . . . one . . . two . . ."
Toby pulled herself up and scrunched her eyebrows at the woman, Lori paused, watching her actions. Toby looked around at the others in confusion, "the fuck she countin' for?"
For a moment, there was silence, then T-Dog began laughing. Lori simply ducked her head, trying to hide a smile herself.
Carl looked up at her, "doesn't your mom—I mean, your dad. Do that?"
"Count? Does my dad count?" Toby recited the question, looking more and more confused.
"Stop, nevermind, just get down please, and don't swear," Lori told her.
"Why? Because you started fuckin' countin'?" Toby's eyebrows went back to their neutral state, it was very obvious she was purposely testing her boundaries. Even though her tantrums had calmed, and she'd been slowly getting back to a somewhat normal state, she would test how much she could push someone.
Usually, the test subject was Lori.
"C'mon, don't push it," Daryl told her.
"Can I have more of the soda?"
"If ya stop bein' snarky, ya can finish mine."
Toby made her way down without saying anything else, making it very obvious that the only one she would listen to was Daryl. Though it wasn't the first time this was made known.
Lori put her hand on Carl's shoulder, "ready for bed?"
Carl groaned but nodded, "can I stay with Toby tonight?
Lori glanced at Rick. Daryl handed his can of soda to Toby, who finished it off.
"Did we sort out sleeping arrangements?" Rick asked the others.
T-Dog gave a nod, explaining who would be staying in which rooms, along with the watch routine for the night.
Rick exchanged a look with Lori and shrugged, "not the first time."
"I don't see why not, as long as she's alright with it."
Carl smiled and looked at Toby. She only shrugged and turned away, going into the house. Carl ran after her, following her inside. "We could read some comics?"
"We read them all, a lot."
"A long time ago," Carl said, looking a bit sad.
Toby caught his expression out of the corner of her eye, she felt guilty. She did miss him, missed talking to him, even just sitting with him. "Don't you have that yellow book?"
"Yellow book?"
"The one ya used to bug me about."
"Tuck Everlasting? You want me to read that?" Carl's mood shifted quickly.
"If ya want, I dunno," She'd barely finished talking when Carl turned and hurried away to get the book.
When Toby got to the bedroom she sat on the dusty bed, running a hand over her face tiredly. Even after feeling more comfortable with the group once again, and a bit more open, it felt exhausting. Catching T-Dog's cold wasn't helping her mood, she'd had a terrible pain in her throat when she woke up that morning.
Toby tried her best not to cough too much, every cough hurt the back of her throat, but at the same time it begged for relief. When she couldn't hold it back anymore, she let it out, going into a small fit. It started to calm a few moments after.
Toby wiped her mouth, as Carl entered the room, trying to seem nonchalant.
"Do you need water?" He asked.
Toby shook her head.
"I have it," he showed her the book. "Do we uh . . . do we share the bed?"
"No, yer on the floor."
Carl started at her, before glancing down at the floor, "oh."
"It's a joke," she assured.
Carl rolled his eyes and hopped on the bed beside her. "Mom wanted me to ask you something," he said as he settled into the bed, sitting up against the headboard.
Toby groaned.
"No, it's not bad, it's just . . . she said she didn't want to push you or make you uncomfortable."
Everyone makes me uncomfortable, she thought to herself.
"She was wondering if she could try teaching you to read, I could help, we could teach you to write your name. Just a little when we have time, when things aren't crazy. She said it would be good to give us something else to do."
Toby was taken aback, maybe it was something she wanted to do, but what would be the point? Any time they have time to calm down and be safe there are Walkers around the corner. To Toby, it sounded like a waste of time, an opportunity to make her feel inferior and stupid.
"I know I didn't help the last time we tried, but I don't really know how to teach, I could still help you too."
"Why she got you askin'?"
"Mom said that if she asked you wouldn't even think about it."
Toby didn't respond to that, because she agreed if Lori approached her with anything she wouldn't have listened.
"You gonna read or what? If not I'm sleepin'." Toby said hurriedly, wanting to get out of the conversation.
Carl opened the book, turning a few pages before settling on one, "The first week of August hangs at the very top of summer, the top of the live-long year, like the highest seat of . . ."
Toby glanced toward the window as Carl read on, she wanted to pull back the dark curtain that shielded her view of the street, but that would be unsafe, it was best not to see out there, it was best for nothing to be able to peek into their room.
"We've run this town dry," T-Dog said the next morning.
"It's a small herd, and they don't leave that side of town," Rick replied, pointing to a spot on the map. In front of them on the kitchen table were two maps, the large map of Georgia, and a smaller map of Carnesville they'd found.
"Just because they have stayed does not mean they always will," Guillermo said.
"We've seen worse herds, maybe if we take them out, slowly, the whole town will be safe."
"Then what, Rick? We've searched almost the entire town. We'll have to leave at some point. You were talking about Hershel's the other night, we're all worried about Lori, maybe that's where we need to be going."
"We are not welcome there," Guillermo pointed out.
"He won't turn away a pregnant woman."
"He already has."
T-Dog turned on Guillermo, "will you stop? I meant so close to labor. Didn't he say, before things got nuts if we were close and she needed help he would?"
Rick ran a hand over his face, "it took us this long to get here . . . just to go all the way back?"
"Wouldn't be as bad, " Daryl spoke up. "We marked roadblocks, herds we know are in that area somewhere, we marked danger zones. It wouldn't take as long now that we know which routes to take."
"Maybe that's safer," T-Dog agreed. "But not very efficient. As you said, we know those roads now, we've been there. We know there's no food, we cleaned out everything we came by."
"So we change the route? Can't mess with it too much, reason we went that far out is 'cause we went as far from Atlanta as we could."
T-Dog traced a line on the map with his finger, "we went around Atlanta this way, what if we go the other way." T-Dog's finger swiped over where Atlanta was.
"That could take even longer," Rick told him. "And what for? To find nothing? To go to a man we know will turn us away?"
"What's the better option? Going the way we know has absolutely nothing? Or taking a new route that might have something? Maybe it'll take longer, what if it doesn't? What if we find someplace?" T-Dog listed his questions, trying to convince them.
"And when Hershel turns us away?" Daryl grumbled.
"I'm not saying we'll go there. I'm just saying if we get that far, being close is better. I know there's nothing in that area, but maybe once we get there we'll just push out more, or maybe he'll have a change in heart."
"I don't know, T." Rick said worriedly.
"What else do we have, Rick?"
"Absolutely nothing."
One Week Later
After one more week of searching the town and avoiding Walkers, the group agreed it was time to leave. Rick agreed they would try T-Dog's plan, after all, they might've found food, but it wouldn't last.
Daryl was standing just a few feet from the RV, watching as Toby was bent over in her coughing fit. It sounded like it was getting worse, the cough wet and deep as if with each expulsion of air her throat was trying to push out the mucus.
"Just get it out," he tried to tell her.
The coughing slowed, and she spat out whatever was in her mouth. She took a few moments to catch her breath. T-Dog handed a water bottle to Daryl. Daryl nodded in thanks, opening it and handing it to the girl. Toby took it slowly, taking small sips while trying to breathe, as if afraid the coughing would start over again.
"Better?" Daryl asked.
"M'fine," she said, her voice raspy, "tell 'em ta stop starin'."
Daryl glanced behind him at the RV, seeing a few faces in the window.
"They're just worried," T-Dog defended. Daryl made eye contact with T-Dog, they were thinking the same thing. T-Dog had still been coughing slightly, but he was getting better, he felt better. Toby clearly wasn't.
Three Weeks Later
Time seemed agonizingly slow for them the further they got from Carnesville. Though this trip seemed to start out better than when they first left the farm. They were much more aware of what they could find on the road, more experienced with killing and avoiding Walkers, they felt ready for everything that could hit them.
There were still bad days, days they found nothing, days they ate less to make sure they'd have enough. But there were also good days, days where Daryl would bring fresh meat, or they'd found canned goods.
Even if they'd found a good amount of non-perishables, the only times they could all eat a full meal was when they'd had a successful hunt. And only if there was enough for everyone to fill their stomach if not, that would be rationed as well. They couldn't risk getting low on food again.
T-Dog fought his cold, showing no other symptoms.
There were times Toby seemed better, days she wouldn't cough as much, days she would smile and laugh along with Carl. Then there were days she would cough so much she could barely speak, days she laid in the RV with the blanket over her face, complaining that the light made her head hurt.
On some of Toby's good days, she agreed to sit across from Lori as the woman read out the different letters and their sounds. She'd found a blank notebook and was encouraging Toby to trace some of the letters Lori drew out with a dotted line.
Toby didn't do much, she'd often get annoyed, stand up and leave without a word. As irritated as it would make Lori, she let the girl go, surprised enough that Toby would sit with her in the first place.
On a cloudy day, the RV was parked on the side of the road, the road was long and a bit rough, it was surrounded by fields and wilderness, no signs of civilisation. After driving for three days straight, only stopping to take breaks and stretch legs, they'd decided it was time for a long break. They would stop for the night.
"How are you feeling?" Rick asked Lori. She sat down at the booth in the RV, Rick stood across from her, not making much of an effort to get closer.
After Lori's failed attempt to make eye contact with him, she said, "you don't need to worry about me."
"Did you eat today?"
"Yes."
"What is this?" Rick places his fingers down on a paper, sliding it toward him on the table.
"We've been going over Toby's letters, trying to anyway," Lori answered.
"Really? I'm surprised she agreed to that, she really wants to? Not that she wouldn't . . . just-"
"-Just that she wouldn't." Lori cut off his rambling, "I'm not offended, I've been around her long enough to know how she is. She just wants to be alone, and would rather not do anything with anyone, except Daryl."
"She has been around Carl more lately, he seems a bit happier."
"She doesn't usually want to do this," Lori pointed to the paper. "Carl somehow convinces her too, pretends to practice with her, that helps I think. But she gets aggravated easily. We're just doing simple things, letters, and sounds. Trying to get her to recognize her name."
"Wouldn't that come after she's learned the alphabet?"
"I remembered when Carl was in preschool, while they were learning the teachers would try to get them to pick out their names among the rest. So they'd know which work was theirs."
Rick nodded, feeling awkward when he had no other questions. The awkward silence didn't last long, it was soon interrupted by several harsh coughs. They were deep and raspy, almost hollow sounding as if the lungs they came from were trying to expel a nonexistence substance.
Rick and Lori simultaneously looked at the back of the RV, the curtain was drawn, revealing nothing.
"That doesn't sound good," T-Dog said, he was sitting sideways in the front seat, turned toward them.
"It's just a cough," Rick tried to assure, though looking very concerned. "She'll push through it."
"It was just a cough three weeks ago." T-Dog recounted.
Trying to deter the worry, Lori stood from the booth, "I'll bring her some water, do we have any of those cough drops left?"
T-Dog shook his head, "I gave her the last one yesterday."
Rick moved out of the way for Lori. She grabbed a water bottle before, moving the curtain.
While at times food was an issue, water rarely was one. They would often find water bottle packs or even large water jugs in old office buildings.
"Hey, hun," Lori greeted softly.
Toby lifted her head, as the woman made her way closer, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. Toby slowly pushed herself up more, in a half-seated position.
Lori's eyebrows furrowed with concern, watching her carefully. She hadn't seen the girl that day, and the day was almost over, she'd gone to bed to sleep in there the night before. Carl shared the bed with her, when he came out in the morning, he explained Toby wanted to sleep more. The group let her rest, not wanting to bother her, though every so often they'd hear her coughs and exchange nervous glances.
Lori was seeing it now, Toby looked worse than before. The rims around her nostrils were bright red, indicating she'd been blowing and rubbing it too much. The skin under her nose was dry and flaking. Her lips looked worse, looking chapped and cracking in the creases.
"Here," she said, giving the bottle over after opening it. Toby took it without question, taking the sips slow before taking deep gulps. After taking the bottle from her lips, she breathed in deeply, Lori noticed how she opened her mouth wider to be able to take in more air.
"'Ank you," Toby's voice came out raspy and somewhat deep, making it more clear how congested her nose was.
"How does your throat feel, any better?"
Toby shook her head.
"Are you hungry?"
Another shake of the head.
"You haven't eaten today," Lori said softly, trying not to push her. But Toby didn't say any more. "Do you need more tissues? You have to make sure you get all that nastiness out, don't let it build up."
Toby shifted her position and looked on the opposite side of her, causing Lori to follow her gaze. On the opposite side of the bed were several used, balled up tissues, along with the box of new ones.
"I'll get rid of them," Lori offered, as she began gathering them up, she glanced behind her, hearing footsteps. Daryl moved the curtain over, peering in. His eyes went back and forth between the two, surprised to see them together.
"I'm goin' huntin'," he said after a long pause. "Won't be back for a while."
As he finished Toby straightened up, maneuvering around Lori to hang her feet off the edge of the bed, preparing to stand.
Daryl looked away from her as he spoke, guilt easily written on his face, "not you."
Toby stopped moving, lifting her head to look at him with confusion.
Daryl didn't want to tell her why, he didn't want to say how her frequent coughing would ruin the hunt. But he knew that she knew the reason, he just couldn't get himself to say it.
After a moment of realization, Toby looked down in disappointment, before pulling herself back on the bed. Unsure of what else to say, Daryl turned and left the RV.
"Do you want me to get Carl?" Lori asked her, feeling bad.
Toby nodded as she laid down and turned away.
Two Weeks Later
Daryl examined the small dark bottle closely, turning it in his hand to read the label when he heard footsteps behind him he turned and asked, "y'know if cough syrup expires?"
T-Dog stepped closed, reaching for the bottle, "here let me see. Yeah, here's the date, Jesus. This expired a while before the dead started coming back."
"Shit."
"You can probably still use it. I mean, by law they had to put expiry dates on shit, even if they didn't expire. Look at twinkies. I guess I shouldn't be comparing drugs to twinkies."
"No, you shouldn't." Daryl scolded him, feeling frustrated that he hadn't gotten a satisfying answer.
Rick stepped into the room, curious after hearing them talk, "found something?"
"Expired cough syrup," Daryl said.
"What would it even do?" T-Dog questioned, showing Rick the bottle, "make her sick or just not do anything?"
Rick shook his head, taking the bottle, "I don't think we should risk it. If it's bad it could make her sicker than she already is."
T-Dog shrugged, "maybe that's not such a bad thing, the kid is basically choking on her own phlegm. If she throws up some of that gunk may come out with it."
"I don't just mean that," Rick pushed his point. "This is some higher-end stuff, it's not for kids. Especially of her weight, it could be too much. It could knock her out."
"Again, not that bad. She could use some sleep, that cough's been keeping her up."
"You're talking like I can't hear her every night. What happens if we get overrun and we need to get out in a hurry, and she's out cold."
"Jesus Christ," Daryl exclaimed in frustration. Annoyed with their fight he rose his arms in exasperation, "That's what you're worried about? The kid's all skin an' bone. I've thrown her over my shoulder no effort needed, just do it again."
Rick shook his head again, putting the bottle on the counter before leaving the room. T-Dog rolled his eyes, grabbing the bottle before handing it to Daryl.
"I say give it to her. She's in pain, she needs something. And it's not like we're finding anything else."
Daryl took the bottle, staring at it hesitantly before shoving it into his pocket.
"Toby in the house?" Daryl asked Lori when he returned, she was standing outside.
"No, she wouldn't come out of the RV. Sasha's with her now. She's been having a hard time sleeping, she told me if she lies down it's hard to breathe. I gave her an extra pillow, trying to get her to sit up comfortably. I don't know what else to do. Did you find anything?"
"Cough syrup, but it's expired."
Lori's eyes shut in disappointment, "I feel like the closer we get to Hershel's, the further we are from any solution. I miss that farm, the fresh air, the open space, we never had to worry about food. Now we're getting low again-"
"-We'll find more, always do."
"It's not just the food," Lori looked down at her stomach, before quickly glancing at the RV.
"Stop," Daryl told her firmly. "The kid'll be fine, and we'll find a safe place for that baby. We just keep pushing."
Lori didn't look assured, "she's sick, Daryl. Every day she's more and more-"
"-And you're pregnant, every day you get more and more pregnant. And one day you won't be no more, just like one day she won't be sick no more. Ain't no use focusing on what could go wrong." Daryl tried to portray positivity, though he was just as worried as Lori. "How long has Sasha been with her?"
"A few minutes, not very long. She said her back was hurting, so she's looking at it. Not sure what it means."
Again, Daryl tried to hide his concern, even going as far as turning from the RV to avoid looking at it. Sasha checked over Toby a few times, she'd had the most medical training among them, though still not much, and nothing to prepare for a very sick child or very pregnant woman.
"Did you give Toby that cough syrup?" T-Dog asked.
"Not yet."
"You brought that back?" Rick said, coming up from a few feet away. "It's not worth the risk."
"That's your opinion, not your decision," T-Dog said, annoyance lacing his tone.
"Christ, shut up," Daryl told them. "I'll tell her it's no good. If she feels bad enough and wants it she can have it. She can make her own damn choice."
As much as the group got along and liked each other well enough, tensions had been rising. Which caused most of them to bicker and fight, it didn't help to be so close together in the RV for days, and no one really had any time for themselves.
Daryl turned around when he heard the RV door open, Sasha stepped out, her expression tired and concerned.
"She good?" Daryl asked stiffly.
Sasha bit her lip, "my guess? It's an infection, caused by an untreated cold."
"All 'cause she said her back hurts? I ain't never had to treat no cold." Daryl dismissed her thoughts right away, frustrated he wasn't hearing what he wanted to.
"Back pain isn't always as simple as just back pain."
"Its the fuckin' sniffles!" He snapped.
Sasha didn't take well to his reaction, causing her to be frustrated as well. "This is different, this is a malnourished, starving child. With nothing to protect herself against the environments we've been pushing through."
"Please." Daryl rolled his eyes. "We're all malnourished, we're all starvin'. How the hell does shovin' it back in our faces help?"
"You asked my opinion. I gave it. I'm not a goddamn doctor, but I've had more medical experience than any of you. And whatever that is, I'm pretty sure it's in her lungs."
"Then use whatever the fuck you think ya know! Your experience ain't worth a damn if ya can't fix this!"
"She's not broken, she's sick! I fought fires not-" Sasha broke off, frustration forcing tears from her eyes.
Rick pushed Daryl back, "hey, you need to calm down."
"No, I'm pissed off these people can't pull their fuckin' weight, why the hell do we have 'em here for?"
"Daryl, are you hearing yourself?"
Daryl pulled away, shaking his head. "I fuckin' know she's sick. I was lookin' for somethin' I didn't know."
Sasha stared at Daryl's defeated expression. Her frustration began to dissipate, she'd been trained to deal with difficult people, people who were quick to aggression and violence. She'd let her emotions, her fear and frustration cloud her mind. Remembering her training as she calmed herself, she could see Daryl wasn't mad at her, or anyone else. He was angry at himself, he felt helpless and defeated. He'd been focused on the girl for so long, watching after her, keeping her safe. He had no choice, she chose him, and he let her. Daryl just wanted someone to give him the answer to solve the problem.
A simple cold had escalated into something possibly deadly.
If after all they'd endured, the dead rising, Atlanta, the CDC, Sophia, Carol, Guillermo's people, Shane . . . If after all that, a runny nose could be the end, then what was the point?
"I don't have the answer," Sasha said calmly. Daryl was looking for the opposite of what Sasha told him, he didn't want to hear Toby had gotten worse, anyone could see it. He wanted to hear it wasn't as bad as it seemed, or even a solution. He wanted to hear what he told Lori only a few minutes before, that it would all be fine.
"I know. Sorry," he mumbled.
"But . . ." Sasha hesitated, glancing around at the others. "I have a suggestion."
"Whatever you got is more than the rest of us," T-Dog said.
"I think we should stop. We need to settle, it's too hard and stressful on everyone. Even more so on Toby and Lori."
"That's what we've been trying to do," Rick said, getting angry. "Trying to find a good, safe place to have the baby and stay."
"Maybe we're asking for too much. I think we're at the point where we need to find somewhere suitable, instead of good."
"No, we're not stopping, we already decided we would try to at least get closer to Hershel. We keep going in that direction, we'll try new areas we'll find something." Rick argued.
Sasha only shook her head, she wanted to keep talking, explain that they'd been going for long enough. But Rick was not ready to hear it.
"We've been here too long, I'll tell Carl and the others it's time to go. Everyone in," Rick instructed, turning away without another word.
Sasha and Daryl exchanged glances before she turned into the RV, after a moment, he followed her in to see Toby.
Toby was sitting up in the bed, she was pale and looked like she hadn't slept.
"When," Toby paused, making a wheezing sound as she breathed in. "Can I hunt?"
"When ya get better."
"Houses?"
Toby's voice was so scratchy Daryl felt as if he could hear her vocal cords rubbing together, it sounded painful. She was using as little words as possible to minimize the pain.
"When yer better," he said again, trying to act normal. He didn't want to let on how frustrated and concerned he was. "It ain't yer fault, just ain't safe. Remember the last time? The Walkers heard ya."
Toby looked down. Daryl didn't want to mention it, he was trying to explain it to her gently, playing it off as if it wasn't a big deal. Days before they'd been searching a house, a small group of Walkers had been passing by in the front. With the others off somewhere else, they opted to stay quiet and let the group pass. But Toby was unable to hold in her cough, she'd tried for several moments, only to break out into a long fit causing her to vomit.
It had been dangerous, Daryl had to be quick and take out as many while holding them back, waiting for the others to come to their aid. Since then, the group decided it was better for Toby to sit out the dangerous situations until she had control over herself again.
Daryl backtracked, "like I said, ain't yer fault. Just safer for now."
Toby didn't respond, she stayed quiet. Daryl knew how she felt, like she was a burden, useless. It didn't help that she was usually cooped up all day without much to do.
"Found this for you, it's medicine, but it might not . . ." Daryl pulled the bottle out before trailing off.
"Hm?" Toby made the noise in the hope it was a better alternative than talking, but she was curious about what Daryl was trying to say.
"Might not . . . y'know, work right away. Could take a bit. So just take it and see how ya feel," he opened the bottle and handed it to her. "Few sips, not too much."
Toby raised it to her lips and just as quickly tore it away, her tongue out, "gross."
"S'posed ta be. Quicker you get better, the quicker you can hunt."
Toby shot him a look of disgust but didn't argue, she took a few more small sips before giving the bottle back.
One Week Later
"We knew this would happen," Tyreese sighed.
"Doesn't make it any better," Rick replied.
"No fix to it?" Guillermo asked.
Daryl shook his head, "nah, it's done."
"Wanna know the irony of it?" T-Dog wiped the grease from his hands onto his shirt.
"No." They all replied.
"We still have plenty of gas," he said.
Together the group stood on the side of the road, staring at the RV in dismay. After months of issues with the RV, having it constantly going for months, it had finally died.
Rick looked around, there was nothing but empty fields, they were miles from anything.
"We're closing in on Nunez, that's not too far from Hershel's," T-Dog explained, not bothering to hide the hopelessness he felt. "We didn't get to that area before, maybe we'll find something."
"You sound like a broken record, gringo. We cannot force a pregnant woman to walk until we find a car."
"What other options do we have?" T-Dog asked, throwing his arms up.
"We don't even have cars," Tyreese exclaimed.
"He's right," Rick said, "we have to find a vehicle before we do anything else. At least then we'll have some sort of shelter."
"We'll need a van or something, there's nine of us."
"Eight," Daryl corrected, "my bike works fine."
"You realize we're walking at this point, right?"
"Yeah."
"You're going to walk your bike until we find a car?"
"Yeah?" Daryl furrowed his eyebrows, confused at why this was even a question.
"Okay then."
Daryl rolled his eyes, "we can tie some bags and blankets to my bike, so not everyone's carryin' shit. We'll bring some of the gas we collected too, so we got somethin'. How much food we got left?"
"Few days worth," Rick answered. "If we're careful."
"We'll be careful until we find more," Lori assured.
"We got some huntin' to do, boys," Daryl said a low voice as he walked off. They had no choice but to push on, no matter how worried they were about Lori or Toby, the only answer was to keep going.
So they kept going.
One Week Later
T-Dog slammed the trunk closed after storing a few gallons of gas inside, his eyes quickly wandering over to the very pregnant woman several feet from him.
Lori was pacing back and forth, taking deep breaths as Sasha spoke with her. After believing Lori may be in labor, they'd all stopped, fearful and frantic. Not too long after Lori claimed it was a false alarm, it was only Braxton Hicks.
"How are we on gas?" Rick asked.
"Daryl and I siphoned a few gallons more from down the road. Gas is not an issue. I'm just happy we found more than one working vehicle. I know we only had that truck for two days, but eight of us splitting the car and the bed, torture." T-Dog shook his head in displeasure. After the RV broke down the group spent over a full day before finding anything else, after using the truck for a few days they drove into a town with plenty of vehicles to choose from, not all of them in working order.
Rick turned to see Sasha coming forward, "she says she's fine now. She wants to keep going."
"And is she?"
"It's-" she stopped and spun around, the sound of hurried footsteps drawing their attention.
"Walkers! We have to go," Tyreese exclaimed, he'd been up the road keep watch.
"Get everyone in, quick," Rick ordered as Tyreese rushed off to collect everyone.
"Did anyone find food?" Sasha asked hurriedly.
Rick shook his head."
"Jesus," T-Dog's eyebrows furrowed in fear, "What are we going to do?"
"Hopefully we can go hunting tonight, we have to shake this herd first." Rick walked off to get in the driver's side of the vehicle. When everyone was loaded in the two cars, and Daryl on his bike, they drove off.
A little over an hour later, Rick asked Lori for the third time how she was feeling.
"I told you it was a false alarm, if I feel anything else you'll be the first to know."
"That isn't answering my question."
"I'm tired, I'm hungry. Is that what you want to hear? We're all hungry, Rick, I don't know what you want me to say."
"Can we stop somewhere tonight?" Carl asked from the back, T-Dog was beside him. "I don't want to sleep in the car anymore, and I found some more comics at the last house. I want to show Toby."
"I know you do, I'm sure she'll be happy to see them," Lori smiled at him. "Why didn't you ask her to ride with us?"
Carl looked away, "she won't."
"Some townhouses up ahead," Rick pointed out. "We'll stop here. Clear the place out, check for food and you can see how she's doing. Share your water if she needs it."
Carl nodded as Rick pulled the car over.
As Guillermo kept a lookout at the car, Tyreese and Sasha circled the house, taking care of any stray Walkers.
Rick led the way in as they burst into the house, shooting a Walker with his silenced handgun as T-Dog lurched forward stabbing another with his fire poker. Daryl turned into the other room, shooting the third Walker with his crossbow. Carl followed behind the men, holding his gun at his side, ready to fire as he stormed in.
Carl carefully checked around corners through the house, shooting a Walker he found standing in the kitchen. The counter was cluttered with empty cans and jars. He started picking them up and searching around, hoping to find one that was full.
Outside the house, Guillermo knocked on the back window of the SUV, Toby was seated in the back. Without looking at him, she opened the door and climbed out.
"You feeling all right?" Lori asked her.
Toby shrugged before coughing in response. The sound of the cough had changed over the weeks. It sounded dry and rough, with a sharp staccato quality.
Toby looked exhausted as usual, whenever it came time to rest her cough would interrupt any peace she wanted. She moved sluggishly out of the car, leaning against it once she was out.
"Want to get your bag? We'll be going in soon."
Toby shook her head.
After waiting a few short minutes, Rick's sharp whistle caught their attention from the porch, signaling it was safe to go in.
Guillermo led the way with Lori close behind. Lori held a rolled-up blanket under her arm, the strap of her bag tucked in the crook of her elbow, causing the bag to bounce off her leg as she walked. Lori's free arm cradled her large belly.
Rick stood at the door, keeping his head low as Lori walked passed, Toby followed behind her slowly, briefly glancing at Rick with hard eyes as she entered the house.
The group gathered in the large living room in the house. Tyreese and Sasha sat on the floor after entering from the back door. Daryl strolled down the stairs, his mood lifted by the dead owl in his hands. When he entered the room he made eye contact with Toby, holding up his recent kill for her to see. Toby gave a subtle smile, watching him as he began plucking the owl and taking a seat next to her.
Carl was the last to enter the room, a can in each hand. He sat on the floor before pulling a can opener out of his bag. The other looked at the cans in dismay, seeing that it wasn't any kind of food they were hoping for, it was dog food.
No one said anything, only watched the boy as he began twisting the knob to open the can. The grinding sound caused Rick to look over, he took slow steps toward his son, taking the can from him.
Rick stared at the can, his face contorting in frustration as he tossed the can across the room. The sound caused everyone, even Daryl to jump. Again, they were all quiet, the only thing to break their silence was Toby's coughing and constant clearing of the throat.
"Psst," T-Dog was across the room, seated at the window. They all looked over, seeing the number of Walkers headed their way.
Quickly they grabbed whatever they had and left the house. They rushed into their vehicles, the sound of snarling and groaning close behind them.
Daryl stomped out the small fire, Toby sat in the grass beside him.
"How's the owl? Know it ain't much."
She shrugged.
"Cough syrup help?"
"Dunno, guess so," she answered quietly, her voice a bit more clear then it used to be.
Daryl stared down at her, "ya sound better."
"Don't feel like it."
"Well, how you feel then?"
"Like I'm dyin'."
Daryl rolled his eyes, "yer not."
"It hurts to breathe, I wanna stop," her hoarse voice cracked as she spoke.
Daryl's eyes met her own, her eyes were wet and wide, showing him how frustrated and tired she was. Daryl had been struggling with himself in not being able to help her or ease her pain, sometimes feeling incapable or useless. It was easy to forget that Toby may be feeling the same way.
Daryl carefully placed his hand on her head, giving it a single stroke in an attempt to provide comfort, "don't make me slap ya."
He walked off, meeting up with the others gathered around one of the vehicles.
"We got no place left to go." Daryl heard T-Dog say, he saw they had the map out on the hood.
"When this herd meets up with this one, we'll be cut off. We'll never make it south." Sasha pointed to two spots on the map.
"What would you say? That was about a hundred-and-fifty head?" Daryl crossed his arms over the hood, raising his eyebrows.
"The more they walk the more they collect," Guillermo stood a few feet away, not bothering to look over the map.
"He's right, it's been days, could be twice that by now," Tyreese slid his finger on the paper. "This river could have delayed them. If we move fast, we might have a shot to tear right through there."
T-Dog shook his head, "yeah, but if this group joins with that one, they could spill out this way."
"So we're blocked," Sasha sighed.
"Only thing to do is double back at 27 and swing towards Greenville," Rick finally said.
T-Dog flicked his hand up, "yeah, we picked through that already. Last time we went through this area we went in circles for months, we can't do that. We already know what isn't there."
Rick put his hands on his hips, nodding. "Yeah, I know. I know. At Newnan we'll push west. Haven't been through there yet. We can't keep going house to house. Need to find someplace to hole up for a few weeks." He glanced at Lori briefly, who was seated in the car still.
"All right. Is it cool if we get to the creek before we head out? Won't take long. We got to fill up on water. We can boil it later." T-Dog requested as he walked off.
"Knock yourself out."
"She can't take much more of this moving about," Sasha said quietly.
"What else can we do? Let her give birth on the run?"
"Do you see a way around that? The few chances we had to stop are gone, we're practically surrounded now."
Rick sighed and rubbed his eyes as she walked off.
Daryl was bent over, pulling back the string on his crossbow, "Hey, while the others wash their panties, let's go hunt. That owl didn't exactly hit the spot."
Rick wordlessly agreed, following him out into the woods, leaving the others with the cars on the road.
"Things are quiet here, haven't seen a Walker yet. C'mon, let's go along the train tracks."
"They'll find us soon, or that herd will catch up if we stay in one place too long," Rick said, keeps his eyes sharp as they walked.
"Gonna be hard to circle back to Hershel's with the herds, if it's even still standin'."
"You think it's not?"
"We seen how the herds tear things up, it's gotten worse since we were here last. Just 'cause it was safe before, don't mean it is now. Don't act like ya haven't thought 'bout it."
"I have. I try not to, but . . . I'd like to think the farm is the same. Empty, quiet, safe."
"Well, if we go, we'll find out. Just don't think we should keep our hopes high."
"We need a doctor, Hershel is our only shot. And we haven't been able to stay in a house for more than a few hours these days."
"I know, that's what I'm worried about."
Rick let it go, there was no use going back and forth on the possibility of the fate of the Greene farm.
"How's Toby feeling?"
"She don't sound like she's chokin' on razers no more, that's gotta count for something. Don't get it, it was just a cold, should be gone."
"For a while she was getting worse, it was obvious to see how bad it was getting. But lately I'm not seeing that."
"She may not be gettin' worse, but she ain't gettin' better."
"We'll beat this," Rick assured.
"That cold don't wanna be beat."
"We'll beat it all the same. Like we beat everything else."
Daryl walked ahead without a word, turning his head slowly, searching for the slightest movement in the trees. Daryl slowed as they entered a clearing. What he saw in the distance made him stop.
"That's a shame," Daryl remarked.
Rick raised an eyebrow, stopping beside him. Rick felt everything stop as he gazed at the far, concrete building, a large field surrounded by a fence, tall watchtowers at every corner. A prison.
Walkers blindly stumbled around the field, trapped inside.
Rick felt the corner of his lips lift, "it's perfect."
Whoo hoo! Finally at the prison and FINALLY another chapter.
I know this chapter isn't very good and interesting, maybe it wasn't even worth the wait. I hope you liked it either way, it's pretty long haha.
The purpose of this chapter was filler, along with showing the struggles on the road on their way to the prison, and obviously, to get to the prison! Which is has accomplished
I'm very sorry for the wait and I really hope you did like this installment, there has been a lot of trouble with school and family. finally getting back into the groove of things and hoping that being at the prison will give me more of a boost. I'm so excited to finally write the prison.
I think it's time for the group to reunite with Hershel and Glenn, what do you think? :)
Let me know what you think of this one!