SouL PurPosE

Chapter One

Was I really dead? Is that what was going on? I didn't feel dead, and yet I couldn't interact with anything around me. If so, how was I standing on what felt like solid flooring? I checked my feet just to make sure. Ugh! Was I seriously stuck in this medical gown for all eternity? And these shoes! They weren't even shoes! They were more like stretchy socks with rubber on the soles.

I glanced around the med unit in search of anything to prove to myself that indeed I wasn't dreaming. There was a mirror next to the cabinet on the far wall and I stepped up to it, anxious and afraid of what I'd see or if I'd see anything at all. Indeed, there was a reflection there and I moved my head from side to side to check my profile. I didn't look all that bad for a dead person. Maybe a little pale, but quite similar to my normal self.

I wasn't going to be satisfied I was correct in the assumption I had passed until I saw the body. If only Obi-Wan would pull back that sheet!

Almost as if he had heard me, he lifted his head, wiped his face onto the sleeve of his tunic and then checked his surroundings. After making sure the coast was clear, he lifted the covering and I advanced.

And there I was. Looking peaceful and still, clothed in that awful white medical gown. Ever so closely, I lowered my head toward myself. I guess I wanted to make certain I wasn't breathing. I didn't detect any until Obi-Wan's own touched my cheek. His nearness caused me to abruptly step back and I watched with curious amazement as he bent over and tenderly kissed my cold, unresponsive lips.

Again, he apologized and then told me goodbye.

I was absolutely stunned. Did he have feelings for me? If so, why hadn't he ever said so? And what had he meant by doing something after we'd first met? How could he possibly be a coward? He was the most courageous man I'd ever known! We were both so young back then. Surely, he hadn't been attracted to me while I was Queen of Naboo. How could he have been underneath all that face paint and layers upon layers of cloth I constantly wore?

"Obi-Wan," I said to him in what I considered my normal tone of voice, at least while I was still alive. He didn't respond, so I tried again. "Obi-Wan!" I yelled out as loudly as I could manage, and still, no response.

Why was I here? Was there some reason? Some purpose I didn't realize yet? Would I figure it out soon? Or was I destined to wander around inside this asteroid for eternity?

Maybe this was my recompense for all the mean tricks I used to play on my sister when we were children. She had once called me a little devil. Maybe she'd been right!

Once again, I stepped in front of the mirror and looked at my reflection. No horns, not that I believed in such things. During my time, I had done all I could to treat others with respect and care. I loved my family and I was a good wife. I would've been a good mother had I been given the chance.

There had to be a reason I was here, and so far, the only person I'd encountered was Obi-Wan. Who…

Wait! Where did he go?

While I'd been indulging my overactive imagination, he had left the room, and I hurried to catch up to him. As I did so, the hallway through which we passed became darker until I lost sight of him completely. And then the sky opened up to reveal a beautiful sunset. I rotated quickly around and took in the sight. Naboo. I would recognize this place anywhere.

But why was I here and who or what had delivered me? I was standing near the pier below the palace and there was no one around, although that soon changed.

As I stood and watched, the street began to fill with citizens from all over the galaxy. I then realized what I was actually witnessing. There, in a lifter, clothed in dark blue, surrounded by white flowers was my body. Thousands of mourners marched along with it, but my focus was on those who were directly behind me; my family.

I wanted to speak to my mother, to tell her how sorry I was that I didn't tell her what was going on. She had no idea of the troubles Anakin and I were having. She probably didn't even realize he was the one who had killed me. On Naboo, we didn't talk about such matters. If certain things were out of our control, then they didn't need to be discussed.

I walked along with them, wishing desperately to give comfort to my nieces at least. After a while, I figured out we were heading to the mausoleum, where all the bodies of past leaders of Naboo were kept. It was to be my final resting place, except for one problem.

I wasn't resting!

"Tell me!" I yelled out to the heavens. "Tell me what I'm supposed to do! Why am I here?"

Not a single member of my family heard my cry, and I stood back in frustration and watched as they continued down the street.

Only then did I notice a single young woman who had paused and glanced back in my general direction. She looked somewhat alarmed and I took a chance and rushed toward her.

"Dorme! Can you hear me?"

Her head craned back as if a sudden loud noise had hurt her ears.

"Yes! Stop yelling at me!" And then she reached out, ever so slowly, allowing her hands to drift through the air. I wasn't sure what she was trying to accomplish, but her fingertips passed right through me.

"Padme? Is that you?"

Thank the stars! "Dorme? Yes! I'm here! I'm right here standing in front of you! I guess I'm a ghost or something." What a relief! Now, maybe I could get some answers.

Her face was telling me something different, however. She didn't exactly look like she was willing to be cooperative or if she even believed me. I recognized that sly little smirk of hers which was followed by a nervous chuckle.

"Okay, I get it. That's pretty sick, you know? Whoever is pulling this prank, I don't think it's funny! Not one damn bit!"

She hurried to catch up with the crowd, and I followed quickly behind her, talking the entire way.

"You have to listen!" I pleaded. "You're the only one who can hear me!"

And yet, she continued walking while ignoring me. I wasn't about to give up, however, so I started singing a popular song that came out a few years ago; one I knew she hated. It had the most irritating chorus that stuck in your head and refused to leave you alone, and it was what I kept repeating.

Still, she continued to pretend not to hear me.

Next, I started reciting the Handmaiden's Code, all ten sections of it with its fifteen amendments. By that time, my body had been placed into its tomb and the crowd began to disperse. Dorme left as well, and as an extension of the royal family, was most likely going to spend the night in the palace. I followed her there and spoke about our years together; the good and the bad times. During those last few, whenever Anakin was around, Dorme had made herself scarce. I knew she didn't like him, because she'd told me so. The girl never minced words. That was one of the things I liked about her.

I stood in the guest room as she readied for bed, got in, covered up, and then turned off the light. Even though I'd gotten a little sidetracked toward the end, she knew me better than anyone, so she shouldn't be surprised to discover I was going to talk to her until she acknowledged me. Even if it took all night!

I started telling the rather long and somewhat boring history of Naboo royalty, along with details about every King and Queen I could think of. I quoted ancient Naboo proverbs and then some really bad poetry I used to write while I was Queen.

At one point, she had smashed a pillow over her head, until about an hour later, she threw it across the room and turned on the light.

"Okay, okay! I give up! Only you would keep me up half the night to prove a point!"

I couldn't help but laugh at her reference. There had been many nights in our past I'd kept her awake while practicing a speech I was to deliver to the Senate the following day.

"I wish I could see you," she said sadly, staring across the room. "Do you look the same or are you all glowy and transparent?"

"The same," I confirmed, "although I guess I'm stuck in the outfit I died in — a medical gown."

"Ew!" she said with some exaggerated disgust. "One of those plain white ones that are open in the back?"

"I'm afraid so," I explained. "What's worse is the matching booties."

"So, your ass is hanging out for all the other ghosts to see. I'm so sorry. I'll be sure when my time comes I'll be dressed more fashionably!"

Even though we were both joking around as we usually did, I realized a more serious discussion was just ahead.

"I miss you," she told me with sudden heartfelt emotion. "What happened?"

That was a long story, but apparently, I had all eternity to share it.