Chapter 2
Everyone was piled in the limo to the chocolate factory, but it got a little crowded.
"I can't breathe!" gasped Stacey.
A little while later, Paul fell asleep on Carter, the mayor fell asleep on Mike, and Stuart kept trying to do it with Stacey, but there wasn't enough room or air.
About 20 minutes later, a sign overhead read, " 10 miles to State's Only Chocolate Factory. Our's is fun. Don't go to Hershey!"
"I like ponies," mumbled Paul in his sleep. "Do you like ponies? I like mine with grefertzweraaaaaaaaaaaaa…" He started to mumble things in his sleep. As did the mayor, except he started to drool on Mike's jacket.
" Help. Help! I'm being attack by Grandma! HELP!" shouted the mayor. Paul woke up from the screaming.
"I'll buy a vowel!" Paul shouted and knocked against Stuart. Stuart banged his head against the door. Stacey started kicking Stuart, but then hit Carter. Carter attempted to splash Stacey with some wine, but splashed it on the mayor.
"What happened?" he asked quickly. Everyone glared at the mayor. "What?"
Paul looked out the window. "Hey, we're here!" he said.
"Hello, Hershey, Transylvania!" said the mayor.
"Uh, sir," said Mike. "There's no such place."
"Oh. Hello, Hershey, Pennsylvania!"
"Actually, we're in Weehawken, New Jersey."
As soon as the limo parked, everyone got out and was awe-strucken. They saw a gigantic building painted in burnt ornage, trees surrounded the building, and friendly children came out and said the mayor's name…at least that's what the mayor expected. The building was made of brick, shrubs with half the leaves gone partially surrounded, and a few midgets were smoking outside by the side door.
"What the hell is all this?" asked Stuart who expected something different. "Where are the little orange guys?" asked Paul.
" Paul, they're not real," said Stacey. "Are they, Mike?"
Mike shrugged. All of a sudden, the rusted gates to the chocolate factory started to open, but about half way, they got stuck.
"SON OF A—" shouted a guy angerily from behind a shrub. He got out from behind the shrub and pushed it himself. The guy was dressed in a maroon suit with a top hat and tail behind the jacket. He had spiky blonde hair below the hat and was covered in dirt.
"Hey, it's Willy Wernka!" said Stuart.
"You know his name?" asked Mike.
"Who, that guy?" asked Stuart. "No, that's what I call my wang when it's awoken." He looked at Stacey. Stacey felt unprotected.
"My name is Billy Germania," said the guy in a whimsical voice.
Everyone started laughing.
"That's my real name," said Billy. The laughing stopped. "I assume that you're the guy who won these tickets?"
"Yes. Won," said the mayor nervously.
"Actually," said Mike, "he's the mayor of New York City, and I'm the deputy mayor. He spoke out to the chocoholic community and got these as a gift."
"Whatever," said Billy. The mayor and Mike handed Billy their tickets. "Welcome to Billy Germainia's Chocolate Factory!" he proclaimed.
"YEA!" shouted everyone as they walked through the gates to an unexpected adventure.
Meanwhile, back at City Hall…
"James, there are some things in life you shouldn't fall for," said Nikki. "You don't want to end up like the last speech writer the mayor had."
"What happened?" asked James.
"Well," started Janelle, "when he called the mayor a little s.o.b, he got fired, was put on New York's Most Wanted list, and is now dead."
"Really?" asked James. "But I muttered that about him two days ago." He pictured his face on a huge "WANTED" sign and having the police chasing him.
"No," said Janelle.
The thought disappeared. "Oh," sighed James.
"We're going to help you through this. We're going to tell you stories and I want to tell us if they're real or not. Ready?" asked Nikki.
James nodded his head.
"Okay. Once upon a time… there was an ugly old man… his name was Gahbunga! Anyway, Gahbunga walked down the street to find a cat, but this was no ordinary cat, but a very sick cat. Gahbunga was a homeless man, but he did whatever he could to treat it back to health. A few days later, this cat became better, but it turns out that the cat belonged to a very rich man, and the cat ran away. The man was given $10,000 and a kitten from the new litter."
James thought for a little bit. "Not true."
"Actually," said Nikki. "It was."
"Now, since the tour is scheduled to begin at 9:00 tomorrow morning, and since I know you took so long to arrive…"
No one bothered to mention that the trip took only half an hour.
"I've arranged for you to stay overnight at—"
Paul suddenly cut in, as giddy as a little boy. "You mean we'll get to stay in the chocolate factory where the walls are made out of chocoalte and we get to eat the chocolate walls and then we get kicked out for eating the chocolate walls? Oh boy! I'm glad I didn't eat that extra Big Mac!"
"Actually," said Billy, "you'll be staying across the street at Howard Johnson's."
"You're not talking about that crappy motel where everyone gets food poisoning at the restaurant?" complained Stacey in her whiny Brooklyn accent.
"No, you'll be staying at my friend Howard Johnson's place. I should warn you, though, he's a little bonkers," whispered Billy.
Mike looked across the street to see an old guy wearing tattered clothes and messy hair throwing cats at them.
Stuart examined the man more closely. "Hey, wait a minute. Isn't that Old Man Gahbunga?"
"No. Now go over to Gahbunga's—I mean, HOWARD JOHNSON's place." The gates would have banged shut if they hadn't stopped halfway. "I have got to get new gates!" Billy slammed the gates shut with his own two hands.
"Okay, James," said Janelle, " a man and a woman from Transylvania met over the internet and they fell in love, and the internet relationship lasted for three months until they met in person. Anyway, they got married and had a kid. They named him Yahoo because of the famous website."
"Hmmm," James thought. "I said false for the last one, so I'll go with…true!"
"False," said Janelle and Nikki at the same time. "This'll take all night."
Back in New Jersey…
"What do you mean I don't have enough money?" snapped the mayor. They were in the lobby of some cheap motel as the mayor realized he didn't have enough money for a hotel.
"Well, sir, I don't think you should've spent that $20 on that dumb shirt," said Mike. The mayor held up a shirt that said "I make stuff up."
"What? I find it funny! Look, Paul. I make stuff up."
"No kidding," said Paul.
The receptionist typed up something on his computer. "Well, Mr. Mayor. It turns out we have a room for you and your friends after all."
"Great! I don't care what it looks like," he said happily.
When the six of them got to their room, all that was in there was a king-sized bed and a TV.
"Uh-oh," said the mayor. "There's only one bed."
"As long as Stacey and I get it, it's fine," said Stuart. Stacey gave him the look.
"Okay, so there's one bed and six of us. How are we going to do this?" asked Mike.
Five minutes later, everyone is crowded onto the bed.
"Nice going, Mike!" said Stuart. "I could've had a perfect evening with Stace—OW! Someone kicked me!"
"I kicked you!" said Stacey. "Hey, stop touching my butt!"
"My bad," said Paul. "Someone's touching my butt!"
"That's me!" said Carter.
"Can I turn off the light? The lightbulb is burning my hand," said the mayor with his hand on top of the lamp.
"Everyone! Just go to sleep!" said Mike. The mayor, sighed with relief, turned off the light and everyone thought that so far, this was a bad idea.
To Be Continued…