SouL PurPosE

Chapter Nine

"What do you think you're doing?" Dorme shouted at me – a sound that ricocheted painfully in my head.

"Please, Dor," I pleaded, using a nickname I'd given her years ago. "Let me speak with him. Maybe he'll listen to me."

I could feel the struggle and her resistance inside just before something broke. It was as if she was splitting into pieces and parts of her were falling like leaves all around me. I tried to catch them to put them back together, but they slipped out of my grasp.

"Obi-Wan!" I shouted, using my own words. "I need your help!"

My plea caught him off guard and just as he'd reached the stairway, he spun around. No doubt, Dorme's face appeared as frantic as I felt.

"What is it?" he asked with increasing concern, rushing over to grab hold of her by the arms. I could feel her body sliding down and taking me with her.

"I know this is difficult for you to believe, but it's me, Padme!" I explained. "I'm confined to this realm and I'm desperate to speak with you. I tried to get my aid, Dorme, to help me, but you won't listen to her! So, I took possession of her body, which I've done before, but this time, something bad has happened! I can't feel her! What's wrong?"

Obi-Wan's eyes darted back and forth as if he were trying his best to believe what I was telling him. I knew he couldn't refuse a cry for help, though. It wasn't within him to do such a thing.

"Take it easy and come sit back down."

I thought he meant the chair, but instead, he drew me to the floor and guided me into a cross-legged posture.

"I'm going to access the Force and attempt to access your mind. Will you allow that?"

He could do that? "Of course!" I told him desperately. If something had happened to Dorme, I would never forgive myself!

"Try to stay relaxed and take deep breaths. This might feel a little strange."

He then placed his right thumb underneath my chin and his middle finger upon my temple right before he closed his own eyes. Immediately, he frowned and a deep line appeared between his brows. After a while, I got tired of keeping my eyes open and I settled into a type of meditation, where I pictured Dorme and I separated as two individuals, laughing and walking together. Obi-Wan was there, of course, and he reached for my hand. I felt his touch and he felt mine as well. I was alive again! It wasn't only a pleasant thought but brought me a good deal of comfort as well. With my hand in his, I felt safe - more than I ever had in my entire life. It seemed as if throughout my career as both Queen and Senator, I was constantly placed into the path of danger, of no fault of my own. I'd always had to defend and take care of myself. Even when I was married to Anakin, I never felt completely secure. He'd only brought more worry and concern into my life.

This vision of me and Obi-Wan was different. It felt like we were meant to be together. But how was that possible when I was dead? Unless of course, the Force intended for us to be together in the afterlife.

"No!" I shouted. I needed to immediately retreat out of Dorme's mind! If this was all some sort of twisted darkside trap – if Obi-Wan was in any danger whatsoever, I wasn't about to let that happen! He had to stay alive!

I could sense his cry for me to wait, but it seemed distant and by the time I'd heard him, it was too late. However, my desperate attempts at departure failed and I ended up coming apart myself. I slumped forward into the darkness, taking Dorme's body down to the floor with me.

There was a strange woman in my bed. When she walked into the factory, I immediately recognized her as Senator Amidala's aide. Frankly, though, even after she'd tried to explain to me why she had traveled to Stewjon, I had no idea why she was here.

Did I believe her story about being haunted by Padme's ghost? I hadn't yet decided. The spirit of my own Master visited me from time to time, but Qui-Gon was relying upon the power of the Force to do so. As far as I knew, Padme's M-count wasn't high enough to connect to its power.

However, when her friend cried out for help, I couldn't deny her. I justified my actions because of my lifelong efforts to help anyone who needed it. The young woman was apparently suffering from some type of psychic shock, and the only thing I could think of to do was to check on her conscious aura.

I'm no healer. Far from it, but what I discovered within her mind was shocking, to say the least. There were, indeed, two spirits residing inside this woman, and I was drawn to one of them immediately.

There within a radiant glow of lilac was Padme's spirit. But how was this possible?

If I could contact Qui-Gon and ask him, I would, but his visits were only determined by his abilities and they were somewhat limited. He ensured me his talents would grow, but it would take time. I sure could use his guidance right about now.

I sensed Padme's panic while I was attempting to separate the two of them. I tried to stop her from doing anything drastic. She was only going to worsen the situation, I thought, and regretfully, I was right. Her actions only caused both of them to become unconscious.

Not knowing what else to do, I lay them on my cot and covered them with furs. Afterward, I soaked a thick towel in cold water and applied it to Dorme's forehead.

I'd heard of bodily possessions before, but never thought I'd witness one myself. There was no Jedi code for such a thing, no procedures written down anywhere. I was going to have to figure this one out on my own.

After about an hour of observation and cooling back down the cloth several times, I lay it aside and pulled over a chair. Dorme's vital signs were normal, and her aura seemed calm. There was nothing much I could do now but wait.

When I awoke a few hours later with a crick in my neck, the dark brown eyes of the Senator's assistant were fixed on me.

"What happened?" she asked softly.

I smiled gently, unsure of exactly who I was speaking with. This entire situation was beyond surreal! "I believe you and the Senator experienced some type of psychic shock when she forced herself into your mind. Such an exercise requires the cooperation of both parties and a relaxed and submissive spirit."

"Submissive?" the young woman scoffed. "The Senator doesn't know the meaning of the word."

"Ah, it was Dorme. Allow me to inform you that she's often said the same thing about you."

My confession surprised her. Over the years during times of casual meetings in the Senate, we had often joked around and shared stories of raising a Padawan in comparison to a handmaiden. We eventually called it a draw. They both gave us headaches from time to time, such as the one Dorme was apparently having right now.

"Ow," she murmured while trying to sit up.

"Let me fix you some mint tea. That will help your head."

The young woman apparently wasn't listening to me, and I detected some rather frantic thoughts occurring.

"Senator?" she finally spoke aloud. "Where are you? Where did she go? I can't feel her! I can't hear her!"

I abandoned the tea for a moment and returned to the young woman. "It's all right," I soothed with a touch on her head. "She's dormant for the moment, safely inside your spirit."

"She's what?" Dorme responded with alarm. "That's creepy! This whole thing is creepy! She took over once before, but I was asleep, so I didn't actually know what was going on. But then I woke up and we…well, let's just say the two of us should never be that close. We don't seem to fit so well together."

"Apparently," I laughed gently and retrieved the boiling water to pour a cup of medicinal liquid.

I was having difficulty coming to terms with the idea that Padme was here in my home, so to speak. Most likely because I hadn't yet come to terms with her death. She was supposed to be dead! I didn't understand! Why would the Force hold her in here? What was the point? Was it to torture me for my failures? Was it payment for my crimes? I forced the selfish thoughts from my mind. Now wasn't the time to feel sorry for myself. I'd been doing enough of that lately. These two women were in serious trouble and I needed to figure out a way to help them.

"Tell me," I suggested. "Did Padme ever mention a reason she believes she's still here?" I asked, with the hope that perhaps she had some insight of her own.

The young woman took a few sips of tea. "Yeah, she did mention having some purpose. I think at first she believed it was to discover what had happened to Anakin, but I think she's changed her mind."

"How so?" I asked.

"She's not yet willing to admit it, but I think she's trying to figure out where she went wrong. Why her life didn't turn out the way she expected it to."

That was apparently a common thought these days. "I have the same questions," I informed her quietly.

Damn these thoughts! I couldn't seem to get rid of them! And yet, an opportunity lay before me. To help Padme Amidala in a way I couldn't before. Perhaps I could save her after all. I had to figure out how to convince her to let go of this life and join the Force. Only then would she discover the peace and contentment she's sought for so long.